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and let us knog our prains together, to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion, the host of the Garter.

Caius. By gar, vit all my heart: he promise to bring me vere is Anne Page: by gar, he deceive me too.

Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles:---Pray you, follow. [Exeunt.

SCENE II. - THE STREET IN WINDSOR.
Enter Mrs Page and Robin.

Mrs Page. Nay, keep your way, little gallant; you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader: Whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?

Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.

Mrs Page. O you are a flattering boy; now, I see, you'll be a courtier.

Enter Ford.

F. Wellmet, mistress Page: Whither go you? Mrs Page. Truly, sir, to see your wife: Is she at home?

Ford. Ay; and as idle as she may hang together, for want of company: I think if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.

Mrs P. Be sure of that, -two other husbands.

For. Where had you this pretty weather-cock? Mrs Page. I cannot tell what his name is my husband had him of: What do you call your knight's name, sirrah?

Rob. Sir John Falstaff.

Ford. Sir John Falstaff?

Mrs Page. He, he; I can never hit on's name. There is such a league between my good man and he!-Is your wife at home, indeed?

Ford. Indeed, she is.

Mrs Page. By your leave, sir; -I am sick, till [Exeunt Mrs Page and Robin. I see her.

Ford. Has Page any brains? hath he any

eyes; hath he any thinking? Sure they sleep; he hath no use of them. Why, this boy will carry a letter twenty miles, as easy as a cannon will shoot point-blank twelve score. He piecesout his wife's inclination; he gives her folly motion, and advantage; and now she's going to my wife, and Falstaff's boy with her. A man may hear this shower sing in the wind!-and Falstaff's boy with her!-Good plots!-they are laid; and our revolted wives share damnation together. Well; I will take him, then torture my wife, pluck the borrowed veil of modesty from the so seeming mistress Page, divulge Page himself for a secure and wilful Actæon; and to these violent proceedings all my neighbours shall cry aim1 [Clock strikes.] The clock gives me my cue, and my assurance bids me search;

there I shall find Falstaff: I shall be rather

praised for this than mocked; foritis as positive as the earth is firm, that Falstaff is there: I will go.

Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host, Sir Hugh Evans, Caius, and Rugby.

Shal., Page, &c. Well met, master Ford. Ford. Trust me, a good knot: I have good cheer at home; and I pray you, all go with me. 1 Encouragement.

Shal. I must excuse myself, master Ford. Slen. And so must I, sir; we have appointed to dine with Mistress Anne, and I would not break with her for more money than I'll speak of.

Shal. We have lingered about a match between Anne Page and my cousin Slender, and this day we shall have our answer.

Slen. I hope I have your good-will, father Page. Page. You have, master Slender; I stand wholly for you:-but my wife, master doctor, is for you altogether.

Caius. Ay, by gar; and de maid is love-a me; my nursh-a Quickly tell me so mush.

Host. What say you to young master Fenton? he capers, he dances, he has eyes of youth, he writes verses, he speaks holyday; he smells April and May: he will carry't, he will carry't.

Page. Not by my consent, I promise you. The gentleman is of no having: he kept company with the wild Prince and Poins; he is of too high a region, he knows too much. No, he shall not knit a knot in his fortunes with the finger of my substance: if he take her, let him take her simply; the wealth I have, waits on my consent, and my consent goes not that way.

Ford. I beseech you, heartily, some of you go home with me to dinner: besides your cheer, you shall have sport; I will show you a monster. - Master doctor, you shall go ;-so shall you, master Page:-and you, Sir Hugh.

Shal. Well, fare you well: we shall have the freer wooing at master Page's.

[Exeunt Shallow and Slender. Caius. Go home, John Rugby; I come anon. Exit Rugby. Host. Farewell, my hearts: I will to my honest knight Falstaff, and drink canary with him. [Exit Host.

Ford. [Aside.] I think, I shall drink in pipewine first with him; I'll make him dance. Will you go, gentles?

All. Havewith you, to see this monster. [Exeunt.
SCENE III. -A ROOM IN FORD'S HOUSE.
Enter Mrs Ford and Mrs Page.
Mrs Ford. What, John! what, Robert!
Mrs P. Quickly, quickly: Is the buck-basket-
Mrs Ford. I warrant:----What, Robin, I say.

Enter Servants with a basket.

Mrs Page. Come, come, come.
Mrs Ford. Here, set it down.

Mrs Page. Give your men the charge; we must be brief.

Mrs Ford. Marry, as I told you before, Join and Robert, be ready here hard by in the brewhouse; and when I suddenly call you, come forth, and (without any pause, or staggering,) take this basket on your shoulders: that done, trudge with it in all haste, and carry it the whitsters1 in Datchet-mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch, close by the Thames' side. Mrs Page. You will do it?

among

Mrs Ford. I have told them over and over; they lack no direction: Begone, and come when you are called. [Exeunt Servants.

Mrs Page. Here comes little Robin, 1 Bleachers.

Enter Robin.

Mrs Ford. How now, my eyas-musket?1 what news with you?

Rob. My master Sir John is come in at your back-door, mistress Ford; and requests your company.

Mrs Page. You little Jack-a-lent, 2 have you

been true to us?

Rob. Ay, I'll be sworn: My master knows not of your being here: and hath threatened to put me into everlasting liberty, if I tell you of it; for, he swears, he'll turn me away.

Mrs Page. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and hose. I'll go hide me. Mrs Ford. Do so:-Go tell thy master, I am alone. Mistress Page, remember you your cue. [Exit Robin.

Mrs Page. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me. [Exit Mrs Page. Mrs Ford. Go to, then; we'll use this gross watery pumpion; we'll teach him to know turtles from jays.

Enter Falstaff.

Fal. Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel! Why, now let me die, for I have lived long enough: this is the period of my ambition: O

this blessed hour!

Mrs Ford. O sweet Sir John!

Fal. Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish: I would thy husband were dead: I'll speak it before the best lord, I would make thee my lady.

Mrs Ford. I your lady, Sir John! alas, I

should be a pitiful lady.

Fal. Let the court of France show me such another: I see how thine eye would emulate the diamond: Thou hast the right arched bent of the brow, that becomes the ship-tire, the tirevaliant, or any tire of Venetian admittance. Mrs F. A plain kerchief, Sir John: my brows become nothing else; nor that well neither.

Fal. Thou art a traitor to say so: thou would'st make an absolute courtier: and the firm fixture of thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait, in a semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if fortune thy foe were not; nature is thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

Mrs F. Believe me, there's no such thing in me. Fal. What made me love thee? let that persuade thee, there's something extraordinary in thee. Come, I cannot cog, and say, thou art this and that, like a many of these lisping hawthorn buds, that come like women in men's apparel; and smell like Bucklers-bury in simpletime, I cannot: but I love thee; none but thee; and thou deservest it.

Mrs Ford. Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love mistress Page.

Fal. Thou might'st as well say, I love to walk by the Counter-gate; which is as hateful to me as the reek of a lime-kiln.

Mrs Ford. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you shall one day find it.

1 Young hawk. 2 Puppet.
4 Formerly inhabited by druggists.

3 Wheedle.

Fal. Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it. Mrs Ford. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

Rob. [within.] Mistress Ford, mistress Ford! here's mistress Page at the door, sweating, aná blowing, and looking wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

Fal. She shall not see me; I will esconce me behind the arras.

Mrs Ford. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling woman. [Falstaff hides himself.

Enter Mrs Page and Robin. What's the matter? how now?

Mrs Page. O mistress Ford, what have you done? You're shamed, you are overthrown, you are undone for ever.

Mrs F. What's the matter, good mistress Page? Mrs P. O well-a-day, mistress Ford! having an honest man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

Mrs Ford. What cause of suspicion?

Mrs Page. What cause of suspicion!-Out upon you! how am I mistook in you?

Mrs Ford. Why, alas! what's the matter? Mrs Page. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all the officers in Windsor, to search for a gentleman, that, he says, is here, now in the house, by your consent, to take an ill advantage of his absence: you are undone. Mrs Ford. Speak louder [Aside.] 'Tis not so, I hope.

Mrs Page. Pray heaven it be not so, that you have such a man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I come before to tell you: If you know yourself clear, why I am glad of it: but if you have a friend here, convey, convey him out. Be not amazed; call all your senses to you: defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.

Mrs F. What shall I do? There is a gentleman, my dear friend; and I fear not mine own shame, so much as his peril: I had rather than a thousand pounds he were out of the house.

Mrs Page. For shame, never stand you had rather, and you had rather; your husband's here at hand, bethink you of some conveyance: in the house you cannot hide him. O, how have you deceived me!-Look, here is a basket: if he be of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking:1 Or, it is whiting-time, 2 send him by your two men to Datchet-mead. Mrs Ford. He 's too big to go in there: What shall I do?

Re-enter Falstaff.

Fal. Let me see't! let me see't! Olet me see't! I'll in, I'll in;-follow your friend's counsel;I'll in.

Mrs Page. What! Sir John Falstaff! Are these your letters, knight?

Fal. I love thee, and none but thee; help me away: let me creep in here; I'll never

[He goes into the basket; they cover him with foul linen.

Mrs Page. Help to cover your master, boy: 1 Washing. 2 Bleaching time.

Call your men, mistress Ford:-You dissembling knight.

Mrs Ford. What, John, Robert, John! [Exit Robin; Re-enter Servants.) Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; Where's the cowl-staff?1 look, how you drumble; 2 carry them to the laundress in Datchet-mead; quickly, come.

Enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford. Pray you, come near: if I suspect with out cause, why then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve it.-How now? whither bear you this?

Serv. To the laundress, forsooth. Mrs Ford. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it? You were best meddle with buckwashing.

Ford. Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck! Buck, buck, buck? Ay, buck; I warrant you, buck; and of the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt Servants with the basket.] Gentlemen, I have dreamed to-night: I'll tell you my dream. Here, here, here be my keys: ascend my chambers, search, seek, find out: I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox:-Let me stop this way first:- So now uncape. 3

Page. Good master Ford, be contented: you wrong yourself too much.

F. True, master Page. -Up, gentlemen; you shall see sport anon: follow me, gentlemen. [Exit. Eva. This is fery fantastical humours, and jealousies.

Caius. By gar, 'tis no de fashion of France: it is not jealous in France.

P.Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his search. [Exeunt Evans, Page, and Caius. Mrs Page. Is there not a double excellency in this?

Mrs Ford. I know not which pleases me better, that my husband is deceived, or Sir John.

Mrs Page. What a taking was he in, when your husband asked who was in the basket!

Mrs Ford. Throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.

Mrs P. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the same strain were in the same distress. Mrs Ford. I think my husband hath some special suspicion of Falstaff's being here; for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now. Mrs P. I will lay a plot to try that: And we will yet have more tricks with Falstaff: his dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.

Mrs Ford. Shall we send that foolish carrion, mistress Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water; and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?

Mrs Page. We'll do it; let him be sent for to-morrow eight o'clock, to have amends.

Re-enter Ford, Page, Caius, and Sir Hugh Evans.

Ford. I cannot find him: may be the knave bragged of that he could not compass.

Mrs Page. Heard you that?

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master Ford.

Ford. Ay, ay; I must bear it.

Eva. If there be any pody in the house, and in the chambers, and in the coffers, and in the presses, heaven forgive my sins!

Caius. By gar, nor I too; dere is no bodies. Page. Fie, fie, master Ford! are you not ashamed? What spirit, what devil suggests this imagination? I would not have your distemper in this kind, for the wealth of Windsor Castle.

F. 'Tis my fault, master Page: I suffer for it. Eva. You suffer for a pad conscience; your wife is as honest a 'omans, as I will desires among five thousand, and five hundred too.

Caius. By gar, I see 'tis an honest woman. Ford. Well;-I promised you a dinner:Come, come, walk in the park: I pray you, pardon me; I will hereafter make known to you why I have done this. -Come, wife;-come mistress Page: I pray you, pardon me; pray heartily, pardon me.

Page. Let's go in, gentlemen; but, trust me, we'll mock him. I do invite you to-morrow morning to my house to breakfast; after, we'll a-birding together; I have a fire hawk for the bush: Shall it be so?

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SCENE IV. A ROOM IN PAGE'S HOUSE.

Enter Fenton and Mistress Anne Page. Fent. I see, I cannot get thy father's love; Therefore, no more turn me to him, sweet Nan. Anne. Alas! how then? Fent.

Why, thou must be thyself.

He doth object, I am too great of birth;
And that, my state being gall'd with my ex-
I seek to heal it only by his wealth: [pence,
Besides these, other bars he lays before me,-
My riots past, my wild societies;
And tells me, 'tis a thing impossible
I should love thee, but as a property.
Anne. May be, he tells you true.

Fent. No, heaven so speed me in my time to
Albeit, I will confess thy father's wealth [come!
Was the first motive that I woo'd thee, Annes
Yet, wooing thee, I found thee of more value
Than stamps in gold, or sums in sealed bags:
And 'tis the very riches of thyself
That now I aim at.
Anne.

Gentle master Fenton,

Mrs Ford. Ay, ay, peace:---You use me well, Yet seek my father's love: still seek it, sir; master Ford, do you?

1 For carrying a basket between two men. 2 Loiter.

8 Unbag the fox.

If opportunity and humblest suit,

Cannot attain it, why then.-Hark you hither. [They converse apart.

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Quick. And how does good master Fenton? Pray you, a word with you.

Shal. She's coming; to her, coz. O boy, thou hadst a father.

Fent. Good mistress Page, for that I love your In such a righteous fashion as I [daughter

Perforce, against all checks, rebukes, and man

I must advance the colours of my love, (ners,

And not retire: Let me have your good will. A. Good mother, do not marry me to yond' fool. Mrs P. I mean it not; I seek you a better husQ. That's my master, master doctor. [band. Anne. Alas, I had rather be set quick i' the [earth,

And bowl'd to death with turnips.

Mrs Page. Come, trouble not yourself: Good master Fenton.

I will not be your friend, nor enemy:
My daughter will I question how she loves you,
And as I find her, so am I affected;
'Till then, farewell sir:-She must needs go in;
Her father will be angry.

[Exeunt Mrs Page and Anne. F. Farewell, gentle mistress; farewell, Nan. Quick. This is my doing, now;-Nay, said I,

Slen. I had a father, mistress Anne; my uncle can tell you good jests of him:-Pray you, uncle, will you cast away your child on a fool, and a

tell mistress Anne the jest, how my father stole two geese out of a pen, good uncle.

Shal. Mistress Anne, my cousin loves you. Slen. Ay, that I do; as well as I love any

woman in Gloucestershire.

S. He vill maintain you like a gentlewoman. Sien. Ay, that I will, come cut and long-tail,

under the degree of a 'squire.

Shal. He will make you a hundred and fifty

pounds jointure.

Anne. Good master Shallow, let him woo for himself.

Shal. Marry, I thank you for it; I thank you for that good comfort. She calls you, coz: I'll leave you.

Anne. Now, master Slender.

Slen. Now, good mistress Anne.
Anne. What is your will?

Slen. My will? od's heartlings, that's a pretty jest indeed! I ne'er made my will yet, I thank heaven; I am not such a sickly creature, I give heaven praise.

Anne. I mean, master Slender, what would you with me?

Slen. Truly, for mine own part, I would little or nothing with you: Your father, and my uncle, have made motions: if it be my luck, so: if not, happy man be his dole! They can tell you how things go, better than I can: You may ask your father; here he comes.

Enter Page and Mistress Page.

Page. Now, master Slender: - Love him, daughter Anne.

Why, how now! what does master Fenton here?
You wrong me, sir, thus still to haunt my house:
I told you, sir, my daughter is dispos'd of.
Fent. Nay, master Page, be not impatient.
Mrs P. Good master Fenton, come not to my
Page. She is no match for you.
[child.
Fent. Sir, will you hear me?
Page.

No, good master Fenton. Come, master Shallow: come, son Slender; in:Knowing mymind, youwrong me, master Fenton. [Exeunt Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Quick. Speak to mistress Page.

physician? Look on master Fenton:-this is my doing. [night Fent. I thank thee; and I pray thee, once toGive my sweet Nan this ring: There's for thy

pains.

[Exit. Quick. Now heaven send thee good fortune! A

kind heart he hath: a woman would run through

fire and water for such a kind heart. But yet,

I would my master had mistress Anne; or I would master Slender had her; or, in sooth, I would master Fenton had her: I will do what I can for them all three; for so I have promised, and I'll be as good as my word; but speciously 1 for master Fenton. Well, I must of another errand to Sir John Falstaff from my two mistresses: What a beast am I to slack2 it. [Exit.

SCENE V.-A ROOM IN THE GARTER INN.
Enter Falstaff and Bardolph.

Fal. Bardolph, I say, -
Bard. Here, sir.

R. Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in't. [Exit Bard.] Have I lived to be carried in a basket, like a barrow of butcher's offal? and to be thrown into the Thames? Well; if I be served such another trick, I'll have my brains ta'en out, and buttered, and give them to a dog for a new year's gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little remorse as they would have drowned blind puppies, fifteen i' the litter: and you may know by my size, that I have a kind of alacrity in sinking; if the bottom were ever so deep, I should down. I had been drowned, but that the shore was shelvy and shallow: a death that I abhor; for the water swells a man; and what a thing should I have been, when I had been swelled! I should have been a mountain of mummy.

Re-enter Bardolph, with the wine.

Bard. Here's mistress Quickly, sir, to speak with you.

Fal. Come, let me pour in some sack to the Thames water; for my inside's as cold as if I had swallowed snow-balls. Call her in. Bard. Come in, woman, 1 Specially.

1 A long arrow. A thick short arrow 8 Lot.

2 Neglect.

Enter Mrs Quickly.

Quick. By your leave; I cry you mercy: Give your worship good-morrow.

Fal. Take away these chalices: Go brew me a pottle of sack finely.-[Exit Bardolph.]

How now?

Quick. Marry, sir, I come to your worship from mistress Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford! I have had ford enough: I was thrown into the ford.

Quick. Alas the day! good heart, that was not her fault; she does so take on with her men; they mistook their erection.

Fal. So did I mine, to build upon a foolish woman's promise.

Quick. Well, she laments, sir, for it, that it would yearn your heart to see it. Her husband goes this morning a-birding; she desires you once more to come to her between eight and nine: I must carry her word quickly; she'll make you amends, I warrant you.

Fal. Well, I will visit her: Tell her so; and bid her think, what a man is: let her consider his frailty, and then judge of my merit.

Quick. I will tell her.
Fal. Do so. Between nine and ten, say'st thou?
Quick. Eight and nine, sir.

Fal. Well, be gone: I will not miss her.
Quick. Peace be with you, sir.
[Exit.

Fal. I marvel, I hear not of master Brook; he sent me word to stay within: I like his money well. O, here he comes.

Enter Ford.

Ford. Bless you, sir!

Fal. Now, master Brook? you come to know what hath passed between me and Ford's wife? Ford. That, indeed, Sir John, is my business. Fal. Master Brook, I will not lie to you; I was at her house the hour she appointed me. Ford. And how sped you, sir?

Fal. Very ill-favouredly, master Brook. Ford. How so, sir? Did she change her determination?

Fal. No, master Brook; but the peaking cornuto, her husband, master Brook, dwelling in a continual 'larum of jealousy, comes me in the instant of our encounter, after we had embraced, kissed, protested, and, as it were, spoke the prologue of our comedy; and at his heels a rabble of his companions, thither provoked and instigated by his distemper, and, forsooth, to search his house for his wife's love.

Ford. What, while you were there?
Fal. While I was there.

Ford. And did he search for you, and could

not find you?

Fal. You shall hear. As good luck would have it, comes in one mistress Page; gives intelligence of Ford's approach; and, by her invention, and Ford's wife's distraction, they conveyed me into a buck-basket!

Ford. A buck-basket?

Fal. Yea, a buck-basket: rammed me in with foul shirts and socks. foul stockings, and greasy napkins; that, master Brook, there was the rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril,

Ford. And how long lay you there?

Fal. Nay, you shall hear, master Brook, what I have suffered to bring this woman to evil for your good. Being thus crammed in the basket, a couple of Ford's knaves, his hinds, were called forth by their mistress, to carry me in the name of foul clothes to Datchet-lane: they took me on their shoulders met the jealous knave their master in the door; who asked them once or twice what they had in their basket: I quaked for fear, lest the lunatic knave would have searched it but Fate held his hand. Well; on went he for a search, and away went I for foul clothes. But mark the sequel, master Brook: I suffered the pangs of three several deaths: first, an intolerable fright, to be detected with a jealous bell-wether; next, to be compassed like a good bilbo, in the circumference of a peck, hilt to point, heel to head: and then, to be stopped in, like a strong distillation, with stinking clothes: think of that a man of my kidney, think of that; that am as subject to heat as butter; a man of continual dissolution and thaw; it was a miracle to 'scape suffocation. And in the height of this bath, when I was more than half-stewed in grease, like a Dutch dish, to be thrown into the Thames, and cooled, glowing hot, in that surge, like a horse-shoe; think of that;-hissing hot, think of that, master Brook.

Ford. In good sadness, sir, I am sorry that for my sake you have suffered all this. Mysuit then is desperate; you'll undertake her no more?

Fal. Master Brook, I will be thrown into Ætna, as I have been into Thames, ere I will leave her thus. Her husband is this morning gonea-birding: Ihavereceived from her another embassy of meeting; 'twixt eight and nine is the hour, master Brook.

Ford. 'Tis past eight already, sir.

F. Isit? I will then address me to my appointment. Come to me at your convenient leisure, and you shall know how I speed; and the conclusion shall be crowned with your having her: Adieu. Youshall have her, master Brook. [Exit.

Ford. Hum! ha! is this a vision? is this a dream? do I sleep? master Ford, awake; awake, master Ford; there's a hole made in your best coat, master Ford. This 'tis to be married! this 'tis to have linen and buck-baskets!-Well, I will proclaim myself what I am: I will now take the lecher; he is at my house: he cannot 'scape me; 'tis impossible he should; he cannot creep into a halfpenny purse, nor into a pepper-box; but, lest the devil that guides him should aid him, I will search impossible places. Though what I am I cannot avoid, yet to be what I would not, shall not make me tame: if I have horns to make one mad, let the proverb go with me, I'll be horn mad. [Exit.

Act Fourth.

SCENE I.-A ROOM IN FORD'S HOUSE,
Enter Falstaff and Mrs Ford.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance: I see you are obsequious in your 1 Blade.

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