be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir Tb. He is knight, dubbed with unhacked rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none, but by pangs of death and sepulchre: hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't. Vio. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valor: belike, this is a man of that quirk. Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very competent injury; therefore, get you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake that with me, which with as much safety you might answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked; for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron about you. Vio. This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir TOBY. Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valor. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir TOBY, with Sir ANDREW. Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a virago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stuck-in, with such a mortal motion, that it is Inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And. Plague on't; an I thought he had been so valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls: Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you. [Aside. Re-enter FABIAN and VIOLA. I have his horse [to FAB.] to take up the quarrel; I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir; he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. would make me tell them how much I lack of Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing [Aside. a man. 2 Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favor well, Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking you; But there's no remedy; I shall answer it. 2 Off. Come, sir, away. Ant, I must entreat of you some of that money. sir? Vio. What money, For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Out of my lean and low ability I'll lend you something: my having is not much; I'll make division of my present with you: Vio. I know of none; Nor know I you by voice, or any feature: I hate ingratitude more in a man, Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness, Or any taint of vice, whose strong corruption Inhabits our frail blood. Ant. O heavens themselves! 2 Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here, I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; Relieved him with such sanctity of love, Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with ANTONIO. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself; so do not I, Prove true, imagination, O, prove true, That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you, Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws. Vio. He named Sebastian; I my brother know Yet living in my glass; even such, and so, In favor was my brother; and he went Still in this fashion, color, ornament, For him I imitate: O, if it prove, Tempests are kind, and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare: his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. Sir And. Slid, I'll after him again, and beat. him. Sir To. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Sir And. An I do not,— [Exit. Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing yet. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter SEBASTIAN and Clown. T Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow. Let me be clear of the tool Clo. Well held out,i'faith! No, I do not know you! nor I am not sent to you by my lady, to bid you come speak with her! nor your name is not master Cesario! nor this is not my nose neither-Nothing, that is so, is so! Seb. I prithee,vent thy folly somewhere else; Thou knowst not me. Clo. Vent my folly! He has beard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I prithee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. I prithee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There's inoney for thee; if you tarry longer, I shall give worse payment. flo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:~ These wise men that give fools money, get themselves a good report after fourteen years' purchase. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking SEBASTIAN. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Enter Sir ANDREW, Sir TOBY, and FABIAN. | Topas the curate; do it quickly: I'll call sir Toby the whilst. [Exit MARIA. Clo. Well, I'll put it on, and I will dissemble myself in't; and I would I were the first that ever dissembled in such a gown. I am not fat enough to become the function well; nor lean enough to be thought a good student: but to be said, an honest man, and a good housekeeper, goes as fairly, as to say, a careful man, and a great scholar. The competitors enter. Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir AND. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight; I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding SEBASTIAN. Sir And. Nay, let him alone; I'll go another way to work with him; I'll have an action of battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Be not offended, dear Cesario:- but go; Do not deny: Beshrew his soul for me, Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:- O, say so, and so be! SCENE II. A Room in Olivia's House. Enter MARIA and Clown. Mar. Nay, I prithee, put on this gown, and this beard; make him believe, thou art sir Enter Sir TOBY BELCH, and MARIA. Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. Clo. Bonos dies, sir Toby; for as the old hermit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson: For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, sir Topas. Clo. What, hoa, I say;-Peace in this prison! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas, the curate, who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Mal.Sir Topas,never was man thus wronged: good sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Clo. Fie, thon dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Sayst throu, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild-fow!? Mul. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. lo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness; thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, Sir To. My most exquisite sir Topas! Mar. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown; lie sees thee not. Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir TOBY and MARIA. Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing. Clo. Master Malvolio! Mal. Ay, good fool. Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what yoù say; the minister is here.-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Who, I, sir? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir Topas.-Marry, amen.—I will, sir, 1 will. Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say. に Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you sir? I am shent for speaking to you. Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits as any man in Illyria. Co. Well-a-day,-that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest de. I'll be with you again, Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio, then? I could not find him at the Elephant: ny Yet there he was; and there I found this credit, That he did range the town to seek me out. His counsel now might do me golden service: For though my soul disputes well with my sense, That this may be some error, but no madness, Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune So far exceed all instance, all discourse, That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, And wrangle with my reason that persuades me To any other trust, but that I am mad, hoita Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, She could not sway her house, command her followers, Take and give back affairs, and their despatch, With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Enter OLIVIA and a Priest. Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you mean well, Now go with me, and with this holy man, Into the chantry by: there, before him, And underneath that consecrated roof, Plight me the full assurance of your faith; That my most jealous and too doubtful sont May live at peace: He shall conceal it, Whiles you are willing it shall come to note; What time we will our celebration keep According to my birth. What do you say? Seb. 1' follow this good man, and go with you: having sworn truth, ever will be true. Then lead the way, good father;And heavens so shine, That they may fairly note this act of mine [Exeunt. ACT V. SCENE I. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter Clown and FABIAN. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another request. Fab. Any thing. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompence, desire my dog again. Enter DUKE, VIOLA, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends? Clo. Ay, sir; we are some of her trappings. Duke. I know thee well: How dost thou, my good fellow? Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. No, sir, the worse. Duke. How can that be? Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly II am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent.c Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends.. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could make it another. Duke. O, you give me ill counsel. Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all; the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw: if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further, till Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, I come again. 1 go, sir: but I would not have you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness; but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it [Exit Clown. anon. Enter ANTONIO and Officers. rescue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember well; 1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio, And this is he, that did the Tiger board, state, In private brabble did we apprehend him. side; But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me, know not what 'twas, but distraction. Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Orsino, noble sir, give me; Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, Which I had recommended to his use Vio. (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) |