PART WITH MY SON-AMY TURNED OUT.

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that he might be ready to sail in one of his own ships, and take the advantage of an English convoy, which was almost ready to sail. My lord sent several valuable presents to my son's lady, as did her father; and as I was at liberty in this case to do as I would, and knowing my lord had a very great value for my son, I thought that the richer my presents were, the more he would esteem me (but there was nothing in it, the enmity he took against me had taken root in his heart); so I sent her a curious set of china, the very best I could buy, with a silver tea-kettle and lamp, tea-pot, sugar-dish, creampot, tea-spoons, &c., and as my lord had sent a golden repeater, I added to it a golden equipage, with my lord's picture hanging to it, finely painted. (This was another thing I did purposely to please him, but it would not do.) A few days after, he came to take his leave of me, by my lord's order, and at my parting with him I shed abundance of tears, to think I was then in an almost strange place, no child that could then come near me, and under so severe a displeasure of my lord, that I had very little hopes of ever being friends with him again.

My life did not mend after my son was gone, all I could do would not persuade my lord to have any free conversation with me; and at this juncture it was, that the foolish jade, Amy, who was now advanced in years, was catched in a conversation with one of my lord's men, which was not to her credit; for it coming to his ears, she was turned out of the house by my lord's orders, and was never suffered to come into it again, during his lifetime, and I did not dare to speak a word in her favour, for fear he should retort upon me, 'Like mistress like maid.'

I could hear nothing of Amy for the first three months after she had left me, till one day, as I was looking out of a dining-room window, I saw her pass by, but I did not dare ask her to come in, for fear my lord should hear of her being there, which would have been adding fuel to the fire; however, she, looking up at the house, saw me; I made a motion to her to stay a little about the door, and in the meantime, I wrote a note, and dropped it out of the window, in which I told her how I had lived in her absence, and desired her to write me a letter, and carry it the next day to my sempstress's house, who would take care to deliver it to me herself.

I told Isabel that she should let me know when the

milliner came again, for I had some complaints to her about getting up my best suit of Brussels lace night-clothes. On the Saturday following, just after I had dined, Isabel came into my apartment: My lady, says she, the milliner is in the parlour, will you be pleased to have her sent up stairs, or will your ladyship be pleased to go down to her? Why, send her up, Isabel, said I, she is as able to come to me as I am to go to her; I will see her here.

When the milliner came into my chamber, I sent Isabel to my dressing-room to fetch a small parcel of fine linen which lay there, and in the interim she gave me Amy's letter, which I put into my pocket, and having pretended to be angry about my linen, I gave her the small bundle Isabel brought, and bid her be sure to do them better for the future.

She promised me she would, and went about her business; and when she was gone, I opened Amy's letter, and having read it, found it was to the following purpose, viz., that she had opened a coffee-house, and furnished the upper part 01 it to let out in lodgings; that she kept two maids and a man, but that the trade of it did not answer as she had reason tc expect; she was willing to leave it off, and retire into the country to settle for the rest of her life, but was continually harassed by such disturbance in her conscience as made her unfit to resolve upon anything, and wished there was a possibility for her to see me, that she might open her mind with the same freedom as formerly, and have my advice upon some particular affairs; and such-like discourse.

It was a pretty while before I heard from Amy again, and when I did, the letter was in much the same strain as the former, excepting that things were coming more to a crisis; for she told me in it, that her money was so out, that is, lent as ready money to traders, and trusted for liquors in her house, that if she did not go away this quarter, she should be obliged to run away the next. I very much lamented her unfortunate case, but that could be no assistance to her, as I had it not now in my power to see her when I would, or give her what I pleased, as it had always used to be; so all I could do was to wish her well, and leave her to take care of herself.

About this time it was that I perceived my lord began to look very pale and meagre, and I had a notion he was going into a consumption, but did not dare tell him so, for fear he

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should say I was daily looking for his death, and was now overjoyed that I saw a shadow of it; nevertheless he soon after began to find himself in a very bad state of health, for he said to me one morning, that my care would not last long, for he believed he was seized by a distemper it was impossible for him to get over. My lord, said I, you do not do me justice in imagining anything concerning me that does not tend to your own happiness, for if your body is out of order my mind suffers for it. Indeed, had he died then, without making a will, it might have been well for me; but he was not so near death as that; and, what was worse, the distemper, which proved a consumption (which was occasioned chiefly by much study, watchings, melancholy thoughts, wilful and obstinate neglect of taking care of his body, and such like things), held him nine weeks and three days after this, before it carried him off.

He now took country lodgings, most delightfully situated, both for air and prospect, and had a maid and man to attend him; I begged on my knees to go with him, but could not get that favour granted; for, if I could, it might have been a means of restoring me to his favour, but our breach was too wide to be thoroughly reconciled, though I used all the endearing ways I had ever had occasion for to creep into his favour.

Before he went out of town, he locked and sealed up every room in the house, excepting my bedchamber, dressingroom, one parlour, and all the offices and rooms belonging to the servants; and, as he had now all my substance in his power, I was in a very poor state for a countess, and began to wish, with great sincerity, that I had never seen him, after I had lived so happy a life as I did at the Quaker's; for notwithstanding our estates, joined together, when we were first married, amounted to 3,3761. per annum, and near 18,000l. ready money, besides jewels, plate, goods, &c., of a considerable value, yet we had lived in a very high manner since our taking the title of earl and countess upon us; setting up a great house, and had a number of servants; our equipage, such as coach, chariot, horses, and their attendants; a handsome fortune my lord had given to my daughter, and a very noble one to my son, whom he loved very well, not for his being my son, but for the courteous behaviour of him, in never aspiring to anything above a valet, after he knew

who he was, till my lord made him his secretary or clerk; besides all these expenses, my lord, having flung himself into the trade to the Indies, both East and West, had sustained many great and uncommon losses, occasioned by his merchandise being mostly shipped in English bottoms; and that nation having declared war against the crown of Spain, he was one of the first and greatest sufferers by that power; so that, on the whole, our estate, which was as above, dwindled to about 1,000l. per annum, and our home stock, viz., about 17,000l. was entirely gone. This, I believe, was another great mortification to his lordship, and one of the main things that did help to hasten his end; for he was observed, both by me and all his servants, to be more cast down at hearing of his losses, that were almost daily sent to him, than he was at what had happened between him and me.

Nothing could give more uneasiness than the damage our estate sustained by this traffic; he looked upon it as a mere misfortune, that no person could avoid; but I, besides that, thought it was a judgment upon me, to punish me, in the loss of all my ill-got gain; but when I found that his own fortune began to dwindle, as wed as mine, I was almost ready to think it was possible his lordship might have been as wicked a liver as I had, and the same vengeance as had been poured upon me for my repeated crimes, might also be a punishment for him.

As his lordship was in a bad state of health, and had removed to a country lodging, his study and counting-house, as well as his other rooms, were locked and sealed up; all business was laid aside, excepting such letters as came to him were carried to his lordship to be opened, read, and answered. I also went to see him morning and evening, but he would not suffer me to stay with him a single night; I might have had another room in the same house, but was not willing the people who kept it should know that there was a misunderstanding between us, so I contented myself to be a constant visitor, but could not persuade him to forgive me the denying of my daughter, and acting the part of Roxana, because I had kept those two things an inviolable secret from him, and everybody else but Amy, and it was carelessness in her conduct at last that was the foundation of

all

my future misery.

As my lord's weakness increased, so his ill temper, rather

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than diminish, increased also; I could do nothing to please him, and began to think that he was only pettish because he found it was his turn to go out of the world first. A gentleman that lived near him, as well as his chaplain, persuaded him to have a physician, to know in what state his health was; and by all I could learn, the doctor told him to settle his worldly affairs as soon as he conveniently could; For, says he, although your death is not certain, still your life is very precarious.

The first thing he did after this was to send for the son he had by me, from the university; he came the week afterwards, and the tutor with him, to take care of his pupil. The next day after, my lord came home, and, sending for six eminent men that lived at the Hague, he made his will, and signed it in the presence of them all; and they, with the chaplain, were appointed the executors of it, and guardians of my son.

As I was in a great concern at his making his will unknown to me, and before we were friends, I thought of it in too serious a manner not to speak about it. I did not know where to apply first, but after mature consideration, sent for the chaplain, and he coming to me, I desired he would give me the best intelligence he could about it. My lady, said he, you cannot be so unacquainted with the duty of my function, and the trust my lord has reposed in me, but you must know I shall go beyond my trust in relating anything of that nature to you; all that I can say on that head is, that I would have you make friends with my lord as soon as you possibly can, and get him to make another will, or else take the best care of yourself as lies in your power; for, I assure you, if his lordship dies, you are but poorly provided for.

These last words of the chaplain's most terribly alarmed me; I knew not what to do; and, at last, as if I was to be guided by nothing but the furies, I went to his chamber, and, after inquiring how he did, and hearing that he was far from well, I told him I had heard he had made his will. Yes, said he, I have; and what then? Why, my lord, replied I, I thought it would not have been derogatory to both our honours for you to have mentioned it to me before you did it, and have let me known in what manner you intended to settle your estate; this would have been but acting like a man to his wife, even if you had married me without a for

VOL. IV.

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