CCXV.

The liver is the lazaret of bile,

But very rarely executes its function;
For the first passion stays there such a while,

That all the rest creep in and form a junction,

Like knots of vipers on a dunghill's soil,

Rage, fear, hate, jealousy, revenge, compunction, So that all mischiefs spring up from this entrail,

Like earthquakes from the hidden fire call'd "central."

CCXVI.

In the meantime, without proceeding more
In this anatomy, I've finish'd now
Two hundred and odd stanzas as before,
That being about the number I'll allow
Each canto of the twelve, or twenty-four;
And, laying down my I make my bow;
Leaving Don Juan and Haidee to plead

For them and theirs with all who deign to read.

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Don Juan.

CANTO THE THIRD.

I.

HAIL, Muse! et cetera.-We left Juan sleeping,
Pillow'd upon a fair and happy breast,

And watch'd by eyes that never yet knew weeping,
And lov'd by a young heart, too deeply blest

To feel the poison through her spirit creeping,
Or know who rested there; a foe to rest,
Had soil'd the current of her sinless years,

And turn'd her pure heart's purest blood to tears!

II.

Oh, Love! what is it, in this world of ours,
Which makes it fatal to be lov'd? Ah! why

With cypress branches hast thou wreath'd thy bowers,
And made thy best interpreter a sigh?

As those who dote on odours pluck the flowers,
And place them on their breast-but place to die-
Thus the frail beings we would fondly cherish,
Are laid within our bosoms but to perish.

III.

In her first passion, woman loves her lover;
In all the others, all she loves is love,
Which grows a habit she can ne'er get over,
And fits her loosely-like an easy glove,
As you may find, whene'er you like to prove her:
One man alone at first her heart can move ;
She then prefers him in the plural number,
Not finding that the additions much encumber.

IV.

I know not if the fault be men's or theirs;

But one thing's pretty sure; a woman planted (Unless at once she plunge for life in prayers)After a decent time must be gallanted; Although, no doubt, her first of love affairs

Is that to which her heart is wholly granteu; Yet there are some, they say, who have had none; But those who have, ne'er end with only one.

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V.

'Tis melancholy, and a fearful sign
Of human frailty, folly, also crime,

That love and marriage rarely can combine,
Although they both are born in the same clime.
Marriage from love, like vinegar from wine-
A sad, sour, sober, beverage-by time
Is sharpen'd from its high celestial flavour,
Down to a very homely household savour.

VI.

There's something of antipathy, as 'twere,
Between their present and their future state;

A kind of flattery that's hardly fair

Is us'd until the truth arrives too late

Yet what can people do, except despair ?

The same things change their names at such a rate; For instance-passion in a lover's glorious,

But for a husband is pronounc'd uxorious.

VII.

Men grow asham'd of being so very fond;
They sometimes also get a little tir'd,

(But that, of course, is rare), and then despond:
The same things cannot always be admir'd,

Yet 'tis "so nominated in the bond,"

That both are tied till one shall have expir'd.
Sad thought! to lose the spouse that was adorning
Our days, and put one's servants into mourning.

VIII.

There's doubtless something in domestic doings,
Which forms, in fact, true love's antithesis;
Romances paint at full length people's wooings,
But only give a bust of marriages;

For no one cares for matrimonial cooings;
There's nothing wrong in a connubial kiss.
Think you if Laura had been Petrarch's wife,
He would have written sonnets all his life ?

IX.

All tragedies are finish'd by a death;

All comedies are ended by a marriage:

The future states of both are left to faith,

For authors fear description might disparage

The worlds to come of both, or fall beneath,

And then both worlds would punish their miscarriage;

So leaving each their priest and prayer-book ready,
They say no more of Death or of the Lady.

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X.

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The only two that in my recollection

Have sung of heaven and hell, or marriage, are Dante and Milton, and of both the affection

Was hapless in their nuptials, for some bar Of fault or temper ruin'd the connection,

(Such things, in fact, it don't ask much to mar);

But Dante's Beatrice and Milton's Eve

Were not drawn from their spouses, you conceive,

XI.

Some persons say that Dante meant theology
By Beatrice, and not a mistress-I,
Although my opinion may require apology,
Deem this a commentator's phantasy;

Unless indeed it was from his own knowledge he
Decided thus, and show'd good reason why;
I think that Dante's more abstruse ecstatics

Meant to personify the mathematics.

XII.

Haidee and Juan were not married; but

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The fault was theirs, not mine: it is not fair, Chaste reader, then, in any way to put

The blame on me, unless you wish they were;
Then if you'd have them wedded, please to shut
The book which treats of this erroneous pair,
Before the consequences grow too awful :
'Tis dangerous to read of loves unlawful.

XIII.

Yet they were happy,-happy in the illicit
Indulgence of their innocent desires;
But more imprudent grown with every visit,
Haidee forgot the island was her sire's;
When we have what we like 'tis hard to miss it,
At least in the beginning, ere one tires;

Thus she came often, not a moment losing,
Whilst her piratical papa was cruising.

XIV.

Let not his mode of raising cash seem strange,
Although he fleec'd the flags of every nation;

For into a prime minister but change
His title, and 'tis nothing but taxation;
But he, more modest, took an humbler range
Of life, and in an honester vocation
Pursued o'er the high seas his watery journey,
And merely practised as a sea-attorney.

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XV.

The good old gentleman had been detain'd

By winds and waves, and some important captures;
And, in the hope of more, at sea remain'd,

Although a squall or two had damp'd his raptures,
By swamping one of the prizes; he had chain'd
His prisoners, dividing them like chapters,
In number'd lots: they all had cuffs and collars;
And averag'd each from ten to a hundred dollars.
XVI.

Some he dispos'd of off Cape Matapan,

Among his friends, the Mainots; some he sold
To his Tunis correspondents, save one man
Toss'd overboard, unsaleable (being old);
The rest-save here and there some richer one,
Reserv'd for future ransom, in the hold,
Were link'd alike; as for the common people, he
Had a large order from the Dey of Tripoli.

XVII.

The merchandise was serv'd in the same way,
Piec'd out for different marts in the Levant,
Except some certain portions of the prey,
Light classic articles of female want,

French stuffs, lace, tweezers, toothpicks, teapot, tray,
Guitars and castanets from Alicant,

All which selected from the spoil he gathers,
Robb'd for his daughter by the best of fathers.

XVIII.

A monkey, a Dutch mastiff, a mackaw,

Two parrots, with a Persian cat and kittens,

He chose from several animals he saw

A terrier, too, which once had been a Briton's, Who dying on the coast of Ithaca,

The peasants gave the poor dumb thing a pittance. These to secure in this strong blowing weather,

He cag'd in one huge hamper all together.

XIX.

Then having settled his marine affairs,
Despatching single cruisers here and there,
His vessel having need of some repairs,

He shap'd his course to where his daughter fair
Continued still her hospitable cares;

But that part of the coast being shoal and bare, And rough with reefs which ran out many a mile, His port lay on the other side o' the isle.

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