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'Good morrow, dear Miss Fly!' quoth gallant Grim.
'Good morrow, Sir!' replied Miss Fly to him.
* Walk in, Miss, pray, and see what I'm about.'
I'm much obliged to you, (Miss Fly rejoined,)
My eyes are both so very good, I find

That I can plainly see the whole without !'

* Fine weather, Miss,'

* Yes, very, very fine, (Quoth Miss,) prodigious fine, indeed!' • But why so coy, (quoth Grim,) that you decline To put within my bower your pretty head?'

''Tis simply this

(Quoth cautious Miss) I fear you'd like my pretty head so well, You'd keep it for yourself, Sir,—who can tell ?

"Then let me squeeze your lovely hand, my dear,

And prove that all your fears are foolish, vain,'
I've a sore finger, Sir; nay more, I fear
You really would not let it go again.'

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• Poh! poh, child ! pray dismiss your idle dread,
I would not hurt a hair of your sweet head:
Come then, with one kind kiss of friendship meet me.'

Ah! Sir, (quoth Miss, with seeming artless tongue)
I fear our salutation would be long!

So loving, too, I fear that you would eat me!'
So saying, with a smile she left the rogue,
To weave more lines of death, and plan for prog.

Dr. Wolcot (called Peter Pindar.)


BETWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,

The spectacles set them unhappily wrong;
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,

To which the said spectacles ought to belong.

So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause

With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning ; While chief Baron Ear sat to balance the laws,

So fam'd for his talent in nicely discerning.

In behalf of the Nose it will quickly appear,

And your lordship (he said,) will undoubtly find That Nose has had spectacles always in wear,

Which amounts to possession, time out of mind.'


Then holding the spectacles up to the court

*Your lordship observes they are made with a straddle As wide as the ridge of the nose is; in short,

Designed to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

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' Again, would your lordship a moment suppose,

('Tis a case that has happened and may do again,) That the visage or countenance had not a nose,

Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then!

• On the whole it appears, and my argument shows,

With a reas'ning the court will never condemn : That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose,

And the Nose was as piainly intended for them.'

Then shifting his side, (as a lawyer knows how,)

He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes ;
But what were his arguments, few people know,

For the court did not think they were equally wise.

So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,

Decisive and clear, without one if or but-
That, 'whenever the Nose put his spectacles on
By day, or by night, that the Eyes should be shut.'

W. Cowper.


Two honest tradesmen meeting in the Strand,
One took the other briskly by the hand-

Hark ye, (said he) 'tis an odd story this
About the crows !'—'I don't know what it is,'
Reply'd his friend. "No! I'm surpris'd at that,
Where I come from it is the common chat;
But you shall hear-an odd affair indeed,
And that it happened they are all agreed.
Not to detain you from a thing so strange :
A Gentleman that lives not far from 'Change,
This week, in short, as all the Alley knows,
Taking a puke, has thrown up three black crows.'
'Impossible ! Nay, but 'tis really true :
I have it from good hands, and so may you.'
From whose, I pray?' so having named the man,
Straight to enquire, his curious comrade ran,
Sir, did you tell?'-relating the affair
“Yes, Sir, I did, and if 'tis worth your care,
Ask Mr. Such-a-one, he told it me,
But, by the bye, 'twas two black crows, not three.'
Resolved to trace so wondrous an event,
Quick to the third, the virtuoso went ;


"Sir,'— and so forth, "Why yes, the thing is fact, Though in regard to number, not exact: • It was not two black crows, 'twas only one, The truth of that you may depend upon : The gentleman himself told me the case.' • Where may I find him ? Why in such a place !' Away he goes—and having found him out, Sir, be so good as to resolve a doubt;' Then to his last informant he referred, And begged to know, if true, what he had heard• Did you, Sir, throw up a black crow ?' 'Not I,' • Bless me, how people propagate a lie! Black crows have been thrown up, three, two, and one, And here I find all comes at last to none ! Did you say nothing of a crow at all?' Crow! crow! perhaps I might, now I recall The matter o'er.' * And pray, Sir, what was’t ?! "Why, I was very sick, and at the last, I did throw up,—and told my neighbour so, Something that was—as black, Sir, as a crow!'

Dr. Byron.


A CERTAIN artist (I forget his name,)
Had got for making spectacles a fame,
Or—' helps to read, as, when they first were sold,
Was writ upon his glaring sign in gold ;
And, for all benefits that rise from glass,
His were allowed by readers to surpass.

There came a man into his shop one day,–
Are you the Spectacle contriver pray?
' Yes, Sir! (said he) and can in that affair
Contrive to please you, if you want a pair.'
Can you? pray do then.'-So, at first he chose
To place a youngish pair upon his nose;
And brought a book to see how they would fit,
Asked how he liked them :- Like them! not a bit !

Then, sir, I fancy, if you please to try, These in my hand will better suit your eye;' No, but they don't.'--'Well, come sir, if you please, Here is another sort, we'll now try these ; Still somewhat more they magnify the letter : Now Sir ? —Why now, I'm not a bit the better.' No! here, take these, which magnify still more ; How do they fit?' Like all the rest before.'

In short, they tried the whole assortment through, But all in vain, for none of them would do : The operator, much surprised to find So odd a case,-thought sure the man is blind. • What sort of eyes can you have got ?' said he : • Why, very good ones, friend, as you may see.'

Yes, I perceive the clearness of the ball, – Pray let me ask you,-can you read at all ? "Why no, you blockhead! if I could, what need Of paying you for any helps to read? He turned, and left the maker in a heat, "My ken’s (he cried) detected you, you cheat.


Good Dan and Jane were man and wife,
And lived a loving kind of life;
One point however they disputed,
And each by turns his mate confuted.
'Twas faith and works ; this knotty question
They found not easy of digestion.
While Dan for faith alone contended,
Jane equally good works defended.

They are not Christians, no! but Turks,
Who build on faith, and scoff at works,
Quoth Jane; while eager Dan replied,
By none but heathens faitb's denied.

*I'll tell you, wife one day said Dan)
A story of a right good man;
A patriarch sage, of ancient days,
A man of faithwhom all must praise !
In his own country he possessed
All one can need to make him blest.
His were the flocks, the fields, the spring,
In short, a little rural king;
Yet pleased, he quits his native land,
By faith in the Divine command;
God bade him go! and he content,
Went forth-not knowing where he went ;
He trusted in the promise made,
And undisputing, straight obeyed!
The heavenly word he did not doubt,
But proved his faith by going out.'

Jane answered, with some little pride,
"I've an example on my side,
And though my tale be somewhat longer,
I trust you'll find it vastly stronger.
I'll tell you, Daniel, of a man,
The holiest since the world began!
Who now God's favour is receiving,
For prompt obeying, not believing.
One only son this man possessed,
In whom his righteous age was blest;
And more, to mark the grace of heaven,
This son by miracle was given :

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And from this child, the Word divine
Had promised an illustrious line,
When lo! at once, a voice he hears,
(Ah! judge if you've a father's ears)
God says, Go, sacrifice thy son!
This moment, Lord, it shall be done.
He goes,—and instantly prepares
To slay this child of many prayers.
Now here you see the grand expedience
Of works-of actual obedience!
This was not faith, but act and deed,
The Lord commands ! the child shall bleed !

Thus ABRAHAM acted,' Jenny cried"Thus ABRAHAM trusted, Dan replied. • ABRAHAM ! (quoth Jane) why that's my man,' "No! ABRAHAM's he, I mean, (said Dan) He stands a monument of faith.'

No, 'tis for works, the scripture saith.'
« 'Tis for his faith, that I defend him.'
( 'Tis for obedience, I commend him.'

Thus he-thus she, both warmly feel,
And lose their temper in their zeal ;-
Too quick each other's choice to blame,
They did not see each meant the same.
At length— Good wife (said honest Dan)
We're talking of the selfsame man!
The works you praise, I own indeed,
Grow from the faith for which I plead.
And Abraham, whom for faith I quote,
For works deserves especial note;
'Tis not enough of faith to talk,
A man of God with God must walk.
Our doctrines are at last the same,
They only differ in the name ;
The faith I plead for is the root,
The works you value are the fruit :
How shall you know my creed's sincere,
Unless in works my faith appear ?
How shall I know a tree's alive,
Unless I see it bear and thrive ?
Your works, not growing on my root,
Would prove they were not genuine fruit ;
If faith produce no works, I see
That faith is not a living tree.
Thus faith and works together grow,
No separate life they e'er can know;
They're soul and body, head and heart,
What God hath joined, let no man part!'

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