Page images
PDF
EPUB

Y. Rap. Pugh ! he's a ready-money man. I never made a bill out for him in iny life. It won't do.

0. Rap. Well then, sit down, and I'll tell you. (They sit.] Can you sit still a moment?

Y. Rap. [Jumping up.] To be sure I can—now tell me, briefly-briefly.

[Sits again. 0. Rap. [Aside.] Indeed I will not-You must knowY. Rap. Aye0. Rup. You must know

Y. Rap. Zounds ! you have said that twice-now don't say it again.

0. Rap. Well, I won't-You must know~'tis a very long story

Y. Rap. [ Rising.) Then I'll not trouble you.

0. Rap. (Aside.) I thought so. And pray what might induce you to come with me?

Y. Rap. (Aside.] Won't tell him of Jessy. Oh, as we had given up trade, left off stitching--you know my way I like to push on-change the scene, that's all-keep moving.

0. Rap. Moving ! [Yawns.] Oh, my poor old bones ! Waiter, bring me a night-gown. [Waiter enters R. and helps him on with a night-goion

-he lays his coat on a chair. Exit Waiter L.] Y. Rap. What are you at, dad ? 0. Rap. Going to take a nap on that sofa. Y. Rap. A nap-pugh! 0. Rap. Zounds! I've no comfort of my life with you. Y. Rap. Say no more.

0. Rap. But I will, though—hurry, hurry-od rabbit it, I never get a dinner that's half-dressed ; and as for a coinfortable sleep, I'm sure

Y. Rap. You sleep so slow.

0. Rap. Sleep slow ! I'll sleep as slow as I please ; so at your peril disturb me. Sleep slow, indeed !

(Yawning. Exit R. Y. Rap. Now to visit Jessy. Waiter!

Enter WAITER, L. Wai. Sar!

(With great quickness. Y. Rap. That's right-sir-short--your'e a tine fellow. Wai. Yes, sar. Y. Rap. Does Farmer Oatland live hereabouts ? Wai. Yes, sar. Y. Rap. How far ?

Wai. Three miles.
Y. Rap. Which way?
Wai. West.
Y. Rap. That will do-get me a buggy.
Wai. Yes, sar.

Y. Rup. Oh, if my old dad had left off basiness as some of your fashy tailors do, I might have kept a curricle, and lived like a man.-Is the buggy ready ?

Wai. No, sar.

Y. Rap. But to cut the shop with paltry five thousand. - Is the buggy ready? Wai. No, sar.

Y. Rap. Or to have dashed to Jessy in a curricle.-- \s the buggy ready? Wai. No, sar.

[Exit, L. Y. Rap. To have flanked along a pair of blood things at sixteen miles an hour. [Puts himself in the act of driving, and sits on the chair where Old Rapid left his coat-springs from it again.) What the devil's that? Zounds! something has run into my back. I'll bet a hundred 'tis a necdle in father's pocket. Confound it! what doos he carry needles now for! (Searches the pocket.] Sure enough, here it ism one end stuck into a letter, and the other into my back, I believe. Curse it! Eh! what's this ? [Reads. ] Mr. Rapid-Free-Hubert Stanley.Ha, ha, ha! here's dad's secret—Now for it! (Reads very quick.) Sir Hubert

Stanley will expect to see Mr. Rapid at the castle, and would be glad to extend the mortgage, which is now fifty thousand pounds.What's this? [Reads again.]

" Extenul the mortgage, which is now fifty thousand pounds, to see

venty.Fifty thousand ! huzza ! 'tis sommy old dad worth fifty thousand-perhaps seventy-perhaps I'll-10, I'll

Enter WAITER, L.
Wui. The buggy's ready, sir.
Y. Rap. Dare to talk to me of a buggy, and I'll-
Wai. Perhaps you would prefer a chaise and pair ?

Y. Rap. No, I'll have a chaise and twelve. Abscond ! [Exit Waiter.] I must-1 must keep moving. I must travel for improvement. First, I'll see the whole of my native country, its agriculture, and manufactories. That, I think, will take me full four days and a half. Next, I'll make the tour of Europe; which, to do properly, will, 1 dare say, employ three weeks or a month. Then returning as completely versed in foreigu manners and lauguage

66 To

as the best of them, I'll make a push at high life. In the
first circles I'll keep moving. Fifty thousand ! perhaps
more-perhaps -oh!

Wait. [Without, Lo] You can't come in.
Bro. (Without, L.] I tell you I will come in.

Y. Rap. Will come in !-that's right-push on,---whoever you are.

Enter BRONZE, L. Bro. I thought so. How do you do, Mr. Rapid ? Don't you remember Bronze, your father's foreman, when you were a boy ?

Y. Rap. Ah, Bronze ! how do you do, Bronze ? Any thing to say, Bronze? Keep moving. Do you know, Bronze, by this letter I have discovered that my father is worth-how much, think you ?

Bro. Perhaps ten thousand.
Y. Rap. Push on.
Bro. Twenty
Y. Rap. Push on.
Bro. Thirty.
Y. Rap. Keep moving.
Bro. Forty

Y. Rap. Fifty—perhaps-sixty-seventy-oh! I'll tell
you. He has lent fifty thousand pounds on mortgage, to an
old baronet.
Bro. Sir Hubert St-
Y. Rap. [Stopping him.] I know his name as well as
Bro. [Aside.] Here's news for my master !-Well, sir,
what do you mean to do?

Y. Rap. Do ! Push on- become a man of fashion, to be sure,

Bro. What would you say, if I were to get you intro. duced to a Nabob ?

Y Rap. A Nabob ! oh! some flash-in-the-pan chap.
Bro. Oh, no!

Y. Rap. What one of your real, genuine, neat as imported, Nabobs ?

Bro. Yes, Mr. Vortex-Did you never hear of him?
Y. Rap. To be sure I have. But will you ?
Bro. Yes.
Y. Rap. Ah! but will you do it directiy ?
Bro. I will
Y. Rap. Then Push off Stop--stop-I beg your pardon

[ocr errors][ocr errors]

you do.

-it cuts me to the heart to stop any man, because I wish every body tu keep moving. But won't dad's being a tailor, make an objection.

Bro. No; as you never went out with the pattern books.
Y. Rap. (Sighing.] Oh yes, I did.
Bro. That's awkward. But you never operated ?
Y. Rap. [With melancholy.] What do you say?
Bro. I say you never-

[Describes in action the act of sewing.
Y. Rap. [Sighing deeper.] Oh! yes, I did.
Bro. That's unlucky.
Y. Rap. Very melancholy, indeed !
Bro. I have it. Suppose I say you are merchants.

Y. Rap. My dear fellow, sink the tailor, and I'll give you a hundred.

Bro. Will you ? Thank you.
Y. Rap. Now push off.
Bro. But don't be out of the way.
Y. Rap. Me! Bless you, I'm always in the way.
Bro. Don't move.

Y. Rap. Yes, I must move a little, away you go. [Pushes Brunze off, l.] Huzza ! now to awake old dad. [Exit, and returns with Old Rapid, R.] Come along, dad.

0. Rap. (Half asleep.] Yes, sir-yes, sir)'li measure you directly—I'll measure you directly.

Y. Rap. He's asleep. Awake!
0. Rap. What's the matter, ch! What's the matter?

Y. Rap. What's the matter! I've found fifty thousand in that letter.

0. Rup. Indeed ! (Opens the letter eagerly.] Ah ! Neddy, have you found out

Y. Rap. I have that you are worth how much ? 0. Rap. Why, since what's past Y. Rap. Never mind what's past. 0. Rap. I've been a fortunate man. My old partner used

“Ah! you are lucky, Rapid ; your needle always sticks in the right place.”

Y. Rap. No, not always. [Shrugging.) But how much ?

0. Rap. Why, as it must out, there are fifty thousand lent on mortgage. Item, fifteeu thousand in the consolsItem-

Y. Rap. Never mind the items. The total, my dear dad the total. 0. Rup. What do you think of a plum!

to say,

Y. Rap. A plum! Oh, sweet, agreeable little, short word!

0. Rap. Besides seven hundred and ninety

Y. Rap. Never mind the odd money—that will do. But how came you so rich, dad ? Dam'me, you must have kept moving.

0. Rap. Why, my father, forty years ago, left me five thousand pounds; which, at compound interest, if you multipiy

Y. R. No; you have multiplied it famously. It's my business to reduce it. [.Aside.] Now, my dear dad, in the first place, never call me Neddy.

0. Rup. Why, what must I call you ?
Y. Rap. Ned-short-Ned.
0. Rap. Ned! 0 Ned!

Y. Rap. 'That will do. And, in the next place, sink the tailor. Whatever you do, sink the tailor.

0. Rap. Sink the tailor! What do you mean?

Y. Rap. I've news for you. We are going to be introduced to Mr. Vortex, the rich Nabob.

0. Rap. You don't say so! Huzza ; it will be the making

of us,

Y. Rap. To be sure. Such fashion ! Such style!

0. Rap. Aye, and such a quantity of liveries, and oh dear me !

[With great dejection. Y. Rap. What's the matter ? 0. Rap. [Sighing.] I forgot I had left off business.

Y. Rap. Business! Confound it! Now, pray keep the tailor under, will you ? I'll send an express to London.

[Runs to the table. 0. Rap. An express ? for what? Y. Rap. I don't know.

Enter WAITER, R. Wai. The bill of fare, gentlemen.

Y. Rap. Bring it here. [Reads.] Turbots - SalmonSoles-Haddock-Beef-Mutton-Veal.LambPorkChickens-Ducks-Turkies--Puddings--Pies.”Dress it all—that's the short way.

Wai. All!
Y. Rap. Every bit.

0. Rap. No, no, nonsense.—The short way indeed! Come here, sir.-Let me see. [Reads.] Um-Um-Ribs

of Beef.That's a good thing ;-l'll have that.

« PreviousContinue »