"So the mate he goes, an' bum-bye down he comes agin, but the following, told by a farmer of the far West, is a an' says: forcible example of that old saying, "Truth is stranger than fiction." It is to be hoped no one will have the temerity to doubt what this Western man says: 666 see. Cappen, this ere's the powerfullest moon ever you did She's scoff'd away the maintop-gallants'l, an' she's to work on the foretops'l now. Guess you'd better look in the alminick agin' an' fin' out when this moon sets.' "While my wife and I were busily engaged back of our log-cabin, clearing the ground, our little four-year-old girl "So the cappen thought 'twas 'bout time to go on deck. had strayed away from the house into the deep, dark forest. Dreadful slow them Dutch cappens be." Mr. Alison, English Envoy in Persia, was a man of uncommon abilities and brilliant powers, though with a vein of eccentricity which made him many enemies. He was a great favorite with the Turks, however, and especially the Grand Vizier, Reshid Pasha, who made quite a spoiled child of him. When this great Turkish statesman retired from his position, he was succeeded by a fanatical old fellow by the name of Raouf Pasha. Mr. Alison, having to transact some official business at the Porte, was received very differently from what he had been accustomed to. So marked were the respect and cordiality entertained for him by the former Grand Vizier, that he would meet him at the top of the principal staircase, take him by the hand, and conduct him through the crowds in the antechambers to his own room. On this occasion there was nothing of the kind. A servant led him to the presence of the great man, to whom he was announced simply as a Secretary of the English Embassy. Raouf Pasha took no notice. Mr. Alison put his hands in his pockets and began whistling a tune, while he looked at the pictures on the walls. The servant ran up to him, saying that the pasha on the sofa was the Grand Vizier. 'Impossible," exclaimed Mr. Alison in Turkish. "That must be some flunkey. The Grand Vizier would receive me like a gentleman." Raouf Pasha stood up in apparent astonishment. Mr. Alison took a seat, and in his most patronizing manner invited the great man to sit down. He then explained the case he had to lay before the Porte. After a long discussson of it, the Grand Vizier looked at his watch, said it was the hour of his prayer, and knelt down at the end of his sofa, as the Turks delight in doing in the presence of foreigners. The Mussulman prayer winds up with a damnatory clause against all infidels, and Raouf Pasha rolled it out in a stentorian voice, as if leveled at his visltor, who knew enough Arabic to understand that a deliberate insult was intended by the emphasis laid on the words. The Grand Vizier then returned to his seat, and resumed the official interview. When the affair under consideration was settled, Mr. Alison in his turn looked at his watch, remarked that it was his prayer-time, and went to the other end of the sofa, where he went through a variety of gestures and genuflexions, ending with a vociferous anathema against all Turks, Mussulmans, and other unbelievers in the holy Christian faith, declaimed in pure Arabic, as understood by all pious Mahometans. He then walked out of the room without taking the least notice of the astounded Grand Vizier. Snake stories are becoming quite common of late days, and some are appalling in their strict adherence to truth; We We looked all that evening for her, but could find no trace of her whereabouts. We came back, but sleep was far from us; we sat and speculated all night. The next day several of the neighbors joined in the search, but to no avail. We camped out that night, and at midnight were aroused by many and loud hissings and rattlings. jumped up and followed in the direction whence the sound came, and had not gone far when we all stopped suddenly, as if we had been rooted to the ground, for before us we beheld our little girl, surrounded by three dozen of rattlesnakes, varying in size from three inches to fifteen feet, the larger ones standing on their tails in a circle with erect bodies and necks curved down toward the head of the infant in the centre. "We looked on in horror, but could do nothing, the girl was in too dangerous a position. But soon after, the snakes having, as we supposed, danced their war dance and sung their war song, the largest ones made each for the lowest branch on one of the trees in a direct line with our cabin. Wrapping one end of their bodies around the branch, they dropped the other end toward the ground. In the meantime, two large snakes had wrapped their bodies around the child, so that one of their heads was on one side, and the other on the opposite side. One of these snakes then tied itself with the one hanging from above; they then swung themselves, together with the child, till the other snake on the child could catch the snake hanging on the adjoining tree, when the former let go and the latter swung the child to the next. During this novel proceeding, the other snakes kept up an incessant jubilee rattle till the child was landed inside our cabin, safe and sound, when they once more repeated the scene in the woods by dancing around her, after which they left." Visitors in foreign lands who do not speak the language are often placed in embarrassing positions. An Englishman in Paris went into a restaurant to get his dinner. Unacquainted with the French language, yet unwilling to show his ignorance, he pointed to the first line on the bill of fare, and the polite waiter brought him a fragrant plate of beefsoup. This was very well, and when it was dispatched he pointed to the second line. The waiter understood him perfectly, and brought him a vegetable soup. "Rather more soup than I want," thought he; "but it is Paris fashion." He duly pointed to the third linə, and a plate of tapioca broth was brought him. Again to the fourth, and was furnished with a bowl of preparation of arrow-root. He tried the fifth line, and was supplied with some gruel kept for invalids. The bystanders now supposed that they saw an unfortunate individual who had lost all his teeth, and our friend, determined to get as far from the soup as possible, pointed in despair to the last line on the bill of fare. The intelligent waiter, who saw at once what he wanted, politely handed him a bunch of toothpicks! This was too much; the Englishman paid his bill and left. A writer who has traveled in the Western States has discovered the scale by which titles are given: as " A speaker at an American "Convention," being addressed He owned that he did, and in a house with two chimneys. "Then I was right," exclaimed the man. "Over there if a man has three chimneys on his house, he's a general; if two, he's a colonel; if only one, he's a major; and if he lives in a dug-out and has no chimney, he's a captain, anyhow." The power that lies in a name is instanced in a striking manner by the following anecdote: Mr. Rushum was a peculiar man in one respect. He never had any money, never paid a debt if it was possible to avoid it, and yet he managed to owe almost every one who knew him, and it was astonishing what a number of ac-. quaintances he had and how often they called on him. "My dear sir," Rushum would say, with a benevolent smile to a creditor who called for money, "I mean to pay that little bill; in fact, it should have been paid before, but I was disappointed in not receiving some money which I had calculated on. Mr. Cash owes me money, and I have expected it every day for a month. When he pays up, I'll pay you." At the mention of Mr. Cash's name the confiding creditor always pricked up his ears and appeared to take courage, and in this way, continually keeping Cash's name in the foreground, Rushum was enabled to move along and contract new debts. One day, Cash, who was noted for his wealth, called on Rushum. "Look here," said the former, "I owe you ten dollars. Give me a receipt and I'll pay you." "In the name of heaven I beg of you not to do it!" cried Rushum in alarm, all of his cool assurance leaving him. Cash looked at the man in astonishment. "Don't want your pay ?" he gasped. "Not a shilling of it. Keep it for me, and don't pay me until I tell you that I am in earnest in wanting it!" "What is the meaning of it?" "I'll tell you," replied Rushum, in a confidential tone. "By the means of that ten dollars which you owe me, I am enabled to get credit for a thousand, besides bluffing all my old creditors." He applied himself to the training of two crows with such diligence that he brought them to the length of pronouncing, with great distinctness, the one a salutation to Cæsar, and the other a salutation to Antony. When Augustus returned conqueror, the man went out to meet him with a crow suited to the occasion perched on his fist, and every now and then it kept exclaiming, “Salve, Cæsar, Victor, Imperator !"-Hail, Cæsar, Conqueror and Emperor! Augustus, greatly struck and delighted with so novel a circumstance, purchased the bird of the man for a sum which immediately raised him into opulence. OVER THE BANISTER. Over the banister bends a face, Over the banister soft hands fair There's a question asked, there's a swift caress, That shall brighten the world for him alway. A common inscription in front of Neapolitan wine and maccaroni houses is "Domani si fa credenza, ma oggi no." "To-morrow we give credit, but not to-day." A new way of paying old debts: There had been a great deal of bad feeling between two Galveston families; hence, there was much surprise when they intermarried. A friend in speaking to the father of the bride, asked if the families had made friends. 64 Not a bit of it. I hate every bone in my son-in-law's body." 'Why did you let him marry your daughter, then ?” "To get even with him. I guess you don't know that girl's mother as well as I do." "My 'sperience in dis life," said an aged colored individual, "has taught me dat de man who swaps mules wid his eyes shut am sartin to git the wust of it. Brudderly feeling goes a good ways in case of sickness or want or death, but it seldom reaches down to a hoss trade. If I war buyin' a mule of a man I had knowed all my life, I should begin at de hoofs an' look dat animile ober cla'r up to de point of his nose. I shouldn't spect him to tell me dat he had filed down any teef or puttied over any hoof cracks. Cash turned and walked away, marveling at the power of My advice am not to lie or deceive in tradin' mules, but to a name. There is nothing like making sure of results. During the war between Augustus Cæsar and Marc Antony, when all the world stood wondering and uncertain which way Fortune would incline herself, a poor man at Rome, in order to be prepared for making, in either event, a bold hit for his own advancement, had recourse to the following ingenious expedient: answer as few queshuns as you kin an' seem sort o' keerless whedder your offer am 'cepted or not." The numerous instances of mistaken identity on record are constantly receiving new additions. There is an amusing account of a French lady who was very jealous of her husband, and determined to watch his movements. On one occasion, when he told her he was going to Versailles, she followed him, keeping him in sight till she missed him in a passage leading to the railway station. Looking about her "She is my wife!" shouted the angry husband, would never have struck you without a cause." The "and And worse than angry words would probably have happened had not the cause of the whole misunderstanding recovered sufficiently to explain how it all happened. Here is an instance of wit gaining the day in a court room: A liquor case was being tried, and as a part of the evidence a pint of whisky was produced by the Commonwealth, and it was clearly shown that the identical whisky was seized from the premises of the defendant, who had it there with intent to sell, and whom we will call Michael McCarty. It was not a very extensive seizure, but still the intent was just as bad. When the district attorney arose, he stated the case; said that he had no doubt but that his brother on the other side would make fun out of it, as was his wont, and ended by charging the jury to dispassionately try the case simply on its merits. As he sat down, Michael's attorney arose. "Gentlemen of the jury," he said, "the learned district attorney says he wishes you to try this case on its merits. So do we. Michael McCarty, take the stand." but they are so old now, I'm ashamed to call them anything but goats." Then they went to church. The next day Jones's wife had half a dozen pairs of new gloves in a handsome lacquered box of the latest design. A severe repartee is recorded of Foote, the comedian, who, in traveling through the west of England, dined one day at an inn. When the cloth was removed, the landlord asked him how he liked his fare. "I have dined as well as any man in England," said Foote. "Except the mayor," cried the landlord. "I do not except anybody whatever," said he. "I won't!" "You must!" At length the strife ended by the landlord (who was a petty magistrate) taking Foote before the mayor, who observed it had been customary in that town for a great number of years always to "except the mayor," and accordingly fined him a shilling for not conforming to this ancient custom. Upon this discision, Foote paid the shilling, at the same time observing that he thought the landlord the greatest fool in Christendom-except the mayor. The power of becoming invisible has often been displayed by the heroes of fairy tales, and it was formerly believed to be procurable by means of fern-seed; but no peculiar power of rendering people invisible resides espe cially in the seed of the fern. Put on any very seedy suit of clothes, and walk about in the streets, you will very soon find that your acquaintance will pass you without seeing you. Some people do not seem to take a proper interest in anything. A lightning-rod man drove up to a fine new house, out West, and told the man sitting in the door that he ought to have lightning-rods on it. The man said he had not thought about it, but had no objections. So the light Michael did so. He was a great, burly man, with a jolly ning-rod man put a rod up on one corner, and asked the countenance and exceedingly red nose. man, who was still reading the newspaper, if he had any objections to his putting up rods on the other corners, and the man said no. When the job was done, the peddler presented his bill. "Michael," continued his lawyer, "look upon the jury, Gentlemen of the jury, look upon Michael McCarty. Notice his beaming countenance, his jolly, rubicund face; and now, gentlemen of the jury, do you believe, and are you prepared to state on your oaths, beyond a reasonable doubt, that if Michael McCarty had a pint of whisky he would sell it?" It is needless to say that they didn't. Too Old.-Mr. and Mrs. Jones were starting for church. "Wait, dear," said the lady, "I've forgotten something; won't you go up stairs and get my goats off the bureau ?" "Your goats!" replied Jones; "what new-fangled thing's that?" “I'll show you," remarked the wife. And she sailed up the stairs and down again with a pair of kids on her hands. "There they are," said she. Why, I call those things kids," said the surprised husband. "Oh, do you?" snapped the wife. "Well, so did I once, |