SECRETIVENESS IN CHILDREN.

TO THAT field of child activity wherein the instinct of secretiveness has play, the adult is necessarily largely a stranger, unless he call up retrospectively his own experience. Observation of children here fails to reveal much more than the important fact of the existence of such an instinct; a view of its inner workings, of its concrete material, would be anomalous, and conscious expression on the part of children, too, would be contradictory. It is because children do so successfully keep their thoughts and feelings and many of their actions hidden from those around them that the method of reminiscence seems best adapted for laying bare the inner springs of the secretive instinct.

This study, which aims merely to open up the subject in the way of suggestion, is based on a hundred or more concrete instances of secretiveness, given by adults in reminiscent form. I wish largely to present this material, fragmentary though it be, as it came to me in its freshness, letting it speak for itself, for it is only through the concrete that we can gain a sympathetic appreciation of any phase of child life. At the same time, though the number of instances is small, yet the variety is such and so seemingly typical that they seem to offer some classification based on a rough psychological analysis.

In these instances of secretiveness two points are especially noticeable: First, what is kept secret, as feelings, thoughts, deeds, etc.; and, second, the motive for such secretiveness.

WHAT IS KEPT SECRET?

In regard to the things secreted, there is a marvelous and amusing variety, but the instances all fall under the following large heads.

a. Feelings.

b. Thoughts, or some line of intellectual activity. c. Wrong or forbidden deeds.

d. Material things.

Without doubt secretiveness is greatest where strong feeling is concerned. Among the cases in hand we find concealment of religious emotions, superstitions, shame, ambition, romantic feelings, dislikes, animosities, revengeful feelings, loneliness, doubt with its accompanying pains, disappointment, fears, etc. Perhaps the feelings which children are most prone to conceal are fears, ambitions, religious and romantic feelings. I give the following concrete instances, which testify to the vitality of the child's hidden life:

I. "When I was six years old I used to sleep with my grandmother. As I lay in bed I could look out into her sitting-room, and could see part of a mahogany bureau, with shining handles. After the light was put out I could always, when there was moonlight, see this dark object with the shining handles, which caught every ray of light. It always seemed to me that it was a coffin, and I had such a horror of it that it made me utterly miserable. It was well known to us children that foolish fears would not be tolerated, so I never said anything about it. Many nights I have lain staring at that object, not daring to cover my head or scream lest the corpse which I always imagined it to contain should come to life and come out toward me. For two years I endured that terror without mentioning it because I instinctively felt that it was silly and unreasonable and I did not wish anyone to know of it."

2. "Among my schoolmates I was practically isolated; girls of my age were interested in going to parties and their conversation was chiefly of that. They all dressed richly and I could not. I was very anxious to be a favorite, to be praised and admired, and when I found I could not be I withdrew into a world of my own, where I could be supreme. An exceedingly awkward and diffident girl, all my dreams

were of social conquest, of being brilliant and handsome. and of impressing everyone."

3. "At one time I became convinced that the only way by which I could attain holiness was through prayer and fasting, and I fixed my faith on fasting as the most effective. To a certain extent circumstances were in my favor, for mother was never down to breakfast, and I always sat at the head of the table and poured the coffee. My plate was hidden from father's view, so I could safely leave my breakfast untouched and begin the day fairly well. But to my mind I was not fasting unless I could go twenty-four hours without food. At last, when mother was away, I succeeded in fasting the whole day. Contrary to my expectations, I could not think of holy things. I was so fearfully hungry that all my attention was required to keep from yielding to the desire for food. I nearly broke down when I had to go to a closet where some spicy black fruitcake was kept. I went so far as to put my hand out for just one delicious crumb. By a mighty effort I put away the temptation. I was very proud of my strength, but my pride was short lived, for I was so faint for food and yet obliged to keep around just the same in order to carry out my deception. Then something happened and I completely lost my temper. All my endeavors to attain holiness through fasting ended in the same dismal failures."

4. "It used to amuse me very much to imagine the proposals I would have when I was grown up. In these romantic scenes both real and imaginary characters figured dramatically. There were generally two lovers to a scene; one, rejected and despairing, the other triumphant. The boys, who were in my class at school, figured chiefly as the heroes. Charley was a gay boy, with merry face and laughing eyes and black hair. In my dreams I touched him up till he was very handsome, made his eyes large and liquid and added a little to the curl of his hair. But even then he could not come up to Carl, who, when he was once in the magic castle in Spain, became my ideal of strength

and brilliancy. No doubt these two commonplace youths would have been highly surprised to see themselves in the garb of heroes in my romantic dreams. I would have been ashamed to mention such feelings to anyone."

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5. "When I was a boy I used to choose some girl companion as an object for my adoration. My imagination worked about her all manner of fantastic relations. For a certain time in my life my leisure was largely devoted to such imaginings. Throughout all of my attachments there existed on my part the most guarded and circumspect expression and action, in order that no one, not even the object of my affection, should have the slightest inkling of my real state of mind. The fear of exposure was never absent from my mind and was the cause of much absurd and extreme dissembling. On passing the house which was fortunate enough to act as domicile for the young lady, my gaze was never permitted to remain in that direction for fear of observation. Even the street was frequented only when absolutely necessary, and time and time again I have put myself to all manner of unnecessary trouble for no other reason than to prevent the least chance of exposing myself. My parents never had the slightest notion of these situations, and I can further remember that later I was dubbed by an intimate associate as phlegmatic and unfeeling, for the simple reason that I so successfully concealed every evidence of romanticism."

6. "When I was a young girl I was away from my family at school. I had a repressed feeling all the time. I hardly talked at all. Every morning when I went to school I passed some tall pine trees in a vacant lot. I used to raise my eyes to them in a mute appeal for sympathy and I would breathe in a sort of prayer, 'O Pines, absorb me into your dark branches.' It seemed to me that if I could be a dark, gloomy pine bough I would have a natural happiness in being miserable."

Besides the hidden springs of feeling there are often whirlpools of intellectual and imaginative activity seething

in the child brain, quite unsuspected by the adult. There are day dreams, imaginations of future wealth and glory, plans of all sorts-for trips, for escapades, for Christmas gifts-ideas for inventions in which the youthful genius has the utmost faith so long as there is none to dispute; there are invented games, imaginary companions, imagined stories, novel and journal writing, secret languages, secret societies, beliefs, misapprehensions, wonderings, etc. The things chiefly concealed are plans, imaginations or literary ventures. The intellectual processes involved are the imaginative, as shown in plans, inventions, day dreams, imaginary companions, etc., and the self-expressive as shown in novel and journal writing. Simple reflection or meditation, which are not expected to have some objective outcome, play a minor part.

1. "When a little girl I had few companions. This, however, was of little consequence as I had a group of five or six imaginary playmates. These were very distinct individuals with names-as Violet and Katie-and with decided personal characteristics. We played all sorts of games and roamed all over the grounds together. I never thought of telling anyone about them; they seemed a part of my own individual world which I could not transfer to others understandingly."

"The most vivid memory of anything I made secret of as a child is of a continuous story whose charm lay in the privacy from intrusion by older people, or matter-offact people, to spoil our romance. The first thing necessary was always to make sure that my friend and I, and her smaller brother incidentally, were alone in her mother's room. When the shades were partly drawn we would sit down on the floor and tell our story. We took turns, trying to divide the time equally, and then each one tried to out-rival the other by prophecies of the beautiful things that were going to be ours when we grew up to be princesses."

3. "The very earliest memory I have of a secret plan