worlds would not tempt me to part with it!"

DUKE OF MARLBOROUGH. In one of the campaigns of this great general, he wanted to deceive the enemy by a seeming encampment, and, for this purpose, gave orders for intrenchments to be made accordingly. Whilst this was accomplishing, and the duke, in person, visiting the lines, he overheard one of the soldiers muttering to himself, whilst at work, 66 we shall run away to-night, for all this." Repeating this two or three times roused the duke's curiosity, and he desired one of his aids-decamp to find out the man's name and regiment, which he noted in his pocket-book. At midnight the retreat was sounded, and the whole army were ordered to march as fast as possible to another situation, many miles distant. When this was accomplished, the duke sent for the man, and asked him his reason for saying we should run away that night. The man was at first rather confounded at the question, but being encouraged as well as commanded by the duke to explain himself, he replied, "Because, my general, I did not think (notwithstanding the order for intrenching ourselves) that we were in a proper situation to do so.' The duke instantly saw the man's genius for his profession, and had liberality enough to reward it properly; he gave him an ensign's commission on the spot, promoted him, before the end of the campaign, to a captaincy, and he rose, some years afterwards, to the rank of a lieutenant-colonel.

HIS LATE MAJESTY.-The following anecdote virtually cha

racterises the late king, George the Third. Towards the end of the month of January, 1805, at a time when he was much occupied in preparations for the installation of the knights of the Garter; and while conversing on the subject with some persons of high rank at Windsor, one of them, a nobleman, deservedly distinguished by his favour, said

-"Sir, are not the new knights, now meant to be installed, obliged to take the sacrament before the ceremony?" Nothing could assuredly have been further from his ideas, than to have asked the question in a manner capable of implying any levity or irreverence. Nevertheless, his majesty instantly changed countenance; and, assuming a severe look, after a níoment's pause-" No," replied he ; "that religious in

stitution is not mixed with our profane ceremonies. Even at the time of my coronation, I was very unwilling to take the sacrament. But when they told me that it was indispensible, and that I must receive it, before I approached the communion table, I took off the bauble from my head. The sacrament, my lord, is not to be profaned by our Gothic institutions." The severity of the king's manner, while he pronounced these words, impressed all present, and suspended, for a short time, the conversation. Even the temporary privation of his intellect did not affect his regard to the assurances that he had given previous to such alienation of mind nor, which is still more wonderful, obliterate them from his recollection. On his recovery from the severest visitation under which he had laboured,

d;

he has said to his minister, in the first moments of his convalescence-" Previous to my attack or illness, I made such and such promises; they must be effectuated." How deep sense of honour, and how strong a moral principle must have animated such a prince!

a

THE PARSON IN A STROM.-A parson about to embark, for the first time, upon a long voyage, and expressing some alarm as to the perils of the sea, was told by an old seaman, who had encountered many a gale, that if a storm arose he need be under no apprehension so long as the sailors cursed and swore; but if they ceased to do this, or went to prayer, the chance was that they would soon be all at the bottom. The ship had not been many days on her passage when a strong gale arose, which soon increased to a tempest: the vessel was tossed up and down, the sails rattled, and after a time one of the passengers, in great agitation went upon deck, but presently returned, and, addressing himself to the parson, said, "Good Heaven, what will become of us! I declare the oaths and imprecations of the sailors above are quite alarming-it is enough of itself to sink the ship." Curs ing and swearing are they?" says the parson; "God be praised! we are all safe.

BON-MOT.-Some one observing that Tom Dibdin had said he would never write another play, a friend immediately remarked, "That's the best thing Tom Dibdin ever said !”

DISCONTENT-I hate hearing people murmur against their rulers without some sufficient cause; so hearing a fisherman

cursing lord Londonderry, and the ministers most vehemently, I ventured to ask him the reason -"Reason!" growled he, 66 reason enough! I'll be shot if I've caught three fish this morning! and those that I have are SO cursed small, they.re good for nothing!"

A Scotch newspaper tells the following anecdote of the celebrated advocate, Mr. J. C— Mr. C. while limping down the High-street of Edinburgh, from the court of session, overheard a young lady whisper, rather too loudly, to a companion, "That's the famous J. C, the lame lawyer." Upon which he turned round, and with his wonted force, perhaps, a little of not unwonted coarseness, exclaimed

"You lie, ma'am! I am a lame man, but not a lame lawyer!" The following anecdote of the same gentleman will shew his readiness at reply. In pleading before the House of Lords, one day, he happened to say, in his broad accent"In plaan English, my lords." Upon which lord Eldon, jocosely remarked"In plain Scotch you mean, Mr. C." The prompt advocate instantly rejoined" Nae matter! In plaan common sense, ma lord, and that's the same in a' languages." His client lost nothing by the turn.

ANGLING. - Some time ago, two young gentlemen of Dumfries, while fishing at Dalswinton loch, having expended their stock of worms, &c. had recourse to the expedient of picking out the eyes of the dead perch, and attaching them to their hooksa bait which the perch is known to take quite as readily as any other. One of the perch caught

in this manner struggled so much when taken out of the water, that the hook had no sooner been loosened from its mouth, than it came in contact with one of its eyes, and actually tore it out. The pain occasioned by this accident only made the fish struggle the harder, until at last it fairly slipped through the holder's fingers, and again escaped to its native element. The disappointed fisher, still retaining the eye of the aquatic fugitive, adjusted it on the hook, and again committed his line to the waters. After a very short interval, on pulling up the line, he was astonished to find the identical perch that had eluded his grasp a few minutes before, and which literally perished by swallowing its own eye!-Dumfries Courier.

ABSURD ORIGIN OF WARS. Without considering the complieation of misery which has attended wars, we are tempted occasionally to smile at the extreme absurdity of their origin. Phillip I. of France, speaking to one of the courtiers of William the conqueror, said "When will the fat monster get out of bed?" This was reported to William, who was so incensed at the speech, that he ordered his ambassador to tell the king of France, that when the fat monster should be up, he would go and be churched at St. Genevieve, in Paris, with ten thousand lances instead of tapers. "He kept his word," says the French historian, entering French Vexin, where he committed a thousand ravages, and would have done greater evils, had not death carried him off in this expedition. Behold a war that was occasioned by a mere

joke! One of the most bloody

wars in Switzerland is said to have arisen from an equivocal expression which was misapprehended by the duke of Burgundy.

TRADING AUTHORS.-(From the anecdotes of A. Stephens, esq. of Park-house, Chelsea.)-In London and Paris, where artificial employments are carried to the highest degree of refinement, there are tribes of men who live by writing for the public press. Periodical works must be filled. A certain number of pages are pledged to appear; and originality of form and composition are expected. Hence there is constant employment in reviews, magazines, and newspapers for those who combine some talent with much industry. Translating, too, is another source of literary employment; and editing new editions of books, and index-making, are other sources. As quality is not reducible to any previous standard, payment is generally made by the printed sheet; and, the measure being superficial, it is not to be wondered at that the productions are also superficial. Thought is the material of the writer by the sheet, and is the gold with which he contrives to gild a certain number of pages. Of course, he lays it on in proportion to the price he is paid; and we have single and double gilding, and plating of various thickness in literature, as well as in the metallic arts. It is amusing to carry this idea through the pages of a review or magazine. The writers and the readers are constantly at issue. The former is endeavouring to beat out his small stock of thoughts into the greatest num

A close

ber of pages-is eking them out by antitheses, figures, comparisons, and well-rounded periods; while the weary reader is vainly looking for original ideas and useful conclusions. Their objects, however, are different. The author must eat, and must fill a certain number of pages; and the reader must be content if he catch one good thought in a thousand words, or in ten thousand, if the style be easy, graceful, and flowing. Small type and matters of fact are the bane of authorship. printed page, and the details of art and science, are as much dreaded by a practised author, as a whipping-cart by a pickpocket. On the contrary, essays about nothing but trifles, or commonplace topics; or reviews, which admit of long quotations, strung together with short paragraphs, are perennial blessings. Of the former, an industrious writer cannot produce a sheet in a month, while of the latter, he can produce a sheet, day after day, before he dines. In my early days, the Monthly Review used to give three guineas a sheet, or four shillings a page, quotations included; and it transcended and has outlived the Critical, because the latter paid but two, and, therefore, only had the aid of those writers who could not get engagements in the Monthly. The magazines, in general, paid but two, but the European, under Perry, paid three. Phillips got the ill-will of the other proprietors, by paying five and upwards; but then he undid his authors by his small type, and by his matters of fact, of which he exhausts them, in succession, in a few months.

The Edinburgh Review, gave ten guineas for essays; the Quarterly followed at fifteen: others have given as much; and while the public, or any considerable portion of the public, are gratified by long-winded essays, this species of publication will succeed. I was delighted in Paris to find that the corps de gens de lettres consist, for the most part, of men of small independent fortunes, and could even boast of men of wealth; whereas, in London, where every thing is so commercial, this class consists chiefly of needy adventurers, dependant from month to month on the exertions of their brains.

Of the many anecdotes of the lower classes that have come to our notice, none, perhaps, is more characteristic than that of a Newhaven fisherwoman. Α gentleman happened to pass just as she was stepping out of her husband's boat, and eager to communicate the felicity which she had enjoyed, she exclaimed

"Oa, serr! I hae seen the king, our ain king George, an' a bonnie, sonsie, wiselike carle he is.-God bless him!-Gin I war a man I wad fetcht for him mysel, as lang as there was a muscle shell in my crael."-Edinburgh Star.

A PUN DESPERATE.-A Lancashire gentleman having had the misfortune to hurt his leg, which occasioned him to be confined to the house, his friends, wishing to enliven the tedium of confinement, called to chat with him; in the course of their conversation they asked him " How he liked the Ayreshire Legatees?" The invalid replied Very well; but at present I would prefer a Lancashire leg at ease."

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About seven o'clock, a private of the third West India regiment, named Ratcliff, went to the house of a free black woman, about one hundred yards from the new burying-ground, at Lapeyrouze, with whom he had previously had some difference, and, with out any provocation on her part, stabbed her twice with a sharp knife. As the wretch inflicted the wounds, the woman ran out of the house, pursued by her assailant for a short distance, when he returned, and found the daughter of the said woman, who had that instant entered; he immediately assaulted her with the same knife, and wounded her severely in the arm; after a scuffle, she succeeded in making her escape. A coloured woman, who endeavoured to prevent his attempt at murder, after the first alarm was given, received a wound from him, which prevented her giving any further assistance. After having committed this sanguinary outrage, the monster, with a savage ferocity, rushed into an inner room where two infants, one about four, and the other sixteen months old, were asleep, seized both, and cut their entrails out, immediately after which he seized a dog and killed it.

Armed with a blood-stained knife in one hand and a pistol in

the other, the inhuman wretch placed himself in the middle of the road, and threatened to be the death of any one that should attempt to approach to take him : however, one serjeant Cox, of the same regiment, who was passing by, and hearing his threats, made a bold attempt upon the assassin, who discharged the pistol at him; but, missing his mark, thrust his knife into the serjeant's arm, which did not, however, discourage him; and he finally succeeded in taking him, having stunned him by a blow. At this time the chief of the police, who had received information of what had occurred, arrived and committed the murderer to jail, and had the infants, who were not quite dead, carried to the Military hospital. They were accompanied by their mother and sister. We learn that both the infants are since dead.

IMPORTANT TO DISSENTERS.The general Turnpike act, passed during the last session, completely sets at rest the question of dissenters being exempt from paying toll on Sundays, when proceeding to their usual places of worship. The act states, sec. 3, that tolls shall not be demanded or taken from any person or persons going to, or returning from his, her, or their usual place of religious worship, tolerated by law, on Sundays, or any other day, on which divine service is by authority ordered to be celebrated.

LEGAL REDRESS. - A dandy