« PreviousContinue »
SCENE I. A room in the palace. wants money, means, and content, is without
three good friends :- That the property of rain Later Duke FREDERICK, OLIVER, Lords, and is to wet, and fire to burn : That good pasture Attendants.
makes fat sheep; and that a great cause of the Duke F. Not see him since ? Sir, sir, that night, is lack of the sun: That he, that hath cannot be :
learned no wit by nature nor art, may complain But were I not the better part made mercy, of good breeding, or comes of a very dull kindred. I should not seek an absent argument
Touch. Such a one is a natural philosopher.
Cor. No, truly
Touch. Truly, thou art damn'd; like an illa
never saw'st good manners; if thou never saw'st Oli. O, that your highness knew my heart in this! good manners, then thy manners must be wickI never lov'd my brother in my
ed; and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation: Duke F. More villain thou.—Well, push him Thou art in a parlous state, shepherd. out of doors ;
Cor. Not a whit, Touchstone : those, that are And let my officers of such a nature
good manners at the court, are as ridiculous in Make an extent upon his house and lands : the country, as the behaviour of the country is Do this expediently, and turn him going. most mockable at the court. You told me, you
[Exeunt. salute not at the court, but you kiss your hands ;
that courtesy would be uncleanly, if courtiers SCENE II.-The forest.
Touch. Instance, briefly; come, instance. Enter ORLANDO, with a paper.
Cor. Why, we are still handling our ewes ; Orl. Hang there, my verse, in witness of my and their fells, you know, are greasy.
Touch. Why, do not your courtier's hands And thou, thrice-crowned queen of night, survey sweat ? and is not the grease of a mutton as With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above, wholesome as the sweat of a man ? Shallow,
Thy huntress' name, that my full life doth sway. shallow: A better instance, I say; come. O Rosalind ! these trees shall be my books, Cor. Besides, our hands are hard.
And in their barks my thoughts I'll character; Touch. Your lips will feel them the sooner. That every eye, which in this forest looks, Shallow, again: A more sounder instance, come.
Shall see thy virtue witness'd every where. Cor. And they are often tarr'd over with the Run, run, Orlando ; carve, on every tree, surgery of our sheep; and would you have us The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she. [Exit. kiss tar? The courtier's hands are perfumed
with civet. Enter Cokin and TouchSTONE.
Touch. Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat, Cor. And how like you this shepherd's life, in respect of a good piece of flesh: Indeed ! master Touchstone ?
Learn of the wise, and perpend: Civet is of a Touch. Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, baser birth than tar; the very uncleanly flux of it is a good life; but in respect that it is a shep- a cat. Mend the instance, shepherd. herd's life, it is naught. In respect that it is so- Cor. You have too courtly a wit for me; I'll litary, I like it very well ; but in respect that it rest. is private, it is a very vile life. Now, in respect Touch. Wilt thou rest damn'd? God help it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in thee, shallow man! God make incision in thee! respect it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it thou art raw. is a spare life, look you, it fits my humour well ; Cor. Sir, I am a true labourer ; I earn that I but as there is no more plenty in it, it goes much eat, get that I wear; owe no man hate, envy against my stomach. Hast any philosophy in no man's happiness ; glad of other men's good, thee, shepherd ?
content with my harm ; and the greatest of my Cor. No more, but that I know, the more one pride is, to see my ewes graze, and my lambs suck. sickens, the worse at ease he is; and that he that Touch. That is another simple sin in you ; to
bring the ewes and the rams together, and to That the stretching of a span offer to get your living by the copulation of cattle:
Buckles in his sum of age. to be bawd to a bell-wether; and to betray a Some, of violated vows she-lamb of a twelvemonth, to a crooked-pated,
'Twirt the souls of friend and friend : old, cuckoldly ram, out of all reasonable match. But upon the fairest boughs, If thou beʼst not damn'd for this, the devil him
Or at every sentence' end, self will have no shepherds ; I cannot see else Will I Rosalinda write; how thou shouldst 'scape.
Teaching all that read, to know Cor. Here comes young master Ganymede, The quintessence of every sprite my new mistress's brother.
Heaven would in little show.
Therefore heaven nature charg'd,
That one body should be filld
With all graces wide enlarg'd:
Nature presently distilld
Helen's cheek, but not her heart :
Atalanta's better part;
Sad Lucretia's modesty.
Thus Rosalind of many parts
By heavenly synod was devis'd;
Of many faces, eyes, and hearts, Touch. I'll rhyme you so, eight years together;
To have the touches dearest priz'd. dinners, and suppers, and sleeping hours except- Heaven would that she these gifts should have, ed: it is the right butter-woman's rank to mar- And I to live and die her slave. ket. Ros. Out, fool!
Ros. O most gentle Jupiter !—what tedious Touch. For a taste :
homily of love have you wearied your parishion
ers withal, and never cry'd, Have patience, good If a hart do lack a hind,
people! Let him seek out Rosalind.
. How now! back, friends ;-Shepherd, If the cat will after kind,
go off a little :--Go with him, sirrah. So, be sure, will Rosalind.
Touch. Come, shepherd, let us make an hoWinter-garments must be lin'd,
nourable retreat ; though not with bag and bag, So must slender Rosalind.
gage, yet with scrip and scrippage. They that reap, must sheaf and bind ;
[Exeunt Corin and Touchstone. Then to cart with Rosalind.
Cel. Didst thou hear these verses ?
Ros. O, yes, I heard them all, and more too;
for some of them had in them more feet than the He that sweetest rose will find,
verses would bear. Must find love's prick, and Rosalind. Cel. That's no matter ; the feet might bear
the verses. This is the very false gallop of verses ; Why do Ros. Ay, but the feet were lame, and could you infect yourself with them?
not bear themselves without the verse, and Ros. Peace, you dull fool ; I found them on therefore stood lamely in the verse. a tree.
Cel. But didst thou hear, without wondering Touch. Truly, the tree yields bad fruit. how thy name should be hang'd and carved up
Ros. I'll graff it with you, and then I shall on these trees ? graff it with
a medlar : then it will be the ear- Ros. I was seven of the nine days out of the liest fruit in the country: for you'll be rotten wonder before you came ; for look' here what I
you be half ripe, and that's the right virtue found on a palm-tree: I was never so be-rhymed of the medlar.
since Pythagoras' time, that I was an Irish rat, Touch. You have said ; but whether wisely which I can hardly remember. or no, let the forest judge.
Cel. Trow you, who hath done this?
Ros. Is it a man?
Cel. And a chain, that you once wore, about Ros. Peace!
his neck: Change you colour ? Here comes my sister, reading; stand aside. Ros. I pr’ythee, who?
Cel. o lord, lord ! it is a hard matter for Cel. Why should this desert silent be? friends to meet; but mountains may be remoFor it is unpeopled ? No;
ved with earthquakes, and so encounter.
Ros. Nay, but who is it?
Cel. Is it possible ?
Ros. Nay, I pray thee now, with most peti-
Cel. O wonderful, wonderful, and most won- Ros. Do you not know I am a woman ? when derful wonderful, and yet again wonderful, and I think, I must speak. Sweet, say on. after that out of all whooping! Ros. Good my complexion ! dost thou think,
Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES. though I am caparison'd like a man, I have a Cel. You bring me out :-Soft! comes he not doublet and hose in my disposition ? One inch here. of delay more is a South-sea-off discovery. I Ros. 'Tis he; slink by, and note him. pr’ythee, tell me, who is it? quickly, and speak
[Celia and Rosalind retire. apace: I would thou couldst stammer, that thou Jaq. I thank you for your company; but, might'st pour this concealed man out of thy good faith, I had as lief have been myself alone. mouth, as wine comes out of a narrow-mouth'á Orl. And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, bottle; either too much at once, or none at all. I thank you too for your society. I pr’ythee take the cork out of thy mouth, that Jaq. God be with you ; let's meet as little as I may drink thy tidings.
Cel. So you may put a man in your belly. Orl, I do desire we may be better strangers.
Ros. Is he of God's making? What manner Jag. I pray you, mar no more trees with wriof man? Is his head worth a hat, or his chinting love-songs in their barks. worth a beard ?
Orl. I pray you, mar no more of my verses Cel. Nay, he hath but a little beard.
with reading them ill-favouredly. Ros. Why, God will send more, if the man Jaq. Rosalind is your love's name? will be thankful: let me stay the growth of his Orl. Yes, just. beard, if thou delay me not the knowledge of Jaq. I do not like her name. his chin.
Orl. There was no thought of pleasing you, Cel. It is young Orlando; that tripp'd up the when she was christen’d. wrestler's heels, and your heart, both in an instant. Jaq. What stature is she of?
Ros. Nay, but the devil take mocking; speak Orl. Just as high as my heart. sad brow, and true maid.
Jaq. You are full of pretty answers : Have Cel. I'faith, coz, 'tis he.
you not been acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, Ros. Orlando?
and conn'd them out of rings? Cel. Orlando.
Orl. Not so; but I answer you right painted Ros. Alas the day! what shall I do with my cloth, from whence you have studied your quesdoublet and hose? -What did he, when thoutions. saw'st him ? What said he? How look'd he? Jaq. You have a nimble wit; I think it was Wherein went he? What makes he here? Did made of Atalanta's heels. Will you sit down he ask for me? Where remains he? How part- with me? and we two will rail against our mise ed he with thee? and when shalt thou see him tress the world, and all our misery. again ? Answer me in one word.
Orl. I will chide no breather in the world, Cel. You must borrow me Garagantua's mouth but myself ; against whom I know most faults. first : 'tis a word too great for any mouth of this Jaq. The worst fault you have, is to be in age's size: To say, ay, and no, to these parti- love. culars, is more than to answer in a catechism. Orl. "Tis a fault I will not change for your
Ros. But doth he know that I am in this fo- | best virtue. I am weary of you. rest, and in man's apparel ? Looks he as freshly Jaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a fool, as he did the day he wrestled ?
when I found you. Cel. It is as easy to count atomies, as to re- Orl. He is drown'd in the brook ; look but in, solve the propositions of a lover :--but take a and you shall see him. taste of my finding him, and relish it with a Jaq. There shall I see mine own figure. good observance. I found him under a tree, Ori. Which I take to be either a fool, or a like a dropp'd acorn.
cypher. Ros. It may well be call’d Jove's tree, when Jaq. I'll tarry no longer with you : farewell, it drops forth such fruit.
good signior love. Cel. Give me audience, good madam.
Orl. I am glad of your departure: adieu, Ros. Proceed.
good monsieur melancholy. Cel. There lay he, stretch'd along, like a [Exit Jaques.--Celia and Rosalind come wounded knight.
forward. Ros. Though it be pity to see such a sight, it Ros. I will speak to him like a saucy lacquey, well becomes the ground.
and under that habit play the knave with him. Cel. Cry, holla! to thy tongue, I pr’ythee;
you hear, forester it curvets very unscasonably. He was furnish'd Orl. Very well ; What would you ? like a hunter.
Ros. I pray you, what is't o'clock ? Ros. O ominous ! he comes to kill my heart. Orl. You should ask me, what time o'day;
Cel. I would sing my song without a burden: there's no clock in the forest. thou bring'st me out of tune.
Ros. Then there is no true lover in the foVOL. I.
rest ; else sighing every minute, and groaning | all, forsooth, deifying the name of Rosalind : if every hour, would detect the lazy foot of time, I could meet that fancy-monger, I would give as well as a clock.
him some good counsel, for he seems to have Orl. And why not the swift foot of time? had the quotidian of love upon him. not that been as proper ?
Orl. I am he that is so love-shaked ; I pray Ros. By no means, sir: Time travels in di- you, tell me your remedy. vers paces with divers persons : I'll tell you who Ros. There is none of my uncle's marks upon time ambles withal, who time trots withal, who you: he taught me how to know a man in love; time gallops withal, and who he stands still in which cage of rushes, I am sure, you are not withal.
prisoner. Orl. I pr’ythee, who doth he trot withal ? Orl. What were his marks ?
Ros. Marry, he trots hard with a young maid, Ros. A lean cheek; which you have not : 8 between the contract of her marriage, and the blue eye, and sunken ; which you have not: an day it is solemnized : if the interim be but a se'n- unquestionable spirit; which you have not: 2 night, time's pace is so hard, that it seems the beard neglected which you have not :-but I length of seven years.
pardon you for that ; for, simply, your having Orl. Who ambles time withal ?
in beard is a younger brother's revenue:-Then Ros. With a priest, that lacks Latin, and a your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unrich man, that hath not the gout: for the one banded, your sleeve unbutton'd, your shoe unsleeps easily, because he cannot study; and the tied, and every thing about you demonstrating other lives merrily, because he feels no pain : a careless desolation. But you are no such man; the one lacking the burden of lean and waste- you are rather point-device in your accoutreful learning; the other knowing no burden ments; as loving yourself, than seeming the of heavy tedious penury: These time ambles lover of any other. withal.
Orl. Fair youth, I would I could make the Orl. Who doth he gallop withal ?
believe I love. Ros. With a thief to the gallows : for though Ros. Me believe it? you may as soon make he go as softly as foot can fall, he thinks himself her that you love believe it ; which, I warrant, too soon there.
she is apter to do, tlian to confess she does : that Orl. Who stays it still withal?
is one of the points, in the which women still Ros. With lawyers in the vacation : for they give the lịe to their consciences. But, in good sleep between term and term, and then they per- sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on the ceive not how time moves.
trees, wherein Rosalind is so admired ? Orl. Where dwell you, pretty youth? Orl. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand
Ros. With this shepherdess, my sister ; here of Rosalind, I am that he, that unfortunate he. in the skirts of the forest, like fringe upon a Ros. But are you so much in love as your petticoat.
rhymes speak ? Orl. Are you native of this place?
Orl. Neither rhyme nor reason can express Ros. As the coney, that you see dwell where how much. she is kindled.
Ros. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell Orl. Your accent is something finer than you you, deserves as well a dark house and a whip, could purchase in so removed a dwelling. as madmen do: and the reason why they are
Ros. I have been told so of many: but, in- not so punished and cured, is, that the lunacy is deed, an old religious uncle of mine taught me so ordinary, that the whippers are in love too: to speak, who was in his youth an in-land man; Yet I protess curing it by counsel. one that knew courtship too well, for there he Orl. Did you ever cure any so? fell in love. I have heard him read many lec- Ros. Yes, one; and in this manner. He tures against it; and I thank God I am not a was to imagine me his love, his mistress; and I woman, to be touched with so many giddy set him every day to woo me: At which time offences as he hath generally tax'd their whole would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be sex withal.
effeminate, changeable, longing, and liking; Orl. Can you remember any of the principal proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, evils, that he laid to the charge of women ? full of tears, full of smiles ; for every passion
Ros. There were none principal; they were something, and for no passion truly any thing, all like one another, as half-pence are: every as boys and women are for the most part cattle one fault seeming monstrous, till his fellow of this colour: would now like him, now loath fault came to match it.
him; then entertain him, then forswear him; Orl. I pr’ythee, recount some of them. now weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave
Ros. No; I will not cast away my physic, my suitor from his mad humour of love, to a livbut on those that are sick. There is a man ing humour of madness; which was, to forhaunts the forest, that abuses our young plants swear the full stream of the world, and to live with carving Rosalind on their barks; hangs in a nook merely monastick : And thus I cured odes upon hawthorns, and elegies on brambles; him; and this way will I take upon me to wash
your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart, that Jaq. I would fain see this meeting. [Aside. there shall not be one spot of love in't.
Aud. Well, the gods give us joy ! Orl. I would not be cured, youth.
Touch. Amen. A man may, it he were of a Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call fearful heart, stagger in this attempt; for here me Rosalind, and come every day to my cote, and we have no temple but the wood, no assembly
but horn-beasts. But what though ? Courage ! Orl. Now, by the faith of my love, I will; As horns are odious, they are necessary. It is tell me where it is.
said,-Many a man knows no end of his goods : Ros. Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; right: many a man has good horns, and knows and, by the way, you shall tell me where in the no end of them. Well, that is the dowry of his forest you live: Will you go?
wife ; 'tis none of his own getting. Horns ? Orl. With all my heart, good youth.
No, no; the Ros. Nay, you must call me Rosalind :- noblest deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is Come, sister, will you go?
[Eceunt. the single man therefore blessed ? No: as a wall’d
town is more worthier than a village, so is the SCENE III.
forehead of a married man more honourable than
the bare brow of a bachelor : and by how much Enter Touchstone and AUDREY; JAQUES at defence is better than no skill, by so much is a a distance observing them.
horn more precious than to want. Touch. Come apace, good Audrey; I will
Enter Sir OLIVER MAR-TEXT. fetch up your goats, Audrey: And how, Audrey ? am I the man yet? Doth my simple fea- Here comes sir Oliver :-Sir Oliver Mar-text, ture content you?
you are well met: Will you dispatch us here Aud. Your features! Lord warrant us ! what under this tree, or shall we go with you to your features ?
chapel ? Touch. I am here with thee and thy goats, as Sir Oli. Is there none here to give the woman? the most capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among Touch. I will not take her on gift of any man. the Goths.
Sir Oli. Truly she must be given, or the marJaq. O knowledge ill-inhabited ! worse than riage is not lawful. Jove in a thatch'a house!
[Aside. Jaq. [Discovering himself:] Proceed, proTouch. When a man's verses cannot be under-ceed ; I'll give her. stood, nor a man's good wit seconded with the Touch. Good even, good master What ye calt: forward child, understanding, it strikes a man How do you, sir ? You are very well met: more dead than a great reckoning in a little room: God’ild you for your last company : I am very -Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical. glad to see you:-Even a toy in hand here, sir:
Aud. I do not know what poetical is: Is it Nay; pray, be cover'd. honest in deed and word ? Is it a true thing? Jaq. Will you be married, motley ?
Touch. No, truly; for the truest poetry is the Touch. As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse most feigning; and lovers are given to poetry; his curb, and the faulcon her bells, so man hath and what they swear in poetry, may be said, as his desires; and as pigeons bill, so wedlock would lovers, they do feign.
be nibbling. Aud. Do you wish then, that the gods had Jaq. And will you, being a man of your breedmade me poetical ?
ing, be married under a bush, like a beggar? Touch. I do, truly: for thou swear'st to me, Get you to church, and have a good priest, that thou art honest; now, if thou wert a poet, I can tell you what marriage is : this fellow will might have some hope thou didst feign. but join you together as they join wainscot; then Aud. Would you not have me honest ? one of you will prove a shrunk pannel, and, like
Touch. No truly, unless thou wert hard-fa- green timber, warp, warp. pour’d; for honesty coupled to beauty, is to have Touch. I am not in the mind but I were better honey a sauce to sugar,
to be married of him than of another : for he is Jaq. A material fool!
[ Aside. not like to marry me well; and not being well Aud. Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray married, it will be a good excuse for me hereafter the gods make me honest !
to leave my wife.
Aside. Touch. Truly, and to cast away honesty upon Jaq. Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee. a foul slut, were to put good meat into an unclean Touch. Come, sweet Audrey; dish.
We must be married, or we must live in bawdry. Aud. I am not a slut, though I thank the gods Farewell, good master Oliver ! I am foul.
Not-0 sweet Oliver, Touch. Well, praised be the gods for thy foul
O brave Oliver, ness ! sluttishness may come hereafter. But be Leave me not behi' thee; it as it may be, I will marry thee: and to that end,
But-Wind away, I have been with Sir Oliver Mar-text, the vicar
Begone, I say, of the next village ; who hath promised to meet I will not to wedding wi' thee. me in this place of the forest, and to couple us. [Exeunt Jaques, Touchstone, and Audrey.