I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male DepressionA bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression, essential not only for men who may be suffering but for the people who love them. Twenty years of experience treating men and their families has convinced psychotherapist Terrence Real that depression is a silent epidemic in men—that men hide their condition from family, friends, and themselves to avoid the stigma of depression’s “un-manliness.” Problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behavior, and rage—are really attempts to escape depression. And these escape attempts only hurt the people men love and pass their condition on to their children. This groundbreaking book is the “pathway out of darkness” that these men and their families seek. Real reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons. |
Contents
Preface | 1 |
Prologue | 15 |
Mens Hidden Depression | 21 |
SelfEsteem Shame and Depression | 43 |
Covert Depression and Addiction | 59 |
Trauma and Biology | 87 |
Perpetrating Masculinity | 113 |
The Loss of the Relational | 137 |
Collateral Damage | 161 |
Two Inner Children | 193 |
Healing the Legacy | 229 |
Healing Ourselves | 263 |
Healing Our Relationships | 291 |
Where We Stand | 321 |
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Common terms and phrases
abuse adult aggression alcohol alexithymia angry answers Barbara become begins behavior Billy Billy's boy's boys called Carol Gilligan chair child childhood close Codependence covert depression covertly culture Damien David depres Diane disconnection disorder drugs dysthymia emotional experience eyes face family therapy father feel felt Frank Fuck gender girls grandiosity healing Henry implicit memory inside internal Jeffrey Joe's Josh Journal kids learned lives look male masculinity mean medication Mellody men's Michael Miedzian mother Narcissus never nods nurture Okay pain parents Prince of Tides Psychiatry psychological Psychological Trauma psychotherapy recovery relationship remember role self-esteem self-medication sexual shame sion smiles socialization sons T. S. Eliot talk tell therapist thing Things They Carried Thomas tion told traditional trauma Tsetse fly turn violence vulnerable wife William Styron women wound York young