WIT-HUMOR-BURLESQUE. THE RHYMING APOTHECARY A MEMBER of the Esculapian line Or mix a draught, or bleed, or blister; Or chatter scandal by your head; bed; Or spread a plaster. He had a patient lying at death's door, it might be four,➡ To whom, one evening, Bolus sent an article, In pharmacy that 's called cathartical, And on the label of the stuff He wrote a verse, Which, one would think, was clear enough, And terse: "When taken, To be well shaken." Early next morning, Bolus rose, Which a vile trick of stumbling had : For, what's expected from a horse, Knocks of this kind Are given by gentlemen, who teach to dance; One loud, and then a little one behind, Out of their fingers. The servant lets him in with dismal face, John's countenance as rueful looked and grim, "Well, how's the patient?" Bolus said: John shook his head. "Indeed!-- hum!-ha! - that's He took the draught?" John "Well, how? what then? 'Why, then," says John, 66 very odd! gave a nod. Speak out, you dunce!" we shook him once." "Shook him! how?" Bolus stammered out. "Zounds! shake a patient, man! - odds curse! "T would make the patient worse." a shake won't do." "It did so, sir, and so a third we tried." 66 "Well, and what then?". Then, sir, my master died." COLM AN ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER. WILL WAG went to see Charley Quirk, More famed for his books than his knowledge, In order to borrow a work He had sought for in vain over college. But Charley replied "My dear friend, Now it happened, by chance, on the morrow, But Willy replied "My dear friend, MRS. GILMAN. OLD GRIMES. OLD GRIMES is dead; that good old man He used to wear a long black coat, His heart was open as the day, His hair was some inclined to gray - Whene'er he heard the voice of pain, Kind words he ever had for all; His eyes were dark and rather small, He lived at peace with all mankind; His coat had pocket-holes behind ; Unharmed, the sin which earth pollutes He passed securely o'er ; And never wore a pair of boots But good old Grimes is now at rest, He modest merit sought to find, He had no malice in his mind, His neighbors he did not abuse- He wore large buckles on his shoes, His knowledge, hid from public gaze, Nor make a noise, town-meeting days, His worldly goods he never threw Thus undisturbed by anxious cares, ALBERT G. GREENE THE REMOVAL. A NERVOUS old gentleman, tired of trade, By which, though, it seems, he a fortune had made, This thought struck his mind when he viewed the estate At six in the morning, their anvils, at work, From morning till night they keep thumping away,- He offered each Vulcan to purchase his shop; 'Agreed!" said the pair; "that will make us amends." "Then come to my house, and let us part friends: You shall dine; and we 'll drink on this joyful occasion, He gave the two blacksmiths a sumptuous regale, So much was he pleased with the thought that each guest "And now," said he, "tell me, where mean you to moveI hope to some spot where your trade will improve?' "Why, sir," replied one, with a grin on his phiz, "Tom Forge moves to my shop, and I move to his!" ANONYMOUS HISTORY OF JOHN DAY. JOHN DAY, he was the biggest man With back too broad to be conceived The very horses knew his weight, Alas! against the shafts of love Soon Cupid sent an arrow through His scarlet coat of mail. The bar-maid of "The Crown" he loved, He thought her fairest of all fares, One day as she was sitting down |