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paying court to him. I swear, he look'd like the Grand Signior with a seraglio at his heels.

Cle. But it all won't do. I am the favoured sultaua. Enter CAUSTIC at the top of the stage, C. bowing to a number of ladies about him, who pass off.

Cau. Ma'am, your most obedient-miss, your devoted. Good day, madam-oh, miss, happy to see you! [Coming forward.] Oh, my back! my back! I must go home! .Ha, ha! but I can't help laughing at the absurd adulation paid me. I, who was yesterday a sour curmudgeon, am, to-day, the 'monopolizer of all human excellence. Oh, my poor back! Oh, world, world!

Cle. (c.) How do you do, sir?

Cau. [L. C. bows.] Your most obedient.

Cle. I hope, sir, you approve of our music and gala. Cau. To say the truth, madam, I preferred my own. Cle. Your own, I vow.-Pray, when did you give a gala, Mr. Caustic?

Cau. In the last frost, madam, to two hundred paupers and their helpless families-and we had our dancing, too, ma'am: for the little chubby brats, in merry antics, gambol'd round my knees and we had music, too, madam; for the widows sung for joy.

Cle. Oh, charming!

Das. (R. c.) Damn'd fine, indeed! I think with you, certainly, sir, that-what the devil is the word-benevolence, is it not?

Cle. Yes, there is such a word.

Das. Ay-benevolence, virtue, and all that, are at times extremely amusing.

Cau. Amusing! sir, virtue is the business of our lives; all else is its idleness.

Cle. I vow, sir, I was shock'd to see you so teazed by the fulsome attentions of the women. Flattery is not the way to secure the approbation of a man

Das. Of your fine feelings and understanding.

Cau. It is not, indeed! [Aside.] Madam, Mr. Allspice wants you.

Das. Favour me with your hand.

Cle. Sir, your devoted. Ah, what worlds of feeling! Das. What oceans of sense! [Apart.] I fancy we've tickled him in a capital style.

Cle. Very neatly, too! ha, ha!

[Exeunt, R., smiling and nodding approbation of each


Cau. These excite but laughter and contempt; but my vexatious nephew's tormenting-but this I'm resolved on-if ever again he dare to

Enter TANGENT, L., not observing Caustic, who
retires up, R.

Tan. Julia Faulkner! Julia Faulkner! by heaven, her beauty might set the world at war, and make another siege of Troy! and oh! were I general at that siege, I'd build castles

Cau. Ay, that you would!

Tan. 'Sdeath! what should oppose me? Sword in hand I'd storm the breach-[Pushing between two chairs.] I'd fire the palace, pull down the gate-[Snatches up a chair.] and rush into her ams- -[Is near embracing Caustic.]-ah, uncle, is it you?

Cau. Keep off! how dare you approach me, you-are

you not a pretty fellow ?

Tan. So the ladies say, sir.

Cau. And a fool.

Tan. So I say, sir.

Cau. And a libertine?

Tan. So you say, sir.

Cau. And what do you say for yourself?-A profess'd

libertine ?

Tan. I say that I practise what more than you moralists can say.

profess; which is

Cau. Psha! and the world says you're a coxcomb. Tan. Damn the world, then, for making me one. How the devil can I help being a coxcomb, when I see a flattering fool, like myself, idolized, and modest worth despised? Uncle, the temple of folly would soon be without votaries, had it not the world for its worshippers.

Cau. But, zounds! did the world clap you on the woolsack? did the world put you on an apron, or desire you to make another siege of Troy?

Tan. Upon my soul, I'm ashamed of myself; but by future perseverence and diligence, I'll atone for my follies. Come, uncle, forgive the past-shake hands.

Cau. No-well-there--ay, Frank, persevere, and you may soon convert you air-built castle into a solid one of brick and mortar.

Tun. True; then every one will say, his character does not rest on the flimsy basis of hereditary worth, but on the noble exertion of talent.

Cau. That's well said.

Tan. Then I, with conscious dignity, will walk through my hall-my servants ranged on each side--I bend to them with ease, call my agent, and say to him, distribute a hundred pounds to-

Cau. Death and fury, you're at it again!
Tan. No, no-that was only

'Sdeath! what is

Cau. What will drive me mad. talent without the will and means to exert it? 'Tis Newton without his telescope, or Handel without his organ. Remember, this is your last, last warning! [Exit, L. Tan. He's certainly right that Handel was a great man; and, though bereft of one sense, how amply was another gratified! For what can strike more gratefully on the heart, than hearing the honourable applause of an impartial public? [Sits at the table, R.


Enter CAUSTIC cautiously, at the top of the stage, c. Cau. I'll just take a peep, and see the effect my lecture has had.

Tan. Though Handel was blind, how I envy him his sensations, when, seated before an enraptured audience, he thus began, and charmed all hearts. [Shuts his eyes, and plays on the table.] Oh, charming! bravo!

Cau. [Advancing to the front of him, and striking the table with his stick.] You villain! if ever I speak to you again, may II discard you for ever-for ever-and for ever! [Exit hastily, R. Tan. Oh, confound this crack'd head! what a scrape have I got into.


Cle. (R.) Mr. Tangent!

Cle. (c.) So, here's the wife he intends for me. Marry her, and doat on Julia. Sweet situation mine would be! I can very well fancy myself

Cle. Brute! sir, my pa wishes to speak

Tan. I'll come to your pa. [Ruminating, and not looking at her.] No, Julia, I'll be only thine-I'll come to your pa.

Cle. This way, sir.

Tan. [Rising and following.] I'll come to your pa—I'll be only thine, my Julia-I'll come to your pa.

[Follows Clementina to one side of the stage, and walks out, absorbed in thought, at the opposite side.

Cle. Gone! well, this is certainly beyond all the fine breeding I ever saw. Miss Faulkner ?

Enter JULIA, at the top of the stage, c., in great agitation, her hair disordered.

Jul. [Advancing.] Oh, madam, forgive this intrusion -you told me you had a friendship for me. Oh, show it now! my father is arrested-in a dreadful situation[Kneeling. Cle. So are you, my dear, in a dreadful situation. Never kneel in a public room.

Jul. [Rises.] Madam, I said my dear father, the beloved author of my being, is in a prison,

Cle. Well?

Jul. Well we're ruined, madam.

Cle. That's certainly extremely disagreeable.

Jul. What shall I do?

Cle. Oh, my dear, don't mind it.


Arrested! nothing

can be more fashionable. I dare say all will be well Good bye! I'm sorry I can't assist you; but the guinea loo-table waits for me. Pray come and see me when your affairs are settled! Good bye, my dear! good by! good by! [Exit, R.

Jul. This, in prosperity, was my warmest friend. Alas! such friends, are as the leaves that clothe the tree in the genial summer, but leave it naked to the winter's blast. Whither shall I go?-Heavens! Mr. Tangent!

Enter TANGENT, L., musing.

Jul. Sir-hold! did not my father forbid my speaking to him? But is not that father in want?

Tan. Married to a woman I dislike.

[Sits at the table, 1.

Jul. Married! oh my heart! Julia, this is no time for thy sorrows.

Tan. 'Sdeath! If I'm miserable, what signifies my having thousands in my pockets?

Jul. How fortunate!

Tan. Marry for thirty thousand! psha! [Takes the dice-box.] With decent luck, I'd win it in ten minutes. -Did you say, sir, you'd set me five hundred ?-done! Seven's the main, and six I have-off in two throws, a thousand-done-six it is! bravo! Come, gentlemen, a thousand each, if you please.

Jul. [Goes up to him.] Mr. Tangent, I want

Tan. Double or quit? you shall have it. [Turning round.] Heavens! Miss Faulkner! damn this head of mine!, it's in such a whirl

Jul. Oh, sir, pity and relieve

[They advance to the front.

Enter DASHALL at the back scene, C.; he remains unseen by Tangent and Julia.

Tan. (c.) Madam!

Das. Aside.] What's here? fine girl, faith!

Jul. (R. C.) I know my behaviour is wild, is imprudent; but my excuse is, a father in prison and brokenhearted-save but him. For myself I care not.

Tan. [Musing, aside.] By heaven, she puts herself in my power, and what an exquisite temptation! Here's an opportunity to establish my character as a man of gallantry! hold! here's an opportunity to establish my reputation as a man of honour. The father of my love in prison, and I without change for sixpenceI'll go this instant and borrow money at five hundred per cent.-I'll[Going. Jul. I'm sure you'll relieve me--I'm sure you have a generous heart. The debt is but fifty pounds. I heard you say you had thousands in your pocket.

Tan. [Confused.] Yes, yes, ma'am, I said-that-that I-that is, I-Oh! curse this crack'd head! but I'll get the money instantly. Miss Faulkner, it is with shame and confusion I declare that, at this moment, it is not in my power to be of the least assistance.

[Exit, L. Jul. Is it possible? is this the man to whom I've given my heart ?-'tis too much! [Is near fainting, when Dushall runs to her assistance.] Ah! A stranger!

Das. Don't be alarmed, young lady. [Aside.] I see I must give her a touch of the sober citizen. Madam, I heard your distress-I am inquisitive after sorrow-I possess a large fortune, 'tis true, but only in trust for the worthy who want it. A sober plodding citizen, as you see, plain in my manners, plainer in my dress-despise powder and embroidery-a mere London merchant! Jul. (R. C.) The world knows their benevolence.

Das. (c.) Pretty well. But you must not suppose all London merchants like me.

Jul. Will you, sir-will you, then, save my father! I can't express what I feel.

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