Can Love Last?: The Fate of Romance over Time"A beautiful and brilliant reexamination of love and its perils."—Barbara Fisher, Boston Globe Common wisdom has it that love is fragile, but leading psychoanalyst Stephen A. Mitchell argues that romance doesn't actually diminish in long-term relationships—it becomes increasingly dangerous. What we regard as the transience of love is really risk management. Mitchell shows that love can endure, if only we become aware of our self-destructive efforts to protect ourselves from its risks. "Those who read this book will love more wisely because of it."—Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon "[A] work on romance that is rich and multi-layered."—Publishers Weekly "Cheerful, open, and humane—you'd definitely have wanted him as your analyst."—Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times Book Review "[T]houghtful, compassionate, and profoundly optimistic."—JoAnn Gutin, Salon.com |
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Page 8
... , even in the face of the most difficult of circumstances . Her dedicated commit- ment has been fundamental in bringing Can Love Last ? into the world . Contents Foreword 11 Introduction 21 1. Safety and Adventure 31 8 Acknowledgments.
... , even in the face of the most difficult of circumstances . Her dedicated commit- ment has been fundamental in bringing Can Love Last ? into the world . Contents Foreword 11 Introduction 21 1. Safety and Adventure 31 8 Acknowledgments.
Page 9
Stephen A. Mitchell. Contents Foreword 11 Introduction 21 1. Safety and Adventure 31 2. The Strange Loops of Sexuality 58 3. Idealization , Fantasy , and Illusions 93 4. Aggression and the Danger of Desire 119 5. Guilt and Self - Pity ...
Stephen A. Mitchell. Contents Foreword 11 Introduction 21 1. Safety and Adventure 31 2. The Strange Loops of Sexuality 58 3. Idealization , Fantasy , and Illusions 93 4. Aggression and the Danger of Desire 119 5. Guilt and Self - Pity ...
Page 29
... is a fragile and endangered condition . Romance seems like a simple , natural state . But romance and its place in our minds and lives are anything but simple . 1 Safety and Adventure To be in love is like Introduction 29.
... is a fragile and endangered condition . Romance seems like a simple , natural state . But romance and its place in our minds and lives are anything but simple . 1 Safety and Adventure To be in love is like Introduction 29.
Page 31
... . He then feels compelled to feign excitement and experiences the woman's inti- mate feelings as increasingly claustrophobic . He invariably finds himself longing for the freedom to date other women and 31 Safety and Adventure.
... . He then feels compelled to feign excitement and experiences the woman's inti- mate feelings as increasingly claustrophobic . He invariably finds himself longing for the freedom to date other women and 31 Safety and Adventure.
Page 32
... adventure . They went to bed . In our sessions , a closer look at Brett's experiences with these two women proved somewhat surprising . On the surface , Betty seemed known , safe , and dull ; Linda seemed strange , wild , and exciting ...
... adventure . They went to bed . In our sessions , a closer look at Brett's experiences with these two women proved somewhat surprising . On the surface , Betty seemed known , safe , and dull ; Linda seemed strange , wild , and exciting ...
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adult adventure aggression animal arousal became become bonobo central childhood commitment complex constructed contemporary culture dangerous degradation dependency ego psychology emerges emotional erotic excitement exploring fantasy feel felt Frans de Waal Fred Freud fundamental Hans Loewald Harold hate Heinz Kohut human experience human sexuality idealization illusion illusory imagination important inevitably infantile intense interpersonal intimacy Jake Jake's kind less lives love and desire lover M. C. Escher marriage mind motives narcissism nature object of desire oedipal omnipotent one's oneself ourselves pain parents partner pathos and guilt perpetually person perspective pity pleasure pornography powerful predictable psychic psychoanalysis psychology reality regarded rela relation Relational Psychoanalysis relationships requires response rience romance romantic love romantic passion seemed self-pity sense sexual social someone Stanley Crouch strange loop struggle surrender things tion traditional unconscious understand University Press vulnerability wife woman women York zipless fuck