Ros. I'll graff it with you, and then I shall graff it with a medlar; then it will be the earliest fruit in the country: for you'll be rotten e'er you be half ripe, and that's the right virtue of the medlar. Touch. You have said; but whether wisely or no, let the forest judge. Enter Celia, reading a paper. Ros. Peace! Here comes my sister, reading; stand aside. Cel. Why should this desert silent be? Twixt the souls of friend and friend: But upon the fairest, boughs, Or at every sentence' end, Will I Rosalinda write; Teaching all that read, to know Sad Lucretia's modesty. Thus Rosalind of many parts By heavenly synod was devis'd; Of many faces, eyes, and hearts, To have the touches dearest priz'd. Ros. O most gentle Jupiter!-what tedious Touch. Come, shepherd, let us make an hon- [exeunt Corin and Touchstone. Cel. That's no matter; the feet might bear the verses. Ros. Ay, but the feet were lame, and could not bear themselves without the verse, and therefore stood lamely in the verse. Cel. But didst thou hear, without wondering how thy name should be hang'd and carved upon these trees? Ros. I was seven of the nine days out of the Cel. Trow you, who hath done this? Cel. And a chain (that you once wore) about Ros. I pr'ythee, who? Cel. O lord, lord! it is a hard matter for friends to meet; but mountains may be removed with earthquakes, and so encounter. Ros. Nay, but who is it? Cer. Is it possible? Ros. Nay, I pray thee now, with most petitionary vehemence, tell me who is it? Cel. O wonderful, wonderful, and most woDderful wonderful, and yet again wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping! Ros. Good my complexion! dost thou think, though I am caparison'd like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my disposition? One inch of delay more is a South-sea-off discovery. I pr'ythee tell me, who is it? quickly, and speak apace : I would thou could'st stammer, that thou might'st pour this concealed man out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow-mouth'd bottle; either too much at once, or none at all. I pr'ythee, take the cork out of thy mouth, that tidings. Cel So you may put a man in your belly. Ros Is he of God's making? What manner of man? Is his head worth a hat, or his chiu worth a beard? may drink thy Cel. Nay, he hath but a little beard. Ros. Why, God will send more, if the man will be thankful; let me stay the growth of his beard, if thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin. Cel. It is young Orlando; that tripp'd up tho wrestler's heels, and your heart, both in an instant. Ros. Nay, but the devil take mocking; speak, sad brow, and true maid. Cel. I'faith, coz, 'tis he. Cel. Orlando. Ros. Alas the day! what shall I do with my doublet and hose?-What did he, when thou saw'st him? What said he? How look'd he? Wherein went he? What makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where remains he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see him again? Answer me in one word. Cel. You must borrow me Garagantua's mouth first: 'tis a word too great for any mouth of this age's size. To say, ay and no, to these particulars, is more than to auswer in a catechism. Ros. But doth he know that I am in this forest, and in man's apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled? Cel. It is as easy to count atomies, as to resolve the propositions of a lover :-but take a taste of my finding him, and relish it with a good observance. I found him under a tree like a dropp'd acorn. Ros. It may well be called Jove's tree, when it drops forth such fruit. Cel. Give me audience, good madam. Cel. There he lay, stretch'd along, like a wounded knight. Ros. Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well becomes the ground. Cel. Cry, holla! to thy tongue, I pr'ythee; it curvets very unseasonably. He was furnish'd like a hunter. Ros. O ominous! he comes to kill my heart. Cel. I would sing my song without a burden: thou bring'st me out of tune. Ros. Do you not know I am a woman! when I think, I must speak. Sweet, say on. Enter Orlando and Juques. Cel. You bring me out.-Soft! comes he not here? Ros. 'Tis he; slink by, and note him. [they retire. Jaq. I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone. Orl. And so had I: but yet, for fashion's sake, I thank you too for your society. Jaq. God be with you! let's meet as little as we can. Orl. I do desire we may be better strangers. Jaq. I pray you, mar no more trees with writing love-songs in their barks. Orl. I pray you, mar no more of my verses with reading them ill-favouredly. Jaq. Rosalind is your love's name? Jaq. I do not like her name. Orl. There was no thought of pleasing you, when she was christen'd. Jaq. What stature is she of? Orl. Just as high as my heart. Jaq. You are full of pretty answers: Have you not been acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conn'd them out of rings? Orl. Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from whence you have studied your questions. Jaq. You have a nimble wit; I think it was made of Atalanta's heels. Will you sit down with me? and we two will rail against our mistress the world, and all our misery. Orl. I will chide no breather in the world, but myself; against whom I know most faults. Jaq. The worst fault you have, is to be in love. Orl. 'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. I am weary of you. Jaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a fool, when I found you. Orl. He is drown'd in the brook; look but in, and you shall see him. Jaq. There shall I see mine own figure. Orl. Which I take to be either a fool or a cypher. Jaq. I'll tarry no longer with you: farewell, good signior Love. Orl. I am glad of your departure; adieu, good monsieur Melancholy. [exit Jaques. [Celia and Rosalind come forward. Ros. I will speak to him like a saucy lacquey, and under that habit play the knave with him.Do you hear, forester? Orl. Very well; what would you? Ros. I pray you, what is't o'clock ? Orl. You should ask me what time o'day? there's no clock in the forest. Ros. Then there's no true lover in the forest; else sighing every minute, groaning every hour, would detect the lazy foot of time, as well as a clock. Orl. And why not the swift foot of time? had not that been as proper? Ros. By no means, sir; time travels in divers paces with divers persons. I'll tell you who time ambles withal, who time trots withal, who time gallops withal, and who he stands still withal. Orl. I pr'ythee, who doth he trot withal ? Ros. Marry, he trots hard with a young maid, between the contract of her marriage, and the day it is solemnized: if the interim be but a se'nnight, time's pace is so hard, that it seems the length of seven years. Orl. Who ambles time withal? Ros. With a priest that lacks Latin, and a rich man that hath not the gout: for the one sleeps easily, because he cannot study; and the other lives merrily, because he feels no pain: the one lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning; the other knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury: these time ambles withal. Orl. Who doth he gallop withal? Ros. With a thief to the gallows; for, though he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there. Orl. Who stays it still withal? Ros With lawyers in the vacation: for they sleep between term and term, and then they perceive not how time moves. Orl. Where dwell you, pretty youth? Ros. With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat. Orl. Are you native of this place? Ros. As the coney, that you see dwell where she is kindled. Orl. Your accent is something finer than you could purchase in so removed a dwelling. Ros. I have been told so of many: but, indeed, an old religious uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an inland man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in love. I have heard him read many lectures against it; and I thank God, I am not a woman, to be touch'd with so many giddy offences as he hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal. Orl. Can you remember any of the principal evils that he laid to the charge of women? Ros. There were none principal; they were like one another, as halfpence are: every one fault seeming monstrous, till his fellow fault came to match it. Orl. I pr'ythee, recount some of them. Ros. No; I will not cast away my physic, but on those that are sick. There is a man haunts the forest, that abuses our young plants with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs odes upon hawthorns, and elegies upon brambles; all forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of love upon him. Orl. I am he, that is so love-shaked ; pray you, tell me your remedy. Ros. There is none of my uncle's marks upon you: he taught me how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes, I am sure, you are not a prisoner. Orl. What were his marks? Ros. A lean cheek; which you have not: a blue eye, and sunken; which you have not: an unquestionable spirit; which you have not: a beard neglected; which you have not:-but 1 pardon you for that; for, simply, your having no beard is a younger brother's revenue. -Then your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unbanded, your sleeve unbutton'd, your shoe untied, and every thing about you demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man; you are rather point-device in your accoutrements; as loving yourself, than seeming the lover of any other. Orl. Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love. Aud. Your features? Lord warrant us: what features? Touch. I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths. Jaq. O knowledge ill-inhabited! worse than Jove in a thatch'd house! [aside. Touch. When a man's verses cannot be understood, nor a man's good wit seconded with the forward child, understanding, it strikes a man Ros. Me believe it? you may as soon make her more dead than a great reckoning in a little room. that you love believe it; which, I warrant, she-Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical. is apter to do, than to confess she does: that is one of the points in the which women still give the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired? 4 Aud. I do not know what poetical is. Is it honest in deed and word? Is it a true thing? Touch. No, truly; for the truest poetry is the most feigning; and lovers are given to poetry; and what they swear in poetry, may be said, as lovers, they do feign. Aud. Do you wish then, that the gods had made me poetical? Touch. I do, truly; for thou swear'st to me, thou art honest: now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope thou didst feign. Orl. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he. Ros. But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak? [how much. Orl. Neither rhyme nor reason can express Ros. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip, as madmen do; and the reason why they are not so punished and cured, is, that the lunacy is so ordi-your'd: for honesty, coupled to beauty, is to have nary, that the whippers are in love too. Yet I honey a sauce to sugar. profess curing it by counsel. He was Orl. Did you ever cure any so? Ros. Yes, one; and in this manner. to imagine me his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me: at which time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking; proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every passion something, and for no passion truly any thing, as boys and women are for the most part cattle of this colour: would now like him, now loath him; then entertain him, then forswear him; now weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from his mad humour of love, to a living humour of madness; which was, to forswear the full stream of the world, and to live in a nook merely monastic. And thus I cured him; and this way will I take upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that there shall not be one spot of love in't. Aud. Would you not have me honest? Jaq. A material fool! Laside Aud. Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods make me honest! Touch. Truly, and to cast away homesty upon a foul slut, were to put good meat into an unclean dish. Aud. I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul. Touch. Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness! sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I will marry thee: and to that end I have been with Sir Oliver Mar-text, the vicar' of the next village; who hath promised to meet me in this place of the forest, and to couple us. Jaq. I would fain see this meeting. Aud. Well, the gods give us joy! Laside. It is Touch. Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart, stagger in this attempt; for here we have no temple but the wood, no assembly but horn-beasts. But what though? Courage! As borns are odious, they are necessary. said, Many a man knows no end of his goods; right; many a man has good horns, and knows no end of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife; 'tis none of his own getting.-Horns? Orl. Now, by the faith of my love, I will; tell Even so ;- -Poor men alone?- -No, no; Orl. I would not be cured, youth. Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind, and come every day to my cote, and woo me. me where it is? Ros. Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and, by the way, you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go? Orl. With all my heart, good youth. SCENE III. Enter Touchstone and Audrey; Jaques at a distance, observing them. Touch. Come apace, good Audrey; I will fetch up your goats, Audrey. And how, Audrey? am I the man yet? Doth my simple feature content you? the noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the single man therefore blessed? No; as a wall'd town is more worthier than a village, so is the forehead of a married man more honourable than the bare brow of a bachelor: and by how much defence is better than no skill, by so much is a horn more precious than to want. Enter Sir Oliver Mar-text. Here comes Sir Oliver:-Sir Oliver Mar-text, you are well met. Will you despatch us here under this tree, or shall we go with you to your chapel? Sir Oli. Is there none here to give the woman? Touch. I will not take her on the gift of any | think him as concave as a cover'd goblet, or a Sir Oli. Truly, she must be given, or the mar-Ros. Not true in love? riage is not lawful. Jaq. [discovering himself.] Proceed, proceed; I'll give her. Touch. Good even, good master What ye call't: How do you, sir? You are very well met. God'ild you for your last company: I am very glad to see you. Even a toy in hand here, sir.-Nay; pray, be cover'd. Jaq. Will you be married, motley? Touch. As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb, and the faulcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling. Jaq. And will you, being a man of your breeding, be married under a bush, like a beggar? Get you to church, and have a good priest, that can tell you what marriage is: this fellow will but join you together as they join wainscot; then one of you will prove a shrunk pannel, and, like green timber, warp, warp. Touch. I am not in the mind but I were bet- Jaq. Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee. We must be married, or we must live in bawdry. Not-O sweet Oliver, O brave Oliver, I will not to wedding wi' thee. [exeunt Jaq. Touch. and Audrey. Sir Ok.' Tis no matter; ne'er a fantastical knave of them all shall flout me out of my calling. [erit. SCENE IV. THE SAME. BEFORE A COTTAGE. Ros. Never talk to me, I will weep. Ros. But have I not cause to weep? Cel. As good cause as one would desire; therefore weep. Ros. His very hair is of the dissembling colour. Cel. Something browner than Judas's: marry, his kisses are Judas's own children. Ros. I'faith, his hair is of a good colour. Cel. An excellent colour: your chesnut was ever the only colour. Ros. And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the touch of holy bread. Cel. He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana: a nun of winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously; the very ice of chastity is in them. Ros. But why did he swear he would come this morning, and comes not? Cel. Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him. Cel. Yes I think he is not a pick-purse, nor a horse-stealer; but, for his verity in love, I do Cel. Yes, when he is in; but, I think he is not in. he was. Cel. Was is not is; besides, the oath of a lover is no stronger than the word of a tapster; they are both the confirmers of false reckonings. He attends here in the forest on the duke, your father. Ros. I met the duke yesterday, and had mich question with him. He asked me, of what parentage I was? I told him, of as good as he; so he laugh'd, and let me go. But what talk we of fathers, when there is such a man as Orlando? Cel. O, that's a brave man! he writes brave Cor. Mistress, and master, you have oft inquir'd Cel. Why, and what of him? Cor. If you will see a pageant truly play'd Ros. O, come, let us remove; The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.- SCENE V. ANOTHER PART OF THE FOREST. Sil. Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me; do not, Phebe: I fly thee, for I would not injure thee. Nor, I am sure, there is no force in eyes That can do hurt. Sil. O dear Phebe, If ever (as that ever may be near), You meet in some fresh cheek the power of fancy, Phe. But, till that time, [comes, Come not thou near me; and, when that time Ros. And why, I pray you? [advancing] Who That you insult, exult, and all at once, [beauty, I had rather hear you chide, than this man woo. Ros. He's fallen in love with her foulness, and she'll fall in love with my anger: if it be so, as fast as she answers thee with frowning looks, I'll sauce her with bitter words.Why look you so upon me? Phe. For no ill will I bear you. Ros. I pray you, do not fall in love with me, For I am falser than vows made in wine: Besides, I like you not: If you will know my Tis at the tuft of olives, here hard by: [house, Will you go, sister?-Shepherd, ply her hard. Come, sister:-Shepherdess, look on him better, And be not proud; though all the world could see, None could be so abus'd in sight as he. Come, to our flock. [exeunt Rosalind, Celia, and Corin. Phe. Dead shepherd! now I find thy saw of might; SCENE I. THE SAME. Enter Rosalind, Celia, and Jaques. Who ever lov'd, that lov'd not at first sight? Phe. Ha! what say'st thou, Silvius? Phe. Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius. Sil. Wherever sorrow is, relief would be. Phe. Thou hast my love; is not that neighbourly! Phe. Why, that were covetousness. Silvius, the time was, that I hated thee; And yet it is not, that I bear thee love: But since that thou canst talk of love so well, Thy company, which erst was irksome to me, I will endure; and I'll employ thee too: But do not look for further recompense, Than thine own gladness that thou art employ'd. Sil. So holy and so perfect is my love, And I in such a poverty of grace, That I shall think it a most plenteous crop To glean the broken ears after the man That the main harvest reaps: loose now and then A scatter'd smile, and that I'll live upon. Phe. Know'st thou the youth that spoke to me erewhile? Sil. Not very well, but I have met him oft; And he hath bought the cottage, and the bounds, That the old carlot once was master of. [him; [ference Phe. Think not I love him, though I ask for 'Tis but a peevish boy;-yet he talks well:But what care I for words? yet words do well, When he that speaks them pleases those that hear. It is a pretty youth :-not very pretty :- [him: But, sure he's proud; and yet his pride becomes He'll make a proper man: the best thing in him Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue Did make offence, his eye did heal it up. He is not tall; yet for his years he's tall: His leg is but so so; and yet 'tis well; There was a pretty redness in his lip, A little riper and more lusty red Than that mix'd in his cheek; 'twas just the difBetwixt the constant red, and mingled damask. There be some women, Silvius, had they mark'd In parcels as I did, would have gone near [bim To fall in love with him: but, for my part, I love him not, nor hate him not; and yet I have more cause to hate him than to love him; For what had he to do to chide at me? He said, mine eyes were black, and my hair black And, now I am remember'd, scorn'd at me : I marvel, why I answer'd not again; But that's all one: omittance is no quittance. I'll write to him a very taunting letter, And thou shalt bear it; wilt thou, Silvius? Sil. Phebe, with all my heart. Phe. I'll write it straight; The matter is in my head, and in my heart: I will be bitter with him, and passing short. Go with me, Silvius. ACT IV. [exeunt. Jaq. I pr'ythee, pretty youth, let me be better Jacqua, prythee, pr |
