Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
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Page 12
... constructing and deconstructing , combining and recom- bining ideas gleaned from his extensive reading and clinical work . Blessed with rigorous intellectual honesty , good thinking fasci- nated him — no matter what the discipline . He ...
... constructing and deconstructing , combining and recom- bining ideas gleaned from his extensive reading and clinical work . Blessed with rigorous intellectual honesty , good thinking fasci- nated him — no matter what the discipline . He ...
Page 25
... be the " natural " as opposed to the humanly constructed world . Self - directed romance has recently been termed " narcissism , " and many psychologists now consider it to be crucial to our sense of identity Introduction 25.
... be the " natural " as opposed to the humanly constructed world . Self - directed romance has recently been termed " narcissism , " and many psychologists now consider it to be crucial to our sense of identity Introduction 25.
Page 38
... constructing a home - staking our claim , securing stabil- ity , feathering our nest . On the other hand , we long for freedom from the constraints which that very security places on our sense of adventure and our thirst for novelty ...
... constructing a home - staking our claim , securing stabil- ity , feathering our nest . On the other hand , we long for freedom from the constraints which that very security places on our sense of adventure and our thirst for novelty ...
Page 45
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck