leave them to certain destruction-well, what possible young wife who was just waiting for a chance to spread embroidery of words can be of use for this? There will be herself. On arriving in India she committed a series of bright eyes and tight lips over that story; and for the indiscretions which made her husband very tired of her. I heroes of it their only adequate reward, deep down in many fancy that we are intended to sympathise with the har generous young hearts. A most timely book.

assed General, but when a middle-aged man, with ample experience both of India and matrimony, marries an underIn William by the Grace of God (METHUEN), that capable bred woman, I cannot help thinking that he is asking for romancer, Miss MARJORIE BOWEN, gives us a study of the trouble and deserves to have his request granted. Mrs. great WILLIAM who wrested the independence of the Nether- Bruce eventually decided to attach herself to a young cavalry lands from that prince of fanatics, PHILIP II. of Spain. As officer called Lord Marling, and freely discussed arrangeto how closely she has followed her documents she is frankly ments for the flitting. There was indeed no situation a better judge than I. It seems to me that her fidelity to under heaven that she was not prepared to discuss, but the letter has a little cramped her flamboyant spirit, which she amazed me-hardened though I was by now against is as great a proof of general honesty as could well be given. her garrulity-when she chose to discuss her future plans Her William is a portrait of such a kind that it is not with the General himself. This, for all I know, may be ridiculous to call him a great man. The subsidiary love epi- the right way of embarking upon such adventures, but sodes are pleasantly done. Miss BOWEN creates a plausible here it was not a success. The General contrived to peratmosphere of battle and intrigue, save that perhaps the suade her that a flight with Marling would end in disaster, manœuvres of her princes, cardinals and Jesuits in the and so she is left as wife to a man who quite obviously matter of removing enemies are a little crude. By the did not want her. It is fair to add that the dialogue is way, Jesuits never had a habit of furnishing their rooms natural and often amusing, and that the children are with tables of ebony and malachite, nor are they governed by "regents." It's worth while getting the local colour right, however unconquerable one's prejudices may be. Miss BOWEN gives the impression of being steeped in her subject, but I can't sufficiently admire her impenitently modern habit of splitting any stray infinitive at sight without quarter.

Mr. ALGERNON BLACKWOOD last March went near to convincing me that something serious lay behind his eyes which he was trying to get across to his readers, and wasn't

sympathetically treated.

When a book as mild and virtuous as W. RILEY'S The Way of the Winepress (JENKINS) comes into my hands I stifle criticism by telling myself that it will interest and possibly elevate a multitude of people with literary tastes which do not happen to be mine. When first we meet Louis Turner, who tells the tale, he is tramping along the road with a bundle too heavy for him, a mother and a limp. They are overtaken by a man in a carriage, who then and afterwards gives them a lift. Louis, like all good young heroes, is bent on improving himself, and his ambitions succeed so well that ultimately he marries his benefactor's charming niece. And he deserved his good fortune; for if at times I was a little troubled by his priggishness there is no doubt whatever that he was very, very good. But before we reach the happy ending not only had much misery befallen the benefactor, but I too had suffered from having to absorb more moral lessons than I could comfortably digest.

Owner of piano (to man who has made an initial bid of two shillings). "'ERE, WOT D'YER THINK YOU'RE BIDDIN' FOR A MOUTH-ORGAN?

merely working a device. The Wave (MACMILLAN) Sweeps me back again into a doubting mood. Here once more there are three folk who have met in a previous existence. It is Tom Kelverdon, engineer, who from boyhood is threatened by a Wave (which, of course, is not quite a wave), accompanied by a Whiff and a Sound and two pairs of eyes, one very sweet and the other very cruel. Two of the eyes were the eyes of Lettice; the other two, blue and cruel, of Tony, a philandering naturalist who came between the lovers, as, many centuries ago in Egypt, a blue-eyed Theban General, married to a former incarnation of Lettice, came between his wife and her Syrian slave who couldn't keep his place. Lettice also had her visions of a river of floating faces which she apparently was destined to fish out of danger. It seems all very confused, and the author when in difficulty is always riding off on his three steeds, Somehow, Somewhat and Somewhere... What I do feel is that Mr. BLACKWOOD needs as a mental discipline to write a straightforward story without pseudo-psychic manifestations and keep it in one century-o1 rs for choice.

I have read novels by Miss M. HAMILTON which would compare very favourably with The General's Wife (PAUL). General Bruce, a widower with two children, married a

44

In some fine passages as the climax approaches the actor rises silent bathos of the stricken father affords a striking contrast." to great heights of passionate declamation, to which the succeeding Daily Paper.

We have seen plays in which the bathos had not even the redeeming feature of silence.

Bahamas hemp, more commonly known as sisal, showed a satisfactory increase of over £26,000, due entirely to the unrest in Mexico."-Financial Times.

The revolutionists have certainly had an extraordinary amount of rope from the American Government.

A clairvoyant who informed a client that she saw her (the client's) husband in khaki with a red band on his collar," the actual fact being that the husband is employed in a store, was recently fined at a London police court. In justice to the Staff we hasten to say that it was not a libel action.

**
*

The price of cockles has been raised from fourpence to sixpence a pint at Leigh-on-Sea, and as a first step towards economy the managers of our leading West-end restaurants have decided to remove this delicacy from

their menus.

**

Officer (to Tommy, who has broken every rule of the hospital).

REALISE THAT THERE'S A WAR ON."

type at the front-men who can deceive
the enemy by looking to the rear during
the course of an advance.

**

"YOU DON'T SEEM TO

vide Biffs for the Cabinet, the War Office, the Admiralty, the Tribunals, and all contractors, naturalized Germans and conscientious Radicals.

**
*

It is complained by the dramatic critic of The Times that as Pierrot in The German Government has decided the new wordless play Mr. NORMAN that in the future a specially trained MCKINNEL "leaves his eminently ex- professional journalist shall be an intepressive countenance unfloured." There gral feature of their diplomatic estabare however a lot of people who think, lishments. This, it is expected, will do with Mr. MCKINNEL, that in these days away for ever with the unworthy susof national economy the slight sacri- picion entertained in certain neutral fice of artistic effect is amply justified quarters that a German diplomatist by the saving in the most important prefers to do his own lying. constituent of the staff of life.

**

**

According to a contemporary a system Ten thousand sets of the popular of Juvenile Boards has been established A man told the Middlesex Tribunal game, "Biff," have been furnished by in Germany to deal with the increasing that as the result of an accident his the Red Cross Society to our wounded number of young offenders. We ourhead goes round and can only be soldiers, and we have it on good selves continue to prefer the strap, brought back into position by an effort authority that a distinguished news- which makes less noise than a board of strength. We want more of this paper proprietor is preparing to pro-and is just as effective.

"IT IS THE CAUSE."

I TOOK a flat in Whitehall Land Whence I could watch with native pride

The bridge of Charing Cross that
spanned,

A thing of grace, the admiring tide;
Commanding also, from its rear,
The effigy of BARTLE FRERE.
And when above the trammy marge
My open casement wooed the breeze
And faint from many a seaward barge
Floated the gay and ribald wheeze,
Something I can't say clearly what-
Recalled The Lady of Shalott.

Fair was the prospect (few, I ween,
So smile upon a Cockney's gaze),
And best at evening when the scene
Included Phoebus' final rays
Reflected in the wharves that flank
The mud upon the Surrey bank.
And now on my astonied eyes,
And flush with my protesting nose,

Behold a sudden street arise

Of Governmental bungalows,
Like to the gourd that in a night
Rose on the prophet's staggered sight.
Here, posted by the humorous Powers,
Masses of Transport Service scribes
Will dream away the laggard hours
And interchange familiar gibes,
Being paid-with War-taxes, tco-
my
To sit and block my river view.
With miles of local golfing links
And wastes of park in which to herd
The Great Uncombed, the flapper minx,
Official cussedness preferred
To waive all eligible sites
And intercopt my Ancient Lights.
But do I murmur? No, not I.
A sense of Transport in the air
Uplifts my patriot soul-I fly

To seek a less congested lair,
Proud of the Cause, and greatly cheered
To have my scenery commandeered.

O. S.

TEN MINUTES IN GERMANY.

THE CURTAIN LIFTED.
AMAZING REVELATIONS.

(With apologies to a certain neutral.)

I. How I GOT IN.

mid-ocean to a sailing vessel, landed | at, and two nights later was on

the German frontier at

I had chosen the loneliest spot on the whole boundary. It was so lonely that you could pretty near hear yourself think. For some hours I lay flat GETTING inside Germany when on my stomach, peering through my you're outside Germany isn't dead telescope, spectroscope, microscope, easy these times. Getting outside periscope and kaleidoscope. I also Germany when you 're inside, but sounded myself with my stethoscope. were formerly cutside, would just tickle I saw and heard nothing. There was an insurance company to death. as a matter of fact absolutely nothing to see, for it was one of those nights on which old Count ZEPP had not only painted out the moon, but had also pulled down the safety curtain over the Milky Way.

I'd brought off the double event three times before. Once I just stepped over the frontier, remembered a pressing engagement in Sunnyville, Ohio, and stepped back. Next time I'd put in about five seconds in Hunland when I decided to dig myself in. Although I got a hurry call to go to China to no sound broke that awful silence, I see a man about a dog. And on the knew that less than two hundred miles third occasion I stayed nearly half-a-away guns were roaring, shells burstminute, by which time I'd found the local lager unpalatable. So I quit. Then the Duke of Ludgate Circus asked me to make a fourth sally to study the flora and fauna.

"Duke," said I, "these three trips have made me a marked man. It's a tough proposition."

ing, bullets flying. In that utter quiet, where reither bird sang nor commissionaire whistled for taxi-cab, I could truly sense the meaning of war. All that night I spent in making a dugout, in which I lay doggo throughout the following day.

When dark fell I arrayed myself in Whereupon the Duke just handed the costume of a peasant of the me a blank cheque, a loaf of standard Bolivian Andes, and swallowed a hunk bread, and told me to get a move on. of my standard loaf. Then, carrying Previously I had got into Germany a Japanese passport, a Mexican regisfrom — by way of crossing tration card and a Peruvian birth the frontier at and recrossing it certificate in one hand and the remains at. This time I was taking no of the standard loaf in the otherrisks. this last alone, I felt certain, would ensure me a warm welcome-I took the great step. And even as I crawled across the frontier I made my first amazing discovery.

The whitewashed boundary line was

news for the

I booked a passage to San Francisco, burnt the tickets, and booked to Shanghai. Arrived at Shanghai, I disguised myself as a Mandarin of the Second Class, took out a Chinese passport, and sailed for Valparaiso. Next I scarcely visible! travelled up and down North and I shook from head to foot with South America, collecting passports, excitement. A shortage of whitewash letters of introduction and impenetrable in Germany! Proof positive before disguises. Finally I got into the Arctic my eyes! Here was Circle, where I shipped in a whaler Duke! for Leith. From Leith I walked After shaking with excitement for to Manchester, cycled to Potter's a considerable time I resumed my A Competition in Profundity. Bar, and drove in a four-wheeler advance. Suddenly a dark mass loomed From a concert programme :into London. Here I lay perdu for up before me. Seizing my penknife, I "Miss Dorothy will sing Deep in my three days. On the fourth I made a began to dig myself in, swiftly and Heart. Mr. Ben will sing Deeper and dash for the nearest Underground silently. Then a light gleamed through station and travelled continuously for the darkness and 1 saw before me a six hours over the entire system. At small building. times I crawled stealthily through subways, hid behind automatic machines, or lurked in lifts. Late one night I slipped down to the Embankment and swam backwards and forwards across the Thames for two hours, afterwards taking train to Liverpool, whence I sailed for New York. Here I stayed a week, changing my residence and disdisguise every three hours. Then I booked

Deeper Still.'"-Liverpool Echo.

6

"Wexford Agricultural Committee, by resolution, declared that sows held for the purpose of improving live stock and produce, and encouraging utility and neatness amongst cottagers, should be exempt from the enter

tainment tax."—Irish Paper.

Unless of course the sows want to play at frivolous games like "Pigs in Clover."

More War Economy. "At Leeds Assizes Mr. Justice Darling pensed with the usual charge to the Grand Jury."-Westminster Gazette.

In that building I was to find a man whose knowledge of Germany, could it be published throughout the Fatherland, would shake the nails out of HINDENBURG'S statue.

(To be continued.)

"WANTED, Three Days a week." Advt. in "Norwood Press."

a passage to Naples, boarded a tramp A distinct advance upon the Eight bound for Holland, transhipped in Hours' Day.

"There are several ways. One is to crocks, but he wouldn't believe it, so I falsify your income-tax returns." referred him to the Military Repre"But I have been doing that all my sentative." life," said I.

my

UNTAPPED RESOURCES. Sinclair certainly succeeded in giving us a nasty little shock. He has been I began to be rather ashamed of out for some months now, but he didn't "Quite so; but I mean the other way Exchequer Bonds, and I could see that want to talk about the Somme. Neither on, Forman," said Sinclair severely. my wife, who had just come in, was did the Reverend Henry, who was on "Make out your income to be double more than a little puzzled. She has leave at the same time and had come what it is and pay accordingly. Push never quite understood Sinclair. down for the same week-end. What it up to the super-tax level; scorn The Reverend Henry was listening deductions; throw in excess profits. with great attention. "I wish you But there are objections to that plan. would sell me a cigarette, Sinclair," he It is a mistake to tamper with the faith said.

they wanted, perversely, was to talk about finance.

"I see they are now paying six per cent. on Exchequer Bonds," Sinclair had begun.

"Yes," said I (I had just been applying for some). "It's a very good return."

"Disgraceful thing," said Sinclair. "I'm hanged if I see why I (the tax-payer) should pay you (the investor) six per cent. because I need your money for the War."

Why not?" said I.

"Well, there's something wrong somewhere. It's

beastly unpatriotic on your part, Forman, sitting tight and drawing six per cent. It's a foolish, extravagant, modern idea. It wasn't always so. In the old days of ETHEL

of the tax-gatherer. He will never Sinclair handed him his cigarettebelieve you again. And you will have case, took a pound - note out of his pocket, lit it at the fire and offered him a light.

Sinclair was quite unmoved.
"I merely do that by way
of
illustration," he said calmly.
"By that simple act, without
the slightest dislocation of
trade or industry, I have paid
the Treasury the sum of one
pound. It is however open to
you to say that that does not
help this year's revenue. A
more direct course is to destroy
postage stamps, postal orders,
money orders, prepaid tele-
graph forms. Really, if you
come to think of it, there is all
manner of inflammable stuff
about a post-office. Another
form of patriotism, vicarious
and therefore likely to be more
to explain things after the War. It is popular, would be to post your letters
better to take out licences. That I unstamped, and then the fellow at the
have already tried. At this moment I other end would have to pay double.
am in a position to keep, without any The thing is sure to catch on, and the
question being raised, three motors of revenue will come rolling in."
varying horse-power, nine dogs, one
carriage (drawn or adapted to be drawn
by two horses or mules), and seven But, after all, it does look as if there
man-servants. I can also kill game was something in it. I don't feel so
and use armorial bearings. I am, you pleased about my Exchequer Bonds as
will observe, in a very strong position. I used to do.

[News of the "Tanks" has just penetrated to East Africa.]
Nervy Hun. "KAMERAD! KAMERAD!"

war on and ETHELRED wanted money he used to go (unless I am mistaken) to the Treasury and open the lid and grope about inside (with the aid of a candle) till he found it was empty. Then he allowed it to be known that he wanted contributions, and people came and chucked in gold and silver trinkets and poured in coins, and ladies brought their jewels and bracelets and ringsand there you were. There wasn't any question of six per cent."

It was at this point that my wife went away in despair.

wife

"People have sent money direct to MCKENNA," said I. "It can be done." "Oh, yes, I know," said Sinclair impatiently, "cheques payable to the British Empire and all that. They call I am licensed to sell tobacco too, and to Still Sinclair is a silly ass; and he's it conscience-money and the receipt is hawk-though a falcon would scare become much more frivolous since he What we need is a me to death. I didn't get a marriage went to the Front. I believe put in the papers. quiet unobtrusive method of paying licence. They wanted too many par- really thinks he is partly off his head. for the War, suitable for the home ticulars. And I must say I had a lot Just after he left us, he sent her a letter circle. You fellows that are collecting of bother over those seven man-(containing a small chunk of lead) six per cent. are not paying for the servants. The fellow evidently thought without a stamp. Then came one War. You are battening on the War." they ought to be serving. It did look with a palpable penny inside it, on Well, how is it to be done?" said I. rather fishy. I told him they were all which we had to pay a double regis

my