Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume 2Thomas L. Masson Doubleday, Page, 1903 - American wit and humor |
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Common terms and phrases
ain't Ann Ryan apple tree asked bein Bilkins Bob Ingersoll bore BRET HARTE called Captain chair Cherokee Strip Clarence Cochin China Colonel Coquette dear dollars Dolly door Euphemia father feller fence friends garden gate George George Washington give goat Gus Johnson hand haythen head hear heard hour Hushaby Jaalam JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL jess tree JOHN GODFREY SAXE kind knew ladder Lisette little hatchet little Iron-clad looked Lord Edward Lullaby Margaret MARY MAPES DODGE McGinnis's Court Melons mind missus never night nodded nose nothin O'Rourke old gentleman once Peter Pomona replied Reverend ring says Shanghai smile Smith soul stood story talk there's thet thet's thing thought told took tooth turn Tushmaker Uncle Popworth Washington Whad Whiffles Williams window woman Wortleby
Popular passages
Page 100 - The times have been That, when the brains were out, the man would die, And there an end ; but now they rise again, With twenty mortal murders on their crowns, And push us from our stools.
Page 63 - So's to lug new slave-states in To abuse ye, an' to scorn ye, An' to plunder ye like sin. Ain't it cute to see a Yankee Take sech everlastin...
Page 154 - Wait till you come to Forty Year. Forty times over let Michaelmas pass, Grizzling hair the brain doth clear — Then you know a boy is an ass, Then you know the worth of a lass, Once you have come to Forty Year.
Page 61 - Fact! it takes a sight o' cotton To stuff out a soger's chest: Sence we farmers hev to pay fer 't, Ef you must wear humps like these, Sposin' you should try salt hay fer 't, It would du ez slick ez grease.
Page 127 - No, no, no; said he cut down his apple tree." "George's apple tree?" "No, no; his father's." "Oh!" "He said " "His father said?" "No, no, no; George said, 'Father, I cannot tell a lie. I did it with my little hatchet.
Page 144 - ... requisite tin For ransom of their salesman, that he may Go forth as other boarders go alway — As those I hear now flocking from their tea, Led by the daughter of my landlady Pianoward. This day for all my moans, Dry bread and water have been served me. Behold the deeds that are done of Mrs. Jones1 Miss Amabel Jones is musical, and so , The heart of the young he-boarder doth win. Playing "The Maiden's Prayer," adagio — That fetcheth him, as fetcheth the banco skin The innocent rustic.
Page 64 - Spose the crows wun't fall to pickin' All the carkiss from your bones, Coz you helped to give a lickin' To them poor half-Spanish drones ? Jest go home an...
Page 144 - Galleth the crook of the young man's elbow ; / forget not, for I that youth have been. Smith was aforetime the Lothario gay. Yet once, I mind me, Smith was forced to stay Close in his room. Not calm, as I, was he ; But his noise brought no pleasaunce, verily. Small ease he gat of playing on the bones, Or hammering on his stovepipe, that I see. Behold the deeds that are done of Mrs. Jones!
Page 24 - I'll sit down when I'm ready, so I will, Ann Ryan, an' ye'd better be list'nin' than drawin' your remarks) an' it's mysel', with five good characters from respectable places, would be herdin
Page 30 - Ez fer the war, I go agin it, — I mean to say I kind o' du, — Thet is, I mean thet, bein' in it, The best way wuz to fight it thru ; Not but wut abstract war is horrid, I sign to thet with all my heart, — But civlyzation doos git forrid Sometimes upon a powder-cart. About thet darned Proviso matter I never hed a grain o...