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MRS. WIGSBY ON THE WAR.

IGGER battaliums always gains the wictory, is it? May be so.

Bigger battaliums and better generals, and better manidgement may account for it all. There mayn't be nothink more whatsomedever that have had to do with it. Your fust class styptical news. papers may be right for what anybody knows, or the notions of a old 'ooman. But 'tis curus, if you comes to think, to see how things has ’appened just as they med ha' bin expected to 'appen supposin' there raly is a will as orders battles above them as orders the battaliums; as if the battles was actilly hordered a good deal accordin' to right and wrong. Now, just you look back. How did this rumpus,

which it's fearfal to think of, 5

all begin! In the fust place

the Prooshans and Austrians together unjustly attackted and plundered Denmark. To be sure, what the poor Danes had done to desarve to be attackted and plundered, I don't know. No more I don't know what the old gentleman had done as was murdered tother day—but he as murdered him was 'ung for it. Very well : and what ’appened to them as plundered and murdered the Danes ? Direckly, a most, Austria and Proosha fell out. They quarreled over their beauty, and the Austrians and Prooshans set to and massacreed one another. A few years goes by, and then the French, out o'mere pride and wain-glory and envy of their neighbours, without any cause to justify 'em, whatsomedever, inwades the Proosbans. See what they've got by it. Sartingly the Prooshans suffers pretty nearly as much; and when they considers how they made the Danes suffer, p'raps it may come 'ome to 'em. There ! Suppose I was a Judge, and’ad to pass sentence on them there peoples, Austria, Proosha, and France, and order 'em to be whipped all round, the whippins I should measure out to 'em each one of the three, would be exactly as near as could be in propotion to the punishment, more or less, they've bin a givin' one another. As fur as appearances goes, anyhow, it do seem as if there was a will and power at work directin' big battaliums otherways than them as makes war by means of 'em could or would. Perhaps 'tis only a 'old 'ooman's fancy; but you must own that, leastways, appearances is in favour on it. Wery true they that has egged and led their countries on to all that 'ere slaughter and misery suffers least of all for the present, so appearances may deceive, as the sayin' is; but if so be that ideer's true as they'd make you think possible, what can them that is responsable for sitch wickedniss expect in the end?

What though on thy way thou starvest,

Or wadest in blood knee-deep ? Beyond this blood and brattle

Lies sunshine for thee and calm : Through the mitrailleuse's rattle

Thou hear'st Peace chaunt her psalm ;
On the red wounds of battle,

Feelest her shed her balm.
With "iron and blood” thou 'rt paying

The toll that clears thy road,
To fields where the sun is playing.

On the harvest thou hast sowed,
To be reaped 'gainst all gainsaying

Of foes, to the final load.
The harvest of patient Learning,

Of Peace's crafts and arts;
Of Science's sharp discerning,

And Labour's busy marts; Of home-affections yearning,

And law-abiding hearts. A harvest worth thy sowing

With "blood and iron " seed, Though sown by hands unknowing

The harvests' mighty meed, Who saw no green blade growing,

Or scorned it for a weed. But before blood and iron

Can yield this harvest rare Right soil must the seed environ,

And nurture of breezes fair.
That seed heap filthy mire on,

Or give it poisoned air,
And in the germ unquickened

'Twill die, a barren thing,
Or with such nurture quickened,

In a warp'd growth it will spring, Where blood to mud seems thickened,

And where iron hath no ring. How oft with blood and iron)

Hath not France sowed her soil, While Hope sang, like the Syren,

Swift harvests of her toil, Till the sowers France wreaked her ire on,

And their labours made a spoil. What blood and iron sowing

In Ninety-Two shot hate; And lo! their harvest growing

In France's humbled state. With civil strife o'erflowing,

The conqueror at her gate! “Blood and iron” Europe over,

Broadcast NAPOLEON shed,
From the sea that guardeth Dover

To the Neva's icy bed !
Could the chieftain's harvest cover

His island prison bed ?
And what harvest reaped the nation

Of his “ blood and iron” seed,
But war and desolation,

Spent fields, and stunted breed ; The invader's proud dictation,

And the vanquished's bitter meed?
After uncle nephew soweth

His "blood and iron,” too,
In the Boulevard volley that moweth

The fools, who take for true
The mask wherein he goeth

The Republic to undo.
What, France, shall for this reaping

Of "blood and iron”, grow,
Wasted in false men's keeping

On fields won by the foe?
What harvest, but the weeping

Of shame and wrath and woe,
And strife and hates unsleeping,

And utter overthrow!

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“ BLOOD AND IRON.” By Blood and Iron,” quoth BISMARCK,

Must Germany be made :"
And with blood and iron his mark

On Germany he has laid :
And in France's flank, too, is mark

Of his keen two-edged blade.
Strong is the welding power

That blood and iron wield
When the Man comes, with the Hour,'

And the righteous battle-field,
Where the iron's hail and shower

Of blood, their harvest yield. Harvest of self-devotion,

Of faith in a noble cause, That holy and high emotion

To which death gives no pauseThis of blood is worth an ocean,

To this men's lives are straws. Nor this the only harvest

Thou, Germany, shalt reap With the sword, wherewith thou carvest

Thy path to the Ganlish keep;

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THE WORST OF SAVAGES.

MOUSETRAP! MARRY, HOW? AFTER having read the descriptions of the carnage and the state of Never may Mr. Punch have to publish a cartoon corresponding to the wounded, sent us from the seat of war, it is comparatively cheering the work of humorous art thus described by a correspondent of the to read the details of the late massacre at Tien-Tsin, although the Times in Paris :Times most truly says of them :

“The Parisian is intensely hopeful, and a caricature published yesterday is “The details are too horrible for repetition. It is enough to say that all a perfect image of his thought. There is a huge mousetrap, on the raised the cruelty and barbarity of which the Chinese (nature is capable were doorway of which is inscribed 'France.' . A regiment of mice dressed as wreaked on the Frenchmen and the helpless Frenchwomen who happened to Prussian soldiers are marching towards it. Their leader points with his be within reach of the mob.”

sword to the cheese inside, which has the tempting inscription Paris.' But the number of the killed amounted altogether to no more than. May timely provision of a more than sufficient Navy, and of an twenty-two Europeans and about forty natives at the outside ; and amply sufficient Army, secure Punch against the sorrow of being ever there were no wounded at all, or few if any. The Chinese, too, had obliged to iilustrate the national situation by representing foreign some shadow of provocation, if not excuse, to extenuate, in a measure, troops as mice marching on the Cheese, that cheese being the Cheshire the atrocities which they committed. They had reason to suspect that Cheese, Fleet Street, and, though over the way, situated near Mr. the French Missionaries attached to the Orphanage, were accustomed, Punch's Office. through bribery, to kidnap native children, as the priests at Rome kid- Well, but when our Parisian friends have trapped the mice, what napped the Jew-boy, in order to keep them from growing up in Foism then ? Perhaps the cat will be let out of the bag. or Buddhism, and train them up in Romanism. To ascertain the truth or fallacy of this suspicion the local authorities besought the

Missionaries to allow their Orphanage to be inspected, which those reverend gentlemen, with the secretiveness characteristic of their cloth, refused. Of

Autumnal Reflection.
course, it was as ridiculous of the heathen Chinese, 'as it is of the

The reapers now with scythe in hand
British Protestant Public, to suppose that, in the case of any Romanist

Amid the yellow corn-fields stand :
establishment, systematic concealment can mean that there is anything

What pleasure 'tis to watch each cutter,
to conceal. But bigots are bigots, and barbarians are barbarians,

And think of future bread and butter !
British and foreign ; and what can you expect from a hog but a grunt?
Something worse, if the hog is a savage boar; and the Chinese at
Tien-Tsin behaved after their kind under the fury excited by their
sense, however imaginary, of outraged love of offspring. And then

A LITTLE STORY.
the Chinese are, as aforesaid, heathens. Altogether, therefore, the WHEN COBSHOTT was presented with a handsome silver tankard, in
massacre at Tien-Tsin, although

perfectly diabolical, contrasts most recognition of his valuable services as Honorary Secretary to the Becfavourably with the war now raging between two Christian nations, clesham Bowling Club, his friends congratulated him on having some

COBSHOTT, who is not always comparison with that of the aggressors responsible for that disgrace to in the easiest pecuniary circumstances, made this brief but impressive both Christianity and civilisation.

reply—“Melted down, more likely."

vorum.

says, Bund, our Commodore, sticks to. MAULLIE does to Hollanders THE BOOMPJE PAPERS.

what the Hollanders did to their own country when they made it what it is; I need say no more. Boompje! But MauLLIE, R.A., is eager

for pictures, and swears to see every public and private collection in THE CLUB VISITS LEIDEN-NOTES BY THE WAY_OBJECTS OF IN- Holland; even if he has to lug out private collectors by the collar. TEREST-JÖMP IN THE VEIN-RETURN TO THE HAGUE.

As for Gooch, Holland is not Paris; and to him Paris is the Continent. Now, Jömp," says BUND, “ have you ordered the carriage ?'

But why did Murray lead me to expect so much in Holland? Why yes," replies Jömp, deprecating the Commander's insinuation does he say (quoting, perhaps, but no matter, he adopts it)"that here the that he had allowed such a command as that to slip his memory, “O order of Nature is inverted." Here, in effect, fishes swim into your bedyes; the carriage vill be ready-” He thinks it out; and, without room window. That here you live two thousand feet below the level of committing himself to a positive moment for the appearance of the any known sea. Wby am I given to understand that my drives are to carriage, adds, “ Ven the 'orses shall be in it.”

be under water. By Murray I am led to expect that for the shooting Quel espèce" begins Gooch, and then corrects himself, as if he'a season one must take out a licence to fire at red herrings, but sprats really quite forgotten his native tongue, and run into French so easily are vermin. Izaak Walton, if here, would have to angle for jackdaws, that it was a difficult matter to get out

of it again—“I

mean, what troll for cocksparrows, and bottom-fish for larks. We were to be sort”-be emphasises this, as his translation-"what sort of a place is in a sort of dry Red Sea land with water walls on either side. All the Leiden ?" Then, by way of a relapse, " Triste, n'est-ce pas ?

trees would be (I expected) of seaweedy character, and I was to be (I Bien triste," answers MUNTLEY.

had fondly hoped) awoke in the morning by the piping of a fresh cock Vous avez raison!says Finton. They are immensely pleased salmon on the upper branches. But what is the fact? Why simply with themselves after this, which is what they call airing their French hat the country is flat, and canalled, instead of tunnelled, as it would for practice. Wben they want to keep up a conversation in this lan- have been if mountainous; that in the towns you are as much above guage, they explain their meaning to one another in English, and so the side of the canal, name of which I don't know, never did, and never

the canals as Londoners are when walking along the Harrow Road by get along excellently.

Jömp polishes his head with his handkerchief (" That-Boomp-je !- shall, but it seems to me to rise somewhere in Paddington, to meander old rag!” growls Gooch, for the hundredth time, “I must get him a at right angles about the pleasant vale of Maida, to disappear somenew

one !"), looks at MAULLIE, who is sitting in an arm-chair at the where at a small outpost of London (where mortuary stone works are window, " taking a bit,” and replies,

made, suggesting the idea that those mighty efforts of the sculptor's "Vell-Leiden-O yes!”-here he ruminates, as if recalling happy art in the New Road had come down here for an airing), and to lose scenes of bis childhood passed in Leiden—"Vell-um-um-7 yes !" itself finally in the country, probably in the Uxbridge direction. This Then, having thought it well out, be adds, “O yes, you can go to repeated, without any undulation of country, is Holland : that is, an Leiden,” and looks round upon us with the air of a man who has re- eternal canal, and something to walk on on either side, with bridges to moved an almost insurmountable difficulty.

cross it when you want to vary the monotony of being on the left bank of refreshing Jömp's memory, and rather as if Jömp had written this por- might expect in a Boompje land. Murray says," observes Bund, referring to his guide, as a means by changing it for the right.

There is a good deal of bright polished brass about Holland, as you tion of Murray, and was to be held responsible for it. ah-where's the place ?" Bund has got about a dozen different

While writing the above it occurs to me that a free translation of markers in Murray, and generally exhausts the Rhine before finding Boompje;" as settled and fixed by the Club Dictionary, would be what he is really looking for-Ah! here it is! Now-let's see.

Bounce." 'Leiden' "" he reads at intervals—".

was called Lugdunum Bata

Leiden at last.–What shall we do? Evidently to begin with Jömp smiles at this, as if he didn't believe it. Bund pro- waking up. We wake up. Here is Leiden. Ask the coachman. ceeds: “There's a fragment of a round tower'-hem-DRUSUS '--yes Can't, he's a Dutchman." Tell Jömp to ask Dutch_coachman what

Anglo-Saxon Hengist’-nothing that concerns us particularly.". we're to do here. No use. Jömp tries. As usual, Dutch coachman Jömp looks on in an attentive attitude, but with the fixed inane smile of can't understand a single word. Jömp shrugs his shoulders pityingly. a big head in a pantomime. Bund, having skipped over some paragraphs, We manage, between Jömp's Dutch (limited), our French and as we suppose, continues : “It stands in a tea-garden- » Here he English, to make an intelligent Baker understand us. The process is a pauses, puzzled.

long, one, and all Leiden is out-of-doors to hear and see, and, if “What stands in a tea-garden ?” asks Maullie, who is cross possible, join in the conversation. because he considers that every minute spent out of a picture-gallery 'Pon my soul,” exclaims Gooch, in a tone of unmitigated disgust, is so much time wasted.

“We're being mobbed wherever we go. We might as well be that “What sort of a place is the tea-garden ?” asks BUND of JÖMP. cracked Chinaman, or the Japanese ambassadors, in London. Confound “ Une espèce de Nabille ?suggests Gooch.

it, it's too bad.” He is very wrathful with BUND and Jömp, but A sort of Mabille, is it p.” translates MUNTLEY.

settles down ultimately on MAULLIE. “If he was only dressed like a Or Rosherville ? Amendment from FINTON.

civilised Christian, and not in that Boompje hat and tourist suit, they JÖMP thinks it out. 'Vell-um-um-um-you can ’ave tea dere, wouldn't stare at us like barbarians. Hang 'em!” if you like.” He shrugs his shoulders as much as to say that he, per- “Are there no objects of interest here?” asks MUNTLEY, in the sonally, couldn't recommend it.

rumble. “Yes,” growls Gooch, we are : confound it." But,” urges Gooch, who sees a café chantant looming in proba- We try to gather information from the intelligent inhabitants of Leiden. bility, “is there any fun there?

“Is there a church to be seen here?” This puzzles them for ten minutes, Any band ?” throws in the Commander, thinking of his violoncello during which time we repeat the question in all sorts of forms, and at home.

in ingenious variations of languages. The intelligent Baker, assisted 'Vell,” replies Jömp, considering his evidence in a way that would by our intelligent coachman, who rouses himself for an effort, suddenly drive a Judge and Counsel wild, and give a Special Jury the fidgets; grasps the meaning of our question. He explains to the populace (a “vell-dere's-dere's a-garden for tea, you know-0 yes !” crowd of about forty people of all ages and sizes), who take up the Any pictures ?" demands MAULLIE, sharply.

reply as a part-song for several voices. Hopelessly unintelligible. We "Vell-um-um,” Jömp, becoming very warm from some interior demand a solo by the Baker, or the Coachman. They insist on making conflict, mops his head with the handkerchief, and finally, putting his it a duett. (GOOCI, writhing, says, "Boompje 'em-drive on : do!" hands behind him with the bearing of a man prepared to die a martyr but we don't stir.) From a solo by some one we are given to underto bis love of truth, says, I do not know. I'ave never been dere.stand that there is no church open. ("It's a Protestant country,” says Then, why the-Boompje !--" from everybody.

Gooch; "they don't keep 'em open. Hang it! let's drive back again. 'Carriage ready!” the Waiter announces, and Jöme escapes. but we don't stir.) We insist that there must be a church worth see. On the road to Leiden Bund proposes to read Murray's account of ing. The populace (after five minutes allowed to reduce this to intelligiit to us. The country is monotonous, and the new entertainment of a bility) ridicule the idea of our being driven over from the Hague to go reading from Murray partakes of the same character. In half an hour to Church. ("They think we're mad. Do drive on!” says Gooch, all are asleep. I employ the remainder of the drive in making the piteously.) MAULLIE asks boldly for the Stadhuis. They don't know following observations :

it. “Not the Stadhuis ?” reiterates MAULLIE, surprised. No: pot My impression of Hollandup to now (N.B. Confirmed hereafter).- the Stadhuis. “Then isn't the University worth seeing P” Populace From first to last all is Boompje, utter Boompje, unmitigated Boompje. take this up as a riddle (it seems as if we are a travelling company for Understanding, that Boompje be always used in our accepted Club conundrums), and after considering it in parts as before, put the puzzle sense. Murray's travellers, be they who they may, from lucky Number together, and the answer is No. "O!” exclaims Gooch, "you be One, who does all the good hotels, to poor Number Five, who only Boompje'd. Here, let's get out and walk about the town.” lives to tell others what to avoid, are all robustious, periwig-pated We discover the University at last. Down a street: very retired. fellows.

It could be put into Trinity Hall's waistcoat-pocket. There are some In five words (that is, in threepennorth of modern post-office tele- comic drawings on the wall of the staircase, representing a scholar graphic expression), I am disappointed with Holland. Bund is not ; leaving home for the Academy, and his return therefrom. Datch boy's for he believes in Murray, and the blameless Bradshau. What Murray(humourWe yawn about the place. We ask shont JEAN OF LEIDEN.

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We inquire for (Murray's) Botanical Garden, the Egyptian Museum, the Churches of St. Peter and St. Pancras. "Nobody knows, nobody

WAR NEWS. cares. It is vacation time. Leiden is asleep. Our conundrums are all given up, and we return to our carriage.

DATE.-September. PLACE.--All over the Shop. Dull road' home. Bund reads extracts from Murray as to what we

I'm obliged to give you the above evasive answer, your Noble ought to have seen. Bund turns on Jömp: You ought to bave known all about it. It's your business. You be told off to Chokey as a gay spy any morning.

Washup,'cos a Cockalorum who lets out where he is and when he is, might

And sarve bim said you'd been all over this country before. And if you hadn't been, right, too, says the Duchess, as I told the Hereditary Grand when he you ought to have made all the inquiries, or sent somebody with us who could take us everywhere."

warned me. "Vell,” replies Jömp, deeply injured, and almost shedding tears, a story, my noble

Lord and Marquis," says I.

“What Duchess !” asked the Hereditary Swell in command. "It's “I say dat I'ave not been in Leiden. I cannot tell you vot I do not Hereditary Grand, meaning, to this intelligent Militaire, that he'd

"Forwards," says the know." Finton, in the rumble, is humming the march from the Prophète : rather like it than not.

“The story's only this," says I, so on we goes : "The Duchess was Suddenly, he stops, and addresses us : what a capital match JEAN OF LEIDEN and Joan of ARC would have opp says the Duchess, sugaring. "Why,' says the Dook, :I'm

I say, sitting down to tea. Hullo says the Dook, looking in. What's made! Almost the same dress, too.” This induces meditation, and we wake up at the Hague.

Here Young SINGYMÁRINGY (as I call him, and be likes it now) looked in, and the Hereditary Grand says, “Captain,” to me, "to be continued in our next.”

Right you are!” 'says this gay Warrior, and mounts his gallant A ROMAN POSTER.

Gee. So he didn't hear it this journey. A LETTER from CARDINAL ANTONELLI, forwarded to ARCHBISHOP be up with the cockeoly bird, and polishing the pigskin on the ambling

Rather hard lines on Your Own Lighthearted Soldier just now. To MANNING, and published by the latter, states, with reference to the Gee for ten hours off the reel, takes the starch out of this gay Militaire,

Apostolical Constitution, constituting the Pope infallible, that :- and as to slerping, your Noble Washup, we don't seek the virtuous “The Constitution in question had the most solemn publication possible on until very small hours. the very day upon which, in the Vatican Basilica, it was solemnly confirmed I'm on the Staff (sort of supernumerary with the chill off) of the and promulgated by the Sovereign Pontiff in the presence of above five Crown Cockalorum Commander-in-Chief. The careering, Gee did it. hundred Bishops ; for it was then, although such was not necessary in this The Hereditary took a fancy to it. case, put up with the ordinary formalities in the usual places of Rome; in tit." "Yours truly, your Washup,” says this gay Cavalier, and I'll

Captain,” says be, "I like your gatory for the whole Catholic world, without need of any other publication back bim against any. Gee of his own size, weight, and age, head and whatsoever."

tail screwed on the right way, for a trotting match, or a hurdle race; Thus, Pro Nono, though he claims to be a greater man than Moses jump over an umbrella, or a barge pole on a high road, for money.""

As a charger ?" says he. the Lawgiver, condescends to advertise himself after the fasbion of Moses AND Šon, and, albeit professing infinite superiority to the neutral B. and 8. together, and in half an hour I'd a Uhlan's sabre by

"All there when the bell rings,” was Your Own's reply. We split a Propbet SAMUEL, disdains not recourse to means 'of obtaining publicity such as those employed by SAMUEL BROTHERS. In short, the by side, ready

to show what gimlet means to an unfriendly Cockalorum. HOLY FATHER bills the town of Rome, and sticks up posters about the Eternal City. Fancy a specimen of one of these papal (not to speak They stick on somehow like gum, through a line of gates, but across

These Gay Prooshans ain't quite the noble sportsman on horseback. profanely) puffs :

the open after the Wily, pounded's the word, my Noble Marquis, for PIUS P.P.

the lot of 'em. Paternally solicits the attention of the Faithful to the fact that he

Next day.
Up, Cockalorums, and at 'em! We're on 'em in spadefuls. Never
JULY 18, 1870,

was such times. “Pay as we go,” is the order. I am chiefly billeted In the Sacrosanct and Celebrated

with SINGYMARINGY. He pays and I go. He's a well-meaning CockChurch of S. Peter at Rome,

alorum, but rather cornered here. He was inclined to be nasty at first,

when I chaffed him with, “ Thou art the cause of this here anguish, my and in the presence of above

ŞINGYMARINGY,” but a look from me soon convinced bim that I could FIVE HUNDRED BISHOPS,

double up his perambulator, Unanimously acknowledged and solemnly voted and declared to be endowed This Gay and Gallant ain't, as yon know, in the habit of quarrelling with the most stupendous Attribute of Absolute

with his wittles. But-though in the Champagne country we don't INFALLIBILITY !

bustle the sparkling, and the wine of this place is so uncommon like

the vinegar of any other place that just now grapes is sour, your noble Having been, by the universal Agreement of the Most Reverend Fathers Washup. There's nothing round in the mouth to cross your poor in Canonical Assembly,

Soldier's lips. SINGYMARINGY goes in heavy for goat's milk. It's PRONOUNCED INFALLIBLE ! !

enough to make your hair curl for a twelvemonth to look at him sucking Together with all the Predecessors, of

it out of a wooden bowl. Gently does it with this gay Militaire in that

quarter, as your Own Cockalorum can't afford to have the Herr DocHis Holiness,

torum dosing him for the papsylals. And likewise all the Successors of

As for the cheese, it will wake you up a mile off; and my name 's THE HOLY FATHER,

grinders over what they call a filly. Who shall hereafter at any time occupy

Duty calls. The spirited Gee is at the door. "'ARDY, ’ARDY, kiss

me, ’ARDY!” and “ England expects," &c. Hold on!' Do you get The Holy See ;

this distinguished Correspondence, or don't you ? The only Theological Establishment in Christendom at which the GENUINE

Latest. ARTICLE, warranted FREE from all DELETERIOUS_ADMIXTURE, can be obtained. We defy Competition. No Surrender! To all Appeals for all Cockalorums (Proosban) all over the shop. French bustled no end. inadmissible concession Our Reply is

Look out for a Universal Tittup à Paris. The correct tip; no spring Non Possumus !

or false bottom

From your own devoted Cockalorum, 19 Indulgences, Dispensations, &c., as usual. Every article stamped

DYNGWELL. with the SEAL of the FISHERMAN. None others are genuine. Peter's Pence may be forwarded to the Vatican.

Telegram.

(Totally untrustworthy.) LITERARY ANECDOTE.

“THE KING OF PRUSSIA proposes the PRINCE Or HOHENZOLLERN

[Communication stopped. READING a capital letter in the Telegraph, our friend MRS. JONES as candidate for the Throne of came on the words, “France is pullu lating “Meaning of that word,, quick P.” she demanded of her nephew SAMMY.

Germinating, aunt," promptly responded the "well-educated infant.” After some

KEPT IN STOCK. tbought, AUNT JONES observed, “Very right; if I were French I THERE is one place which the French agents, who are said to be should be German-hating, too." SAMMY hooted, but bolted in time to travelling about buying up all the bacon in this country should not fail escape a box on his irreverent ears.

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A DEGENERATE DAUGHTER.
Shuddering Wife of Charlie's bosom. “ PROMISE ME, CHARLIE, DEAR, O PROMISE ME, THAT YOU 'LL NEVER GO AND LET YOURSELF
BE ORGANISED INTO A SOLDIER ! AND THAT IF EVER THE ENEMY WANTS TO COME AND TAKE ENGLAND, YOU AND I AND MAUD AND
BABY WILL FLY TO OTHER CLIMES, AND LET HIM!!!"

His Mother-in-Law. “Don't TALK SUCH UNWOMANLY NONSENSE, MATILDA! WHY, IF EVER THE FOREIGN INVADER DARED TO
BET his Foot on BRITISH GROUND, IT WOULD BE SOME COMPENSATION, AT LEAST, TO ME, TO KNOW THAT MY HUSBAND WAS AMONG
THE VERY FIRST TO CONFRONT THE FOE!”

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on provisions, cattle, horses, carriages, forage, &c., but on money also, after THE BRITISH BLUNDERBUSS,

which they set fire to the country.” "A PROGRESSIVE OFFICER," in a letter to the Times, quotes a state

As a matter of fact it is somewhat doubtful that the Prussian soldiers ment by MR. CARDWELL, to the effects that the arming of the Militia actually return evil for evil, when, in so doing, they would act contrary with Snider breechloaders is to be gradually completed, after which to orders. But suppose they did plander

or burn everything in their the Volunteers are to be ' gradually. armed with the same weapon.'

way on their march into France. Such conduct, although opposed to Gradually; a good phrase," as Justice Shallow says. It comes from the injunction which requires people absolutely to love their enemies, gradus, a step, and, considering how likely we are, in the event of is not very unnatural, in an enemy's country, on the part of invaders invasion, to be gradually invaded, may we not venture to use military advancing in repulse of invasion. language in so far as to name that step a goose-step ?

The PROGRESSIVE OFFICER moreover avers that, several years ago, he bad pointed out in the Times that “ at the best, the Snider was only

MARS AGAINST BACCHUS. a makeshift ;” and adds : " That was in July, 1866, and here we are in August, 1870, with the

Rival hosts, avoid the Rhine ; question of a small-bore breechloader still unsettled, and the prospect of

Shun the region of the vine. further experiments, and consequently further delay, before anything is

Do not let your battle-plain done."

Be the district of champagne.

Ruin not, with shot and shell, If the question of a small-bore remains unsettled, the question of a

All our prospect of Moselle. great bore has been placed beyond doubt. It is evident that the Head at the administrative Head Quarters is wanting in brains; which is a

True, e'en though, in human shapes very great bore. Behind foreign troops in respect of his weapon, can

Fiends should devastate the grapes, even the British Grenadier be expected to stand before them in the

Something, yet, from vintner's shop, field ?

Will, at races, fizz and pop,
That shall ne'er be drink of mine,

Far be warfare from the Rhine.
INVADERS INVADED.
A CORRESPONDENT of the Constitutionnel, writing from Metz, makes
a remark about the Prussian troops which is rather ingenuous :-

Intelligent Animals. “It is true that when they penetrate anywhere they take everything, and

MRS. MALAPROP had no idea that the Monkeys in India were such live at the cost of other people. We learn this every moment from the unfor- clever and important creatures, until she heard MR. MALAPROP

read in tunate inhabitants of the frontier, who flock hither with the little property the paper that "The natives of Bengal intend to send an influential they have been able to save, and not only do the Prussians lay violent hands Baboon to England to advocate the cause of the natives."

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