Vor. Three hundred pounds! Fra. I'll tell you, sur, all about it.-You knaw, sur, feyther have been knuckled out of a most cruel sight of money by you at weagering and cards. Vor. By me, fellow! Do you think I associate with such reptiles? Fra. Ecod, it was either you or t'other gentleman. Fra. I dan't knaw which be which, not I.-There be two of you. Vor. Two of us! Fra. Ees; there be you-that be one; and there be your gentleman he do make the pair. Vor. The pair!-And have I been buying a hundred thousand pounds worth of respect for this? Have I become a member, to pair off with my valet? Fra. Ecod, and a comical pair you be!-T"other gentleman be's a tightish, conceited sort of a chap enough; but you be a little-he! he! [Smothering a laugh. Vor. Upon my soul, this is very pleasant-You are quite free and easy. Fra. Quite, sur; quite. Feyther do tell I it be all the fashion. Vor. He does! Then you may tell feyther, that if he has lost his money at play, the winners won't give him sixpence to save him from starving, and that be all the fashion. By their distress, the pretty Jessy will be more in my power, and then I can reinstate them in a farm upon ternis. [Aside.] Go, fellow! I shall not send your father sixpence. Fra. The words I told um-the very words I told umSays I-"Feyther, he bean't the man will gi' thee a brass farthing. Dong it, he hasn't it here, says I." [Laying his hand upon his heart. Vor. You said so, did you? Fra. Ees-so you see, sur, what a desperate cute lad I be. Vor. [Aside.] I'll set a trap for you, you dog-I'll have you in my power, however; I'll drop my purse-he'll take it and then-[Drops his purse.] A pair of us! I'll lay you by the heels, desperate cute as you are. [Exit at door in flat. Fra. Poor feyther, poor sister, and poor I! Feyther will go broken-hearted for sartin; and then, sister Jessy's oming to labour. I can't bear the thought on't. Od don thee! if I could but get hold of some of thy money, I'd teak care thee should not get it again. Eh! [Sees the purse, walks round it.] Well, now, I declare that do look for all the world like a purse. How happy it would make poor feyther and sister! I conceats there would be no harm just to touch it; [Takes it up with caution.] it be cruel tempting. Nobody do see I. I wonder how it would feel in my pocket. [Puts it with fear into his pocket.] Wouns! how hot I be! Cruel warm to be sure. Who's that? Nobody. Oh! 1-1-1-u-d, lud! and I ha' gotten such a desperate ague all of a sudden, and my heart do keep j-jump— jumping. I believe I be going to die. [Falls into a chair.] Eh El Mayhap it be this terrible purse. Dom thee, come out. [Throws it down. After a pause.] Ees, now I is better. Dear me, quite an alteration. My head doan't spin about soa, and my heart do feel as light, and do so keep tipputing, tipputing, I can't help crying. Re-enter VORTEX, door in flat. Vor. Now I have him. [Sees the purse.] What! he has not stole it, though his own father's in want! Here's a precious rascal for you! Fra. Mr. Nabob, you have left your purse behind you. [Sobbing.] And you ought to be asheamed of yourself, so you ought, to leave a purse in a poor lad's way, who has a feyther and a sister coming to starving. Vor. My purse! true; reach it me. Fra. Noa, thank you for nothing. I've had it in my hand once. Ecod, if having other people's mouey do make a man so hot, how desperate warm some folks mun be. Vor. Warm-foolish fellow! [Wiping his forehead, and fanning himself with his hat.] Fugh! quite a Bengal day, I declare. Fra. Od dang it! how their wicked heads mun spin round. Vor. Spin round! I never heard such a simpleton. Spin, indeed! ha! ha! God bless my soul, I'm quite giddy! Oh Lord! Oh dear me! Help! help! [Throws himself into a chair. Enter BRONZE, L. Bro. What's the matter, sir? Vor. Only a little touch of my old complaint. Send the fellow away. [Bronze goes up to Frank. D Fra. Oh, this be t'other gentleman. Sur, I ha' gotten twenty-six pound that feyther lost to you at gamestering. Bro. Where is it? Fra. In my pocket. Bro. That's lucky! give it me. Fra. Gi' it thee! Ees, dom thee, come out, and I'll gi' it thee. Vor. Begone! [Clenching his fist. Fra. Gentlemen, I wish you both a good morning. [Exit, R. Vor. [Getting up.] What a dunderhead that is! to suppose that a little tenderness of conscience would make a man's head turn round.-Pugh! tis impossible, or how the devil would the lawyers find their way from Westminsterhall? Giddy, indeed! Ha! ha!-Bronze, take care I don't fall. [Exit, leaning on Bronze, L. END OF ACT II. ACT III. SCENE I-A Room in an Inn. Table, with green cloth over it, two Chairs, a Stool, and large Arm Chair. Enter R. OLD RAPID, with a Letter, and JOHN following. 0. Rap. What! a real letter from the real Nabob !-dear ine, where is Neddy?-Make my humble duty to your master; proud to serve him-no-very proud to see him ;— grateful for the honour of his custom-no-no-for his company-John crosses, L.]-I wish you a pleasant walk home, sir. The Nabob coming here directly! Oh, dear me! where's Neddy?-Waiter !—-—-— [Exit John, L. Enter WAITER, L. Do you know where my boy is? Wai. Not a minute ago, I saw him fighting in a field behind the house. Enter YOUNG RAPID his coat torn, L. 0. Rap. Fighting!-Oh, dear! where is he? Y. Rap. Here am I, dad 0. Rap. What has been the matter? Y. Rap. Only a small rumpus; went to peep at the castle, -pushing home,-the road had a bit of a circumbendibus; -hate corners,-so I jumped the hedge,-cut right across, you know my way,--kept moving,-up came a farmer,wanted to turn me back,-would not do,-tustled a bit,carried my point,-came straight as an arrow. O. Rap. Fie, fie!-but read that letter. Y. Rap. What! the Nabob coming here directly, and I in this pickle.-Waiter, are my clothes come home? Wai. No, sir. Y. Rap. Why, the fellow gave his word Wai. Yes, sir; but what can you expect from a tailor? Y. Rap. That's very true. 0. Rap. Impudent rascal ! [Exit, L. Y. Rap. What the devil shall I do?-The most important moment of my life. O. Rap. 'Tis unlucky. Y. Rap. Unlucky!-'tis perdition-annihilation-a misfortune, that O. Rap. I can mend. Y. Rap. How? O. Rap. By mending the coat. Y. Rap. An excellent thought. Come, help me off,quick,-quick! O. Rap. I always have a needle in my pocket. Y. Rap. [Rubbing his hands.] I know you have. 0. Rap. Now give it me. Y. Rap. What! suffer my father to mend my coat?—No, no-not so bad as that neither.-As the coat must be mended,--damn it, I'll mend it. O. Rap. Will you though?-Ecod, I should like to see you ;-here's a needle ready threaded-and a thimble ;you can't think how I shall like to see you;-now don't hurry, that's a dear boy. [Young Rapid sits down, gathers his legs under him-Old Rapid puts his spectacles on, and sits close to him, looking on.] Y. Rap. Now mind, dad, when-damn the needle ! O. Rap. That's because you are in such a hurry. O. Rap. I will; but that's a long stitch. Y. Rap. Be sure you sink the tailor;-a great deal depends on the first impression ;-you shall be reading a grave book, with a melancholy air. O. Rap. Then I wish I had brought down my book of bad debts that would have made me melancholy enough. - Enter MR. and Miss VORTEX, L. U. E. who advance slowly, the Nabob to the side where Young Rapid is, Miss Vortex to the other side. Y. Rap. I,-ha! ha! I say, dad, if the Nabob was to see us now,--ha! ha! ? O. Rup. Ha! ha! true;-but mind what you are about. Y. Rap. I'll be discovered in a situation that will surprise -a striking situation, and in some damned elegant attitude. [Looks up and sees the Nabob. O. Rap. Why don't you finish the job ;-why don't you [Sees the Nabob.-They look round the other way, and see Miss Vortex; they both appear ashamed and dejected; Young Rapid draws his legs from under him.] Vor. Gentlemen, I and my daughter, Miss Vortex, have done ourselves the honour of waiting upon you, to——— Miss Vor. But I beg we may not interrupt your amusement! 'tis uncommon whimsical. You Y. Rap. [Recovering himself.] Yes, ma'am, very whimsical. I must keep moving. [Laughs.] Ha! ha! see, dad, I've won-I've won-ha! ha!" Miss Vor. He says he has won.— 0. Rap. [With amazement.] Oh! he has won, has he? Y. Rap. Yes, you know, I have won; he he! why don't you laugh? [Aside to Old Rapid. 0. Rap. [With difficulty.] Ha! he! Y. Rap. You see, ma'am, the fact is,-I had torn my coat, so says I to my father, I'll bet my bays against your operabox that I mend it: and so-ha! ha! [To Old Rapid.] Laugh again. 0. Rap. I can't.-Indeed I can't. Y. Rap. And so I-I won-upon my soul I was doing it very well. O. Rap. No, you were not,-you were doing it a shame to be seen. Y. Rap. [Apart.] Hush!--Ah, father, you don't like to lose. Vor. Well, gentlemen, now this very extraordinary frolic is over Y. Rap. Yes, sir, it is quite over, [Aside.] thank heaven. Vor. Suppose we adjourn to Bangalore Hall. Y. Rap. Sir, I'll go with you directly with all the pleasure in life. [Running. |