he-he!" After repeated inquiries, he disclosed the occasion of his unusual cachinnations. "I've just been thinking," said he, "suppose-He, he, he!-suppose it was to come to pass that I should be hanged-he, he, he! God forbid, by-the-way; but, suppose I should, how old Ketch would be puzzled! -my face looking one way, and my tied hands and arms pointing another! How the crowd would stare! He, he, he! And suppose," pursuing the train of thought, "I were to be publicly whippedhow I could superintend operations! And how the devil am I to ride on horseback, eh? with my face to the tail, or to the mane? In short, what is to become of me? I am, in effect, shut out from society!" "You have only to walk circumspectly," said M- ; "and as for back-biters-hem." "That's odd-very-but impertinent,” replied the hypochondriac, with a mingled expression of chagrin and humour. "Come, come, N don't look so steadily on the dark side of things," said I. "The dark side of things?" he inquired—“ I think it is the back-side of things I am compelled to look at!" "Look forward to better days," said I. "Look forward, again! What nonsense!" he replied, interrupting me; "impossible! How can I look forward? My life will henceforth be spent in wretched retrospectives !" and he could not help smiling at the conceit. Having occasion during the conversation to use his pocket-handkerchief, he suddenly reached his hand behind as usual, and was a little confused to find that the usual position of his coat-pocket required that he should take it from before! This I should have conceived enough to put an end to his delusion, but I was mistaken. "Ah! it will take some time to reconcile me to this new order of things-but practice-practice, you know!" It was amazing to me that his sensations, so contradictory to the absurd crotchet he had taken into his head, did not convince him of his error, especially when so frequently compelled to act in obedience to long-accustomed impulses. As, for instance, on my rising to go, he suddenly started from his chair, shook my hands, and accompanied me to the door, as if nothing had been the matter. "Well now! what do you think of that?" said I, triumphantly. "Ah-ah!" said he, after a puzzled pause, “but you little know the effort it cost me !" * * * * He did not persevere long in the absurd way of putting on his clothes which I have just described; but even after he had discontinued it, he alleged his opinion to be, that the front of his clothes ought to be with his face! I might relate many similar fooleries springing from this notion of his turned head, but sufficient has been said already to give the reader a clear idea of the general character of such delusions. My subsequent interviews with him while under this unprecedented hallucination were similar to the two which I have attempted to describe. The fit lasted near a month. I happened luckily to recollect a device successfully resorted to by a sagacious old English physician, in the case of a royal hypochondriac abroad, who fancied that his nose had swelled into greater dimensions than those of his whole body besides; and forthwith resolved to adopt a similar method of cure with N. Electricity was to be the wonder-working talisman! I lectured him out of all opposition, silenced his scruples, and got him to fix an evening for the exorcisation of the evil spirit-as it might well be called-which had taken possession of him. Let the reader fancy, then, N's sitting-room, about seven o'clock in the evening, illuminated with a cheerful fire, and four mould candles; the awful electrifying machine duly disposed for action; Mr. S of Hospital, Dr. , and myself, all standing round it, adjusting the jars, chains, &c.; and Nambo busily engaged in laying bare his master's neck, N- all the while eying our motions with excessive trepidation. I had infinite difficulty in getting his consent to one preliminary-the bandaging of his eyes. I succeeded, however, at last, in persuading him to undergo the operation blindfolded, in assuring him that it was essential to success; for that if he was allowed to see the application of the conductor to the precise spot requisite, he might start, and occasion its apposition to a wrong place! The real reason will be seen presently; the great manœuvre could not have been practised but on such terms; for how could I give his head a sudden twist round at the instant of his receiving the shock, if he saw what I was about? I ought to have mentioned that we also prevailed upon him to sit with his arms pinioned, so that he was completely at our mercy. None of us could refrain from an occasional titter at the absurdity of the solemn farce we were playing-fortunately, however, unheard by N―. At length, Nambo being turned out, and the doors locked, lest seeing the trick he might disclose it subsequently to his master, we commenced operations. S- worked the machine -round, and round, and round, whizzing-sparkling -crackling-till the jar was moderately charged: it was then conveyed to N's neck, Dr. using the conductor. N-, on receiving a tolerably smart shock, started out of his chair, and I had not time to give him the twist I had intended. After a few moments, however, he protested that he felt "something loosened" about his neck, and was easily induced to submit to another shock considerably stronger than the former. The instant the rod was applied to his neck, I gave the head a sudden excruciating wrench towards the left shoulder, S striking him at the same moment a smart blow on the crown. Poor N-! "Thank God!" we all exclaimed, as if panting for breath. "I-i-is it all over ?" stammered N-, faintlyquite confounded with the effects of the threefold remedy we had adopted. "Yes-thank God, we have at last brought your head round again, and your face looks forward now as heretofore!" said I. "O, remove the bandage-remove it! Let my own eyesight behold it! Bring me a glass!" "As soon as the proper bandages have been applied to your neck, Mr. N.” "What, eh-a second pudding, eh?" "No, merely a broad band of diachlum plaster, to prevent-hem-the contraction of the skin," said I. As soon as that was done, we removed the handkerchiefs from his eyes and arms. "Oh, my God, how delightful!" he exclaimed, rising and walking up to the mirror over the mantelpiece. "Ecstasy! All really right again”— 66 'My dear N- do not, I beg, do not work your neck about in that way, or the most serious disarrangement of the-the parts," said I— "Oh, it's so, is it? Then I'd better get into bed at once, I think, and you'll call in the morning." I did, and found him in bed. "Well, how does all go on this morning?" I inquired. "Pretty well-middling," he replied, with some embarrassment of manner. "Do you know, doctor, I've been thinking about it all night long-and I strongly suspect"-His serious air alarmed me- -I began to fear that he had discovered the trick. "I strongly suspect-hem-hem"-he continued. "What?" I inquired, rather sheepishly. "Why, that it was my brains only that were turned-and-that-that-most ridiculous piece of business-" "Why, to be sure, Mr. N-"*** and he was so ashamed about it, that he set off for the country immediately, and among the glens and mountains of Scotland endeavoured to forget that ever he dreamed that HIS HEAD WAS TURNED. The Wife. Monday Evening, 25th July, 18-.-Well! the poor martyr has at last been released from her sufferings, and her wasted remains now lie hid in the kindly gloom of the grave. Yes, sweet, abused, forgiving Mrs. T- -! I this morning attended your funeral, and let fall a tear of unavailing regret! Shall I tell your sad story all in one word or two? The blow that broke your heart, was struck by YOUR HUSBAND! Heaven grant me calmness in recording your wrongs! Let not the feelings of outraged humanity prompt me to "set down aught in malice;" may I be dispassionately enough disposed to say but the half, nay, even the hundredth part only, of what I know, and my conscience will stand acquitted! Let not him who shall read these pages anticipate any thing of romance, of high-flown rodomontade, in what follows. It is all about a poor, ill-used, heart-broken WIFE and such a one is, alas! too often met with in all classes of society to attract, in an ordinary case, any thing of public notice. The ensuing narration will not, however, be found an ordinary case. It is fraught with circumstances of such peculiar aggravation, and exhibits such a moving picture of the tenderness and unrepining fortitude of woman, that I am tempted to give it at some length. Its general accuracy may be relied upon, for I succeeded in wringing it from the reluctant lips of the poor sufferer herself. I must, however, be allowed to give it in my own way; though at the risk of its being thereby divested of much of that sorrowful simplicity and energy-that touching naïveté, which |