Elder Sister. "Now, WHEN YOU SEE A LITTLE ROUND DOT LIKE THAT AT THE END OF A SENTENCE, IT MEANS YOU'RE TO STOP." Harry. "I WILL-AND GO AND PLAY." BETWEEN THE HOSTS. LIKE him of old, when the plague's arrows sped, We stand between the living and the dead, Lifting our hands and prayers to Heaven in vain. Till in a bitter stress of doubt we wait, And hardly dare or know to shape our prayer, Beyond the aching wish to see abate This woe and waste that darken all the air, And make the winter fog seem like a pall Laid on the death-struck earth, and hiding heaven To sit, with innocent and unarmed hands, Or shall we dare advise the German foe, As with firm step, clear purpose, iron will, He moves on to his goal through waste and woe"For all thy sons' blood thou hast had to spill, For all thy treasure thou hast had to spend, Thy breaking up of homes, and wrench of hearts, With less than retribution waive thine end, For love of thy foe's charms and witching arts"? We own the provocation, foully given, That knit a nation's hearts in bonds of steel; But think a shattered throne, great armies driven In rout, or held beneath the conqueror's heel, Set-off sufficient for that traitor-strokeImperial ruin 'gainst Imperial raid Yet pity for this people how invoke, That brooks no pity and implores no aid ?] We love French wit, love France's courteous cheer, And skill in arts that make life fair and bright, As we respect the German soul sincere, Thoroughness, learning, patience, faith in right; Nor scorn we France's false and fickle brood, Hating all truth that frets its self-conceit, More than we loathe the German's stolid mood,' That travels to its ends with iron feet. And so we stand with a divided soul, Our sympathies for both at war within, And first we interpose a useless hand, While still Death holds his way with sword and brand, Still the Valkyrier* make their fatal choice. George D'Artigues (an Madame D'Artigues (a ACT I. ACT II. The Curtain rising discovers Comic Bigamist at breakfast. His name is Cristal. I was once hung for being a bigamist, but was restored by Enter COMMODORE BREITMANN, author of the Breitmann Ballads. Commodore. I will fight anybody who says anything against MADAME D'ARTIGUES. She is my niece. Madame Jezebel (meeting him). Thank you. Commodore (starts). Hallo! You are not my niece, and I've fought six duels on your account already. GEORGE D'ARTIGUES is married. Madame Jezebel (starts). Ah! Cristal (recognising JEZEBEL, starts). Ah! my wife! ACT III. GEORGE at home as an amiable Bigamist. [Exit. Mrs. D'Artigues (Number Two). This letter!! (starts). What does it mean? George starts and exit. Commodore starts and remains. N.B. By the way, a really capital scene here between MR. PAR- Enter Madame D'Artigues (Number One). [Very awkward this for poor GEORGE. End of Play. Attentive Person (to Friend). But I don't quite understand- TIGUES' House. Madame Jezebel (sweetly). I want two thousand Gentleman in Stalls (who has come in late-to his Friend). What for? [Nautical Doctor starts, and drops wine-glass. MADAME JEZEBEL George (beginning to be a trifle suspicious). Hallo! (Dissembles.) Now we'll go out. [Exit with Nautical Doctor. Enter sharp little Soubrette, with Letter. Madame Jezebel (reading letter, starts). Your husband has quarrelled with Monsieur Somebody. Attentive Man (in Stalls). Who's he? His Friend. Don't know. (Refers to bill.) He's not down. rate swordsman. They will fight! Enter GEORGE, he starts and scowls at her. She starts and dissembles. GEORGE sees her and starts.] A CLAP OF STAGE THUNDER. CYNICS say that there are no dramatic critics now-a-days, for what is now called criticism is nothing but false praise. Puffery reigns supreme, they think, in this department of the Press, and public writers are so swayed by private motives towards laudation that anything like censure never comes from their paid pens. Well, this may be true in general, but there are certainly exceptions, as witness these remarks in a recent bit of criticism in the Daily News: .. "He had no story to tell which was worth telling... he had not even the faintest idea of how to handle a plot. nor is the delineation of character exactly his forte .. his dialogue is weak and diffuse . . . his scenes, as a rule, lead to nothing, while his acts invariably terminate with an anticlimax." A pleasant breakfast must the author have had after his "first night," if he found upon his table many notices of his new drama such as this! But, supposing there be fair grounds to justify such censure, I cry "Bravo!" to the writer who has the pluck to pen it. I consider that in pointing out the weak points of a play, a critic merely does what he is privileged and paid to do. As a writer for the public, it is his business and his duty to tell the public truly his opinion of a piece. When a play should be condemned, it is his province to speak plainly, and so prevent his readers from wasting time and money on a worthless work. The public have a right to look for censure in the [Pours poison into GEORGE's glass. newspapers when censure is deserved: and, failing this, the critics may think George (violently). I see 'a yer do it. Madame (starting). Ah! George. MONSIEUR THINGUMMY (can't catch the name) was Lover. I have killed him. your [Starts. She starts. Attitudes. Enter Nautical Doctor. He starts. Nautical Doctor. I will suggest another start. Let your wife you're poisoned, and we'll start off together. Enter Soubrette. Madame Jezebel (starts). Ah! [They start off together, leaving MADAME JEZEBEL to start by herself. Soubrette (starts). Ah! [Goes into fits and starts. Prompter starts and lets down the Curtain on Act I. be viewed as merely hireling manufacturers of puffs. Too many write Leaving you on due occasion to carry out the hint, I remain, Tartarus Place, Tuesday. Policeman (to obtrusive Tramp). "Now THEN, WHAT D'YE MEAN BY SHOVING YOURSELF IN BEFORE THESE POOR PEOPLE OUT O' YOUR YOU STAND BACK, OR-(thinking deeply)-YOU SHALL HAVE SUCH A WASH!!" TURN POOR LOOK-OUT FOR PUDDING. Well, there's one consolation for Paterfamilias And Mater, which ought to make fond parents smile; WOMEN'S NATURAL RIGHTS. THE question of Married Women's Property has not yet reached a settlement. On the evening of Monday week a meeting of the Victoria Discussion Society was held in the Cavendish Rooms to discuss it. Opinions were expressed by ladies and gentlemen in a succession of speeches which led to no conclusion; but SIR ERSKINE PERRY, who occupied the Chair, made a significant remark : they propose to marry a girl without any but naturally personal property; oftentimes the cheapest as well as the most generous marriage. There was something also in what was said by another of the speakers: "MR. HOSKYNS . . . contended that the married women of England had hitherto been very unfairly treated with regard to property. He, MR. HOSKYNS, contended that husbands should treat their wives as equal human beings. He did not consider that they had been so treated hitherto." Very true, HosKYNS, in a measure. On the whole, perhaps, women have not been treated like equal human beings. However, they are always helped first at dinner, and men usually stop at a door, and let their female companions enter first. And this is right. Persons of the ruder sex, meaning to be rude, often make a remark which is truer than they imagine, for them at least. Woman," they say, "is the inferior animal." "Yes," may be the reply, "but she is the superior human being." Let every husband, therefore, duly resign to his wife the liver-wing of a fowl, unless she prefers the gizzard, and let him at least give her the refusal of the pheasant's leg. Incomplete Charade. Educational Colours. THE Post, in a leader on the subject of education, has the following remark relative to "street Arabs" and "gutter-children" who will be educated in the new national schools: "The Chairman observed that the subject about to be discussed was one of "But the colourless religion which will be part of their mental pabulum will be better than their present no-religion." Ought not religion, pure and simple, to be colourless? Light is of |