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moderate computation, 800 can- might be supposed, a daring non-shot, and withstood the fire sceptic or profound speculatorof near 10,000 soldiers and sea- he was simply a courtier and beau men, and that with a hundred –one who thought merely to men only, which were all she had speak, and struck out novelto bear arms from the first of the ties to relieve the ennui of conengagement. The Spaniards, by versation. He was a ladies' their own confession, lost above philosopher, and discussed the 1,000 men, and several officers topics of the toilet and the heart of distinction. Of the English, with singular felicity; the fair about sixty survived this glorious were his school, and the boudoir action ; of whom there was not his porch. He fell in with the a man but carried off one or epicurean and languid humour more wounds, as so many ho- of his time and country, became nourable memorials of their the moral legislator of the beau courageous intrepidity.
monde, and destroyed the existing Sir Richard was carried on generous laws of the heart-as board the Spanish admiral, where Munchausen overcame the wolf, he died of his wounds within two by turning him inside out. days. The ship foundered at sea And all this was done by the way five days after.
of amusement. The life of Rochefoucault gave the lie to his
doctrine ; and deifier of self was PHILOSOPHY OF SELF.
an ardent friend and enthusiastic It may seem a dangerous, but lover. But folks received that it is not altogether a false senti- as sterling, which he himself ment, that bad principles are meant for tinsel; they saw better than none. Consistency not wit, but reason in it, and is the true sublime in moral con- theory was converted into pracduct-fixed principles, of any tice. The empire of raillery was kind, and in any being, com- acknowledged and acquiesced mand respect and admiration. in ;-sarcasm was allowed to parBut mere negations are no princi- ry accusation, and point to be ples ; they take no hold, and they an answer to proof. Then came struggle to usurp the place of the dynasty of epigrams, from those, on which they depend, whence to that of denunciation and which, when they destroy, and proscription was a short they necessarily annihilate them- stride. selves. Such are all those pre- No topic could be more concocious and ephemeral sects, venient or delightful to the which, by the dint of paradox female scavans and their male and contradiction, have started followers, than this ingenious up, and become giants in an hour. babble about l amour, amour Of these, the foremost (at least propre, leveur, et l'esprit. Each to such as me, who care not for of these unfortunate terms were church or state, and argue but in their turn viewed and reviewwith mine own feelings) is the ed—asserted at the same time Philosophy of Self.
of a thousand different and inThe founder, or, nominal foun- congruous things-split and torder of this system, was not, as tured into shadows. It is worth while to look for the explications gar idea, set down every one for of l'esprit in Girard's synonimies, mad, who mutters with himself. to form an idea of the sufferings They were, besides, the assertors of that unlucky substantive. of feelings, and cast off the peFor my part, puzzled at first to dantic trammels of the old school. know what it was, I was puz- To say no more of either at prezled at last to discover what it sent, each of whom merits a vowas not. The ladies, with all lume of such ill-spun criticism due deference, play the very as I could bestow, they overdeuce with words, when they turned the philosophy of self. come to talk of philosophy. They are so refined in sentiment, and their perceptions admit of so
COPY OF A REAL WILL. many shades, that the Chinese The last Will and Testament of themselves would be perplexed Mr. Daniel Martinett, of Calto supply them with expressions : cutta, in the East Indies. four-and-twenty letters can ne- In the name of God, ver stand them.
I, Daniel Martinett, of the town Our neighbours, upon the of Calcutta, being in perfect whole, are too social for philoso- mind and memory, though weak phy,—their thoughts run in the in body, make this my last Will channel of conversation, and hav- and Testament, in manner and ing proceeded a space, expect a form following, appointing my reply to relieve and set them for- truly beloved friend, Mr. Edward ward on their journey again. Gulston, in the service of the Thought has not been the ex- honourable united East India ercise of their mind, but its di- company, of the aforesaid town, version ; but with the exception to be my executor, revoking all of Montesquieu, whose tesselated my former wills. To avoid Lasystem manifests the joiner's tin phrases, as it is a tongue I work, with which it was put to- am not well versed in, I shall gether, there is scarce an ex- speak in plain English. ample in their literature of a First-In the most submissive body of reasoning. They do not manner I recommend my soul to understand, and cannot follow Almighty God, hoping for pardon those speculations, whose link for all my past sins and iniquiand glue is feeling-in which, ties, through the merits of his multifarious subjects are blend- only son, my blessed Lord, ed together by the glowing Saviour, and Mediator, Jesus power of eloquence and imagina- Christ. tion. Hence, by the French Secondly-Now, as to worldly literati of the present day, De concerns, in the manner followStael and Chateaubriand are dis- ing:-As to this fulsome carowned as compatriots ;-they are case, having already seen enough not French in spirit, and the de- of worldly pomp, I desire nothing viation is not to be forgiven. To relative to it to be done, only illustrate writing by speech, they its being stowed away in my old were too much soliloquizers for green chest, to avoid expense ; the gossiping spirit of their na- for, as I lived profusely, I die tion, who, according to the vul- frugally.
Thirdly_The undertaker's fees furniture, books, and every thing come to nothing, as I won them else I die possessed of, I bequeath from him at a game of billiards, to those who stand most in need in the presence of Mr. Thomas of them, leaving it to the discernMorrice and William Perkes, at ment of my executor, Mr. Edward the said William Perkes's house, Gulston, excepting the things afin February last. I furthermore ter-mentioned. Unto captain Edrequest, not only as it is custo- ward Menzies, late commander mary, but as I sincerely believe of the ship Hibernia, I give my the prayers of the good availeth, sea-quadrant, invented by Hadand are truly consistent with de- ley, and made by Howel, in the cency, that the Rev. Mr. Henry Strand; likewise my two-feet Butler read the prayers which Gunter's scales. These I give are customary at burials, and him, because I believe he knows also preach a funeral sermon, the use of them better than any the Sunday next after my de- commander out of this port. cease, taking his text from Solo- My silver watch and buckles mon-All is vanity. In consider- - I give to Mr. Edward Gulston, in ation of which, over and above lieu of his sincere friendship to me his fees, I bestow on him all my during our acquaintance; and hypocrisy, which he wants as a these I hope he will not part modern good man; but as my with, unless his necessities refinances are low, and cannot con- quire it, which I sincerely hope veniently discharge his fees, I will never be the case. hope he will please to accept the Also to Mr. Thomas Forbes I will for the deed.
give my gold ring with a blue Fourthly-To Henry Vansit- stone set therein, which he may tart, Esq. as an opulent man, I exchange for a mourning one, if leave the discharge of all such he pleases. sum or sums of money (the I give my Bible and prayerwhole not exceeding three hun- book to the Rev. Mr. Henry dred rupees) that I shall stand Butler. indebted to indigent persons in My sword, with a cut and the town of Calcutta.
thrust blade, I give to captain Fifthly-To Mr. George Gray, Ransulie Knox, as I verily believe secretary to the presidency, I be- he not only knows how, but has queath all my sincerity.
courage to use it, and I hope only Sixthly-To Mr. Simon Droze, in a good cause. writer to the secretary's office, all As I have lived the make-game my modesty.
of a modern gentleman, being a Seventhly - To Mr. Henry butt for envy, and a mark for Higgenson, also of the secreta- malice, by acting a little out of ry's office, all the thoughts I hope the common road, though, thank I shall die possessed of.
God, never in a base way, I hope Eighthly — To Mr. Thomas I may die with sincere love and Forbes, all the worldly assurance charity to all men, forgiving all which I had when I had taken a my persecutors, as I hope for forcheerful glass, though in fact a giveness from my Creator. doleful cup.
As it lies not in my power to Ninthly-My wearing apparel, bequeath any thing to my rela
tions at home, I shall say nothing ing him that dreams were but concerning them, as they have not idle fancies, and that Christians for these six years past concerned ought not to regard them ; but themselves about me; excepting Simpson, upon whose mind it that I heartily wish them all had made a deep impression, adwell, and that my brothers and jured him, in the most solemn sisters may make a more pros- manner, to pay due regard to perous voyage through this life what he had said, for the sake than I have done.
of so many poor and innocent DANIEL MARTINETT. people, as might, otherwise, he Governor Vansittart was so sufferers by his rashness; on well pleased with the bequest which Rough was persuaded to which was made him, that he give up the roll. In a few days generously discharged the testa- after he was actually apprehendtor's debts above-mentioned.. ed, and, had the paper been dis
covered, the whole congregation
would have been returned.” DREAMS. Fox, the martyrologist, records the following remarkable in
THE DECAYED GENTLEMAN. , stance of the saving of some The consciousness of being beProtestants in London, in the lieved softens our chagrins, and sanguinary reign of Mary. “When enables the greatest part of manthe persecution was at its highest kind to support the misery of pitch, there was but one congre- existence. The affections must gation in the metropolis ; to be exercised on something; for, which a Mr. Rough belonged, as not to love is to be miserable. a deacon or officer ; and whose “ Were I in a desert,” says office was to administer to the Sterne, " I would find out poor, for which purpose he had wherewith in it to call forth my in his custody a roll, in which affections. If I could not do were the names of all the mem- better, I would fasten them upon bers of the church. It happened some sweet myrtle, or seek some one night, that Cuthbert Simp- melancholy cypress to connect son, one of the congregation, myself to. I would court their dreamt that Mr. Rough was ap- shades, and greet them kindly for prehended and the roll found in their protection. I would cut his pocket-on which he awoke; my name upon them, and swear but falling to sleep again, he had they were the lovliest trees a repetition of his dream. This throughout the desert. If their very much affected him, and he leaves withered, I would teach got up with the intention of go- myself to mourn—and when they ing to Mr. Rough ; but, before rejoiced, I would rejoice with he was dressed, Mr. Rough came them.” But a short story will into his chamber, to whom Simp- illustrate this reasoning better son related his dream, and de- than the most beautiful reflecsired that he would so dispose of tions. the roll, that it might never be “A respectable character, after found upon him. Rough reprov- having long figured in the gay ed him for his superstition, tell- world, at Paris, was, at length, compelled to live in an obscure some injury, procured a writ retreat in that city, the victim of against the sailor, and put it insevere and unforseen misfor- to the officer's hands for the tunes. He was so indigent, that purpose of having him arrested. he subsisted only on an allowance Jack being upon the wharf when from the parish. Every week a the sheriff drew near, immediatequantity of bread was sent to ly mounted the shrouds of a fishhim, sufficient for his support- ing-smack to the mast-head, and and yet, at length, he demanded there took his seat, lit his segar, more. On this, the curate sent and very composedly began to for him.-He went. "Do you smoke. The officer, after having live alone ?' said the curate. in vain attempted to coax him
With whom, sir,' answered the down within the reach of the unfortunate man,' is it possible process, at length concluded to I should live! I am wretched ! have him brought down by force. You see that I am, since I thus The messenger approaching solicit charity—and am abandon- rather too near, Jack took a small ed by all the world. • But, sir, spar, used for a top-mast, and continued the curate, 'if you live kept him at a reasonable disalone, why do you ask for more tance. Finding it impossible to bread than is sufficient for your- surmount this obstacle, he, after self ?' The other was quite dis- awhile, retreated back to the concerted, and at last, with great deck. After Jack had maintainreluctance, confessed that he had ed his position at the mast-head a dog. The curate did not drop for nearly two hours, occasionally the subject. He desired him to relieving his apprehensions by a observe that he was only the dis- bottle of grog, which his messtributor of the bread that be- mates below had fastened to a longed to the poor, and that it rope for him to draw up, a sloop was absolutely necessary that he laying alongside being about should dispose of his dog. “Ah, getting under weigh, by the aid sir !' exclaimed the poor man, of his brother tars, the two vesweeping, and if I lose my dog, sels were rocked in such a manwho is there then to love me!' ner as to bring the rigging into The good pastor, melting into contact, when he stepped from tears, took his purse, and giving his roost in the mast-head of the it to him-- Take this, sir,' said smack over to that of the sloop, he, 'this is mine; this I can give and sailed securely off, amidst
the cheers of a great number of persons who had collected on the
docks, and witnessed the divertJUSTICE EVADED.
ing scene, leaviug the minister of The New York Advertiser of of justice to return his writ non the 13th of May says:-"A curi- est inventus." ous instance of escape from the fangs of the law occurred at one of the wharfs in this city yester
THE ECLIPSE. day. In consequence of a wran- The dreadful massacres in gle between a sailor and a black South America, by which milliman ; the latter having sustained ons of poor Indians, were savage