Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
From inside the book
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Page 22
... forms , out at the periphery rather than at the center of things- we diminutive humans could at least claim self - governance . But , Freud demonstrated , the human being is not even " master in his own house " : we do not even run our ...
... forms , out at the periphery rather than at the center of things- we diminutive humans could at least claim self - governance . But , Freud demonstrated , the human being is not even " master in his own house " : we do not even run our ...
Page 23
... forms of life . At first , the immediate challenge seemed to be to theism itself . If we are not the product of an instantaneous creation , it was reasoned by believers and nonbelievers alike , then perhaps there is no creator at all ...
... forms of life . At first , the immediate challenge seemed to be to theism itself . If we are not the product of an instantaneous creation , it was reasoned by believers and nonbelievers alike , then perhaps there is no creator at all ...
Page 25
... forms of romance , including both romance in our relationship to ourselves and romance in relation to the world around us , what we take to be the " natural " as opposed to the humanly constructed world . Self - directed romance has ...
... forms of romance , including both romance in our relationship to ourselves and romance in relation to the world around us , what we take to be the " natural " as opposed to the humanly constructed world . Self - directed romance has ...
Page 26
... forms of romance , but we will be primarily exploring romance as a form of loving others . Aristotle claimed at the dawn of Western culture that we are social animals . But it is only in recent decades that we have come to appreciate ...
... forms of romance , but we will be primarily exploring romance as a form of loving others . Aristotle claimed at the dawn of Western culture that we are social animals . But it is only in recent decades that we have come to appreciate ...
Page 27
... form , lust is not a pretty thing and is difficult to reconcile with other features of romantic love , such as respect and admiration . So romance tends to degrade into either dispassionate friendship or purely sexual encounters ...
... form , lust is not a pretty thing and is difficult to reconcile with other features of romantic love , such as respect and admiration . So romance tends to degrade into either dispassionate friendship or purely sexual encounters ...
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck