Will. Genitive case? Eva. Ay.

Will. Genitive, horum, harum, horum. Quick. 'Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her!-never name her, child, if she be a whore. Eva. For shame, 'oman.

Quick. You do ill to teach the child such words: he teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do fast enough of themselves; and to call horum :-fie upon you!

Eva. 'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no of the genders? Thou art as foolish Christian understandings for thy cases, and the numbers

creatures as I would desires.

Mrs. Page. Pr'ythee hold thy peace. sions of your pronouns. Eva. Show me now, William, some declen

Will. Forsooth, I have forgot. Eva. It is ki, kæ, cod; if your kes, and your cods, you must be preeches. you forget kies, Go your ways, and play, go. Mrs. Page. He is a better scholar, than I

thought he was.

Eva. He is a good spragt memory. Farewell,

to play.

Quick. Blessing of his heart!

Mrs. Page. Sir Hugh, my husband says, my son profits nothing in the world at his book; I pray you, ask him some questions in his accidence.

Eva. Come hither, William; hold up your head; come.

Mrs. Page. Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your master, be not afraid.

Eva. William, how many numbers is in

nouns?

Will. Two.

Quick. Truly, I thought there had been one number more; because they say, od's nouns. Eva. Peace your tattlings. What is fair,

William?

Will. Pulcher.

Quick. Poulcats! there are fairer things than poulcats, sure.

Eva. Your are a very simplicity 'oman; I pray you, peace. What is lapis, William? Will. A stone.

Eva. And what is a stone, William?

Will. A pebble.

Ενα. Νo, No, it is lapis; I pray you remember in

your prain.

Will. Lapis.

Eva. That is good William. What is he, William, that does lend articles?

hic, hæc, hoc.

Will. Articles are borrowed of the pronoun; and be thus declined, Singulariter, nominativo, Eva. Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark: genitivo, hujus: Well, what is your ac

cusative case?

Will. Accusativo, hinc.

Eva. I pray you, have your remembrance, child; Accusativo, hing, hang, hog.

Quick. Hang hog is Latin for bacon, I warrant you.

Eva. Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative case, William?

Will. O-Vocativo, O.

Eva. Remember, William; focative is, caret.

Quick. And that's a good root.

Eva. 'Oman, forbear.

Mrs. Page. Peace.

Eva. What is your genitive case plural, William ?

Mrs. Page. Adieu, good Sir Hugh. [Exit Sir HUGH.] Get you home, boy. -Come, we stay too long. [Exeunt.

SCENE II.-A Room in FORD'S House.
Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. FORD.

Fal. Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my sufferance: I see, you are obsequious‡ in your love, and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not only, mistress Ford, in the simple office of love, but in all the accoutrement, complement, and ceremony of it. But are you sure of your husband now?

Mrs. Ford. He's a birding, sweet Sir John. Mrs. Page. [Within.] What hoa, gossip Ford! what hoa!

Mrs. Ford. Step into the chamber, Sir John. [Exit FALSTAFF.

Mrs. Page. Why, woman, your husband is with my husband; so rails against all married in his old luness again: he so takes on yonder mankind; so curses all Eve's daughters, of selfon what complexion soever; and SO buffets him. the forehead, crying, Peer out, peer out! that any madness, I ever yet beheld, seemed but tameness, civility, and patience, to this his distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight not here. Mrs. Ford. Why, does he talk of him ? Mrs. Page. Of none but him; and swears, he was carried out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to my husband, he is now here; and hath drawn nim and the rest of their company from their sport, to make another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery.

Mrs. Ford. How near is he, mistress Page?

Fal. I'll go out then.

Mrs. Page. If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir John. Unless you go out disguised,

Mrs. Ford. How might we disguise him? Mrs. Page. Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman's gown big enough for him; otherwise, he might put on a hat, a muffler, and as kerchief, and so escape.

Fal. Good hearts, devise something: any extremity, rather than a mischief.

Mrs. Ford. My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a gown above.

Mrs. Page. On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: Run up, Sir John.

Mrs. Ford. Go, go, sweet Sir John: mistress Page and I,'will look some linen for your head. Mrs. Page. Quick, quick; we'll come dress you straight: put on the gown the while.

[Exit FALSTAFF.

Mrs. Ford. I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears, she's a witch; forbade her my house, and hath threatened to beat her.

Mrs. Page. Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel; and the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!

Mrs. Ford. But is my husband coming? Mrs. Page. Ay, in good sadness, t is he; and talks of the basket too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.

Mrs. Ford. We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did last time.

Mrs. Page. Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him like the witch of Brentford. Mrs. Ford. I'll first direct my men, what they shall do with the basket. Go up, I'll bring linen for him straight.

[Exit.

Mrs. Page. Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.

We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do, Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:

We do not act, that often jest and laugh; "Tis old but true, Still swine eat all the draff. [Exit.

Re-enter Mrs. FORD, with two Servants. Mrs. Ford. Go, Sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders; your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it down, obey him: quickly, despatch.

[Exit.

1. Serv. Come, come, take it up. 2. Serv. Pray heaven, it be not full of the knight again.

1. Serv. I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.

Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, CAIUS, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Ford. Ay, but if it prove true, master Page, have you any way then to unfool me again?Set down the basket, villain :-Somebody call my wife:You, youth in a basket, come out here!-O, you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging,** a pack, a conspiracy against

me: Now shall the devil be shamed. What! wife, I say! come, come forth; behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching.

Page. Why, this passes !† Master Ford, you are not to go loose any longer; you must be pinioned.

Eva. Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a

mad dog!

indeed. Shal. Indeed, master Ford, this is not well;

Enter Mrs. FORD.

Ford. So say I too, Sir. Come hither, mistress Ford; mistress Ford, the honest woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath the jealous fool to her husband!-Í suspect without cause, mistress, do I?

Mrs. Ford. Heaven be my witness, you do, if you suspect me in any dishonesty. Ford. Well said, brazen-face; hold it out. Come forth, sirrah.

[Pulls the clothes out of the basket.

Page. This passes!

Mrs. Ford. Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone.

Ford. I shall find you anon.

Eva. 'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's clothes? Come away. Ford. Empty the basket, I say.

Mrs. Ford. Why, man, why?

Ford. Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed out of my house yesterday in this basket: Why may not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is: my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable: Pluck me out all the linen.

Mrs. Ford. If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death.

Brentford.

Ford. A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have comes of errands, does she? We are simple I not forbid her my house? She men; we do not know what's brought to pass under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells, by the figure, and such daubery as this is; beyond our element: we know nothing. - Come down, you witch, you hag you; come down I say.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, good, sweet husband;good gentlemen, let him not strike the old

woman.

Enter FALSTAFF in women's clothes, led by Mrs. PAGE.

Mrs. Page. Come, mother Pratt, come, give me your hand..

Ford. I'll prat her: Out of my door, you witch! [Beats him.] You rag, you baggage, you polecat, you ronyon!t out! out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you. [Exit FALSTAFF. Mrs. Page. Are you not ashamed? I think, you have kill'd the poor woman.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, he will do it :-'Tis a goodly credit for you.

Ford. Hang her, witch!

Eva. By yea and no, I think, the 'oman is a witch indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under her

muffler.

Ford. Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow; see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus upon no trail, never trust me when I opens again.

Page. Let's obey his humour a little further: Come, gentlemen.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, SHALLOW, and Evans. Mrs. Page. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most unpitifully, methought. Mrs. Page. I'll have the cudgel hallowed, and hang o'er the altar; it hath done merito

rious service.

Mrs. Ford. What think you? May we, with the warrant of woman-hood, and the witness of a good conscience, pursue him with any further revenge?

Mrs. Page. The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and recovery, he will never, 1 think, in the way of waste, attempt us again.

Mrs. Ford. Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him?

Mrs. Page. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their hearts, the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

Mrs. Ford. I'll warrant, they'll have him publicly shamed: and, methinks, there would be no period to the jest, should he not be publicly shamed.

Mrs. Page. Come, to the forge with it then, shape it: I would not have things cool.

• Lover, + Scab. ‡ Scent,

[Exeunt. Cry out.

SCENE III.-A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter Host and BARDOLPH.

Bard. Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your horses: the duke himself will be tomorrow at court, and they are going to mee him.

Host. What duke should that be, comes so secretly? I hear not of him in the court: Let English? me speak with the gentlemen; they speak

Bard. Ay, Sir; I'll call them to you.

Host. They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay, I'll sauce them: they have had my houses a week at command; I have turned away my other guests: they must come off; I'll sauce them: Come.

Exeunt.

SCENE IV. -A Room in FORD'S House.

Enter PAGE, FORD, Mrs. PAGE, Mrs. Ford, and Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. "Tis one of the pest discretions of a 'oman as ever I did look upon.

Page. And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

Mrs. Page. Within a quarter of an hour.

Ford. Pardon me, wife: Henceforth do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold,
Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy ho-
nour stand,

In him that was of late an heretic,
As firm as faith.

Page. "Tis well, 'tis well; no more.
Be not as extreme in submission,
As in offence;

But let our plot go forward: let our wives
Yet once again, to make us public sport,
Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,
Where we may take him, and disgrace him
for it.

Ford. There is no better way than that they spoke of.

Page. How! to send him word they'll meet him in the park at midnight! fic, fie; he'll never come.

Eva. You say, he has been thrown in the rivers; and has been grievously peaten, as an old 'oman: methinks, there should be terrors in him, that he should not come; methinks, his flesh is punished, he shall have no desires. Page. So think I too.

Mrs. Ford. Devise but how you'll use him

when he comes,

And let us two devise to bring him thither. Mrs. Page. There is an old tale goes, that. Herne the hunter,

Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest, Doth all the winter time, at still midnight, Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'a [cattle; And there he blasts the tree, and takes the And makes milch-kine yield blood, and shakes a chain

horns;

That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us, Disguised like Herne, with huge horns on his head.

Page. Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come, And in this shape: When you have brought him thither, [plot? What shall be done with him? what is your Mrs. Page. That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:

dress

Nan Page my daughter, and my little son,
And three or four more of their growth, we'll
[white,
Like urchins, ouphes, and fairies, green and
With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,
And rattles in their hands; upon a sudden,
As Falstaff, she, and I, are newly met,
Let them from forth a saw-pit rush at once
With some diffusedt song; upon their sight,
We two in great amazedness will fly:
Then let them all encircle him about,
And, fairy-like, to pinch the unclean knight;
And ask him, why, that hour of fairy revel,
In their so sacred paths he dares to tread,
In shape prophane.

Mrs. Ford. And till he tell the truth,
Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound,
And burn him with their tapers.

Mrs. Page. The truth being known, We'll all present ourselves; dis-horn the spirit, And mock him home to Windsor.

Ford. The children must

Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. Eva. I will teach the children their behaviours; and I will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the knight with my taber.

Ford. That will be excellent. I'll go buy them vizards.

Mrs. Page. My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,

Finely attired in a robe of white.

Page. That silk will I go buy ;-and in that

time

properties,§

And tricking for our fairies.

Eva. Let us about it: It is admirable pleasures, and fery honest knaveries.

[Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and EVANS.

Mrs. Page. Go, mistress Ford, Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind. [Exit Mrs. FORD.

I'll to the doctor; he hath my good will,
And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.
That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;
And he my husband best of all affects:
The doctor is well money'd, and his friends
Potent at court; he, none but he, shall have

her, Though twenty thousand worthier come to [Exit.

crave her.

Sim. Marry, Sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff from master Slender.

Host. There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his standing-bed, and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about with the story of the prodigal, fresh and new: Go, knock and call; he'll speak like an Anthropophaginian unto thee: Knock, I say.

Sim. There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his chamber; I'll be so bold as stay, Sir, till she come down: I come to speak with her, indeed.

Host. Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll call.-Bully knight! Bully Sir John! speak from thy lungs military: Art thou there? it is thine host, thine Ephesian, calls. Fal. [above.] How now, mine host? Host. Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of thy fat woman: Let her descend, bully, let her descend; my chambers are honourable: Fye! privacy? fye!

Enter FALSTAFF.

Ful. There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with me; but she's gone,

Sim. Pray you, Sir, was't not the wiset woman of Brentford?

Fal. Ay, marry, was it, muscle-shell; What would you with her?

Sim. My master, Sir, my master Slender, sent to her, seeing her go thorough the streets, to know, Sir, whether one Nym, Sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the chain, or no. Fal. I spake with the old woman about it. Sim. And what says she, I pray, Sir? Fal. Marry, she says, that the very same man, that beguiled master Slender of his chain, coz

ened him of it.

Sim. I would, I could have spoken with the woman herself; I had other things to have spoken with her too, from him.

Fal. What are they? let us know.
Host. Ay, come; quick.

Sim. I may not conceal them, Sir.
Fal. Conceal them, or thou diest.

Sim. Why, Sir, they were nothing but about mistress Anne Page; to know, if it were my master's fortune to have her, or no.

Fal. '"Tis, 'tis his fortune.

Sim. What, Sir?

Fal. To have her, or no: Go; say, the wo

man told me so.

Sim. May I be so bold to say so, Sir? Fal. Ay, Sir Tike; who more bold? Sim. I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John: Was there a wise woman with thee? Fal. Ay, that there was, mine host; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learned before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

Eva. Where is mine host?

Host. What is the matter, Sir?

Eva. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin germans, that has cozened all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell you for good-will, look you: you are wise, and full of gibes and vlouting-stogs; and 'tis not convenient you should be cozened: Fare you

well.

Enter Doctor CAIUS.

[Exit.

Caius. Vere is mine Host de Jarterre. Host. Here, master doctor, in perplexity, and doubtful dilemma.

Caius. I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tella me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Jarmany: by my trof, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come; I tell you for good vill: adieu.

[Exit.

Host. Hue and cry, villain, go:-assist me, knight; I am undone:-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!

[Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. Fal. I would, all the world might be cozened; for I have been cozen'd and beaten too. If it should come to the ear of the court, how I have been transformed and how my transformation hath been washed and cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till Í were as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered since I forswore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Now! whence come you?

Quick. From the two parties, forsooth.

Fal. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and so they shall be both bestowed! I have suffered more for their sakes, more, than the villanous inconstancy of man's disposition is able to bear.

Quick. And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant; speciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

Fal. What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow, and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable had set me i' the stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch.

Quick. Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go'; and, 1 warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that you are so crossed. Fal. Come up into my chamber. [Exeunt.

SCENE VI.-Another Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FENTON and Host.

Host. Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all. (purpose, Fent. Yet here me speak: Assist me in my

• A game at cards.

A hundred pound in gold, more than your loss. Host. I will hear you, master Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

Fent. From time to time I have acquainted

you

staff

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her chooser,)
Even to my wish: I have a letter from her
Of such contents as you will wonder at ;
The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,
That neither, singly, can be manifested,
Without the show of both;-wherein fat Fal-
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest.
[Showing the letter.
I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine
host:
[one,
To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and
Must my sweet Nan present the fairy queen;
The purpose why, is here;* in which disguise,
While other jests are something rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to slip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: she hath consented :
Now, Sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewise shuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot
She, seemingly obedient, likewise hath
Made promise to the doctor;-Now, thus it

rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender sees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,
She shall go with him:-her mother hath in-
tended,

The better to denote her to the doctor,
(For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint † in green, she shall be loose en-

,rob'd,

With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head; And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe, To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token, The maid hath given consent to go with him. Host. Which means she to deceive? father or mother?

me:

Fent. Both, my good host, to go along with And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying, To give our hearts united ceremony.

vicar:

Host. Well, husband your device; I'll to the Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. Fent. So shall I evermore be bound to thee; Besides, I'll make a present recompense. [Exeunt.

ACT V.

SCENE 1.--A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY.

Fal. Pr'ythee, no more prattling;-go.I'll hold :: This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they say, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.

* In the letter. † Fantastically. + Keep to the time.