THE GRAND JUROR;

OR, SERVING MY COUNTRY IN GRAND STYLE.

"A PRINTED paper!" said I; "what can it be about?"

66

Why, it's a summons, to be sure!" replied my wife.

"A summons!" I repeated; and I added, in order to give a respectable finish to my speech, "very odd this!"

But, though I said it was odd, I thought it was unpleasant, and even malicious; and for a moment I was disposed to entertain a very unfavorable opinion of Mr. Selvedge the linen-draper, Mr. Giblet the poulterer, Mr. Barrett of the Black Lion, and a few other neighbors from whom we take short credit, to save the necessity of writing a cheque for every trifling sum.

The paper was brought to me, and I then found that it was indeed a summons, but not such a one as I had supposed, inasmuch as it required me, not to attend before the commissioners of the court of conscience, but to serve on the grand jury for the county of Surrey at the assizes about to be holden at Horsemonger-lane.

I was a little disconcerted at this, as if I wish to be thought an excellent member of society, I have no objection to allow others to perform those duties which occupy some time, occasion trouble and expense, and bring no profit.

Such being my taste, I felt no dissatisfaction when I discovered that there was a mistake in the spelling of my name, which is Goslington; but it was here made to appear Guzlington.

This defect, thongh I had no doubt in the world that the summons was intended for me, would, I thought, fully excuse me from attending to it at all; and indeed I considered that it ought to be received as a perfect justification of my conduct in absenting myself if I stated that from the spelling I had supposed it must have been intended for some other person.

But my wife decided that it would be better that I should attend at the time mentioned in the summons, to explain this matter; otherwise I might be fined, which she remarked "would be a fine business."

I concurred with her in this; and accordingly went to the session. house on the appointed day, mixed in the crowd, and waited till the names of the persons called upon to serve, as I had been, were read

over.

When the officer got to the word "Guzlington," I thought the time was come for getting off from the disagreeable task, and resolutely stepped forward, determined to make it known that they had no right to detain me there.

The name of Guzlington was repeated. I heard the question asked -"Is he here?"

I then called out. "I-I-" But, not being in "the habit of public speaking," as the phrase is, I could not get any further.

"He does not answer," said the officer.

"Say 'here'!" cried a grubby faced man on my left hand, whom I recognised as one of the parish constables.

"Oh, he answers!" I heard the clerk say, and I saw him about to write something.

"I wish to explain," said I, "that my name is not Guzlington." "Then what did you answer to it for? You called out here!" " said the clerk.

"I was told to do so."

"You were told to do so!" echoed the clerk, bestowing on me a glance of official contempt. "I suppose you know your own name when you hear it, and understand that you are not to speak for an. other."

"I wish to explain,” said I; and then, determined to finish this business out of hand, I went on: "a notice has been left at my house, addressed to Mr. Guzlington; but that," I added, proudly drawing myself up, "is no name of mine."

"What is your name?"

"Not Guzlington, but"-and now I thought the matter would be settled in a moment," but," I repeated, "Gosling-"

"Very well, that will do!" he replied, and wrote in his book.

The business was settled quite as soon as I expected it would be, but in a different manner; for the Testament was instantly handed to me, and I was sworn to serve as a grand juror.

I was rather vexed at this result, as I knew it would cause my eloquence to be very disparagingly spoken of at home. However, there was no help for it; and after a speech had been delivered by the chairman for the purpose of instructing us in our duty, which, from the noise that prevailed, none of us could hear, we were conducted to the room reserved for the deliberations of the grand jury.

The first thing I saw when I got there was a bill of fare, which some of my fellow jurors proceeded immediately to take into their most serious consideration. I was favored with a perusal of it; and I really felt a good deal consoled for my recent failure while going over this document. Salmon, soles, fowls, tongue, saddle of mutton, custardpudding, and tarts, all set forth in goodly array, seemed to promise a very considerable amelioration of the duties which I had to perform-for I took it for granted that the public was to pay for all; but my satis faction was considerably abated when I got to the end, and found it distinctly stated that seven and sixpence was to be charged to each individual.

The names were now called over by the gentleman who had been named our foreman. When he reached what was supposed to be my patronymic, and which had been so carefully corrected in open court, I found that the officer there had considerably improved on the original blunder, and, instead of Gosling having been substituted for Guzling, the latter word was prefixed to my proper name, which accordingly appeared from this list to be Guzling Goslington!

I started with indignation at finding myself thus described, and animadverted with considerable severity on the hurry and negligent man. ner in which the business of the country was performed by some of its officers, who were but too well paid. I doubted whether I could be compelled to remain, being thus improperly described; but my nextdoor neighbor, Mr. Kneller the undertaker, remarked that I had been sworn, and hoped that they should not lose the pleasure of my com. pany in consequence of a foolish mistake,-for such he and all the other jurors thought it; and they laughed at it therefore very heartily,

or else—but I have no serious reason for suspecting that they laughed

at me.

I eventually decided to stay! for, besides being somewhat in doubt that the inaccuracy which I have mentioned would not be a legal justification for then absenting myself, I thought so to act might be con. sidered shabby, and I did not like to be thought meanly of for seven and sixpence.

So my real name, Tristram, was inserted in the list. I insisted on this reparation; and I took my seat at the table with the rest of the company.

And now began a very important proceeding indeed. It was necessary to know exactly how many gentlemen proposed to dine there. I permitted my friend Kneller to name me for onc, and immediately after this the foreman called upon me for a guinea.

I did not clearly understand this; but, as Mr. Kneller told me it was usual, I thought it was better to comply with a good grace than to risk being suspected of meanness or of poverty. Nearly all the gentlemen present put down the same sum. The chairman remarked that we had thus got a snug little fund, which, the undertaker added, he hoped would keep us alive.

I now concluded that the most disagreeable part of the day's work was over, for it is not pleasant to be taxed and laughed at; when my friend, Kneller, very good naturedly observed, that it was the first time he had had the happiness of seeing me there, and he believed I had never served on the grand jury before.

I answered, with great alacrity, that he was right on both points. "Then, Mr. Foreman," said the undertaker, with all the grave wag. gery peculiar to the mirthful fraternity of which he is a member, “my friend here is a colt."

"Bless me!" said the foreman, in the tone of one who had escaped no common danger, "I had nearly forgotten to look after the coltages !"

And then, that this momentous part of his duty might not again be exposed to omission from his negligence, he proceeded to call over the names ɛeriatim, and to ask the owner of each if he had ever served on the grand jury before.

Three besides me answered as I had done, and each was required to pay ten and sixpence for being a colt.

The fine was rather unpalatable to a man of my economical turn, and I did not feel very grateful to Mr. Kneller for his services on the occasion. However, I put down the money with as good a grace as I could, and while doing so, attempted to be tacetious; remarking that "I suffered for being a colt, while many of my neigh. bors had nothing to pay on account of their being full-grown

asses!"

These important matters had hardly been arranged when a mes. sage came to us that the court waited, and could do nothing till we should have sent up some bills; upon which Mr. Wiggs, the chair. man, said we must proceed to business without loss of time. He suggested that the best course would be, to take the cases of certain houses which were complained of by their neighbors, as upon these, probably, there would be little difference of opinion. We all considered this a very good idea; and to it we went against those questionable abodes, which were started, with all the indispensable

rigmarole of law, to have offended "against our Lord the King, his Crown, and dignity," (our Lady the Queen being then out of the question.) The jury were not long in disposing of them. In the course of half an hour we had a good handful of bills ready. All, I believe, felt as I did, that acting thus we had rendered good service to the morals of the nation; but, in the course of the next twelve months, I had some doubts on the subject. Though the parties presented were convicted, they were let off scot-free, except that they were obliged to abate the nuisance, which was supposed to be done by their removal. But, as three or four of the offenders were inhabitants of the same street, all they did was to change houses, and their trade went on without interruption as usual. The county, however, had to pay the constables and witnesses, and also for the drawing of the indictment and other legal charges. To me it appeared that the character of the neighborhood was not materially improved; but still I must in candor own, that, as it put money into the pockets of the officers and various individuals connected with the prosecution, the main object of the indictment was fully answered.

It would hardly be doing justice to the parties engaged to forward the administration of justice if I were not here to mention that they really make considerable exertions to discourage vice and immorality. That was clearly established by all the evidence given respecting nocturnal disturbances at public-houses, gaming shops, and other places of dissipation. The officers certainly did not go the extreme length of compelling the keepers of such establishments to close their doors at eleven or twelve o'clock at night, which I had previously understood to be their duty; but they subjected the owners to so heavy an impost on keeping open,-I mean, they demanded such large sums as "hush money,"-that it really amounted to a very dreadful penalty, which, connected with the inflexible determination (unchangeable as the law of the Medes and Persians) to punish without mercy those who were so shockingly irregular in their habits as not to keep up regularly their payments to the police inspectors and parish functionaries, must have the effect of deterring many from entering on that course of life, while it holds out a strong inducement for others to leave it. In this way the magistrates of the county, (who touch no per-centage on the tax,) as it constantly works the parties in question, are unanimously of opinion that "the law works well."

We went on with the calendar, which somewhat disappointed me, and, I believe, the whole of the jurors. "There is nothing at all interesting," was the general remark; and some of us were inclined pathetically to deplore that no spirit-stirring murder, no startling assault on man or woman, and no burglary of importance, appeared on our list. In the absence of these we were obliged to put up with the meagre fare of street-rows, begging-letter writers, and stealers of pewter-pots.

Our lot was hard, but we resolved not to suffer alone; and, as "one story is always good till another is told," we bravely sent all whose misdeeds were brought before us to answer for their conduct elsewhere.

Labor so arduous soon made us all feel that sandwiches and sherry were absolutely necessary to go on, and these were accord.

ingly introduced. At a later hour in the day a very good dinner was served up. A true bill was soon found against that; and it was not only tried, but executed with praiseworthy despatch. Considering the toil we had undergone, and the solemn character of the duties we had to perform, we were in pretty good spirits. Mr. Kneller especially seemed to feel himself quite at home, and could not have been more jolly at a funeral.

The cloth removed, not to appear too festive, we determined that only two bottles of wine should remain on the table while we continued our inquiries, which we hoped to bring to a close that day; but that-though, as we proceeded, the witnesses called in became fewer and fewer, and the examinations shorter and shorter,—we could not accomplish, and in the end we were obliged to adjourn to the following morning.

On assembling in the grand jury room on the second day, the first inquiries of the chairman and Mr. Kneller were naturally directed towards dinner. I had paid my guinea on our first meeting, rather than look mean, with a tolerable good grace; but I hardly cared to subscribe a second, and such, I perceived, was the feeling of at least half the company. It produced a series of very genteel excuses, and apologies of the most touching character. One gentleman was obliged to deny himself the enjoyment of our society, as the Lord Mayor on the preceding day had postponed a party solely on his account. Mr. Felt, the hatter, could not be with us, as he had a public duty to perform, having to carry a petition to Mr. Quackly the member, which must be presented that very evening. Another juror begged to be excused, as his mother (a lady who, as he was at least sixty-five, must have been somewhat advanced in pears,) was dangerously ill; and a cadaverous little man, with a turn-up nose and crooked legs, was most anxious to be at home, as his lady was upon the point of being confined. Mr. Kneller, who was appointed treasurer the day before, and who in that character had been most active in collecting subscriptions, received these excuses, and half a dozen others, with as much good will on this occasion as he had done the guineas upon that; and whispered to me with a friendly wink that he by no means wished those to stay who desired to be absent, as he for his part had no taste for screwing down."

I held this to be very liberal on his part; but to show that I did not value money more than he did, and having never been in such a scene before, I determined to see it out. Our task was not very severe; and early in the afternoon we found ourselves so near the end of our labor, that the president considered we had leisure to see the prison, and accordingly sent a message to the chairman of the sessions, requesting his permission to do so.

Our suit was granted; and, preceded by a man with a wand, who had on both days been in attendance, we all marched to the gaol. I beheld, with mingled feelings of satisfaction and sorrow, the commodious but formidable iron guarded area appropriated to the various classes of prisoners then awaiting their trial. One circuinstance struck me rather forcibly: where the men were confined, several sad, anxious-looking females appeared, who approached, as closely as the grating would permit, the objects of their solicitude, evidently desirous of contributing all the solace that affectionate sym