Page images
PDF
EPUB

people about Grofvenor-fquare. We are with fo much contempt from the porter abfolutely, according to him, as little a- and my lord's brother, what must I expect like as if we were not of the fame fpecies; from my noble patron? While I was thus and I find, it is as much impoffible for us reflecting, in comes a gentleman, running to know what paffes at court, as if we up to me, and, taking me cordially by the lived at Rotherhithe or Wapping. I have hand, faid, he was heartily glad to fee me. very frequent opportunities of contemplat- I was greatly diftreffed to know how to being the different treatment I receive from have. I could not imagine this to be his him and his elder brother. My lord, from lordship who was fo affable and courteous, whom I have received many favours, be- and I could not fuppofe it was any body haves to me as if he was the perfon obli- who meant to infult me. My anxiety was ged; while his lordship's brother, who has removed by his pulling out the letter I had conferred no favour on me but borrowing left, and faying, " He was very happy that my money, which he never intends to pay," it was in his power to comply with the behaves as if he was the creditor, and the debt was a forlorn one.

The infolence which is fo much complained of among noblemen's fervants, is not difficult to account for: ignorance, idlenefs, high-living, and a confcioufnefs of the dignity of the noble perfon they serve, added to the example of my lord's brother, whom they find no lefs dependent in the family than themfelves, will naturally make them arrogant and proud. But this conduct in the younger brother muft for ever remain unaccountable. I have been endeavouring to folve this phenomenon to myself, ever fince the following occurrence happened to me.

When I came to fettle in town, about five-and-twenty years ago, I was ftrongly recommended to a noble peer, who promifed to affift me. On my arrival, I waited upon his lordship, and was told by the porter, with an air of great indifference, that he was not at home; and I was very near receiving the door in my face, when I was going to acquaint this civil perfon, that I had a letter in my pocket for his lord: upon my producing it, he faid I might leave it; and immediately fnatched. it from me. I called again the next day, and found, to my great furprife, a fomewhat better reception from my friend the porter, who immediately, as I heard afterwards, by order from his lord, introduced me into the library. When I entered, I faw a gentleman in an armed chair reading a pamphlet, whom, as I did not know him, I took for my lord himself, especially as he did not rife from his chair, or fo much as offer to look towards me, on my entering. I immediately addreffed myself to him with -“My lord”—but was inftantly told by him, without taking his eyes from the pamphlet, that his brother was dreffing: he read on, and left me to contemplate the fituation I was in, that if I had been treated

" contents of it;" at the fame time introducing me to his brother, as a gentleman he was happy to know. This younger brother arose from his chair with great indifference; and, taking me coolly by the hand, faid, "He fhould be proud of fo "valuable an acquaintance;" and, refuming his feat, proceeded to finish his pamphlet. Upon taking leave, my lord renewed his former declaration; but his brother was too intent on his reading to obferve the bow made to him by the valuable acquaintance he a few minutes before profesfed himself so proud of.

I am not ignorant, however, that there are many younger brothers to peers, who acknowledge, with much concern, the truth of what has been faid, and are ready to allow, that, in too many families of diftinction, the younger brother is not the finer gentleman.

I am your humble fervant, &c. B. Thornton $133. Perfons of Quality proved to be Traders.

I always reflect with pleasure, that ftrong as the fondness of imitating the French has been among people of fashion, they have not yet introduced among us their contempt for trade. A French marquis, who has nothing to boaft of but his high birth, would fcorn to take a merchant's daughter by the hand in wedlock, though her father fhould be as rich as the Buffy of the East Indies; as if a Frenchman was only to be valued, like a black-pudding, for the goodnefs of his blood; while our nobility not only go into the city for a wife, but fend their younger fons to a merchant's counting-houfe for education. But, I confess, I never confidered, till very lately, how far they have from time to time departed from this French folly in their efteem for trade; and I find, that the greateft part of our no

bility

bility may be properly deemed merchants, if not traders, and even fhopkeepers.

In the first place, we may confider many of our nobility in the fame light as Beaver or Henfon, or any other keepers of repofitories. The breeding of running-horfes is become a favourite traffic among them; and we know how very largely perfons of the first fashion deal this way, and what great addition they make to their yearly income by winning plates and matches, and then felling the horfe for a prodigious fum. What advantages muft accrue to them, if they have a mare of blood to breed from! But what a treasure have they if they are poffeffed of the stallion in fashion! I can therefore fee no difference between this occupation of my lord and that of any Yorkshire dealer whatfoever: and if his lordship is not always fo fuccefsful in his trade as the jockey of the North, it is not because he does not equally hold it fair to cheat his own brother in horfe-flesh. If a duke rides his own horfes on the course, he does not, in my judgment, differ from any other jockey on the turf; and I think it the fame thing, whether a man gets money by keeping a flallion, or whether he gets it by keeping a bull or a boar for the parish.

We know of many perfons of quality whofe paffion for trade has made them dealers in fighting-cocks; and I heard one declare to me lately, that there was no trufting to fervants in that bufinefs; that he should make nothing of it, if he did not look after the cocks himself; and that, for a month before he is to fight a match, he always takes care of and feeds them himfelf; and for that purpose (ftrange as it may feem) he lies in a little room clofe by them every night. I cannot but admire this induftry, which can make my noble friend quit his lady's bed, while tradefmen of a lower rank neglect their bufinefs for the charms of a kept miftrefs. But it muft be allowed, that these dealers in live fowl are to be confidered as poulterers, as well as those who fell the deer of their park are to be ranked among the butchers in Claremarket; though the latter endeavour artfully to avoid this, by felling their venifon to paftry-cooks and fishmongers.

What shall we fay of thofe who fend venifon, hares, pheasants, partridges, and all other game, to their poulterer and fifhmonger in London, to receive an equivalent in poultry and fish in winter, when they are in town?-Though thefe fportf

men do not truck their commodities for money, they are nothing less than higlers and huck fters, dealers and chapmen, in the proper fenfe of the words; for an exchange was never denied to be a fale, though it is affirmed to be no robbery.

I come now to the confideration of thofe who deal in a much larger and more extenfive way, and are properly filed merchants, while thofe already mentioned are little more than traders in the retailing bufinefs: what immenfe fums are received by thofe electioneering merchants, whofe fortunes and influence in many counties and boroughs enable them to procure a feat in parliament for any that will pay for it! How profitable has nurfing the eftates of extravagant perfons of diftinction proved to many a right honourable friend! I do not mean from his fhewing himself a true fleward, but from the weight and intereft he has got by it at a general election. What Jew deals larger than many of our nobility in the stocks and in lottery tickets? And, perhaps, one should not find more bulls and bears at Jonathan's than at Arthur's. If you cannot, at this laft place, infure your houfe from fire, or a fhip from the danger of the feas, or the French, you may get largely underwrit on lives, and infure your own against that of your mother or grandmother for any fum whatsoever. There are those who deal as greatly in this practice of putting one life against another as any underwriter in the city of London: and, indeed, the end of infuring is lefs anfwered by the latter than the former; for the prudent citizen will not fet his name to any policy, where the perfon to be infured is not in perfect health; while the merchants at St, James's, who infure by means of bets inftead of policies, will pay you any fum whatsoever, if a man dies that is run through the body, fhot through the head, or has tumbled off his chair in an apoplexy; for as there are perfons who will lay on either fide, he who wants to insure need only choofe that which answers his purpose. And as to the dealings of these merchants of fashion in annuities upon lives, we often hear that one fells his whole eftate, for his life, to another; and there is no other form of conveyance used between the buyer and feller, than by fhuffling a pack of cards, or throwing a pair of dice: but I cannot look upon this fort of traffic in any other light than that, when a condemned felon fells his own body to a furgeon to be anatomifed.

[ocr errors]

After

After all, there is no branch of trade that is ufually extended fo far, and has fuch a variety in it, as gaming; whether we confider it as carried on by cards, dice, horfe-racing, pitting, betting, &c. &c. &c. Thefe merchants deal in very various commodities, and do not feem to be very anxious in general about any difference in value, when they are striking a bargain: for, though fome expect ready money for ready money when they play, as they would blood for blood in a duel, many, very many, part with their ready money to thofe who deal upon truft, nay oftentimes to those who are known to be incapable of paying. Sometimes i have seen a gentleman bet his gold with a lady who has earrings, bracelets, and other diamonds to anfwer her take: but I have much oftener feen a lady play against a roll of guineas, with nothing but her virtue to part with to preferve her honour if the loft. The markets, in which the multiplicity of bufinefs of this kind is tranfacted, are very many, and are chiefly appropriated to that end and no other, fuch as routs, affemblies, Arthur's, Newmarket, and the courfes in every county. Where thefe merchants trade in ready money only, or in banknotes, I confider them as bankers of quality; where, in ready money against truft, and notes of hand of perfons that are but little able to pay, they must be broken merchants: and whoever plays with money against a lady's jewels, fhould, in my mind, hang out the Three Blue Bails in a private alley; and the lady who ftakes her virtue for gold, fhould take the house of a late venerable matron in the Piazza, to carry on her trade in that place.

But it is with pleasure I fee our merchants of quality neglecting feveral branches of trade that have been carried on with fuccefs, and in which great fortunes have been railed in former times by fome of their anceltors. What immenie fums have, we know, been got by fome great men in the fmuggling trade! And we have heard of large profits being made by the fale of commiffions in the army and navy; by procuring places and penfions; and valt fums received for quartering a lord's fifter, nephew, or natural fon on any one who holds a profitable poft under the government. Smuggling, furely, fhould be left to our good friends on the shores of Kent and Suflex; and I think, he who fells commiffions in the navy or army, the free-gifts of the prince, should fuffer like a deierter,

[blocks in formation]

To difplay the leaft fymptom of learning, or to feem to know more than your footman, is become an offence against the rules of politeness, and is branded with the name of pedantry and ill-breeding. The very found of a Roman or a Grecian name, or a hard name, as the ladies call it, though their own perhaps are harder by half, is enough to difconcert the temper of a dozen counteffes, and to strike a whole affembly of fine gentlemen dumb with amazement.

This tqueamishness of theirs is owing to their averfion to pedantry, which they underftand to be a fort of multinefs that can only be contracted in a reclufe and a ftudious life, and a foible peculiar to men of letters. But if a ftrong attachment to a particular fubject, a total ignorance of every other, an eagerness to introduce that fubject upon all occafions, and a confirmed habit of declaiming upon it without either wit or difcretion, be the marks of a pedantic character, as they certainly are, it belongs to the illiterate as well as the learned; and St. James's itfelf may boaft of producing as arrant pedants as were ever fent forth from a college.

I know a woman of fathion who is perpetually employed in remarks upon the weather, who oblerves from morning to noon that it is likely to rain, and from noon to night that it fpits, that it miles, that it is iet in for a wet evening; and, being incapable of any other difcourfe, is as iapid a companion, and juft as pedantic, as ne who quotes Ariftotle over his tea, or talks Greek at a card-table.

A gentleman of my acquaintance is a conftant a tendant upon parliamentary bufinefs, and I have heard him entertain a large circle, by the hour, with the fpeeches that were made in a debate upon mum and perry. He has a wonderful memory, and a kind of oratorical tune in his elocution, that ferves him instead of an emphasis. By thofe means he has acquired the repu

tation of having a deal to fay for himself; but as it confifts entirely of what others have faid for themselves before him, and if he should be deaf during the feffions, he would certainly be dumb in the intervals, I muft needs fet him down for a pedant.

But the most troublesome, as well as moft dangerous character of this fort that I am fo unhappy as to be connected with, is a ftripling, who spends his whole life in a fencing-school. This athletic young pedant is, indeed, a most formidable creature; his whole conversation lies in Quart and Tierce; if you meet him in the street, he falutes you in the gymnaftic manner, throws himself back upon his left hip, levels his cane at the pit of your ftomach, and looks as fierce as a prize-fighter. In the midst of a difcourfe upon politics, he ftarts from the table on a fudden, and fplits himself into a monftrous lounge again the wainscot; immediately he puts a foil into your hand, infils upon teaching you his murthering thruft, and if, in the course of his inftructions, he pushes out an eye or a fore-tooth, he tells you, that you flapp'd your point, or dropp'd your wrist, and im putes all the mifchief to the awkwardness of his pupil.

The mufical pedant, who, inftead of attending to the difcourfe, diverts himself with humming an air, or, if he speaks, expreffes himfelf in the language of the orcheftra; the Newmarket pedant, who has no knowledge but what he gathers upon the turf; the female pedant, who is an adept in nothing but the patterns of filks and flounces; and the coffee-houfe pedant, whose whole erudition lies within the margin of a newspaper, are nuifances fo extremely common, that it is almoft unneceffary to mention them. Yet, pedants as they are, they fhelter themselves under the fashionableness of their foible, and, with all the properties of the character, generally escape the imputation of it. In my opinion, however, they deferve our cenfure more than the mereft book-worm imaginable. The man of letters is ufually confined to his ftudy, and having but little pleasure in converfing with men of the world, does not often intrude himself into their company: these unlearned pedants, on the contrary, are to be met with every where; they have nothing to do but to run about and be troublefome, and are univerfally the bane of agreeable converfation. I am, Sir, &c.

B. Thornton.

§ 135. A Sunday in the Country. Sir, Aug. 8, 1761. As life is fo fhort, you will agree with me, that we cannot afford to lofe any of that precious time, every moment of which fhould be employed in fuch gratifications as are fuitable to our stations and difpofitions. For this reason we cannot but lament, that the year should be curtailed of almost a seventh part, and that, out of three hundred and fixty-five days, fifty-two of them fhould be allotted, with respect to many perfons, to dullness and infipidity. You will eafily conceive, that, by what I have faid, I allude to that enemy to all mirth and gaiety, Sunday, whose impertinent intrufion puts a check on our amufements, and casts a gloom over our cheerful thoughts. Perfons, indeed, of high fashion regard it no more than the other part of the week, and would no more be reftrained from their pleasures on this day, than they would keep faft on a fast-day; but others, who have the fame tafte and spirit, though less fortumes, are constrained, in order to fave appearances, to debar themfelves of every amufement except that of going to church, which they can only enjoy in common with the vulgar. The vulgar, it is true, have the happy privilege of converting this holy-day into a day of extraordinary feftivity; and the mechanic is allowed to get drunk on this day, if on no other, because he has nothing else to do. It is true, that the citizen on this day gets loose from his counter, to which he had been faftened all the reft of the week like a bad fhilling, and riots in the luxuries of Iflington or Mile-end. But what shall be faid of those who have no business to follow but the bent of their inclinations? on whofe hands, indeed, all the days of their life would hang as heavy as Sundays, if they were not enlivened by the dear variety of amusements and diverfions. How can a woman of any spirit pass her time on this dismal day, when the play-houfes, and Vauxhall, and Ranelagh, are shut, and no places of public meeting are open, but the churches? I talk not of those in higher life, who are fo much above the world, that they are out of the reach of its cenfures; I mean those who are confined in a narrower sphere, fo as to be obliged to pay fome regard to reputation. But if people in town have reafon to complain of this weekly bar put upon their pleasures, how unhappy muft they be who are immured in the old manfion-house in the country, and

cloistered

matism; fhe has therefore put on her fpectacles, ordered the great family-bible into the hall, and is going to read prayers herfelf to the fervants. I excused myself from being prefent, by pretending an head-ach, and ftole into my clofet in order to divert myself in writing to you. How I fhall be able to go through the rest of the day, I know not; as the rain, I believe, will not fuffer us to ftir out, and we shall fit moping and yawning at one another, and looking ftupidly at the rain out of the Gothic window in the little parlour, like the clean and unclean beafts in Noah's ark. It is faid, that the gloomy weather in November induces Englishmen commonly to make away with themfelves; and, indeed, confidering the weather, and all together, I believe I fhall be tempted to drown myself at once in the pond before the door, or fairly tuck myself up in my own garters. I am your very humble fervant, DOROTHY THURSDAY. B. Thornton.

cloistered up (as it were) in a nunnery? This is my hard cafe: my aunt, who is a woman of the laft age, took me down with her this fummer to her house in Northamptonshire; nor fhall I be releafed from my prifon till the time of the coronation, which will be as joyful to me as the act of grace to an infolvent debtor. My time, however, is fpent agreeably enough, as far as any thing can be agreeable in the country, as we live in a good neighbourhood, fee a good deal of company, pay a good many vifits, and are near enough Altrop-Wells for me to play at cards at all the public breakfastings, and to dance at the affemblies. But, as I told you, my aunt is an old-fashioned lady, and has got queer notions of I know not what. I dread nothing fo much as the coming round of Sunday, which is fure to prove, to me at least, a day of penance and mortification. In the morning we are dragged, in the old family coach, to the parish-church, not a stone's throw off the house, for grandeur-sake; and, though I drefs me ever fo gay, the ignorant bumkins take no more notice of me than they do of my aunt, who is muffled up to the chin. At dinner we never fee a creature but the parfon, who never fails coming for his customary fee of roaftbeef and plumb-pudding; in the afternoon the fame dull work of church-going is rerepeated; and the evening is as melancholy as it is to a criminal who is to be executed the next morning. When I first came down, I propofed playing a game at whift, and invited the doctor to make a fourth; but my aunt looked npon the very mention of it as an abomination. I thought there could be no harm in a little innocent mufic; and therefore, one morning, while fhe was getting ready for church, I began to tune my guitar, the found of which quickly brought her down stairs, and fhe vowed the would break it all to pieces, if I was fo wicked as to touch it; though I offered to compromise the matter with her, by playing nothing but pfalm-tunes to pleafe her. I hate reading any thing, but especially good books, as my aunt calls them, which are dull at any time, but much duller on a Sunday; yet my aunt wonders I will not employ myself, when I have nothing to do, in reading Nelfon on the Feafts and Fafts, or a chapter in the Bible. You must know, that the day I write this on is Sunday; and it happens to be fo very rainy, that my aunt is afraid to venture herself in the damp church, for fear of encreasing her rheu

$136. On the Militia. Sir, Aug. 9, 1761. The weather here in England is as unfettled and variable as the tempers of the people; nor can you judge, from the appearance of the fky, whether it will rain or hold up for a moment together, any more than you can tell by the face of a man, whether he will lour in a frown, or clear up in a fmile. An unexpected fhower has obliged me to turn into the first inn; and I think I may e'en as well pafs my time in writing for your paper, especially as I have nothing elfe to do, having examined all the prints in the room, read over all the rhymes, and admired all the Dear Misses and Charming Misses on the window-panes.

As I had the honour to pay my fhilling at the ordinary in this town with fome of the officers of the militia, I am enabled to fend you a few thoughts on that fubject. With refpect to the common men, it will be fufficient to obferve, that in many military practices, no body of regulars can poflibly exceed them. Their prowess in marauding is unqueftionable; as they are fare to take prifoners whatever ftragglers they meet with on their march, fuch as geefe, turkies, chickens, &c. and have been often known to make a perfect defart of a farmer's yard. By the bye, it is poffibly on this account, that a turkey bears fo great an antipathy to the colour of red. Thefe fellows are, indeed, fo intrepid, that

they

« PreviousContinue »