Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
From inside the book
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Page 1
... psychology into a surprisingly sensible pattern .... [ A ] n intellectual gift to the masses . " -Amazon.com " [ I ] t does provide a fresh and fruitful way of breaking through destructive behavioral impasses . And quite apart from its ...
... psychology into a surprisingly sensible pattern .... [ A ] n intellectual gift to the masses . " -Amazon.com " [ I ] t does provide a fresh and fruitful way of breaking through destructive behavioral impasses . And quite apart from its ...
Page 2
... the perpetual psychological disequilibrium that he sees as lying at the heart of lasting romantic -Thomas Ogden , M.D. , author of Conversations at the Frontier of Dreaming love . " Can Love Last ? The Fate of Romance over Time.
... the perpetual psychological disequilibrium that he sees as lying at the heart of lasting romantic -Thomas Ogden , M.D. , author of Conversations at the Frontier of Dreaming love . " Can Love Last ? The Fate of Romance over Time.
Page 6
... Psychological aspects . 2. Love . I. Title . 306.7 - dc21 HQ801 .M59 2002 2001044452 ISBN 0-393-32373-0 pbk . W. W. Norton & Company , Inc. , 500 Fifth Avenue , New York , N.Y. 10110 www.wwnorton.com W. W. Norton & Company Ltd. , Castle ...
... Psychological aspects . 2. Love . I. Title . 306.7 - dc21 HQ801 .M59 2002 2001044452 ISBN 0-393-32373-0 pbk . W. W. Norton & Company , Inc. , 500 Fifth Avenue , New York , N.Y. 10110 www.wwnorton.com W. W. Norton & Company Ltd. , Castle ...
Page 12
... psychology , sexual passion and enduring love have separate deriva- tions , one primitive , one civilized , locking them in an inversely pro- portional relationship . A passionate sexual relationship with one's partner bodes poorly for ...
... psychology , sexual passion and enduring love have separate deriva- tions , one primitive , one civilized , locking them in an inversely pro- portional relationship . A passionate sexual relationship with one's partner bodes poorly for ...
Page 22
... psychological blow , to our estima- tion of our own importance . Prior to Freud's revelations , we humans , in our diminished state , one among an infinite variety of life forms , out at the periphery rather than at the center of things ...
... psychological blow , to our estima- tion of our own importance . Prior to Freud's revelations , we humans , in our diminished state , one among an infinite variety of life forms , out at the periphery rather than at the center of things ...
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Common terms and phrases
adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck