K. JOHN. Let them approach.—

Our abbies, and our priories, fhall pay

[Exit Sheriff.

Re-enter Sheriff, with ROBERT FAULCONBRIDGE, and
PHILIP, his baftard brother.

This expedition's charge.-What men are you?
BAST. Your faithful fubject I, a gentleman,
Born in Northamptonshire; and eldest fon,
As I fuppofe, to Robert Faulconbridge;
A foldier, by the honour-giving hand
Of Coeur-de-lion knighted in the field.
K. JOHN. What art thou?

ROB. The fon and heir to that fame Faulconbridge. K. JOHN. Is that the elder, and art thou the heir ? You came not of one mother then, it seems.

BAST. Moft certain of one mother, mighty king,
That is well known; and, as I think, one father :
But, for the certain knowledge of that truth,
I put you o'er to heaven, and to my mother;

Of that I doubt, as all men's children may.

ELI. Out on thee, rude man! thou doft shame thy mother, And wound her honour with this diffidence.

BAST. I, madam? no, I have no reason for it;
That is my brother's plea, and none of mine;

The which if he can prove, 'a pops me out
At leaft from fair five hundred pound a year :
Heaven guard my mother's honour, and my land!

K. JOHN. A good blunt fellow:-Why, being younger Doth he lay claim to thine inheritance?

BAST. I know not why, except to get the land.
But once he flander'd me with baftardy:
But whe'r I be as true begot, or no,
That ftill I lay upon my mother's head;
But, that I am as well begot, my liege,

[born,

(Fair fall the bones that took the pains for me!)
Compare our faces, and be judge yourself.
If old fir Robert did beget us both,

And were our father, and this fon like him;—
O old fir Robert, father, on my knee

I give heaven thanks, I was not like to thee.

K. JOHN. Why, what a madcap hath heaven lent us here?

ELI. He hath a trick of Coeur-de-lion's face,
The accent of his tongue affecteth him :
Do you not read fome tokens of my fon

In the large compofition of this man?

K. JOHN. Mine eye hath well examined his parts, And finds them perfect Richard.- -Sirrah, fpeak, What doth move you to claim your brother's land? BAST. Because he hath a half-face, like my father; With that half-face would he have all my land: A half-faced groat five hundred pound a year!

ROB. My gracious liege, when that my father liv'd, Your brother did employ my father much;

BAST. Well, fir, by this you cannot get my land; Your tale must be, how he employ'd my mother. ROB. And once despatch'd him in an embassy To Germany, there, with the emperor, To treat of high affairs touching that time: The advantage of his abfence took the king, And in the mean time fojourned at my father's; Where how he did prevail, I fhame to speak: But truth is truth; large lengths of seas and shores Between my father and my mother lay, (As I have heard my father speak himself,) When this fame lufty gentleman was got. Upon his death-bed he by will bequeath'd

His lands to me; and took it, on his death,
That this, my mother's fon, was none of his;
And, if he were, he came into the world

Full fourteen weeks before the course of time.
Then, good my liege, let me have what is mine,
My father's land, as was my father's will.

K. JOHN. Sirrah, your brother is legitimate;
Your father's wife did after wedlock bear him :
And, if the did play falfe, the fault was her's;
she
Which fault lies on the hazards of all husbands
That marry wives. Tell me, how if my brother,
Who, as you say, took pains to get this son,
Had of your father claim'd this fon for his?
In footh, good friend, your father might have kept
This calf, bred from his cow, from all the world;
In footh, he might: then, if he were my brother's,
My brother might not claim him; nor your father,
Being none of his, refuse him :-This concludes,—
My mother's fon did get your father's heir;
Your father's heir must have your father's land.
ROB. Shall then my father's will be of no force,
To difpoffefs that child which is not his?
BAST. Of no more force to difpoffefs me, fir,
Than was his will to get me, as I think.

ELI. Whether hadft thou rather,-be a Faulconbridge, And like thy brother, to enjoy thy land;

Or the reputed fon of Coeur-de-lion,

Lord of thy presence, and no land beside ?

BAST. Madam, an if my brother had my shape,
And I had his, fir Robert his, like him;
And if my legs were two fuch riding-rods,
My arms fuch eelskins stuff'd; my face so thin,
That in mine ear I durft not stick a rofe,

Left men should say, look, where three-farthings goes!
And, to his shape, were heir to all this land,
'Would I might never ftir from off this place,
I'd give it every foot to have this face;
I would not be fir Nob in any case.

ELI. I like thee well; Wilt thou forfake thy fortune, Bequeath thy land to him, and follow me?

I am a foldier, and now bound to France.

BAST. Brother, take you my land, I'll take my chance. Your face hath got five hundred pounds a-year; Yet fell your face for fivepence, and 'tis dear.— Madam, I'll follow you unto the death.

ELI. Nay, I would have you go before me thither. BAST. Our country manners give our betters way. K. JOHN. What is thy name?

BAST. Philip, my liege; fo is my name begun ; Philip, good old Sir Robert's wife's eldest fon.

K. JOHN. From henceforth bear his name whose form thou bear'st:

Kneel thou down Philip, but arise more great ;
Arife, fir Richard, and Plantagenet.

BAST. Brother by the mother's fide, give me your hand; My father gave me honour, yours gave land :

Now bleffed be the hour, by night or day,
When I was got, fir Robert was away.

ELI. The very spirit of Plantagenet !—

I am thy grandame, Richard, call me fo.

BAST. Madam, by chance, but not by truth: What though?

Something about, a little from the right,

In at the window, or elfe o'er the hatch:
Who dares not ftir by day, muft walk by night;
And have is have, however men do catch :

Near or far off, well won is ftill well fhot;
And I am I, howe'er I was begot.

K. JOHN. Go, Faulconbridge; now haft thou thy defire,

A landless knight makes thee a landed 'squire.—
Come, madam, and come, Richard; we must speed
For France, for France; for it is more than need.
BAST. Brother, adieu; good fortune come to thee!
For thou waft got i' the
way of honesty.

[Exeunt all but the BASTARD.

A foot of honour better than I was;

But

many a many foot of land the worse.

Well, now can I make any Joan a lady :

Good den, fir Richard,-God-a-mercy, fellow ;-
And if his name be George, I'll call him Peter:
For new-made honour doth forget men's names;
Tis too refpective, and too fociable,

For

your

converfion. Now your traveller,—
He and his tooth-pick at my worship's mess;
And when my knightly stomach is fuffic'd,
Why then I fuck my teeth, and catechise
My picked man of countries:-My dear fir,
(Thus, leaning on mine elbow, I begin,)
I fball befeech you-That is queftion now;
And then comes anfwer like an ABC-book :-
0 fir, fays anfwer, at your beft command;
At your employment; at your fervice, fir:-
No, fir, fays queftion; I, fweet fir, at yours:
And fo, ere answer knows what question would,
(Saving in dialogue of compliment;

And talking of the Alps, and Appennines,
The Pyrenean, and the river Po,)

It draws toward fupper in conclusion so.