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“A Most BECOMING WREATH, MY LADY !-ALLOW ONE OF MY YOUNG PERSONS TO PUT IT ON. THERE ! YOU CAN NOW SEE HOW
WELL IT WOULD BECOME YOUR LADYSHIP !"
NEW CAB REGULATIONS.
THIS IS TO GIVE NOTICE. FURTHER improvements in our Street Cabs are understood to be IN "Evenings from Home” last week, in the course of an account contemplated at Scotland Yard, and the Home Office. The following of Chilpéric at the Lyceum, the name of the popular French dance are a few of them :
cancan vas spelt cançan; that is, with the cedilla, instead of without it. 1. The Tickets to be printed on toned paper, and scented like play- humour which only one enlightened person discovered (and be proudly
This was no clerical error, but was intended to convey a profundity of bills. When presenting them to ladies, Cabmen always to wear gloves wrote to say so)--that the cancan is so much softened doron at the -white Berlin in Summer, buff dogskin in Winter.
2. Foot-warmers to be provided in cold weather. Sunblinds to be Lyceum as to merit the order of the Cedilla. In fact it is a drawingaffixed to the windows. The floor to be covered with a handsome said-ahem !), and it would be well if, henceforth, without further ex
room Cancan (we hope it is drawing without the room, as SHERIDAN carpet. 3. Cabmen to supply themselves with the daily papers and weekly words cancar and cançan, as respectively
expressing the impropriety or
planation, theatrical advertisements, or notices, should adopt the two comic periodicals for the accommodation of passengers; but not to the propriety of the celebrated French dance. demand more than the stated prices.
4. At the annual inspection, Cabmen to appear in their best clothes, with boots nicely blacked, and a flower in the button-hole. 5. Cabmen to be encouraged to mount flags of elegant shape and
ALL WELL EMPLOYED. æsthetic design, and to wear ornamental badges on their persons. Decorative patterns to be prepared by the Students at South Ken. His colleagues, it is understood have been similarly occupied.
MR. GLADSTONE, we are told, has been felling timber in the recess. sington. 6. When Children are carried, Cabmen always to assist them to
MR. LOWE has been cutting down the Estimates. alight, and to be very particular with the baby.
LORD CLARENDON has been lopping off excrescences in the Foreign 7. Every Cabman to be provided with a Map of London and Department. MURRAY'S Handbook for the information of foreigners, and each Stand
MR. CHILDERS has been hewing away at the Staff of the Dockto have at least one Cab with a driver familiar with the French Language.
yards. 8. In case of a dispute as to the legal fare, the Cabman not to be
The LORD CHANCELLOR has been busy amongst the branches of his allowed to remain out in the cold, but to be asked into the Hall, and profession. offered a seat. One of the boys always loitering about in the streets,
MR. CARDWELL has been retrenching. to be employed to stand at the horse's head while the driver is in the Ministers, Mr. Punch hopes, have been busy rooting up abuses.
MR. AYRTON has been
using the pruning-knife; and the whole of doors. Boys engaged in this service will be required to wear a badge or plate in their caps, on which a reasonable charge is to be legibly inscribed, either in black letters on a white ground, or in white letters on a black ground.
One Good Turn Deserves Another. 9. MR. BRUCE, COLONEL HENDERSON, and Mr, Punch always to ride free.
Jay.cs CLIFFORD, a clever ex-artilleryman, has been sentenced to two years' imprisonment for an offence well'known to the Criminal
Courts in old days, but new in our own, "sweating" sovereigns. He INSTANCES OF WRETCHED LEGISLATION.-Our Por Laws. might plead "reciprocity." Don't the sovereigns sweat us?
Fifth Bath Day.- Der andere Mann is in the bath every day. I hear MORE HAPPY THOUGHTS.
him. I never see him. He comes in either just before me, or just after
me, and leaves in the same relative proportion of time. What can you do in a bath? How slowly the time goes ! Forty minutes in 26° Réaumur. You can't read with comfort. You can't
Happy Thought.—The Bathing Box and Cox. Similar in situation, talk, unless to yourself, which is, I believe, the sure forerunner of except that we never meet anywhere. I discover that this is one con him, if you’re acquainted; but even then your conversation is heard are the only two remaining to bathe in the New Baths. Other bathers byf everybody else. No, it's the sulphur silent system and water. go to the Kaiserbad, or to other springs ; for there are sulphur springs But one can't positively lose forty minutes of the day. What can one everywhere in, out of, and round and about Aix,
Sunday.--Visit the Cathedral in the morning. It is crammed full, Happy Thought.-Think.
as, by the way, are all the Churches, apparently at any hour, in Aachen. just as well out of the bath; better. Might learn German in my bath. It ise Theory of Origination. It comes to me all at once. It will This reminds me of the celebrated Parrot. Besides you can think I am here struck by a most
Tremendous Happy Thought.-A new idea for POPGOOD AND GROOLLY. Might, and also mightn't.
The Bath is a good place for "wondering.” You can wonder what astonish Colenso, upset DESCARTES, scatter Darwinian theories, and good it will do you! Wonder what's the matter with you?
Wonder perhaps create an entire revolution in philosophy and science. who's in the next bath? Wonder what the time is? Wonder, if Happy Thought.-Perhaps become a Heresiarch. New sect : Happy you had a fit, whether you'd be able to seize the bell in time? Wonder Thinkers, not Free-Thinkers. Be condemned by the Pope, be collated if it isn't all humbug? Wonder if it is ? Wonder if the Bath-man (or something, whatever it is) by the ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY, flew at you with a knife and attacked you, what chance you'd have? denounced by the Chief Imaum, held up to execration by DR. ADLER Wonder if you might sleep in the bath? Wonder what possible and the principal Rabbis, pronounced contumacious by the Alexpleasure the Romans found in always bathing ? &c., &c., &c. andrine Patriarch, and be anathematised as dangerous by the
The Bath-man suddenly looks in. “Time," he says, as if I were Grand Lama of Thibet; and, finally, the Book placed on the Index
Book, just published, on the Index. Might get Typical Developments He understands me. I am sure there is nothing like dashing boldly on the Index; and then, if both could be excluded from MUDIE'S into a language.
Circulating Library, its fortune and mine, and POPGOOD AND The gentleman either in the bath next mé, or a few doors off, doesn't GROOLLY's, would be made. find any difficulty in amusing himself in the bath. I never heard such Happy Thought.-Write to them, or telegraph at once. Shall give a row as he makes. He sings snatches of songs, chiefly Operatic, and up my baths, and run over to England. Tell DOCTOR CASPAR SO. He never correct, in a stentorian voice. Wish I conld silence him. I now says, "No; on no account. We must get it out of you.” I tell him have something to do in my bath; to silence this dreadfal noise. I feel that it is coming out of me: apparently in the shape of a new
The question is, hasn't a man a right to do what he likes in his own heresy, but I don't add this. bath? Yes. If I may think, he may sing; but, on the other hand[I always like to put the other side of the question fairly to myself: by the way, I generally see the other side better than my own) he may not
DR, MANNING'S FAITH PILL. sing to the obvious prevention of my thinking. My thinking doesn't interfere with anybody; his singing does. Stop, though; if I interfere
(Warranted Infallible.) now, the result of my thinking is evidently that I do interfere with his singing. This assumes quite a casuistical appearance. He is beginning
Says DOCTOR MANNING, in rebuke of Reason, an air from Norma that I know by heart. When I say singing, I mean
Appeal to History
from the Pope is treason. roaring. He gets to the seventh bar, and then pauses, evidently in
All's Gospel that a Pontiff ever said, doubt.
But so as the live POPE explains the dead.
Say the dead POPE said two and two make five, Happy Thought.--To finish it for him.
The live Pope says, “Read four.” Believe the live. I do so, with diffidence, and not so loudly as he has been giving it. Suppose a Council e'er called something white, Pause. This will evidently lead to a struggle, unless he has caved in He rules they named it black, and he is right; at the first shot from my battery-I should say, bath-ery. I am And when he's dead he'll still be never wrong, allowed to think in peace for about a minute. Then he breaks out Though the next Pope say “ 'Twas white all along." again. I believe he has been collecting a répertoire during the silence.
Rule inexpugnable, which supersedes "Voici le sabre, le sabre, le sabre!!" &c. He gets into difficulties at All formularies, articles, and creeds, the high part-about the fourteenth bar, I should say.
Thus summed. Inquiring minds, no longer search Happy Thought.-His weakness is my opportunity. I come in at the To know what doctrines holds the Roman Church. T. finish, whistling this time. Without waiting, he begins, " Ah, que The papal judgment nothing can deceive; j'aime les Militaires ! ”
Whate'er the existing POPE believes, believe. Happy Thought.-- Puzzle him. Sing the quick movement in Itarismo
To him submit your intellect and will; in Algeria, slightly adapted by myself, on the spur of the moment, to
vive him a blank cheque on your faith, to fill, the occasion.
And cash it when presented, any day, He now sings Largo al factotum hoarsely, but not merrily; for I Explicitly, or else as best you may. detect a certain ferocity in his voice. I must be careful; because, if he is a Prussian officer, he will call me out when he meets me outside. Happy Thought.-Can say what the Clown does when he's caught
There's Life in the old Doctor yet. by a shopkeeper, "Please, Sir, twasn't me." Bath-man appears with towels.
LIVINGSTONE cut up and burnt for a wizard! Punch doesn't believe "Fünf Minuten,” says he. I should say rather say it was ; twenty, second edition of the Doctor's melancholy catastrophe. No; the
a word of it. He's no more cut up than SIR RODERICK is at this five minutes, more likely. "Towel : nice varm,” he continues, and Doctor will survive the Congo witchfinders, as he has survived the having dried me carefully in one, he wraps me in another, and leaves Mavite marauders; and expose the lies of the Portuguese traders as me. Classic dress this. Think of SOCRATES. The Singing Man has worth two dead men yet, and will comport itself as a Living-Stone
he has those of the Johanna men. Depend upon it, a Living-Stone is hollosed for the bath-attendant, and is evidently preparing to leave. should-survive to write its own epitaph.
Happy Thought.-Ring for Bath-man, and (after consulting Conversation-Book and combining my question) ask him who the singing bather is. Can't find " singing in Conversation-Book. I find "a
Two Lines. i.e., ein Lied. Der Herr is "the gentleman.” Happy 1 hought.-Recollect having seen in playbills the part of so
(On Comparing * Foici le Sabre” with " Draw the Sward, Scotland.") and-So, Mr. Blank (with a song). That's the idea. The Bath-man
THE Tunes that Offenbach so sweetly sings, enters. “You ring?”
Bring often back some old familiar things. "Yah. Wer ist der Herr mit ein Lied?”
Triumph! only I wish he wouldn't answer me in German. However, I make out that he doesn't know. He merely speaks of him as
TWO JOLLY IMMORTALS. “Der andere Mann ;” that is, with a concession to my language, "the In City Articles the newspapers frequently observe that " other man. There are two men, then, in the bath; one is myself, tight.” When that is so we may suppose that Plutus has been hoband the other is Der andere Mann,
nobbing with Bacchus.