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Whereto if you'll a willing ear incline, So, bring us to our palace; where we'll show What's mine is yours, and what is yours is What's yet behind, that's meet you all should mine.
THE COMEDY OF ERRORS.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ. Solinus, Duke of Ephesus.
Angelo, a Goldsmith. Ægeon, a Merchant of Syracuse.
Merchant, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse.
Twin Brothers, sons Pinch, a Schoolmaster and a Conjurer. Antipholus of Ephesus,
to Antipholus of Syracuse,
Ægeon and Æmilia, wife to Ægeon, an Abbess at Ephesus. Æmilia,
Adriana, Wife to Antipholus of Ephesus. Dromio of Ephesus,
Twin Brothers, attend- Luciana, her Sister.
ants on the two Anti- Luce, servant tu Adriana.
Gaoler, Officers, and other Attendants. SCENE,-Ephesus.
Yet, that the world may witness that my end
Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence, SCENE I.-A Hall in the Duke's Palace.
I'll utter what my sorrow gives me leave. Enter Duke, Ægeon, Gaoler, Officers, and in Syracusa was I born ; and wed other Attendants.
Unto a woman, happy but for me, Æge. Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall, And by me too, had not our hap been bad. And by the doom of death end woes and all. With her I liv'd in joy : our wealth increas'd
Duke. Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more. By prosperous voyages I often made I am not partial, to infringe our laws : To Epidamnum ; till my factor's death, The enmity and discord which of late (duke And the great care of goods at random left, Sprung from the rancorous outrage of your Drew me from kind embracements of my To merchants, our well-dealing countrymen,
[old, Who, wanting gilders to redeem their lives, From home my absence was not six months Have seal'd his rigorous statutes with their Before herself (almost at fainting under bloods,
The pleasing punishment that women bear) Excludes all pity from our threat'ning looks. Had made provision for her following me, For, since the mortal and intestine jars And soon and safe arrived where I was. 'Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us, There had she not been long, but she became It hath in solemn synods been decreed, A joyful mother of two goodly sons ;
(other, Both by the Syracusans and ourselves, And, which was strange, the one so like the To admit no traffic to our adverse towns : As could not be distinguish'd but by names. Nay, more, if any, born at Ephesus, That very hour, and in the self-same inn, Be seen at Syracusan marts and fairs ; A poor mean woman was delivered Again, if any Syracusan born
Of such a burden, male twins, both alike. Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,
Those, for their parents were exceeding His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose,
poor, — Unless a thousand marks be levied,
I bought, and brought up to attend my sons.
Before the always wind-obeying deep
For what obscured light the heavens did grant,
brac'd, Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable : Yet the incessant weepings of my wife,
Weeping before for what she saw must come, Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see,
for other means was none. And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus,
have mark'd The children thus dispos'd, my wife and I, To bear the extremity of dire mishap ! Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd, Now, trust me, were it not against our laws, Fastend ourselves at either end the mast ; Against my crown, my oath, my dignity, And floating straight, obedient to the stream, Which princes, would they, may not disannul, Were carried towards Corinth as we thought. My soul should sue as advocate for thee. At length, the sun, gazing upon the earth, But though thou art adjudged to the death, Dispers'd those vapours that offended us ; And passed sentence may not be recall'd And, by the benefit of his wish'd light, But to our honour's great disparagement, The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered Yet will I favour thee in what I can : Two ships from far making amain to us; Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day, Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this :
To seek thy life by beneficial help. But ere they came,-0, let me say no more! Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus; Gather the sequel by that went before. Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum, Duke. Nay, forward, old man; do not And live; if no, then thou art doom'd to die. break off so ;
Gaoler, take him to thy custody. For we may pity, though not pardon thee. Gaol. I will, my lord.
(wend, Ege. O, had the gods done so, I had not now Æge. Hopeless, and helpless, doth Ægeon Worthily term'd them merciless to us! But to procrastinate his lifeless end. (Exeunt. For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues,
SCENE II.-A public Place. We were encounter'd by a mighty rock ; Enter Antipholus of Syracuse, Dromio of Which being violently borne upon,
Syracuse, and a Merchant, Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst ; Mer. Therefore, give out you are of EpiSo that, in this unjust divorce of us,
damnum, Fortune had left to both of us alike
Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate. What to delight in, what to sorrow for. This very day, a Syracusan merchant Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened Is apprehended for arrival here ; With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe, And, not being able to buy out his life, Was carried with more speed before the wind; According to the statute of the town, And in our sight they three were taken up Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought. There is your money that I had to keep. At length, another ship had seiz'd on us; Ant. S. Go bear it to the Centaur, where ind, knowing whom it was their hap to save, we host, Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. guests ;
Within this hour it will be dinner-time : And would have reft the fishers of their prey, Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, Had not their bark been very slow of sail, Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, And therefore homeward did they bend their And then return, and sleep within mine inn,
For with long travel I am stiff and weary. Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss; Get thee away.
(your word, That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd, Dro. S. Many a man would take you at To tell sad stories of my own mishaps. And
go indeed, having so good a mean. Duke. And, for the sake of them thou
[Erit. sorrowest for,
Ant. S. A trusty villain, sir ; that very oft, Do me the favour to dilate at full
When I am dull with care and melancholy, What hath befall'n of them, and thee, till now. Lightens my humour with his merry jests.
reg. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest What, will you walk with me about the town, At eighteen years became inquisitive (care, And then go to my inn, and dine with me? After his brother; and importun'd me,
Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, That his attendant (for his case was like, Of whom I hope to make much benefit ; Rest of his brother, but retain'd his name), I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock, Might bear him company in the quest of him : Please you, I'l meet with you upon the mart,
And afterward consort you till bed-time : In what safe place you have bestow'd my
That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd; And wander up and down to view the city. Where is the thousand marks thou had'st of Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own con- me?
(my pate ; tent.
[Exit. Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon Ant. S. He that commends me to mine own Some of my mistress' marks upon my content,
shoulders ; Commends me to the thing I cannot get. But not a thousand marks between you both. I to the world am like a drop of water, If I should pay your worship those again, That in the ocean seeks another drop; Perchance you will not bear them patiently. Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, Ant. $. Thy mistress' marks? what misUnseen, inquisitive, confounds himself:
tress, slave, hast thou ? So I, to find a mother, and a brother,
Dro. E. Your worship’s wife, my mistress In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.
at the Phenix ; Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
She that doth fast till you come home to dinner, Here comes the almanack of my true date.— And prays that you will hie you home to dinner. What now? How chance thou art return'd so Ant. S. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto soon ?
[too late : my face, Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, Dro. E. What mean you, sir? for God's The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell, sake, hold your hands ! My mistress made it one upon my cheek : Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. She is so hot, because the meat is cold ;
[Exit. The meat is cold, because you come not home; Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or You come not home, because you have no other, stomach ;
The villain is o'er-raught of all my money. You have no stomach, having broke your fast: They say this town is full of cozenage ; But we, that know what 'tis to fast and pray, As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye, Are penitent for your default to-day. Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind, Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
[you? Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, Where have you left the money that I gave And many such like liberties of sin : Dro. E. 0,—sixpence, that I had o' Wed- If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner. nesday last
I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave : To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper :- I greatly fear my money is not safe. [Exit. The saddler had it, sir ; I kept it not.
Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now :
SCENE I.---Antipholus's House.
Enter Adriana and Luciana. dinner :
Adr. Neither my husband, nor the slave I from my mistress come to you in post;
return'd, If I return, I shall be post indeed,
That in such haste I sent to seek his master ! For she will score your fault upon my pate. Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock. Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your Luc. Perhaps some merchant hath invited clock,
[dinner. And strike you home without a messenger.
And from the mart he's somewhere gone to Ant. S. Come, Dromio, come, these jests Good sister, let us dine, and never fret : are out of season ;
A man is master of his liberty : Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. Time is their master; and, when they see time, Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee? They'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister. Dro. E. To me, sir? why, you gave no gold Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be to me. Tfoolishness, more?
door. Ant. S. Comeon, sir knave; have done your Luc. Because their business still lies out o And tell me how thou hast dispos'd thy charge. Adr, Look, when I serve him so, he takes Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you
it ill. from the mart
Luc. O, know he is the bridle of your will. Home to your house, the Phænix, sir, to dinner : Adr. There's none but asses will be bridled My mistress and her sister stay for you.
(woe. Ant. S. Now, as I am a Christian, answer Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with me,
There's nothing, situate under heaven's eye,
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky: I know not thy mistress ; out on thy mistress !'
[home? Adr. This servitude makes you to keep Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten unwed.
[bed. For God's sake, send some other messenger ! Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage- Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate Adr. But, were you wedded, you would
(other beating : hear some sway?
Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Between you, I shall have a holy head. Adr. How if your husband start some other Adr. Hence, prating peasant! fetch thy where? [bear. master home.
(with me, Luc. Till he come honie again, I would for- Dro. E. Am I so round with you, as you Adr. Patience unmov'd, no marvel though That like a football you do spurn me thus? she pause :
You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me They can be meek, that have no other cause. hither : A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity, If I last in this service, you must case me in We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
[Exit. But were we burden'd with like weight of pain, Luc. Fie, how impatience loureth in your As much, or more, we should ourselves com
(grace, plain :
[thee, Adr. His company must do his ininions So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. With urging helpless patience wouldst relieve Hath homely age th' alluring beauty took But, if thou live to see like right bereft, (me; From my poor cheek? then, he hath wasted it : This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. Are my discourses dull? barren my wit ?
Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try. If voluble and sharp discourse be marrd, Here comes your man; now is your husband Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard : nigh.
Do their gay vestments his affections bait? Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
That's not my fault,-he's master of my state : Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand? What ruins are in me that can be found
Dro. E. Nay, he's at two hands with me, By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground and that my two ears can witness.
Of my defeatures. My decayed fair Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him ? | A sunny look of his would soon repair ; Know'st thou his mind ?
But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale, Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon And feeds from home: poor I am but his stale. moine ear: beshrew his hand, I scarce could Luc. Self-harming jealousy !---fie, beat it understand it.
[dispense. Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs not feel his meaning ?
I know his eye doth homage other where, Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could Or else, what lets it but he would be here? too well feel his blows; and withal so doubt. Sister, you know he promis'd me a chain : fully, that I could scarce understand them. Would that alone, alone he would detain,
Adr. But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home? So he would keep fair quarter with his bed ! It seems, he hath great care to please his wife. I see, the jewel best enamelled (still,
Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is Will lose his beauty; and though gold bides Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain! (horn-mad. That others touch, yet often touching will
Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; Wear gold: and no man that hath a name, But, sure, he is stark mad.
By falsehood and corruption doth it shame. When I desir'd him to come home to dinner, Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold : I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. • "Tis dinner time," quoth I; "My gold,"| Luc. How many fond fools serve mad quoth he : [quoth he: jealousy!
(Exeunt. * Your meat doth burn," quoth I; "My gold," Will you come home?" quoth 1 : “My
SCENE II.-A public Place. gold," quoth he:
(villain ? Enter Antipholus of Syracuse. ** Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid “The pig," quoth I, “is burn'd;" "My Safe at the Centaur : and the heedful slave (up gold," quoth he :
mistress! Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out. “My mistress, sir," quoth I: "Hang up thy By computation and mine host's report,
I could not speak with Dromio since at first Dro. S. Basting.
Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none
(an-hour since. Ant. S. By what rule, sir ? Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half- Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me plain bald pate of father Time himself. hence,
(me. Ant. S. Let's hear it. Home to the Centaur with the gold you gave Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover Ant. S. Villain, thou didst deny the gold's his hair that grows bald by nature. receipt,
Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and reAnd told'st me of a mistress, and a dinner ;
covery? For which I hope thou felt'st I was displeas'd. Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig, Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merry and recover the lost hair of another man. vein :
(me. Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of What means this jest ? I pray you, master, tell hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement? Ant. S. Yea, dost thou jeer, and flout me Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he in the teeth?
bestows on beasts : and what he hath scanted Think'st thou I jest ? Hold, take thou that, men in hair, he hath given them in wit. and that.
[Beating him Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your more hair than wit. jest is earnest :
Dro. S. Not a man of those, but he hath the Upon what bargain do you give it me ? wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy Do use you for my fool, and chat with you, men plain dealers, without wit. Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost : And make a common of my serious hours. yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity. When the sun shines let foolish gnats make Ant. S. For what reason? sport,
Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too. But creep in crannies when he hides his beams. Ant. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you. If you will jest with me, know my aspect, Dro. S. Sure ones, then. And fashion your demeanour to my looks, Ant. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing. Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
Dro. S. Certain ones, then. Dro. S. Sconce, call you it ? so you would Ant. S. Name them. leave battering, I had rather have it a head : Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he an you use these blows long, I must get a spends in trimming ; the other, that at dinner sconce for my head, and insconce it too ; or they should not drop in his porridge. else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders. But, Ant. S. You would all this time have proved I pray, sir, why am I beaten ?
there is no time for all things. Ant. S. Dost thou not know?
Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time Dro. S. Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten. to recover hair lost by nature. Ant. S. Shall I tell you why?
Ant. S. But your reason was not substanDro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore ; for they tial, why there is no time to recover. say every why hath a wherefore.
Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is 'Ant. S. Why, first, --for flouting me ; and bald, and therefore, to the world's end, will then, wherefore, --for urging it the second have bald followers. time to me.
(beaten out of season, Ant. S. I knew'twould be a bald conclusion. Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus ut soft ! who wafts us yonder? When in the why and the wherefore is neither Enter Adriana and Luciana. Well, sir, I thank you. (rhyme nor reason ? Adr. Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange, and Ant. S. Thank me, sir ! for what?
frown : Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that some other mistress hath thy sweet aspects ; you gave me for nothing.
I am not Adriana, nor thy wife. [row Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give The time was once, when thou unurg'd wouldst you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it That never words were music to thine ear, dinner-time?
[that I have. That never object pleasing in thine eye, Dro. S. No, sir : I think the meat wants That never touch well welcome to thy hand. Ant. S. In good time, sir ; what's tiat ? That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste,