Le Follet this month, discoursing of ladies' dresses, more than once mentions "the body." It also refers to a "Marie Antoinette." Does that mean a body without a head? In detailing the "Fashions for February" Le Follet also, with respect to part of a ball-dress, states that : "A pouff of white tulle, very bouffant at the waist, is held up by a wreath of flowers matching those on the front." Pouff! Bouffant! Pouff, pouff, pouff! What, have our fair friends taken to wearing windbags? Eh, THOMAS DE CHELSEA? Why, the fashions are airier than ever! Finally, Le Follet announces that : "Black velvet has been much worn." THE PERILS OF PENMANSHIP. WHAT a Paradise must Swansea be for little boys-at least, if all the schools there are so careful of their infant prodigies as this!"SCHOLASTIC.-At the old Swansea Academy Juniors, two to seven or eight years of age, will be taught writing with soft quill pens; thus avoiding wearisome muscular pressure, and galvanic, paralysing effects on the infant nerve." " The infant nerve must be in a singular condition if quill pens are essential to prevent its being paralysed. We shall be careful not to let this notion creep into our nursery, or MASTER JACKY will pretend he is galvanically shocked whenever a steel penholder is put into his hand; and MASTER FREDDY will be feigning to be stricken by paralysis when his writing lesson comes on, and his pen first makes a stroke. FEBRUARY 12, 1870.] RATHER AWKWARD. [Tableau. Too Candid Young Hopeful. "OH, BUT I DO, THOUGH! YOU'RE THE CHAP MA' SAYS WOULD BE SUCH A GOOD CATCH FOR OUR MARY!" Eligible Young Bachelor (making call). "WELL, MASTER FRED, YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM." PLEASANTRY FOR THE SERIOUS PRESS. IN these times of clerical controversy, it is really something as pleasant as it is new to see the Greek ARCHBISHOP OF SYRA AND TENOS fraternising with our own Archbishops and Clergy. His Oriental Holiness actually went to Church the other day at York Minster, attended by an Archimandrite and a Deacon of his own cloth, and accompanied by the ARCHBISHOP OF YORK, and the Dean and Chapter. The Rock and the Record people, indeed, may have shaken their heads when they read that: "At the usual time for the afternoon service a procession from the vestry was formed, in which the Greek Archbishop assumed his vestments.". This demonstration perhaps appeared to our Protestant contemporaries to savour somewhat of Ritualism. But they were doubtless reassured on further reading that, when the service was over :"The procession was then reformed." Not only was the Greek Archbishop reformed, but the whole of the procession, inclusive of English clergy too. There! Is not that a triumph for the principles of the Reformation? A GUSH OF ELOQUENCE. "The League asked the Government to advance a million or two, not in money, but in kind-in passage tickets to take the emigrants and their families across the ocean, in food, and in tools until they could earn their own living, and repay the loans made to them. He believed that if they gave free pasfailed to find hundreds and thousands willing to go, the work of the League sages and six months' subsistence to emigrant families, from £15 to £20 per head would be ample to clinch the bargain, and if with such inducements they would be done, and their consciences cleared on that matter."-Torrens at the THERE was once a great Irish orator called FLOOD. There is one now called TORRENS, which is Latin for Torrent. No wonder we should be drifting towards a great Emigration scheme, when we may say, with VIRGIL, "Dat sonitum saxis et toto vortice TORRENS." "Here's TORRENS going in a header for it." Unless, indeed, the of the slow progress of subscription to the League funds, it looks first half of the line is to outweigh the second, and TORRENS, for all rather like it. the noise he makes, is only talking to stones. From what we hear A PARSON was twitted with taking too long a time over his white tie while dressing." It is my duty," he answered, "to attend most carefully to my fold." Startling Antiquarian Fact for all True Lovers.-St. Valentine was a Bishop in partibus Infidelium! CONUNDRUM FOR COUNTRY GENTLEMEN.-When is a fox-hunter like a diver? When he gets his purl. THE BEADLES AT BRUSSELS. (Recitation in Character at a Town-Hall.) My friends and fellow-townsmen, thus before you I appear The King and Queen of the Belgiums be-eld the werry sight, In Lord-Lieutenant's uniforms some Westrymen showed fine, The "Rag and Famish" must be proud to reckon, if it can, A bucket on my breast, as now, my nostrils did regale, And sitch was our excitement that it hevery cheek made flush, A gentle presparation caused our faces hall to beam, I busted through the circle and I kissed the Royal 'and, Fust on the Monarch's one and then upon his t'other boot. And arter that I thought I wouldn't wash my mouth no more, The ommedge I had gone and done the Belgiums King and Queen. One drop of bitters only I had mingled with the sweet; I'd got a pair of new shoes on, too tight, as pinched my feet; TABLES TURNED. MR. PURCHAS, the Brighton Professor of Ritualism, has come off victorious as far as the Vestments are concerned. He has been condemned in costs. Now must come the reprisals, for if words have any meaning, then "shall be had in use," and "shall be retained" make the wearing of such vestments as were in use in the second year of EDWARD THE SIXTH, not only not matter of choice or permissible, but actually compulsory. The next step will evidently be a series of actions brought by Ritualists against the Evangelicals for not comply. ing with the law. "See how these Christians love one another!" Can't they leave one another alone-surely there's room for all? VOTING BY ELECTRICITY. SOMEBODY in Germany has invented a machine for enabling men in Parliament to vote as quick as lightning : "A sort of lever, resembling the lengthened hand of a clock, is placed behind the seat of each deputy. By means of a key which every ember receives at the beginning of the session, the hand can be directed to Yes or 'No' as soon as the President puts the question. The electrical apparatus is worked by one of the ushers of the house by means of a handle." This is certainly ingenious, and would save much loss of time in taking a division, to say nothing of the nuisance of the scrambling to the lobbies, which it likewise would prevent. But the instrument would surely be enormously improved, if connecting wires were laid to the houses of the Members, who might thereby be relieved from their attendance at the House. What a blessing it would be for Gentlemen of England to sit at home at ease, and telegraph to London how they voted as M.P.'s! How short would be the speeches, when nobody could be spoken to, except perhaps the Speaker! What a world of words and worry would be annually saved, it Members were enabled to vote by electricity, without assembling at St. Stephen's to hear speeches which by no chance ever influence a vote! P. A. TAYLOR v. ENTAILERS. WE always thought MR. P. A. TAYLOR one of the most magnanimous of men. The landlords of England ought really to be very thankful to him. In a speech at Leicester, the other day, he informed his constituents : "He would not wholly abolish property in land." This is very kind of MR. P. A. TAYLOR. We are bound to say that he adds, "but he would not allow it to remain in a family." He could hardly be expected to do THAT. The great point is, that he does not abolish landed property all together. Sub Jove Concilium. THE Cardinal Legates superintending the Roman Council complain that, notwithstanding the obligation of the "Pontifical Secret," the substance of the speeches made, and of the business transacted in that assembly, has appeared in the newspapers. Does not his Holiness wish the Pontifical was as well kept as the Masonic Secret? The Freemasons, whom he has condemned so frequently, could tell the Holy Father the reason why his secret gets divulged." His Lodge, the Council Hall, is not tiled. A VERY INSTRUCTIVE LESSON. THE Ritual Commission has been revising the Church Lessons. They should add to the number DR. TEMPLE'S elevation to the Bench, and the way it has been received by the laity on the one hand, and the clergy on the other. |