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So I were sure he left his heart at home!
I see the jewel best enamelled

Will lose its lustre-So doth Adriana,

Whom once, unwearied with continual gazing,
He fondly call'd the treasure of his life!

Now, since my beauty cannot please his eye,

I'll weep what's left away, and, weeping, die. [Exeunt, R.

SCENE II.-The Mart.


Ant. of Syr. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up Safe at the Centaur, and the heedful slave

Is wander'd forth in care to seek me out.

Oh, here he comes!

How now, sir? is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You knew no Centaur! you received no gold!
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner!
My house was at the Phoenix! wert thou mad,
That thus, so strangely, thou didst answer me?

Dro. of Syr. What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?

Ant. of Syr. Ev'n now, ev'n here; not half an hour


Dro. of Syr. I did not see you since you sent me hence Home, to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.

Ant. of Syr. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt, And told'st me of a mistress, and a dinner;

For which, I hope, thou felt'st, I was displeased.

Dro. of Syr. (L.) I'm glad to see you in this merry vein ; What means this jest, I pray you, master, tell me?

Ant. of Syr. (R.) What, dost thou jeer, and flout me in

the teeth?

Think'st thou I jest? there, take thou that, and that! [Beats Dromio to R. Dro. of Syr. (R.) Hold, sir, for Heaven's sake!—now your jest is earnest

Upon what bargain do you give it me?

Ant. of Syr. (L.) Because that I familiarly, sometimes, Do use you for my fool, and chat with you,

Your sauciness will jest upon my love,

And make a common of my serious hours.

When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport,

But creep in crannies, when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, then know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanour to my looks.
Dro. of Syr. I pray, sir, why am I beaten?
Ant. of Syr. Dost thou not know?

Dro. of Syr. Nothing, but that I am beaten.

Ant. of Syr. Why, first, for flouting me, and then, for urging

It, in spite of my assertion to the contrary.

Is dinner ready?

Dro. of Syr. No, sir; I think the meat wants what I've got.

Ant. of Syr. What's that?

Dro. of Syr. Why, basting, sir.

Ant. of Syr. No more, thou knave! for see, who wafts

us yonder.

This way they haste, and, by their gestures, seem To point out me-what should they mean, I trow? [Dromio crosses behind to L.


Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholis, look strange and frown, Some other mistress hath some sweeter aspect:

I am not Adriana, nor thy wife.

The time was once, when thou, unurged, would'st vow, That never words were music to thine ear,

That never object pleasing in thine eye,

That never touch were welcome to thine hand,

That never food well savour'd to the taste,

Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carved.

How comes it now, my husband, oh! how comes it,
That thou art thus estranged to thyself?

Thyself, I call it, being strange to me-
Oh, do not tear thyself away from me!

For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
A drop of water in the breaking gulf,

And take unmingled thence that drop again,
As take from me thyself.

Ant. of Syr. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you


In Ephesus, I am but two hours old,

As strange unto your town, as to your talk.

Luc. Fie, brother! how the world is changed with you! When were you wont to use my sister thus ?

She sent for you by Dromio, home to dinner.

Ant. of Syr. By Dromio?

Dro. of Syr. (L.) By me!

Adr. By thee, and thus thou didst return from him, That he did buffet thee, and in his blows

Denied my house for his, me, for his wife.

Ant. of Syr. Did you converse, sir, with this gentle


Dro. of Syr. I, sir? I never saw her till this moment! An of Syr. Villain, thou liest! for even her very words

Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.

Dro. of Syr. I never spoke with her in all my life.

[Dromio crosses behind to R. Ant. of Syr. How can she then thus call us by our


Unless it be by inspiration?

Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity,
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave,
Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!
Come, I will fasten thus upon thy arm;
Thou art an elm, my husband, I, a vine,
Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state,
Shares in thy virtues, and partakes thy strength.
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, idle moss, or briar,

Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion

Infect thy sap, and live on thy destruction.

Ant. of Syr. To me she speaks she moves me for her


What, was I married to her in my sleep?

Or sleep I now, and dream I hear all this?

What error thus deceives our eyes and ears?

Yet, that the mystery I may explore,

I'll seem to entertain the fallacy.

Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
Dro. of Syr. Meaning me?

Luc. Ay, thee, thou slug !

Dro. of Syr. Spread for dinner!

Ant. of Syr. Ain I alive? Am I Antipholis?

Sleeping or waking? Mad or well-advised?

Known unto these, yet to myself unknown;

Fain would I learn from whence these wonders flow;
But that I almost fear to trace the source,

So strange is every thing I see and hear.

Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool,

To put the finger in the eye, and weep,

While man and master laugh my woes to scorn.

Come, sir, to dinner-[Crosses, R.] Dromio, keep the gate-
Husband, I'll dine above with you, to-day,

And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks.
Sirrah, if any ask you for your master,

Say, he dines forth, and let uo creature enter.
Come, sister-Dromio, play the porter well.

[Exit, with Luciana and Antipholis, R.

Dro. of Syr. Spread for dinner! I am afraid I shall
Be somewhat awkward, as I am not well
Acquainted with the ways of the house;
Though, I suppose they'll be so courteous
As to teach a new comer. Ay, there they go ;
The house with the green doors, and have taken
My master with them; I must follow-Sure
We are in the land of fairies, and converse with
Sprites and goblins. I wish they mayn't have
Infected my poor master; for, even

Now, he swore to a discourse, I held with him

Here on the Mart; when I can swear, I was talking
To the strong-box yonder at the Centaur.-Mighty odd
All this! However, my comfort is, that, whatsoever
Mischief we light on, the master takes place
Of the servant, and must fall into it first.


[Exit, R.


SCENE I-A Street, with the house of Antipholis.

Enter ANTIPHOLIS of Ephesus, DROMIO OF EPHESUS, and ANGELO, R.-[Dromio crosses behind to L.]

Ant. of Eph. Good Siguor Angelo, you must excuse us; My wife is shrewish, when I keep not hours.

Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,

To see the making of her bracelet,

And that to-morrow you will bring it home.
But here's a villain that would face me down,

He met me on the Mart, and that I beat him

And charged him with a thousand marks in gold,
And that I did deny my wife and house.

Thou drunkard, thou, what did'st thou mean by this?

Dro. of Eph. (L.) Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know.

That you beat me at the Mart, I have the marks to witness. Ant. of Eph. (L. c.) Silence, thou sot, or I shall sober thee!

You're sad, Signor Angelo; pray Heaven our cheer
May answer my good will, and your good welcome-
But soft, my door is locked-Sirrah, ring the bell!

Dro. of Eph. [Rings.] Oh, he's a little soberer, and he does know his own house now!

Ant. of Eph. Will they not hear?

Dro. of Eph. In good truth, I think they will not. My mistress, sure, means to be quits with you, master-you denied her a while ago, and now she's determined to deny


Ant. of Eph. Have done, thou varlet! Call to them; bid them let us in.

Dro. of Eph. Maud! Bridget! Marian! Cicely! Gillian! Madge!

Dro. of Syr. [Within.] Mome, Malt-horse, Capon, Coxcomb, Idiot, Patch!-Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st for such store, when one is one too many? -Go, get thee from the gate!

Dro. of Eph. What patch is made our porter ?-My master stays in the street.

Dro. of Syr. [Within.] Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold in his feet.

Ant. of Eph. Who talks within there?-Hoa! open the door!

Dro. of Syr. [Within.] Right, sir-I'll tell you when, an you'll tell me wherefore.

Ant. of Eph. What art thou, there, that keep'st me from mine own house?

Dro. of Syr. [Within.] The porter, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dro. of Eph. O villain, thou hast stole both mine office, and my name!

Brid. [Within.] Why, what a coil is there!-Dromio, who are those at the door

Dro. of Eph. Let my master in, Bridget.

Brid. [Within.] Peace, fool! thy master's here already.

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