Page images
PDF
EPUB

heart. Perhaps it may be concealed-at least I'll try to think so. Julia! my daughter!

Enter JULIA, L.

Jul. My dearest father!

Fau. My child! thou art this day of age.

Jul. Yes, sir. [Averting her face with dejection-then recovering herself.] I beg your pardon.

Fau. Heiress of penury! My darling girl! Oh, had heaven so willed it, this had been a morning that pleasure might have long'd for. The sad reverse made sleep a stranger to me. I rose, and gave thee, Julia, all a poor fond father could-a blessing at the throne of mercy.

Jul. More rich, more valued, than all the splendour we have lost. Indeed, I grieve not for it. Pray, sir, be cheerful, as we are above the reach of want.

Fau. Oh! [Stifling a groan.] True, my love; return to your harp-I expect my attorney-he despatched, I'll come to thee. Sure, he stays !-What says my watch? -hold-I forgot I had parted with it.

[Aside. Jul. How fortunate! Look, sir, I've made a purchase for you. [Showing a watch.] Since you lost your's, you have been less punctual in coming home, and I have been the loser of many a happy hour-'tis quite a bargain-the man will call to-day for the money.

Fau. How unlucky!

Jul. You are not angry! You cannot be! What, not a kiss for my attention?

Fau. My only comfort! [Kisses her.] Here's a banknote-pay for your purchase, and employ the rest in procuring our household wants. Go in-a thousand blessings on thee? [Exit Julia, L.] Poor luckless wench! Oh, how willingly would I lay down this life, but for thy sake, my child!

M'Que. [Without, R. D.] Captain Faulkner !

[Faulkner goes to the door, R. and opens it.

Enter M'QUERY, R.D.

Fau. Ah, my attorney! Speak, tell me, relieve the sufferings of a parent's heart-am I to despair? [M‘Query shakes his head.] Is there a hope?

M'Que. (R. C.) Here's a letter.

[Faulkner opens it with trepidation, and gives it to M'Query.

Fau. Pray read it.

M'Que. [Reads.] "Sir, I am sorry that, instead of congratulating you on the recovering your valuable estates, I have to inform you, that, by an unlucky and accidental error in our declaration, we were nonsuited. I must trouble you to remit me £200, as I cannot in prudence undertake the continuance of this important cause without the costs being secured to me-Your faithful servant, "DEDIMUS DUPLEX."

Fau. Ruin! ruin!

M'Que. Oh. here's a bit of a postscript-"A Mr. Tangent."

Fau. Who?

[Alarmed. M'Que. What's the matter? [Reads.] "A ̄Mr. Tangent has been frequently inquiring after you.”

Fau. How unlucky!

M'Que. That you did not see him?

Fau. [With hesitation.] Y-ye-ye-yes-sirM'Que. How lucky, then! for I saw him just now. Fau. In this town?

M'Que. Yes; I'll bring him here in a crack. [Going. Fau. Hold! not for the world.

M'Que. Not for the world! what makes you tremble? Oh, ho! there's a bit of a secret, and I must be master of it. [Aside.] Come, an't I your friend! Did not I come and offer my friendship and assistance, without even knowing you?

Fau. You did so.

M'Que. And an't I still ready with my friendship and service? And I will assist you.

Fau. Will you, will you, sir?

Indeed, I want it. Hear, then, my unhappy story; but swear by sacred honour.

M.'Que. If you've a bit of a bible, I'll take my oath ; honour's all moonshine.

Fau. No, sir. Honour is the conservation of society: without it even our virtues would be dangerous. It tempers courage, and vice it puts to shame; it irradiates truth, and mixes up opposing passions in the sweet compound of urbanity.

M'Que. Oh, very true! [Aside.] I'll pop that into my next brief. Oh, it will make a flashy speech for one of our fine pathetic barristers! But now for the secret. Whatever you communicate shall be locked here, upon my honour.

Fau. It was my fate to marry contrary to my father's will, and I was driven by misfortune to India; where, after a residence of eighteen years, the news reached me of my father's decease, and that at his death he had done me the justice he refused me living. I was about to return to England to take possession of my estates, when the service demanded my assistance to check the inroads of a powerful banditti that infested the frontier. In a skirmish, Lieutenant Richmond, a brave lad, fell by my side-he gave to my care one thousand pounds, as a bequest to his friend Mr. Tangent.

M'Que. So far, so well.

Fau. On my return, sir, I found my wife dying. I am sorry to trouble you with hearing my misfortunes. M'Que. Don't mention it-'tis a pleasure-you found your wife dying.

Fau. And my patrimony, as you know, usurped by a distant and wealthy relation-I endeavoured to find Mr. Tangent

M'Que. Oh no!

Fau. Indeed, I did, sir-distresses came upon mearrears for my daughter's education-the expenses of my wife's funeral[Weeps. M'Que. [Aside.] Nobody would grudge that, sure. Fau. And the hopes of recovering my right by law, induced me, sir, to-to

M'Que. Make use of Mr. Tangent's money.

Fau. Y-yes, sir. I doubted not but I could soon replace it. I had considerable prize-money due-ay, and somewhat hardly earned; but it is not paid. Involved with agents, proctors

M'Que. Ay, and sweet pretty picking it is.

Fau. Then, sir, I hoped soon to recover my estates. But the progress of the law is, you know, so very slowM'Que. We don't-we don't hurry ourselves, certainly. Fau. Now, sir, would you advance the money to pay Mr.

M'Que. Why, you don't mean to pay it, do you? Fau Sir! [With indignation. M'Que. Don't bother yourself about such a trifle ; pay him! pugh! stuff! Between ourselves, I thought you had been dabbling in a little forgery.

Fau. Villain! [Siezes him; M'Query smiles.] Oh! I beg pardon-you are pleasant.

M'Que. Yes, I am very pleasant; and I wish I could

return the compliment. [Aside.] What a tiger!-However, I'm glad you have the cash, because

Fau. Even now I gave the last guinea I possessed to my daughter.

M'Que. That's unlucky! because here's a little bit of a bill for labour, trouble, care, and diligence, as we say. Fau. [Taking it.] This, then, is your proffered assist

ance.

M'Que. Oh! read it, read it!

an eightpence!

You'll find it right to

Fau. [Reads.] "Attending you frequently to offer my advice and friendship, without being able to meet you, two pounds two." [With severity. M'Que. That's right and proper, and 'tis all like it; but, as you've no cash, you may as well sign a little bit of a bond and judgment: it will make the debt an even fifty.

Fau. Ay, anything.

[Walks about in disorder.

M'Que. "Tis a pity you're so poor.
Fau. Hush! for heaven's sake-
M'Que. I'm worth twenty thousand.
Fau. You're a lucky man, sir.

M'Que. Here's a bond ready.

Fau. Within there! bring pen and ink.

M'Que. Ha, ha! you forget that you have not a parcel of servants now. That's a good one! ha, ha!

We

Fau. [Attempting to laugh.] Ha, ha! I did so, sir.Damnation! is life worth holding on these terms? shall find them in the next room.

M'Que. Now, sir, though you have put yourself in my_power

Fau. Hah! in your power-shallow fool! mark me. Dare but to hint at what I've told you, and, by the honour I have lost, your life pays the forfeit. Do you mark? In your power! do you mark, I say?

M'Que. O yes! I was not in earnest: I was pleasant again. Oh, what a devil he is! "Tis hard to be so poor -I'm worth twenty thousand, every shilling.

Fau. This way. Unfeeling man!

END OF ACT I.

[Exeunt, L.

[ocr errors]

ACT II.

SCENE I.-A Room at Allspice's House-Table and Six Chairs.

Enter CLEMENTINA and FANNY, R.

Cle. (c.) How do I look, Fanny? Do you know, Fanny, my dead aunt was quite teazing; I declare and vow she once sent for me to see her die, and I found her dancing a Scotch reel at an assembly. How horrid provoking! Have you an idea, Fanny, how much one ought to cry for an aunt?

Fan. (R. C.) I don't really know, miss.

Cle. Oh, Fanny! you lived with Lady Eschallot when her husband died. Did she make it a point to take on? Fan. O yes! ma'am.

Cle. Did it tell, Fanny?

Fan. Exceedingly, ma'am.

Cle. I dare say it would be stylish, 'tis so particular. Oh! I shall have oceans of lovers when I get this fortune. 'Tis so shocking to be constant, I vow: after you have cut your jokes and shown your tricks, it grows so insipid, and you do long for another lover in such a style, you've no idea. Here comes pa-Do you know, Fanny, that pa's keeping a shop horrifies me to that de gree[Exit Fanny, R.

Enter ALLSPICE, with his velvet cap and apron on, L. All. (R. C.) Ah, Cleme!-What! dizen'd out-expect to touch the mopusses, eh?

Cle. Indeed, pa, I'm reduced to despair to see you out of mourning.

All. First let's see the will. Time enough to mourn when I find there's something to rejoice at. I wish Caustic would come-busy day, Cleme.-As sheriff, I must usher the judges into the town-as tradesman, must attend my customers; so, what between the judges in the court, and the old women in the shop, I've my hands 'full.

Enter SERVANT, L.

Ser. Mr. Caustic and Mr. M'Query, sir.

Enter CAUSTIC and M'QUERY, L.

All. Ah, friend Caustic! glad to see you--servant,

« PreviousContinue »