THE BOOMPJE PAPERS.

BUND we elected Commodore, Commander-in-Chief, and President of the Travelling Society, whose object was to be the pioneer of civilisation to Dutchland. He wanted to bring his violoncello with him, but this was objected to by the entire party. There were still a few preliminaries to be settled. As to expenses, that is a matter generally ignored as mere detail" on Boompje principles.

"Hallo!" says GoOCH, "Who talks Dutch?" He generally prefaces a question or an observation with "Hallo."

It was explained to him, by the Secretary, that Hollanders generally talked Dutch.

"No, no," says he; "look here, you fellars" (another formula with him), "I mean which of you talks it. I don't."

No one did. MAULLIE thought it wasn't necessary. The Secretary thought it was; but suggested that French would do, to a certain extent.

BUND asked if he was Commander-in-Chief or not? Yes, he was. "Very well, then," says he, we 'll have a Courier." It was carelessly objected that this course might be expensive. It was statistically proved by BUND that it couldn't be anything of the sort. His answer was, simply, "No, not a bit of it."

It was mildly opposed by the Secretary; while GoоCH, whose proclivities are swellish, but whose means are limited, halted between two opinions. Boompje, however, prevailed.

MAULLIE said that he'd once travelled with a Courier, and the plan was delightfully luxurious. He had just sold his picture, as I have already hinted, for a sum which would have purchased a wilderness of Couriers. (Boompje adaptation of Shylock.)

BUND offers to be Paymaster-General, and settle with everyone at

the end of the time.

The Secretary and GoоCH immediately agree to this plan, foreseeing the convenience of a distant settlement, and place themselves entirely

in BUND's hands.

MAULLIE yields, on condition that he is to map out what we ought

to see.

BUND knows a Courier, and the thing is done.

Our reasons for going to Holland may be individually stated thus:BUND goes because he's seen the picture galleries once, and forgotten all about them.

MAULLIE, because he knows all the pictures by heart, but has never seen them.

GOOCH, because he has never heard of or seen the pictures.

The Secretary, because he has never seen the pictures, but heard of some of them vaguely.

The Courier, because he's taken.

Coincidence which I notice at Rotterdam after the Boompje title has been adopted, viz., that our Courier's name is JöMP, pronounced Jump; and, therefore, the very name for a leader and guide of the Boompjes.

On we go to Holland, via France and Belgium; and back again, via Belgium and France. Boompje !

"Yes," cries GoоCH, as we were carrying it off jauntily on the quays of Rotterdam, with hearts both light and merry (with which "hey down derry" is to rhyme in The Miller and his Men, vide opening chorus), "here we are regularly out on the spree."

"No," returns PROFESSOR MAULLIE, Sweetly rebuking his junior, "do not say 'on the spree;' say that we are out on the Boompje."

START OF THE BOOMPJES-LILLE-GHENT-THE BOOMPJE HATS.

MAULLIE is to meet us at Antwerp, which we are to pass through on our road to Rotterdam, but where we do not wish to stop, as three of the party "know it by heart." MAULLIE being of an independent Boompje nature, sets off by himself.

From the moment of our concluding arrangements with JöMP, the Courier, all trouble is supposed to be taken off our hands. We merely tell JöMP where we want to go to, JöMP knows the place, of course, intimately, and he could find the way there blindfold. So JöMP arranges our route. We propose, JöMP disposes. JöMP gets all the necessary tickets, and we are to be oblivious of everything until we find ourselves at our first halting place, Ghent.

The only inconvenience about this plan, we find, is that we change our minds, and JöMP doesn't. We decide that we ought to go viá Antwerp first. Then having decided that, we decide again that Antwerp oughtn't to be taken at all, but begin with Bruges. GOOCH exclaims, "Look here! I say! Why not stop at Lille for a night?"

No one knows exactly why not, but it being discovered that there's nothing to be done at Lille at night, "except go to bed, that's all," says JoMP, disparagingly, the proposal is dismissed as unworthy of notice, and GoоCH says, Hang it he thinks you might listen to some of his suggestions." As this looks like breaking up the party before it starts, we compromise by calling in JöMP (which would have saved us con

siderable trouble at first, as we now find he has taken all the tickets via his own route) and asking him if we go near Lille.

called out of bed at short notice, and dressed himself in a hurry. He JÖMP, when questioned, always gives one the idea of having been collects his scattered senses by passing his hand forwards and backwards over his head several times, and murmuring something, partially unintelligible, still in his character of a man not quite awake. "Lille," he is understood to murmur vaguely, 66 vell-um-um." It should be mentioned that JöMP is, it is supposed, of Swiss origin, and possesses such a knowledge of languages as is enough to render him generally unintelligible in any particular tongue.

yes!

Lille," he replies, considering, Lille-vell-um-um-um ! Oh "-this he gives in the tone of a permission-"Oh yes, you can go by Lille," wherewith he shrugs his shoulders, as if to give us to underto mention the entire derangement of his own plans. stand that such a détour will put the train to considerable trouble, not

"Yes." But BUND puts it in a barrister-like style. "Do we go there or do we not?"

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Vell," says MR. JöMP, after polishing his head slowly, preparatory to taking his cap in both hands, and holding it behind him, "Vellsuddenly, as an afterthought, which is to take us by surprise," If you you can go by Lille-oh yes-de train pass true dere." Then he adds go that vay."

mapped out to the satisfaction of all parties. It is finally decided that we won't stop at Lille. And the route is

have got down to Milan, or spent the time in Switzerland, instead of BUND says confidentially to the Secretary, that he should like to Holland.

MAULLIE takes an early opportunity (when we subsequently come majority, but for his part he should like to have made Dort his chief up with him at Antwerp) of informing me that he gives way to the who is always ready with an argument from Murray, points out that place, and stopped there. MAULLIE's one idea is to go to Dort. BUND, his authority says, "There is nothing to detain the traveller at Dort."

is sure that Dort is the most interesting place in Holland. JöMP says, MAULLIE says that it is only true after you've seen everything. He "Oh yes, um-um-um, you can stop at Dortrecht-um-um." Then, as an afterthought, "if de steamer go dere." On the whole, we keep Boompje sonnet by MAULLIE:Dort in reserve for MAULLIE, if he won't go on without it. First

A broiling hot day. the water in crossing.

Gooch thinks that there won't be a ripple on BUND is of opinion, having had something to do with nautical affairs in his time, that it may be " blowing freshish outside." The mention of outside" exercises an unpleasant influence over Gooch. He stations himself as near the centre as possible, and won't rise from his seat.

MR. JÖMP, with admirable forethought, places the coats and bags on our seats, which he secures for us several minutes before the boat starts, in such a position that we get the sun in our eyes, the blacks from the chimney, and the heavy moisture from the steam valve pipe.

On being remonstrated with by BUND, who points out to him (BUND once had a thirty-ton yacht off Erith, which he thought resembled the French coast without the nuisance of having to learn a foreign language) that when the wind is SS. by EE., and the sun is at meridian, also when a boat is steering from SE. by NW. then, if you want to keep out of the sun, you must get into the shade, JöMP replies, with an admirable readiness, which shows him equal to any emergency. Vell, yes-um-um-you can move the things.'

GOOCH, finding that there is no chance of being inconvenienced by the voyage, now becomes hilarious, and ventures upon pale ale and a cigar. He regales us with anecdotes of himself in various towns of Europe, chiefly Boulogne and Paris. He begins to air his French, and points out two or three people on board who he assures us, on his own experience, are regular foreigners," and who turn out to be commercial travellers from Liverpool. Boompje!

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At Calais he rejoices in being on the shores of France once morela belle France he exclaims-as if he'd been born or brought up there. He exhibits the soldiers, the douaniers, and the French people to us generally with this preface, "Look here, you won't see this sort of thing in England, you know. We can't do that," a summing up generally in depreciation of his own country.

THOUGHTS OF GREAT MEN.

(Now first Collected.)

HAT a comfort to thousands have these precious words of JEAN PAUL'S been! "Happiness sits on your front-door step. You need not even go round the corner to look for it. It can stand a rude blast and a rough fall, and is warranted to keep in the hottest climates. Treasure it, preserve it, pickle it, but call no man happy who goes to rest with a single bill unpaid."

How sublime is this thought

of GOETHE'S! "The Ocean of Existence has never yet been hydrographed, and its deepest secrets are past dredging for. We gather a few tender tinted shells, a few tufts of bright weed, and sup off costly molluscs; but the Sea and We are still Strangers, we and the Sea make no progress, and Life sinks behind the horizon before the Bud of Acquaintance has burst into the Bloom of Friendship. Walk by the Margin, and listen to the Waters moaning their strange Secret to the sympathising Stars, and take another cigar before you turn in."

MILTON well knew that the experience of all middle-aged men would amply corroborate this chain of corollaries :

MUSCULAR CHRISTIAN EXERCISE.

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Ar the Summer Meeting of the London Amateur Athletic Club, held last Saturday at the Little-bridge Grounds, West Brompton, heading the list of sports which then came off, there took place a pedestrian contest of a somewhat remarkable denomination, namely, a Race by Novices." This may be imagined to have been an interesting combination of athleticism and asceticism. On that supposition it must be supposed to have taken place permissu superiorum; and credit will accordingly be given to the superiors for their liberality and disposition to meet the times. But, on further perusal, finding that "the first heat resulted in favour of PERCY SPURLING," the reader has probably discerned that the Race by Novices was at any rate not a foot-race between young ladies in their novitiate; which deprives it in a measure of the interest it would otherwise have possessed.

Sport and Game.

THERE is something in the argument that, as pheasants and other game have come to be bred and fed like domestic poultry and live stock, they should now by statute be declared to have ceased to be fera naturá, and to have become property. To abate the prejudice which objects to this proposal, perhaps, as the slaughter of tame animals is no sport, the landed poulterers will discontinue shooting.

A NEW ERA.-In Greece it is not the Golden Age, nor the Silver Age, nor the Iron Age, but the Brigand-Age.

works of the human heart! Listen to a few of his gems. "Never lend your horse. Seem, rather than be. Build your garden wall higher, if your neighbour can look over it. Tread warily, if your path is strewn with broken bottles. Be ready to do small kindnesses-always have postage stamps in your pocket, and Metropolitan time-tables, and the finest Eau-de-Cologne that money can procure."

Mark what LAVATER said to WILLIAM TELL, when they were coming home in the dawn from a post-mortem, over the Bridge of Sighs, and talking about the Revenue Returns. Put a good face on the matter. If troubles rise, stare them out of countenance. We all wear the same uniform-only the facings are different. The richest man cannot escape the toothache, and the poorest may enjoy a sunset and a salad. Be content, and fill up your Income-tax paper with conscientious fidelity, and you will be scheduled with the soft."

Golden words these of BACON's: "The weaknesses of men are often the strength of states, and the favourites of princes have before now become the shuttlecocks of vengeful Fortune. Some men are born and others die; but none can escape either the one day or the other. Between the beginning and the end there lie many intercalated Stations, where we may rest and recreate, and gather strength for the ventures that Fortune hath yet in her wallet. Blind as she is, she sometimes drops the bandage and catches the SPEAKER's eye; but her myrmidons are a host, and her followers a great army, and to be victorious over Fortune your weapons must be keen, well-tempered, and bright, your arms strong and resolute, your courage dauntless, your endurance martyr-like, and your wife's relations unexceptionable.'

CRITICISM AND KINDNESS.

NOUGHT of the dead but good. Forbearance kind.
Disparagement can hurt them now no more,
Injure in credit, or affect in mind;

Praise after death him you traduced before.
Sprinkle his grave with flowers of purple hue;
For 'tis an office to perform inane.
Throw roses for the dirt you sometime threw.
No longer they can please, or it give pain.
Him, whomsoe'er defunct, extol; be sure
No better for your praises he can be.
Assail the living, those who yet endure,
And may be harmed, or vexed, by obloquy.

WHERE Piccadilly's ablaze, in the height and the heat of the seasonRises a gaily-hung tent, in the yard of the mansion of PENDERMansion belit and bepictured and crowded with stateliest swelldom, Swelldom that, down from blood royal, in Wales and in Cambridge embodied,

Flows through the pipes of the Peerage-Diplomacy-MinistersMembers

Thence to the Magnates of Money and so to the syndics of Science. Ceaseless the buzz and the bowing, the flashing of stars and of garters, Ceaseless the mopping of brows and imbibing of cooling refreshments, Endless the glare and the glitter and gossip-the wealth and the wittles. What have they met to accomplish, these leaders of fashion and science? What is it brings them together, before the small syphon that, waving, Scatters its fine jet of ink in accord with the pulses electric,

So making plain to the eye what the spark through the wires is conveying?

What is transacting to-night in the tent of the mansion of PENDER? Lo, 'tis BRITANNIA stretching invisible hands under ocean,

Bringing the farthermost East and the uttermost West into contact; Hearing and answering words from the height of the far HimalayahsHearing and answering words from the White-House across the Atlantic,

Hearing and answering words from El-Khasr, and Divan of Khedive:
Hearing and answering words of Portuguese Luiz at Belem;

Quick as next-door neighbours a question could ask and could answer.
Sending the VICEROY OF INDIA a greeting of wifely affection,
Rousing him out of his bed, at four minutes past five in the morning,

viduals who are said to have the upper story unfurnished; but we doubt. What a curiosity this family must be! We have all heard of indiwhether there is any other instance on record of two, nay, three furnished rooms being found in one family.

"HUNGER is the best Sauce;" ergo, the Hungriest is the most saucy.

A LAWN PARTY.-Convocation.

THE RIGHT PLACE.-Antiquaries and historians are agreed that in ancient Babylon all the executions took place in the hanging gardens.

ADVICE TO PERSONS WHO HAVE "FALLEN IN LOVE."-Fall Out.