Page images

ANATHEMA SIT. (See the Canones de Ecclesiá, published in the Times of

Thursday, February 10th,
AIR—“ A Hunting We will Go."
The new-cast canons of the Church,

To load and fire, be bold;
And prove they 'll shoot as straight and far

As e'er they shot of old.
As we have power to canonise

The Church's Saints on high,
So, Church's sinners we have power
To doom to endless fry!
Then a-cursing we will go, my boys,

A-cursing we will go !
If any

man denies the rights
Of Holy Roman Church,
And holds that stain of any sin

Its head or limbs can smirch ;
If any man from any faith

But ours hope Christian seed,
Or Christian fruit, on branch or root-
Let him be double-d'd!

And a-cursing let us go, my boys,

A-cursing let us go!
Whoso maintains that Faith or Works

Salvation can command,
For sinners who beyond the pale

Of Holy Church may stand;
Whoso contends that Holy Church

Can err in will or deed,
That there are sins Priests cannot purge-
Let him be double-d'd!

Then a-cursing let us go, my boys,

A-cursing let us go!
Whoe'er maintains that Holy Church

Can go astray at all-
pervert from its ancient rule,

Or into darkness fall;
That Pope or Priest, by evil life

May nullify his creed,
And prove blind guide of blinded flocks-
Let him be double-d'd!

And a-cursing let us go, my boys,

A.cursing let us go!
Whoe'er denies that Holy Church

By right divine holds rule,
O'er consciences and coin of men,

Bodies and souls to school;
That PETER is the Church's head,

The Popes his lineal breed,
Viceroys of Heaven to bind and loose-
Let him be double-d’d!
And a-cursing let us go, my boys,

A-cursing let us go!
Whoe'er supports a Public power

On which the Church may frown,
Or sets not, jure ecclesiæ,

Tiara over Crown;
Who bolds that Church's law and State's

To divers ends can lead,
Or that this doth not rest on that-
Let him be double-d'd!

And a-cursing let us go, my boys,

A-cursing let us go!
Whoever dares to feast or fast

Save as Church fasts or feasts ;
Whoever dares to call bis soul

Ilis own, and not his Priest's;
Whoever does, or says, or thinks,

Save as Church has decreed,
Per Canones Ecclesiæ-
Let him be double-d'd!

Then a-cursing let us go, my boys,
A-cursing let us go!



ROCHEFORT IN HIS PLACE. M. ROCHEFORT is not the right man in the right place. M. ROCHEFORT is in prison-he ought to be elsewhere. A telegram from Paris, the other day, told us that:

“ M. ROCHEFORT has written a letter to M. SCHNEIDER, proposing that the Ministry should be impeached for inciting to civil war."

Instead of being immured in a French prison, M. ROCHEFORT ought now to be figuring in a British theatre. The

face of M. ROCHEFORT should be overlaid with white paint, patched and streaked with scarlet. His eyebrows should be enlarged, and his head crowned with a coxcomb. His attire should consist of a frock and knickerbockers of motley, clocked stockings, and red-morocco shoes. Thus equipped and embellished for the excitement of mirth, M. ROCHEFORT should be engaged nightly at one of the theatres in affording amusement to the youthful part of his spectators, in particular making a point, when collared in a streetrow, of upbraiding the police with having

created the disturbance.

“I do the wrong, and first begin to brawl," -says SHAKSPEARE'S Richard III., and so M. ROCHEFORT might say if he were a person of Richard's dramatic dignity ; but, being what he is, he would act more in character with himself by playing another character, and in the language of that character, at one of the stage wings, taunting a guardian of the public peace with the cry of “Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, naughty Bobby!” round a corner.

[blocks in formation]

A NEW ANNIVERSARY. (NOT A VICTORY.)–Wednesday, February 16th. The Battle of WATERLOW!

[blocks in formation]


any. way against the bidding of their unreasoning incli

nations. If it could, and the House of Commons would LDERMAN Cowen, the pass an Act to abolish all those female disabilities, poor

other day, presented Paterfamilias would immediately have the pleasure of
to the House of Com seeing his wife and daughters, habitually independent of
mons a petition from cabs, walking to the theatres and to evening parties as the
Newcastle-on-Tyne, Pall Mall suggested the other day, in sensible short
“to remove the disa dresses and mud-proof goloshes of India-rubber.
bilities of women.” It
is to be wished the
House of Commons


Women are subject to disabilities The following paragraph, extracted from a contempoother than political; rary, must be supposed to have originally appeared in an and what a blessing | American paper :

it would be for them, fal

and those who are Afteen and seventeen years old, completed on the 17th of January

A MATCH.—Two daughters of a thrifty farmer in Illinois, charged with them, the task of walking eighty miles within twenty consecutive hours especially for men of for a prize of 100 dollars. They had one hour and thirty minutes moderate circumstan- to spare." ces in the higher and middle classes, if Par- Never be satisfied with driving your nail through your liament could remove board ever so far. Clinch it. The statement that two those! The Pope is girls under eighteen walked eighty miles within twenty often ridiculed for his hours running (as we may say without Irishism) is a good continual use of an whack with the hammer. The assertion that they had expression declaring one hour and thirty minutes to spare is a clincher. disability in the sense One would like to know the name of the "thrifty farmer of inability; want of in Illinois” whose daughters are said, as above, to have power to do a thing. shown themselves such wonderful pedestrians. But women in general If they are truly said to have done so, and take after (not you, sweet rea- their father, he is appropriately named if the name he bears ders,) are in the habit, is that which was borne by the author of the Pronouncing much more frequently and the Rhyming Dictionary. It is a name which, at any than his Holiness is, rate, the foregoing story of a long walk will have occaof saying non possu- sioned many men to pronounce on reading it-WALKER. mus. "I can't take exercise.” "I can't touch that horrid me

A Long Step in the Right Road. dicine." I can't go about in those old things." "I can't dress under so much a year.

“I can't do without a carriage." I can't live any longer in this house." Punch begs leave to congratulate the Right HonourI can't manage without so many servants." "I can't eat this." "I can't drink able W. E. FORSTER on his bold, wise, and comprehensive that." "I can't do”-anything whatever that implies the least degree of self- Education Bill. He has taken a longer stride, by that Bill, command. Unhappily no legislation can relieve women of their most grievous towards securing the schooling of every child in England disabilities; those which all come under the general head of disability to act in than two leagues--or seven leagues either.

[ocr errors]


[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

the "


LITERARY SMASHERS. The lively Correspondent of the Post at Rome, describing certain ANOTHER villainous case of word-coining is reported from America. ecclesiastical evolutions performed by the Fathers on their way to the A person there is spoken of as having "suicided." The coiner of this Council

, presents us with the following brilliant sketch in pen-and- verb no doubt belongs to the vile gang who lately issued the word ink :

burgle,” meaning to commit a burglary, and the still more hideous

terms “Groups are thus formed of endless variety, both as to attitude, expres- suffered to pass current in the States. In the same false mint,, we

excurted” and “injuncted,” which have recently been sion, and colour, for the flaming Cardinal kneels down (on

a cushion presented doubt not, have been coined such words as “cabled," Wired, chin (on the bare stones), and a gorgeous Nestorian, with pictured robe and nated;" deputated," " interviewed,” “ orated,” “reliable," "rendiflowing locks, groups well with a Hungarian patriarch, a couple of French tion," "walkist,” “eatist," and the like, with which the Queen's English bishops, and an Irish Dominican abbot.”

has lately been in Yankeeland defaced. Such wretched counterfeits as

these for genuine sterling English are, with scarcely an exception, first This is a vivid picture, and comprises one peculiarly striking object: attered in the newspapers;

and if editors declined to pay for any article gorgeous Nestorian.” He is a lion indeed, a lion lying down wherein they detected this false coinage, the literary smashers would with lambs, unless he may rather be considered a wolf in the fold, but be literally smashed. then how can the sheep-dogs let him remain there ? Perhaps, however, the Nestorians, heretics ever since the fifth century, have quietly renounced their heresy within the last few months, and squared it with

NEW STYLE. the Holy See.

The Times, in its notice of MR. BELLEW's Hamlet (to which Mr.

Punch heartily wishes much success), has the following remark: A Lesson for Ireland.

“There are so many persons in this country who run after everything SOME ignorant Irish, old England to fire,

theatrical, save a theatre itself

, that this approximation to a theatre, Elected O'DONOVAN Rossa, ESQUIRE ;

which may be compared to the position of an asymptotic curve, may But this Fenian bold is a felon de se,

prove powerfully attractive to a large class.”
And, civilly dead, has no life as M.P.

“An asymptotic curve !"
'Tis a maxim, the truth whereof each one allows here,
That you can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear:

If this sort of writing is coming into vogue, it will be necessary for us
Of a similar truth, too, there needs no debater,

all to go through a course of mathematics before attempting to master

the dramatic criticisms in the papers. That you can't make an M.P. out of a traitor.

A Liberal Measure.

An Uncertain Title. MR. PLIMSOLL, M.P., wishes to compel all Railway Companies to So confused and complicated were the interests involved in the provide hot-water bottles for Third Class passengers. À working man, recent litigation about the revenues of St. Paul's School, founded by not yet in Parliament, says that he would move as an amendment, that Dean COLET, that it had at last come to be described as the What-dʼyeafter the word “hot” be inserted the word “ brandy."

Colet foundation.

a disease! As an acute Guardian said, " for a Doctor to give such a LA MODE AND LA MISERE.

certificate was no better than washing his hands of the patient altoHUNGRY reader-still more, cold and hungry reader-if Punch counts gether" and flinging him “dead” on the rates.

Ah-there's the rub! There wouldn't be so much harm if the among his readers any so vulgar as to be cold and hungry, would you doctor would only wait till the pauper's dead before flinging him. be comforted! Read here--and warm yourself in the winter garments But unfortunately you can't always hit it so exactly as you did in the of your betters.

case of JOHN SUTTON, where the man died within eight hours of his La Misère, allow me to introduce you to La Mode!

admission to the House, and never cost the parish a meal. The St.
“Toilettes de visite appear to have arrived at the last stage of magni- Pancras Doctor needn't be in such a hurry-if he wasn't bent on
ficence, the richest stuffs being now garnished with the richest trimmings. spiting the guardians !
Take, for instance, a robe of golden brown velvet, and warm grey satin made
with a long train au manteau de cour, the satin jupe having two flounces
coquillés, the uppermost of satin trimmed with a delicate interlacing passe-

menterie, the lower one of velvet edged with a gathered border of black lace.
The velvet train is trimmed all round with bands of rich passementerie, that

It seems that a jackdaw in ecclesiastical peacock's feathers has gradually widen towards its extremity, headed by ruches of grey satin."

really, by the complicity of a Roman tailor, contrived to creep into the

Ecumenical Council. Who is he? Perhaps some contemporary's Or this,

Own Correspondent. Having been found out, he was sent to prison, " An equally elegant costume is in violet velvet and satin of a lighter shade, where he remains. Suppose he is a British subject. Shall we have to the under jupe of velvet being trimmed round the bottom with a deep entredeux fit out an expedition for his release, dealing with Pro Nono as we of black velvet on white satin, bordered above and below by a floss silk fringe. dealt with THEODORE ? We could do it without fear of an European The upper jupe à traine is in satin, and raised at the sides behind coques of war. NAPOLEON would be only too glad of an excuse for leaving the violet velvet and black lace. Long basques trimmed with rouleaux of velvet; POPE to fight any battles which he might provoke as a king by the together at their ends, follow the sweep of the train. The tight sleeves have exercise of his temporal sovereignty over representatives of foreign puffs on the shoulders and slashes of white satin veiled with blaok lace."

Powers. Nor need a Roman expedition cost the Income Tax payer ten

millions. We might make it pay its expenses by plundering the Is it possible you are still sad and sick and shivering ? Then put Vatican. this on your back and warm you:

But “No Admittance Except on Business" is the rule at the Papal “One toilette, entirely of velvet of a warm violet shade, is made with a short Council; and his HOLINESS has a right to enforce it. And should we jacket bordered with chinchilla fur, a band of which is arranged to form a small say that a Briton is everywhere Civis Romanus, the Holy Father may simulated pelerine behind. The cuffs of the tight-fitting under-sleeves, shut us up as well as our countryman. He can say that he perfectly together with the openings of the loose hanging sleeves, which droop almost agrees with us, regards that prying British subject precisely as a level with the knees, are trimmed en suite. The perfectly plain tunic has a Roman Citizen; and has served him accordingly. Which nobody can fur border, and the under jupe bas a deep band of fur some few inches from deny. the bottom. A velvet muff bound with fur and a velvet toque trimmed with a grey feather, secured with a large gold buckle, complete a costume the elegance of which rivals its simplicity. A toilette in Carmelite velvet,

trimmed with twisted silk cord, the under jupe of which has a deep flounce
with heading, has its upper jupe raised at the sides by interlacing cords and ILL-served Lib'ral cause! Who in Southwark has brought her low?
tassels ; while the jacket, which is open behind to accommodate the slight Settle it, ODGER, between you and WATERLOW.
bouffante, has a couple of pointed basques falling down rather low in front and Who to LAYARD's old home brought a high Tory lodger ?
a vaporous-looking lace frill at its open collar."

Settle it, WATERLOW, 'tween you and ODGER.
There! Isn't that nice wearing!

Punch won't judge betwixt you, which should have giv'n way,

But, that one of you should have, is clear as the day.
And as one good turn deserves another,

If 'twas WATERLOW, hang him, a selfish old codger !
Let me next introduce La Mode to La Misère, a seasonable ac-

If it wasn't, then all I've to say is, haug ODGER.
quaintance in this fine bracing weather.

At pelting the pair Punch will join in a breather,

But it's not fair to fling all the dirt upon either.
Here is an inquest at Charing Cross Hospital] last Wednesday, on
JOHN SUTTON, aged fifty-three, coach-wheelwright, sober and industrious
-out of employment the last four months-supported a sister while
in work-nothing to eat for the last few weeks but dry bread and

weak tea, procured by pledging clothes and furniture. MARY LOVE- “ A new weekly Journal is announced - The Knife and Fork-to be con-
LAND, a widow, called on the brother and sister last Thursday-seeing ducted by ‘Fin-Bec,' the Author of The Epicure & Year Book.""
the man was ill for want of food, she asked the parish doctor to come
to him. Doctor's assistant came and saw him, and said he had better have a little more information about this new Magazine for our table.

A PIECE of news that makes the mouth water, but we should like to come into the house on the following day... But the story loses by con- Will The Knife and Fork appear with plates ? If so, how many cuts densation. Let MARY LOVELAND tell it "to the bitter end,” in her will each number contain ? Will it be published in the Edgware Road ? own way :

“FIN-BEC” is a man to play a capital Knife and Fork, and knows how
“At the request of the assistant she went in the afternoon to the surgery to handle his sub thoroughly well, so we may expect from him a
of the workhouse for some medicine, when she told the doctor the man was perfect feast of good things, served up in first-rate style, for which
dying for want of food, and asked him to give her an order for some beef-tea we shall be very willing to fork out any reasonable sum. But is there
or some oatmeal. He said there was no oatmeal in the house, but made no not a rival in the dining-room, in the Food Journal advertised as also
remark about the beef-tea. He said the deceased had better come to the
house the next morning. He did not say anything about sending a conveyance.

about to appear ?
On Friday morning the deceased had a small piece of dry bread to eat, and at
11 o'clock he left home with witness and his sister to go to the workhouse. He

had got but a little way, when he fell down in the street insensible, and was
taken to the hospital in a cab by a policeman. The cab-fare was paid by MR. WITH ice-bergs floating down the Thames in February, after a
RICHARDS, a draper in Ann Street, who saw the deceased fall. MR. MITCHELL, cloudy Candlemas Day, we must modify the old Leonine verses relative
house-surgeon, said deceased was admitted into the hospital about 12 o'clock to that festival, and may say :-
on Friday morning last. He was insensible, and in a most exhausted state.
Every attention was paid to him, but he never rallied, and died at 10 o'clock

Sol se condebat, Maria purificante ; in the evening. The result of a post mortem examination showed that

Nec minor est glacies post festum quàm fuit ante. deceased was suffering from inflammation of the lungs, the other organs being healthy. There was no food in the stomach, nor a particle of fat on the We may also reform our old vernacular doggerel on the same subject, body, which was much emaciated. The want of food and exposure to the as thus : cold had accelerated the inflammation of the lungs, which was the immediate

Last Candlemas Day was dark and foul, cause of death. After some deliberation, the following verdict was returned :

But the winter by no means did go last Yule, -"That the deceased died from inflammation of the lungs, produced by ex

If Candlemas Day should be bright and clear,
posure to the cold and the want of food."

That may or may not be the case next year.
This is one of four inquests in the same coroner's district on the
same day, ending in effect in the same concise verdict: “Death from
want of food, and privation.” And there has been no day this last

A Good Round Sum.
week without several such inquests.

A GENTLEMAN has offered a bet of £500 that the earth is not rotund, No wonder the St. Pancras Guardians the other day got angry with as it is generally supposed to be in the best circles, a Fellow of the the aggravating medical man who would persist in giving the sick Geographical Society has accepted it, and “the editor of an old estabpoor certificates of “exhaustion from want of food.” As if that was lished London paper has been chosen umpire.”The Globe, of course.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors][ocr errors]


[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]


« PreviousContinue »