TO THREE HUNDRED CHICKS EVERY WEEK. Successful Poultry Farmer. "YOU'D BE SURPRISED WHAT A DIFFERENCE THESE INCUBATORS MAKE. WE CAN HATCH OUT TWO OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. attentive audience. Moreover, Dr. DILLON has had the good wit to secure for his book an introduction by the Man (By Mr. Punch's Staff of Learned Clerks.) of the Moment-need I explain that this means Mr. W. M. IF the authors of The Wind's Will (CASSELL) had been HUGHES? Short, trenchant and admirably expressed, this able to keep up the captivating charm of its opening pages, brief appreciation by the Prime Minister of Australia is by I think I should have put it among the most delight- no means the least valuable part of a remarkable book. ful romances that ever I read. And even though there Dr. DILLON, of course, writes about the affairs of Europe happened inevitably some little decline from the first with the authority of intimate and personal contact. As buoyancy, it remains a most fragrant and happy tale, the Mr. HUGHES well says, he "knows those who lead the best thing certainly, to my mind, that AGNES and EGERTON warring nations in this titanic conflict very much better CASTLE have yet given us. The scene of it is Paris, after than ordinary men know their own townsmen." And Waterloo, and the protagonists are Captain Geoffrey Swifte because of this knowledge he has many things to say that (later, through unlooked for bereavements, my Lord Maldon), will perhaps startle some of us, even now, to hear. He is his proud and calculating cousin, Augusta, and Colinette, the no prophet of smooth things. In particular, the craft of peasant daughter of a flower farm at St. Cloud. Add to the enemy, his strength and his tremendous driving power these Augusta's chosen suitor, Sir John Armeston, and a towards a long-planned end, are all fully understood by the delightful young-hearted old lady, the Dowager Lady Maldon, writer. Read his story of the years of German foundationand you have not only the entire cast, but also, to an experi- laying. Read the chapters upon past and present Italian enced reader, the plot as well. At first I thought to myself policy. It may be-indeed it is inevitable-that not everywhat a jolly costume-comedy the book would make. But one will agree with all the writer's deductions; but no one then again I thought no, seeing that the material of it is can deny that his book is a profoundly stimulating one, if not so new but that, removed from the fresh breeze that only (again to quote Mr. HUGHES) as "keying all men to a blows through the telling, it might show a considerable sense of the great events in which we are taking part." deal of dust. But that wind, and the scent and movement and frolic of it, constitute nothing less than a triumph for the clever authors, upon which (holding on to my hat the while) I make them my best congratulatory bow. It is rare enough to meet in a modern novel a group consisting entirely of quiet pleasant people; much rarer, it would seem, than in real life, which is nothing like so drab as it is now commonly painted; rare enough indeed Of the European publicists whom the War has made to be something of a treat. Contrary Mary (DUCKWORTH), familiar to English readers, the name of no one carries by TEMPLE BAILEY, contrives this air of general goodwill more authority than that of Dr. E. J. DILLON. Therefore without being too dull. Mary is a nice young thing of such a volume as he has just issued, Ourselves and Germany Washington, U.S.A. Rich red-headed Peter loves her. So (CHAPMAN AND HALL), is certain beforehand of a large and does iron-grey-headed decently-poor Roger, who has already been a husband and a clergyman without much success in mild boom in heroes of humble origin, and George Darrell either part. Mary is out for independence, so it be seasoned is another, and a striking, example of the kind. In all his by the perpetual prospect of eager men kept waiting around efforts to repair the world I can follow him with ease, but hungering to be allowed to take care of her a maiden, I am compelled to add that his love-affairs, and especially in short, of the have-it-both-ways brigade. Mary doesn't the one that ended in his marriage, leave me a little approve of failure, so Roger, his soul tempered by her incredulous. Indeed, it is only because of incidents which bright eyes, takes up his old mission - work in a new are out of keeping with the lofty theme of the main story environment, and this time wins out. Peter, lapsing un- that I am prevented from hailing The World-Mender as a accountably from his reputation as a decent sort, behaves triumphant success. At the worst we have here a harvest badly before he behaves well again, and everybody takes of thought in which the wheat is a far more robust growth Roger's harmless little past much too seriously. Every- than the weeds. body of course includes Roger himself, who is of the tribe that obstinately reserves its defence till the penultimate chapter and has a honeymoon in the last. Such is the end ordained for him in the company of a Mary duly converted out of contrariness. A wholesome little pleasantry altogether. What Miss MILLS YOUNG really needs is a candid friend, someone who, having first earned the right to be believed by saying frankly some things she really ought to be told, could go on to enjoy the luxury of making a number of very pleasant remarks with the more authority. In regard to The Bywonner (LANE) he would begin, I imagine, by pronouncing that the plot of the story is a little weak and scattered; that he, at any rate, is tired of hearing of poor but beautiful Adelas led astray by deceiving villains; further, that he cannot help feeling that a hero whose love, however faithful in itself, lands him in too good a thing financially on the last page drops a little of his romance; and finally, that while lots of writers can moralise prettily and even at considerable length Miss MILLS YOUNG is not one of the very few who can put much novelty and charm into that process. If Romance really means the impossible actions and unlikely words of highly improbable people, then is The Flower of Sleep (PAUL), by Dr. J. MORGAN-DE-GROOT, indeed romantic It would appear that Catherine, only daughter of Colonel Covington, R. A. M.C. (alleged on the very slenderest evidence to be a specialist in sleeping sickness), went to bathe in a lonely Afric pool, and after her bath carelessly fell asleep in her canoe (and in absolutely nothing else) under the full glare of a tropical sun; and, as it happened, under the eye of Kar-rar, warrior chief of an undiscovered tribe of excellent Phoenician stock. This light-brown worthy, an idealist with a dream that his race is destined to become quite white, drugs the fair maiden with the Flower of Sleep, found passim in those parts, and carries her off to his kraal. Thence a popular aviator, who, doing a Cape to Cairo trip, has engine trouble just in that darkest corner of the Dark Continent, promptly rescues and as promptly marries her; only to find to his annoyance that her firstborn is not his but the child of Kar-rar. On all of which and much more to as unlikely THE CLIMATE. Jones. "HULLO, BROWN! GRAND WEATHER. TENNIS RACKETS?" GOT YOUR Brown (stung). "No-SNOW-SHOES!"' Literary Intelligence. "Q.-Will you kindly insert in your column the name of the author and publisher of The Sparrows of Satan'?-Fred M. A. The author is Marie Cornelli."-Saskatoon Star (Canada). Having done his duty in these matters the candid friend effect, Kar-rar-ah-boomdeay! seems a reasonable comment. could then begin to refer to the characterisation of the author's people, not one of whom is the least bit a peg on which to hang an atmosphere, and to the easy simplicity with which she contrives to create that satisfying impression of a South Africa as it really is which one has always associated with her work. One feels of all her characters, not only the Bywonner himself, the "poorwhite" no-good Englishman, but of his son and ill-fated daughter and of everybody in the little circle whose lives they touch, that a real person is being renewed, not manufactured, in these pages; and this in a setting of local colour which impresses without ever becoming burden some. The World-Mender (HUTCHINSON) is, as the title suggests, an ambitious novel. We move in an atmosphere of politics, and those of us, at any rate, who are immeasurably weary of perfervid politicians will rejoice that MAXWELL GRAY'S motto, as far as she has one, is "let your moderation be known to all men." There seems just now to be a "The Acting Governor mentioned the generous offer of the International Health Assn. to send an expert and staff to Fiji to combat the Tootworm disease."-The Fiji Times. We are sorry to hear that the crawling taxi has got to Fiji. "And that ain't all.' He was so much in earnest that he forgot to correct his grammer." Somebody else seems to have been so much in earnest that he forgot to correct his spelling. By the side of this souvenir is a collecting box, in which contributions may be dropped to assist wounded sailors. Eggs are accepted also."- Provincial Paper. Hard-boiled, we trust. An unprecedented sum has just been paid for a Welsh manuscript of the works of that famous "manufacturer of English history," GEOFFREY of Monmouth. The fact that after for rheumatism is to have the teeth ing, if we may believe the statement of ** * * An evening paper directs attention to In a report of Lord D'ABERNON'S a Shakspearean performance given at speech at the opening of the Gretna Spetchley Park, Worcester, in a garden Tavern The Manchester Guardian in which many of the plants and states that " the insufficiency of the flowers mentioned by Shakspeare are existing facilities for obtaining refreshto be found." Of even greater interest, ments owing to the presence of thou THE RULING PASSION. Barber. "SPRAY, SIR?" sands of new yorkers in the district was the principal reason, he said, why the Board had initiated the scheme." It is odd that no comment should have been provoked in the Press by this invasion of thirsty Americans. "Allies stormed the village of Hem, and captured the farm of Monacu, with 433 prisoners." Evening Despatch (Birmingham). This disposes of the notion that no quarter was allowed. "God Almighty steeled your arms and kept your eyes clear, but I, your supreme Word Lord, thank you from the bottom of my heart in the name of the Fatherland." Auckland Star (N.Z.). Quite the most apt name the KAISER has yet given himself. Signs of brewing trouble, especially among the Slavs and in the Magyar districts, have become noticeable. The Hungarian Press is irritated and full of bitter allusions." The Times. These bitter allusions are common in cases of brewing trouble. "It is a lurid comment on our dealings with our heroes that in the twenty-fourth month of the year it should be necessary for local Authori all these years another distinguished if we may say so, would be a definite ties to press the Chancellor of the Welshman is working in the same assurance from the same authoritative Exchequer."-Evening Paper. It is also a sad commentary upon dayline of goods probably accounts for source that the sun mentioned by the extreme interest shown in the sale. SHAKSPEARE shone on the entertain- light saving. ** ment. An applicant for the exemption of his son informed the Tribunal that he We are informed by The Daily Sketch himself had grown so corpulent that he that a pension of £1 per week has been was unable to crawl inside ovens, and assigned to the oldest citizen of Czernothat this part of the work had now to vitz, aged 166, who "remembers the be done by the younger man. An in- end of the Napoleonic wars"; and that genious but unsuccessful attempt was special precautions have been taken to made by the Military Representative to protect him and his daughter, aged 90, secure the dismissal of the appeal on from all the turmoils of war. We unthe grounds that the son would be derstand that the daughter inherits better employed in serving his country her father's marvellous memory and as a "pull-through." can recall events that happened when she was 65. ** According to counsel in the Bow County Court, "the best known cure VOL. CLI. Germany will not lack men during the summer campaign but the best element is the 1817 class which will not go far to make good the losses in the approaching struggle.' Calcutta Englishman. These veterans have wonderful staying power, but fortunately there cannot be very many of them. decreasing, French cases last week numbering "At Birmingham the measles epidemic is 291, against 303 in the previous week." Morning Paper. We tender thanks to a large number of correspondents who have called attention to the above passage with the remark that we seem to have got rid Signs of reprisal are already appear- of the German variety. E THE ARCH-PRIEST. THRICE Welcome, KAISER, to the battle's rear, For we have proved that, just when you expect And things go worse than ever. Nor do we fear your fancy's latest flight, When, with a travelling pulpit for a perch, You teach your chaplains (dressing by the right) The doctrines of a Prusso-Christian Church; Showing, by your own pure ideal of war Where love alone must triumph, how the Sermon Preached on the Mount might well be taken for The utterance of a German. "The devil was sick; the devil a monk would be;" But till he felt that horrid ache inside He took no interest in the rosary Or knotted cords to corrugate his hide; Now you repent and take a pious dope, And give your bands a rest from hymns of hate, And bid your priests renew their faith and hope, And all in saintly language-two years late; For God, remembering, turns His face away From lips that with their high vows loosely palter, Nor takes from unclean hands the gift they lay Upon His holy altar. HEART-TO-HEART TALKS. O. S. (TSAR FERDINAND OF BULGARIA and the SULTAN OF TURKEY.) Ferdinand. Yes, there's no doubt of it, MEHMED, old man, things are looking very queer. The Sultan. Oh, don't say that, FERDINAND. You can't have a notion how uncomfortable you make me feel. Ferdinand. Well, you can figure it out for yourself. It isn't my saying so that makes things queer; it's the things themselves that are queer, and you and I may just as well realise it while there's time. The Sultan. Oh dear, oh dear, what shall we do? Do you think it's any good having a word with FRANCIS JOSEPH or the German All-Highest? They might be able to suggest something. Ferdinand. Not they. They've got their hands as full as they can hold. As for FRANCIS JOSEPH, he's absolutely dead to the world, and everybody except himself knows it. You can't keep on losing I don't know how many thousands of prisoners and hundreds of guns and miles and miles of territory, and then ask people to believe that you're doing it all because you want to, and because that's the new patent way of winning battles. People are mostly fools, but they 're not such fools as all that, you know. The Sultan. But there's our friend WILLIAM. He might help. Certainly he was full of promises when he got us to join in. Turkey was to have all her ancient splendour; the Russians were to be smashed into pulp; and Turkey and Germany were to be the arbiters of the world. Ferdinand. Funny, isn't it? That's exactly what he said to me, changing the word "Turkey" for the word "Bulgaria." The Sultan. And what have I got out of it? Not a thing except hard knocks everywhere and the privilege of looking after those two rotten German ships, the Goeben and the Breslau. I could have built a new palace for the money they've cost me in repairs alone. Every time they put out they get a smashing. I'm getting tired of the whole business. Ferdinand. So am I, but I don't see any way out of it just yet. Do you? The Sultan. No, I don't-unless I could manage to get rid of ENVER. Of course I might order him off to Armenia, but I doubt if he'd go. He doesn't seem to like the Russians. Ferdinand. Well, we've all got our dislikes. I myself don't much like the French and English. The Sultan. And I don't like the Germans. The Sultan. No; some of us were afraid of them, that's all. Ferdinand. And now we're not even afraid of them, are we? The Sultan. Not a bit. Ferdinand. Well then, if we both feel like that, let's get out of it. Let's tell old FRANCIS JOSEPH and WILLIAM that we've changed our minds. The Sultan. Yes, let's. Ferdinand. Very well. There's no time like the present. The Sultan. No, none. Will you write? Ferdinand. I think on the whole it would come better from you. It wouldn't sound so harsh in Turkish. The Sultan. I rather thought they'd take it more kindly if it came in Bulgarian. WILLIAM's a very angry man, anyhow. Ferdinand. Yes, doesn't he try to shout people down. I can't bear these blustering fellows; and he's always so religious, too. The Sultan. That's no good with me, and he knows it. Ferdinand. Why should we write at all? Let's just gradually do it. The Sultan. Do what? Ferdinand. Get out of our alliance with him. We can't be worse off with the other lot, can we ? The Sultan. No, and we might be much better. Ferdinand. It'll make things highly unpleasant for WILLIAM, but he's only got himself to thank for that. The Sultan. Yes; he oughtn't to have tried to deceive us. "Dr. Ohnesorg": an Explanation. This name, which recently appeared in one of Mr. Punch's Heart-to-Heart Talks,' was a pure invention of the author. The contents of the article abundantly German inspector of prisoners' camps-could not possibly prove that the Ohnesorg who appears there a brutal be intended for the American doctor of the same name who But in case there has been among Americans any misapprehas done notable service in the cause of British prisoners. hension as to the author's intentions, Mr. Punch desires to express his regret for this strange coincidence, and to hope that the real Dr. OHNESORG has treated it with the insouciance which is indicated by his name. "The recent cool weather is attributed largely to the excellent bill of health of the city."-Birmingham Daily Mail. Still, it seems a little hard that London should freeze in order that Birmingham may flourish. "The Danish story of German naval activity in the Baltic is likely enough; let us hope that British submarines are at the bottom of it." Evening Post (Wellington, N.Z.). We hope so too; but not permanently. |