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"More than Echoes Talk Along the Scientific Notices, 135

Unintelligible, 249
Walls,” 199
Seasonable Weather, 3

Union Wheel (The), 185
Mr. Calcraft's Complaint, 165)
Secrets in the Air, 81

Unlucky Question (An), 109
Music, 231

1

Self-Help for the Labouring Classes, 31 Upper-Class Awakener (An), 30
Music of the Future (The), 51
Selling the Anchors ! 98

VALUATION of a Veteran, 133
Mutato Nomine, 72

Sense from the Earl of Shaftesbury, 110 Value of “Proputty” (The), 11 Mutual Testimonial Guarantee Associa- Sensible Fashion (A), 39

Variation on Macbeth, 248
"tion (The), 197
Severity of Public Saving, 104

Variety is Charming, 171
Mysterious Callings, 243
Shades of Roman Opinion, 168

Very Likely? 128
New Boots for Bobby, 181
Shakspeare at Astley's, 108

Very Unfair Comparison (A), 158
New Cab Regulations, 55
Share and Share Alike, 77

Vive Leap-Frog ! 20
New Curiosities of Literaturo, 9, 12, 33, &c. Shilling Telegrams, 68

Voting by Electricity, 64 New Dishcovery in Dancing (A), 188 Signs of the Times, 240

Voting by Machinery, 129
New Great Eastern (The), 71

Simple Charades for Idle Moments, 248 WAITING an Answer, 140
New History of Inventions (A), 215, 237 Sir Hugh Erans on the Ecumenical, 42 'Ware, Cabby, 'Ware, 78
New Rule of Rome (The), 197
Slang of the Stage (The), 195

Walker's Roman Antiquities, 7
News for the Nose, 64

Slap in the Face for Liberty (A), 165 Wanted—a Touch of "the Tornado,” 40
New Style, 76
Sleep-Driving, 257

Wasn't that a Dainty Dish to Set Before
New Temple Hall (The), 216
Snobs at the Opera, 217

a King ?" 8 New Water-Colour Exhibition (A), 139 Songbirds of Beauty, 248

Well done, Waterford ! 94
Nomination Nuisance (The), 171
Song on Female Suffrage (A), 73

Where's my Music ?" 166 None of your Easy Shaving, 239

Songs of the Sorrowful, 181, 197, 201, 237 Wholesale Tobacco-Stoppers, 234
None so Deaf as those that won't Hear, 250 Spanish Toast Mystery (The), 185 “Whom the Cap Fits," 249
No Triumph for Newdegate, 179
Spoiled Goods, 238

Why Shave your Soldiers ? 105
Not a Puff, Really, 136
Spots on the Sun, 160, 177

Wine and Electricity, 35
Not a Rose-Buddhist, 146

Spring Song on the Arrival of a Warbler Wiping and Academy Arrears, 61 Not Improbable, 145

(4), 206

Woman's Rights and Wrongs (A), 160
ODE to Confidence, 34
Square Men in Round Holes, 31

Women's Worst Disabilities, 76
Ecumenical Odds and Ends, 18
Stage at Sea (The), 218

Wonderful Vitality of Vegetable Life, 239
Ecumenical Strong Language, 218 Stanzas for Soft Music, 216

Worst of Drunkenness (The), 50
Off, Odger ! 28
St. Patrick's Mistake, 117

Worthy of Imitation, 186
One Letter Wrong, 108

Stronger way of Putting it (A), 49 ZOOLOGICAL Philosophy, 258
On Photograpby to Phcobus, 215
Street Dialogue (A), 157

10fd., 189 On the Wrong Ground, 93

Sub Jove Concilium, 64 Optional Taxation, 27

Suffrage for both Sexes, 128 o'p to the O'D (The), 108 Sunday Informer's Saturday Night, 133

LARGE ENGRAVINGS:Our Æstbetic Minister, 165

Superfluous Commissions, 4
Our Growing Metropolis, 2

Surgeon-Dentistry in St. Pancras, 133 BILL of Fare (The) 47
Our Literary Prospects, 208
Suspiria Ecclesiæ, 254

Conviction ! 203
Our Nigger Highwaymen, 241
Swimming at Sydenham, 196

“Critics," 193 Our Own Mud in our Own Mouths, 106 TABLES Turned, 64

Deserted I 91
Our Pert Contributor, 212
TALE of a Chair, 114

Favourite Wins! Hooray!! 224, 225
Our Social Circle, 158

Talking Men and Working Men, 166 Fish out of Water (A), 5 PARLIAMENTARY Grammarlans, 154 Taxpayer to the Teetotal Alliance, 153 Great Boon to our Household Guards, Parliamentary Work and Wages, 147 Telegrams to Ireland, 134

255
Parocbial Glee, 9
Temperance to Excess, 195

Hercules and the Hydra, 58, 59
Parry for Miss Becker's Thrust (A), 222 Temple Divided against Himself, 94 Irish “ Tempest" (The), 111
Paul Pry at St. Peter's, 77
Tempora Mutantur, 228

John Bright's New Reform Bill, 25
Peace to Irish Pigg, 126
Theatre for the People (The), 124

Kick'd Out! 235
Peeps into the Studios, 118

There's Life in the Old Doctor yet, 56 Magna Charta for France, 15
Penny Trains and Passengers, 95

Thing of Beauty is a Joy for Ever (A), 117 Mrs. John Phaëton. (Not in Lomprière)
Perils of Penmanship (The), 62
Those 11l-used B.'s ! 187

162, 163
Peri Outside of Paradise (Á), 195
Thought at Willis's, 207

Much Cry and Little Wool; or, Shaving
Pestered by Post, 19
This is to Give Notice, 55

the Parliamentary Pig, 173
Philosopby for Free Livers, 117
Three Band of Hope Boys, 179

No April Fooling, 131
Phoebus's Portrait of Thieves, 97
Three R's (The), 7

"No Deception this Time!" 151 Pilgrims in Progress, 247

'Tis an Ill Wind that Blows Nobody Good, “ Onward ! 37 Pleasantry for the Serious Press, 63

248

Renewing the Lease, 183
Plenty to Fight for, 191
Tobacco for Tipperary, 126

“Savage" Wigging (A), 245
Police Helmet (The), 160
To Housekeepers, 134

Silencing the Trumpet, 141
Police Notice, 240
To Lothair, 258

Taking the (Irish) Bull by the Horns, 719
Possible Publications, 86
To Mr. George Odger, 206

Three R's; or, Better Late than Never,
Pounders Sterling, 53
To Mr. Punch, 39

121
Predictions for 1870, 4
To Mrs. Professor Fawcett, 155

Ugly Rush ! (An), 213
Preserver of Property (A), 137
To our Calculating Boys, 220

“Where's the (Irish) Police ?" 101
Prize Ring (The), 215
To Prevent Disappointment, 160

William Cox and Benjamin Box, 69
Prize Translations, 243

To Tom Hughes, M.P., 42
Professoress's Prophecy (The), 192 Troches, 18
Professor of Music and Beer (A), 156 True Journalist (The), 27

SMALL ENGRAVINGS :-
Proposed Widening of the Old Jury, 7 “Tust-Hunting we will Go," 120
Punch's Derby Prophecy, 227, 231
Tufts Tailing off ! 227

AFTER the Pantomimo, 28
Punch's Essence of Parliament, 120, 172, Twins of Tipperary (The), 97

Aggravating Flippancy, 100, 120
179, 190, &c.
UNBLUSHING Immocence, 190

Alternative (The), 156
Punch's Police Report, 140
Punch's Sauce and Harvey's Meditations,

31
Punch's Second Column, 139
Puzzled to Deatb, 199
Puzzle from Paris (A), 88
QUEST of the Holy Poker (The), 85
Quite T'other ! 146
"Quito the Reverse," 149
RAILWAY Blockhead System (The), 3
Railway Limb Assurance, 96
Rare News from Rome, 76
Rather too much of a Good Thing, 155
Real Enjoyment, 239, 242
Ro-Appearance (A), 27
Reciprocity, 86
Recognition of Genius, 130
Red Hot Murphy, 168
Reform your Wine-Bills, 170
Reign of Licence, 169
Responsible Police (A), 117
Reynard at Rome, 39
Rising Family (A), 74
Ritualist Redoubt (A), 96
Rochefort and Revolution, 74
Rochefort in his Place, 75
Rome and Ramsbotham, 23, 31, 45, 61, &c.
Rome's Ups and Downs, 20
Royal Academy, 126,
Royal Academy made Easy (The), 178
Royal Message Paraphrased (The), 68
Russian Apicius (A), 251
Rye's Baby-Farming, 170

HU
SABBATARIAN Sage (A), 96
Sabbatomaniac Sawney (A), 44
Sadducismus Triumphans, 189
Savours of the Excursion Season, 250

Ambitious, 186
“Any Ornaments for Fire-Stoves?" 284
Anything for a Change, 75
Aunt Virginia afraid to Get Out, 20
Awkward | 106
“ Churchman Armed against the Er.

rors of the Time," 238
Coat of the Period (The), 172
Costume à la Grand Militaire, versus

The Grecian Bend, 83
“Cruelty to Animals," 209
Definition (A), 189
Delightful Position, 95
Delightful Reminiscence of tho Boat

Race (a), 169
Delights of the Chace, 140
Depression, 65
Discussion (A), 182
Diversions of Drill, 86
Drawing it Mild, 147
Dream of Cold Plum Pudding (A), 4
Early French, 244
Early Wisdom, 41
Effective Equestrienne Costume, 221
Effects of Meeting in the Fog, 72
Emollit Mores, 136
Encouragement, 116
Enthusiastic Patron of Art (AD), 192
Entomological Studies, 107
“ Evil Communications," &c., 46
“Eureka!” 21
Geology, 218
Heads or Tails ? 144
History Repeateth Itself, 248
Hopeless Case (A), 196
Horrible Revelations, 78, 240
Husbands and Wives, 170
Hypercritical, 199
Insect World (The), 52
Intelligent ! 32
Invalid Author (The), 159
Investment (An), 254
"It's the Pace that Kills," 40

I would I were a Bird," 167
Jones on the Downs, 229
Last 'Bus (The), 43
“ Last Good Thing" of the Sonson, 154
“Let well Alone P 74
Little Ada and Aunt Lizzle, 97
Mamma's Advice to Pussy, 212
Model Model (A), 130
“Most Becoming Wreath, my Lady!" 55
Mr. Punch's Latest Addition to tho Last

Book of Euclid, 129
Music in the Midlands, 30
New Hackney-Carriage Act (The), 24
Nota Beno, 258
“Nothing in the Papers ! ” 54
Not Improbable, 104
Oil and Water, 179
Our Countryman Abroad, 220
Our Pantomime Train, 1870; 62
O ye Fair I 110
Papa Studying for a Private Perform-
Personal, 251
Picture-Obliterated (A), 126
Pleasures of Fox-Hunting, 50
Point of View (A), 250
Poor Humanity ! 137
Pretty Little Donkoy in a Lion's Skin

(A) 177
Prospective, 117
Public Houses under the Supervision

of the Police, 36
Quite Another Thing, 124
Quite out of Date, 176
"Racy of the Soil," 208
Rather Awkward, 63,
Rather Chilling, 134
Recollections

from Abroad, 10
Roman Fall (The), 216
SAVAGE Pastime; or, The Morality of

Field Sports, 82
Serious Matter (A), 22
“ Servants" (The), 188, 198
Shocking Result of Dark Veils, 94
Slight Mistake (A), 11
Stopper (A), 18
Straight Through from London to Paris,

87
Studies at the Zoological Gardens, 146,

166
Tartar! (A), 90
Temporary Bereavement Philosophi.
cally Borne (A), 202
Thing of Beauty” (A), 241
Things they Manage Better in France,

150
“ Tho' Lost to Sight-" 158
Too True ! 68
Tyranny, 127
Weather, January, 1870 (The), 12
Well-Dot Very, 114
What's in a Name? 84
“What we must Expect," &c., 206
“Where there's a Will there's a Way!"

228
Why Not? 8
" Wind!” 178

ance, 14

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Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 24, Holford Square, in the Parish of St. James, Clerkenwell, in the

County of Middlesex, at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Evans, & 00., Lombard Btreet, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published

by him at No. 86, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride,

City of London.-SATURDAY, June 25, 1870,

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PUBLISHED AT THE OFFICE,

AT THE OFFICE, 85, FLEET STREET,

AND SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS,

1870.

[graphic]

IT
T was far into the night of the Shortest Day of the disturbed, disastrous, and dismal year, 1870.

But MR. Punch, the Philosopher, was not meditating on disturbance, disaster, or dismalness. He sat pondering on Eclipses, with the assistance of MR. NORMAN LOCKYER's Elementary Lesson-book, and he had nearly persuaded himself that he partly understood something of the theory of those Phenomena.

The longest time an Eclipse of the Sun can be total at any place is seven minutes,” he read, and he seemed to derive comfort from that knowledge.. “ There has been no total eclipse of the sun in London since 1715,” he went

"Let's see, that was the year in which the Northern Lights vainly tried to eclipse the Star of Brunswick.”

A card was brought in unto him, inscribed

on.

Monsieur Helios. Mademoiselle Selene.

“I do not know them ; probably some balloon-refugees from Paris. They are welcome. Show them in."

His visitors entered. For a second, he was conscious of a blaze of golden glory, which was succeeded by a silvery effulgence, and then the new arrivals ceased to be more brilliant than other people of the world.

“ Delighted,” said MR. PUNCH, whose imperturbability is proof against Gods and Men. “How are you, Queen and Huntress chaste and fair? And how are you, my far-darter, Lord of the Unerring Bow ? "

Olympian laughter rang musically, and then Diana said, with the smile that made ENDYMION's dream a Paradise “We have a little performance for the Astronomers to-morrow, and we thought that you might like a Private View.”

“ Thanks very much,” said MR. PUNCH, playfully adopting the affectation of the hour. “But you will have to put the performance off. A vessel, laden with Science, has come to grief. I believe she is called—excuse my naming her," he added, with a sly glance at the lady.

“ You may name her, Sir,” said DIANA, laughing, and tossing her radiant head. Psyche was nothing to me.”
“ LEMPRIÈRE
O, if you 'll believe LEMPRIÈRE, you 'll believe anything," said Diana.

I don't believe anything," replied MR. PUNCH. “ But may I offer you terrestrial hospitality ? I fear that I am out of nectar and ambrosia."

from you.

“ Has not MR. D'Ixion told you that we consign such old-fashioned stuff to the sideboard ? ” said APOLLO. “ There are some stupid old deities, uncle NEPTUNE for one, who believe in them, as old fogies on earth see luck in mince-pies. I'll have brandy-and-seltzer, and Miss Di will, I dare say, take some maraschino and a cigarette."

* As BYRON says, There was a light cloud on the Moon,'” said Mr. Punch, handing her a paper of exquisite papirosses Turc fort, the gift of the Russian Ambassador, and marked "Moscou."

"This is the way I am going to put him out to-morrow,” said the Goddess, interposing her fair, round face between her brother's and the Philosopher's. “ You 'll be thirty years older, dear clever boy, before I do it again."

I daresay it's all right, and all very clever,” said Mr. Punch, " but I want a bit of astrology, not astronomy,

Raise your voces stellarum, and tell me what's going to happen in this Sublunary Wale."

"Do you mean to say,” said Diana, reproachfully, “that, with a grand Eclipse to behold, you care about Emperors of Germany, Balloon-Ministers, battles and sieges, broken treaties, and rubbish of that kind ? Who will be thinking about them when the next Eclipse happens ?'

“ Goddess excellently bright," said MR. PUNCH, with that exquisite tact which combines a compliment with a repartee, “it is a good while since that fire occurred at a certain lady's house at Ephesus, and yet we talk of it still."

Don't talk about that,” said DIANA. “Do you know that the priests who incited that poor mad EROSTRATUS to burn my temple, cheated him out of his share of the assurance money ? ”

“ Their Reverences made a good thing out of that Dis-establishment, eh? It does them credit. news, news, news! What say the heavenly bodies? What planet rules the destiny of France, and what is the benefic JUPITER about, and does the violent Mars run retrograde?"

“ Tell him something," said APOLLO, finishing his B. & S.
"Listen :” said DIANA. And leaning down, as erst she leant over her sleeping Shepherd, she whispered.

But what the Moon said to Punch is laid away in the golden casket of his Memory, and locked with the diamond key of his Fidelity. It may be revealed, however, in due season.

“ By Dad," said APOLLO

By Jove, you mean, I suppose ? " said MR. PUNCII.

“ Didn't I say so? DIANA, my dear, we shall be late. It will never do, after good-naturedly appearing at the times predicted, and saving the Astronomers' credit so often, to stultify 'em now, and show that they only make flukes. Kiss him, and come along, will you? We ought to be in Spain by this time. But I'll touch up the fiery-footed steeds, and make 'em gallop apace."

The salute of Diana was given, and the bright guests were vanishing :

Don't hurry your show," cried Mr. Punch. “ If the Sun is Eclipsed for ten days, no matter, I will enlighten Creation. Here is my

But now,

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