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If sir John Falstaff have committed disparage- Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? ments unto you, I am of the church, and will be I heard say, he was out-run on Cotsale. glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements Page. It could not be judged, sir. and compromises between you.
Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. The Council shall hear it ; it is a riot. Shal. That he will not ;-'tis your fault, 'tis
Eva. It is not meet the Council hear a riot; your fault :-'Tis a good dog. there is no fear of Got in a riot: the Council, Page. A cur, sir. look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog ; not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that. can there be more said ? he is good, and fair.
Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, Is sir John Falstaff here? the sword should end it.
Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, do a good office between you. and end it: and there is another device in my Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak. prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discre- Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. tions with it: There is Anne Page, which is Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. daughter to master George Page, which is pretty Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress’d; is not virginity:
that so, master Page ? He hath wrong’d me; inŠln. Mistress Anne Page ? She has brown deed, he hath ;-ata word, he hath ;-believe me; hair, and speaks small like a woman.
-Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Eva. It is that fery verson for all the 'orld, as Page. Here comes sir John. just as you will desire ; and seven hundred pounds of monies, and gold, and silver, is her Enter Sir John Falstaff, BARDOLPH, NYM, grandsire, upon his death's-bed, (Got deliver to
and Pistol. a joyful resurrections !) give, when she is able Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain to overtake seventeen years old : it were a goot of me to the king ? motion, if we leave our pribbles and prabbles, Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed and desire a marriage between master Abraham, my deer, and broke open my lodge. and mistress Anne Page.
Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter? Sha!. Did her grandsire leave her seven hun- Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd. dred pound?
Fal. I will answer it straight ;-I have done Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter all this :--That is now answer'd. penny.
Shal. The Council shall know this. Shal. I know the young gentlewoman ; she Fal. 'Twere better for you, if it were known has good gifts.
in counsel : you'll be laugh'd at. Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, Eva. Pauca verba, sir John, good worts. is good gifts.
Fal. Good worts! good cabbage.-Slender, I Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: Is broke your head; What matter have you against Falstaff there?
Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head liar, as I do despise one that is false ; or, as I against you ; and against your coney-catching despise one that is not true. The knight, sir rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They car, John, is there; and I beseech you, be ruled by ried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and your well-willers. I will peat the door (knocks] afterwards picked my pocket. for master Page. What, hoa ! Got pless your Bard. You Banbury cheese! house here!
Slen. Ay, it is no matter.
Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?
Slen. Ay, it is no matter.
Nym. Slice, I say ! pauca, pauca ; slice! that's Eva. Here is Got's plessing, and your
friend, my humour. and justice Shallow : and here young master Slen. Where's Simple, my man ?--can you Slender ; that, peradventures, shall tell you ano- tell, cousin ? ther tale, if matters grow to your likings. Eva. Peace : I pray you ! Now let us under
Page. I am glad to see your worships well: 1 stand : There is three umpires in this matter, thank you for iny venison, master Shallow. as I understand : that is-master Page, fidelicet,
Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you ; master Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, mymuch good do it your good heart! I wished your self; and the three party is, lastly and finally, venison better ; it was ill kill'd:-How doth mine høst of the Garter. good mistress Page ?--and I love you always Page. We three, to hear it, and end it be with my heart, la ; with my heart.
tween them. Page. Sir, I thank you.
Evi. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in Shal. Sir, I thank you ; by yea and no, I do. my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon
Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slen- the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. der.
Pist. He hears with cars.
must wait on myself, must I? You have not Eva. The tevil and his tam ! what phrase is The Book of Riddles about you, have you? this, He hears with ears? Why it is affectations. Sim. Book of Riddles ! why, did you not lend
Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? it to Alice Shortcake upon Allhallowmas last, a
Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he, (or I would fortnight afore Michaelmas ? I might never come in mine own great chamber Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for again else) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz ; two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me two There is, as 't were, a tender, a kind of tender, shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller, made afar off by sir Hugh here;-Do you underby these gloves.
stand me? Fal. Is this true, Pistol ?
Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable ; Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. if it be so, I shall do that that is reason. Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner !-Sir Shal. Nay, but understand me. John and master mine,
Slen. So I do, sir. I combat challenge of this latten bilbo :
Eva. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: Word of denial in thy labras here;
I will description the matter to you, if you be Word of denial : froth and scum, thou liest. capacity of it. Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.
Slen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humours; says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of I will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the peace in his country, simple though" i stand nut-hook's humour on me; that is the very here. note of it.
Eva. But this is not the question; the quesSlen. By this hat, then he in the red face had tion is concerning your marriage. it: for though I cannot remember what I did Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir. when you made me drunk, yet I am not alto- Eva. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to gether an ass.
mistress Anne Page. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John ? Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon
Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gen- any reasonable demands. tleman had drunk himself out of his five sen- Eva. But can you affection the 'oman? Let tences.
us command to know that of your mouth, or of Eva. It is his five senses : fie, what the igno- your lips ; for divers philosophers hold, that the rance is!
lips is parcel of the mouth ;—Therefore, preBard. And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cisely, can you carry your good will to the cashier'd ; and so conclusions pass'd the careires. maid?
Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love 'tis no matter : Il ne'er be drunk whilst í live her? again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for Slen. I hope, sir,- I will do, as it shall be this trick : if I be drunk, i'll be drunk with come one that would do reason. those that have the fear of God, and not with Eva, Nay, Got's lords and his ladies, you drunken knaves.
must speak possitable, if you can carry her your Eva. So Got ’udge me, that is a virtuous mind. desires towards her.
Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gen- Shal. That you must: Will you, upon good temen ; you hear it.
dowry, marry her?
Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; Mistress upon your request, cousin, in any reason. Ford and Mistress Page following:
Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in ; coz; what i do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. you love the maid?
Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request ; Page. How now, mistress Ford ?
but if there be no great love in the beginning, Fal. Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintwell met: by your leave, good mistress. ance, when we are married, and have more oc
[Kissing her. casion to know one another: I hope, upon fami-, Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome: liarity will grow more contempt; but if you
-Come, we have a hot venison pasty to din- say, marry her, I will marry her, that I'am ner ; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink freely dissolved, and dissolutely. down all unkindness.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer ; save, the [Exeunt all but Shal. Slender, and Evans. faul’ is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, accordSlen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had ing to our meaning, resolutely ;-his meaning is my book of Songs and Sonnets here:
Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Enter SIMPLE.
Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, How now, Simple! Where have you been ? Il la.
at the grace,
SCENE II.-The same.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and SIMPLE.
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father house, which is the way: and there dwells one desires your worships' company.
mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his launEva. Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence dry, his washer, and his wringer.
Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Simp. Well, sir. Anne. Will’t please your worship to come in, Eva. Nay, it is petter yet :give her this sir ?
letter ; for it is a 'oman, that altogether's acSlen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I quaintance with mistress Anne Page: and the am very well.
letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
master's desires to mistress Anne Page : 1 pray Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, for- you, be gone; I will make an end of my dinner; sooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, there's pippins and cheese to come. [Ereunt. wait upon my cousin Shallow : ÇExit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to SCENE III.-A room in the Garter Inn. his friend for a man :- I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead : But what Enter FalsTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, Nym, though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Pistol, and Robin. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: Fal. Mine host of the Garter, they will not sit till you come.
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak Ślen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as scholarly, and wisely. much as though I did.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
some of my followers. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you : I Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let bruised my shin the other day with playing at them wag ; trot, trot. sword and dagger with a master of fence, three Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my Host. Thou 'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keiser, troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he since. Why do your dogs bark so ? be there shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hecbears i the town?
tor? Anne. I think, there are, sir ; I heard them Fal. Do so, good mine host, talked of.
Host. I have spoke ; let him follow: Let me Slen. I love the sport well ; but I shall as soon see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; folquarrel at it, as any man in England :-You are low.
[Exit Host. afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not ? Fal. Bardolph, follow him ; a tapster is a good Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin ; & Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I withered servingman, a fresh tapster : Go; have seen Sackerson loose, twenty times; and adieu. have taken him by the chain : but, I warrant Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, thrive.
[Erit Bard. that it pass'd :—but women, indeed, cannot Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough spigot wield? things.
Nym. He was gotten in drink : Is not the
humour conceited? His mind is not heroick, Re-enter Page.
and there's the humour of it. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come ; Fal. I ain glad, I am so acquit of this tinderwe stay for you.
box; his thefts were too open : his filching was Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a misir : come, come.
nute's rest. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call : Steal ! foh; a Page. Come on, sir.
fico for the phrase ! „Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Anne. Not I, sir ; pray you, keep on.
Pist. Why then, let kibes ensue. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I Fal. There is no remedy; I must coneya will not do you that wrong.
I must shift. Anne. I pray you, sir.
Pist. Young ravens must have food. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly, than trouble- Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? some; you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance
[Ereunt. I good.
Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I Pist. Wilt thou revenge? an about.
Nym. By welkin, and her star ! Pist. Two yards, and more.
Pist. With wit, or steel ? Fal. No quips now, Pistol : Indeed I am in Nym. With both the humours, I : the waist two yards about: but I am now about I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold, to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertain
How Falstaff, varlet vile, ment in her ; she discourses, she carves, she
His dove will prove, his gold will hold, gives the leer of invitation : I can construe the
And his soft couch defile. action of her familiar style; and the hardest Nym. My humour shall not cool : I will invoice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, cense Page to deal with poison; I will possess is, I am sir John Falstaff" s.
him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated dangerous: that is my true humour. her well ; out of honesty into English.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I Nym. The anchor is deep: Will that humour second thee; troop on,
[Exeunt. Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule SCENE IV. A room in Dr Caius' house. of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. Pist. As many devils entertain ; and, To her,
Enter Mrs QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and Rugby. boy, say I.
Quick. What; John Rugby!-I pray thee, Num. The humour rises; it is good: humour go to the casement, and see if you can see my me the angels.
master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her : and faith, and find any body in the house, here will here another to Page's wife; who even now gave
an old abusing of God's patience, and the me good eyes too, examined my parts with most king's English. judicious eyliads : sometimes the beam of her Řug. I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby. view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon Pist. Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.
at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal Nym. I thank thee for that humour.
fire.—An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever serFal . O, she did so course o'er my exteriors
vant shall come in house withal; and, I warwith sueh a greedy intention, that the appetite rant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate : his of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burn- worst fault is, that he is given to prayer ; he is ing glass ! Here's another letter to her : she something peevish that way : but nobody but bears the purse too ; she is a region in Guiana, has his fault ;-but let that pass.—Peter Simple, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them you say your name is ? both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they
Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. shall be my East and West Indies, and I will
Quick. And master Slender's your master ? trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter
Sim. Ay, forsooth. to mistress Page ; and thou this to mistress
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, Ford : we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. like a glover's paring knife? Pist. Shall I sir Pandarus of Troy become,
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee And by my side wear steal ? then, Lucifer take face, with a little yellow beard ; a Cain-coloured all!
beard. Nym. I will run no base humour : here, take
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of reputation.
his hands, as any is between this and his head ; Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these he hath fought with a warrener. letters tightly ;
Quick. How say you?-O, I should rememSail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
ber him ; Does he not hold up his head, as it Rogues, hence, avaunt ! vanish like hail-stones, were? and strut in his gait? go;
Sim. Yes, indeed, does he. Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seek shelter,
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse pack!
fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do Falstaff will learn the humour of this age,
what I can for your master: Anne is a good French thrift, you rogues ; myself, and skirted girl, and I wish page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Robin.
Re-enter RUGBY. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts ! for gourd and fullam holds,
Rug. Out, alas ! here comes my master. And high and low beguile the rich and poor : Quick. We shall all be shent : Run in here, Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack, good young man ; go into this closet. [Shuts Base Phrygian Turk !
Simple in the closet.] He will not stay long:Nym. I have operations in my head, which what, John Rugby! John, what, John, ! say!
-Go, John, go enquire for my master ; I doubt,
be humours of revenge.
glad he went not in himself : if he had found then Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir
he be not well, that he comes not home :-and Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one down, down, adown-a, &c.
[Sings. body's hand. Enter Doctor Caius.
Quick. Are you avis'd o' that? you shall find
it a great charge: and to be up early and down Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese late ;-but notwithstanding, (to tell you in your toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet ear; I would have no words of it ;) my master un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box ; Do in- himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but tend vat I speak? a green-a box.
notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind, , . young man, he would have been horn-mad.
Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his
[Aside. troat in de park ; and I vill teach a scurvy jackCaius. Fe, fe fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. a-nape priest to meddle or make :--you may
be Je m'en vais à la Cour, la grand affaire. gone; it is not good you tarry here :by gar, I Quick. Is it this, sir?
vill cut all his two stones ; by gar, he shall not Caius. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; Depeche, have a stone to trow at his dog [Exit Simple
. quickly :-Vere is dat knave Rugby?
Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Quick. What, John Rugby! John !
Caius. It is no matter-a for dat : do not you Rug. Here, sir.
tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are --by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest ; and I have Jack Rugby: Come, take-a your rapier, and appointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure come after my heel to de court.
our weapon :-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Rug. 'Tis ready, sir,
here in the porch. Page. Caius. By my trot, I tarry too long :-Od’s
Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall me ! Qu'ay j'oublié ? dere is some simples in my be well: we must give folks leave to prate : closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave What, the good-jer ! behind.
Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me ;Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your there, and be mad.
head out of my door :-Follow my heels, Rugby. Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?
[Exeunt Caius and Rugby. Villainy !larron! (Pulling Simple out.] Rugby, Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your my rapier.
own. No, I know Anne's mind for that : never Quick. Good master, be content.
a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a?
than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, Quick. The young man is an honest man. I thank heaven.
Caius. Vat shall the honest man do in my Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? closet ? dere is no honest man dat shall come in Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the
house, I pray you. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatick ; hear the truth of it: He came of an errand to
Enter FENTON. me from parson Hugh.
Fent. How now, good woman ; how dost thou? Caius. Vell.
Quick. The better that it pleases your good Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to
worship to ask. Quick. Peace, I pray you.
Fent. What news ? how does pretty mistress Caius. Peace-a your tongue :—Speak-a your Anne ? tale.
Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, honest, and gentle ; and one that is your friend, your maid, to speak a good word to mistress I can tell you that by the way, I praise heaven Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage. for it.
Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? put my finger in the fire, and need not.
Shall I not lose
suit? Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you ?-Rugby, baillez Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above : me some paper : Tarry you a little a while. but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be
[Writes. sworn on a book, she loves you :-Have not Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had your worship a wart above your eye? been thoroughly moved, you should have heard Fent. Yes, marry, have I ; what of that? him so loud, and so melancholy ;-But notwith- Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;-good standing, man, I'll do your master what good I faith, it is such another Nan;—but, I detest, an can: and the very yea and the no is, the French honest maid as ever broke bread : We had an doctor, my master, -I may call him my master, hour's talk of that wart;-I shall never laugh look you,' for I keep his house ; and I wash, but in that maid's company - But, indeed, she wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, is given too much to allicholly and musing : but make the beds, and do all myself ;
for you-Well, go to.