Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
From inside the book
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Page 1
... erotic excitement and domesticity cannot coexist for long . " -Martin Duberman , The Nation " When Stephen Mitchell wrote Can Love Last ?, he was posing a theoretical question - and providing a big - picture answer . " -Adam Begley ...
... erotic excitement and domesticity cannot coexist for long . " -Martin Duberman , The Nation " When Stephen Mitchell wrote Can Love Last ?, he was posing a theoretical question - and providing a big - picture answer . " -Adam Begley ...
Page 27
... erotic currents . Romance is closer to " falling " in love than to being in love . Romance is also closely related to meaning , but not the ponderous kind or the impor- tant sort of meaning that can be generated by suffering and travail ...
... erotic currents . Romance is closer to " falling " in love than to being in love . Romance is also closely related to meaning , but not the ponderous kind or the impor- tant sort of meaning that can be generated by suffering and travail ...
Page 33
... Erotic Life , " Sigmund Freud asserted that " psychical impo- tence " was second only to anxiety as a form of neurotic distress in patients of his time . What he meant by psychical impotence was twofold . He was referring to impotence ...
... Erotic Life , " Sigmund Freud asserted that " psychical impo- tence " was second only to anxiety as a form of neurotic distress in patients of his time . What he meant by psychical impotence was twofold . He was referring to impotence ...
Page 39
... boundaries into the unknown . Romantic love became almost paradigmatic of the transcendent experience ; it was at once both erotic and sacred . The lady loved by the knight , like Beatrice for Safety and Adventure 39.
... boundaries into the unknown . Romantic love became almost paradigmatic of the transcendent experience ; it was at once both erotic and sacred . The lady loved by the knight , like Beatrice for Safety and Adventure 39.
Page 40
... erotic passion , but that erotic passion and adventure led to marital love . Love had become more fully sexualized , and romance was now regarded as the initial spark that would , over time , become modu- lated into a stable basis for ...
... erotic passion , but that erotic passion and adventure led to marital love . Love had become more fully sexualized , and romance was now regarded as the initial spark that would , over time , become modu- lated into a stable basis for ...
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck