ROME AND RAMSBOTHAM. DEAR MR. PUNCH, NOTHING has perspired since my last, and so as a means of amusement and destruction, I have been getting my niece, JULIA to read to me the history of the earliest Consuls of the Church. For the benefit of your readers I have made some notes while JULIA was doing this, which I will send to you, adding them to the present letter, in which I must, however, first dilute upon what is going on here. By the way, in my last I made some illusions to what the Riddle Commission is doing at home. I do hope, even if they touch the Dictionary, that they'll let alone the Colics. It seems to me they are sapling the pillows of the great cambric of truth. But to return. The Economical Consul is still the centaur of detraction here, and will be for some time. The Consul of Trent sat for nearly eighteen years; how stiff they must have been! There are (this will infest many of your High Church friends) in Rome, now, several English Clergymen of the Ulster-riddle party, who have asked for a decision on the question of the rightfulidity (I think that's it) of their orders. I met one of them the other day and had a long barley with him on divers subjects, in which I had the best of it; for I pointed out to him that if this was resided against him and his party, he must leave the Protestant immunity and adopt the be, after all, only to escape Silly and fall into Cribbage." He seemed Roman Candlestick Greed; "Which," I said depressively, "would much struck, and went away: I have not seen him again. I showed this worthy clergyman (from my notes on JULIA's reading) what great deferences there were between us and the Romans. First.-I remonstrated to him that the Roman Candlesticks accept many more books than we do as comical. To which he replied, "that there was no cannon at all until after the respiration of three sentries," which seemed to me to be evading the subject we were disThe rule is that so many are set down to speak, but they stand up, point bank, how he could ever think of joining a Church which gusting, and so I told him. He couldn't answer me, when I asked him, and speak without being set down. A Carnaval subsides in the chair, and rings a bell when he doesn't want anything, at least so I'm told. accepted the two books of Molasses as comical? He was dumbThis Carnaval, I fancy, is a Delicate-a-latterly. There will be concus-foundled, and put his handkerchief to his face; poor fellow, he was sions on the POPE'S Syllabub and Bicycle-quite "wheels within so afflicted, but I couldn't help following up my attack. wheels," as the prophet says. "What!" said I, from my hysterical notes on JULIA's reading, noble Englishmen who, during the last General Consul held at Trent "MR. DOTTS, would you stupefy the acts of your four fathers? Those in the Saveloy, preached the Glorious Defamation, and who with MARTHA LUTHER (after whom the Luther Arcade in London, was called), GALVIN (the discoverer of galvinism and other eccentricities; we owe the eccentric telegraph to him), CRAMMER, Archbishop of Canonbury, RIDLEMER and LATTERLY, and with other noble performers were either developed in flames, or managed to extinguish themselves nobly in the clause of truth?" He was quite overcome, and so was I by my exertion. I give you the account in Colenso, as the saying is, and remain, Yours sincerely, LAVINIA RAMSBOTHAM, Junior. Vacuum. CARNAVAL BARNABY is appointed chief of the Commissaries sitting on Rides and Cemeteries: he is instead of another Carnaval who is disappointed. Every day there is a great elastic fungus to be seen in some church or another, and on certain state occasions there are deceptions at the An eminent Dilatory, Roman Candlestick of course, has been telling me a great many things about their doctorings and cemeteries that I didn't know before: for instance, the POPE alone can grant indul gences, but he can't indulge himself without the permission of his Confectioner, for he goes to confection regularly, and oftener, like the poorest of them, and has to perform his pennants just the same. Also, they have seven Orders, where English Protestants have only three. Their orders are Bishops, Priests, Beacons, Exhausters (these are preachers, I suppose), Ostriches (same as our pew-openers, only men), Aconites (who hold candles), and Lictors. I think I've got 'em all correct, though I only quoit from memory. Then there are also the Mannikin Orders, but these are Monks and Fires. You recollect the "Fire of Orders Grey ?" That's it. There are various officious people connected with the Elastic State to whom one gets accustomed in Rome, if you decide here for any time. The Interior Clergy are divided into two glasses-the Regular (which I have mentioned before) and the Irregular, or the Sickly Clergy. The Sickly Clergy do the Parish work, and can live how they like; some live together in Immunities like the Omelettes of SAM CHARLES, or the Oratorios, of HANDEL I thought, until I heard they were SAM PHIPPS'S Oratorios. There are also the Knights Tumblers, and the Knights of Mortar, both millinery orders. There are Holy Fires of all sorts of colours, and I must not omit the Fires Minims with their peculiar crotchets, though all hold the same tenants. The Monks live in Monstrosities; and the Nuns are clustered. They are all very good people in their way, specially the Scissors of Charity, who attend the poor and the sick, and do everything "Connemara," as the Irish say. So, too, do the Scissors of Mersey, from Liverpool, I believe. Most of these aforesaid take oaths, but a great many don't take their oaths to anything. The music in the Roman churches in general is not of the flurried Italian, but most depressive. I don't like Gregarious Chance myself, as a rule, but sometimes they are very fine. Women's voices you don't hear here, but only those of male canisters, generally boys and men. The POPE's confident, I am told, is AUNT O'NELLY. I can't help fancying that I must have got this name wrong, as I also hear that AUNT O'NELLY is not only an Italian (which the name isn't), but also a Carnaval and a Beacon. This is very curious, but everything is full of such mistress here, that one is at one's wits ends to lather to the bottom of all one hears. When I know more of this, I'll tell you. I am promised an introduction to FATHER SICKY, who is the Great Astonisher here, as MR. HIND is at home. FATHER SICKY has a Conservatory ever so high up, and a magnificent stethescope for what my niece's husband calls Sky-entific matters. He has got a machine for stopping the earth's motion. FATHER SICKY (not a nice name) is spoken of here with much reference as the Great Astonisher, because of his star-telling denouncements. THE NEW MANCHESTER-SCHOOL-MASTERS. Of ancient" Protection's" adherents, new led THE FLORID STYLE. Is it vulgar to use the word "flowers" when you are speaking or writing about them? Must they only be indicated, not actually mentioned, as was once the case with trousers? It would seem so, from a correspondence which has been published on the subject of the money to be spent this year on flowers in the Parks. There are only two letters, and both together hardly make a dozen lines, yet in this little space we find the gentleman who writes to MR. AYRTON turning the phrases "the sums annually devoted to floral purposes in Victoria and Battersea Parks," and "the floral attractions of these popular places of resort; " and the gentleman who replies, by direction of MR. AYRTON, using, what is perhaps a still more elegant expression, "the floral arrangements in Battersea and Victoria Parks." We cannot help regretting that the trees and shrubs could not have been introduced into the correspondence, because of the fine opportunity, the writers would have had of speaking of arboricultural purposes, and "arboricultural attractions," and "arboricultural arrangements.' The Same Men, Other Minds. THE RIGHT HONOURABLE W. E. FORSTER, in his Bradford speech, pursuing JOHN BRIGHT's 'bus and cab metaphor, said that he had a great respect for "crawlers." 66 He had driven a 'crawler' himself in his time." W. E. FORSTER driving a crawler! That must have been when JOHN BRIGHT did not object to driving six 'busses abreast at Temple, or any other, Bar! IRRECONCILEABLE OPPOSITION. French Government is remarkable. The moment the latter ceased to I think it is this latter gentleman who has the derangement of the Roman Cullender, where there are Saints for every day in the year, and every other one as well. The Cullender (there is a CARNAVAL CULLEN, of Ireland, but I don't think he has anything to do with this), in Rome is the same as ours in England, being divided into four quarters, only that there is here another quarter, called the Jews' be personal, the former began. Quarter, but that's in Rome I mean, not in the Cullender. The Cullender, as one whole, is cleverly put together. THE BEST PLACE FOR A POLICE-OFFICE.-Beak Street. Elder of Twins. "IT'S VERY VULGAR TO SAY YOU BE BLOWED TO EACH OTHER, LIKE THOSE MEN DO. FRED?" Uncle Fred. "I BELIEVE IT IS GENERALLY CONSIDERED SO, MY DEAR!" Elder of Twins. "YES, INDEED! ETHEL AND I, YOU KNOW, WE ALWAYS SAY, "YOU BE BLOWN!" A BLESSING ON AN OLD BROOME. "SAMUEL BROOME, for forty years Gardener to the Honourable Society of the Inner Temple, whose Annual Chrysanthemum Show was one of the sights of London, and who, in their culture, gave such valuable testimony to the effects of LORD PALMERSTON'S Smoke Act, is dead, at a ripe old age. He lived respected, and he died happy."-Obituary of the Day. POOR Old BROOME, art thou gone! and shall we hear O'er the Chrysanthemums that were so dear They decked the Temple Garden's swarded floor! Like HENRY BROUGHAM, thy greater homonym, The stagnant, stifling, smoke-clouds, that made dim, And when the Smoke-Act passed-and on Thames stream Chimney-shafts ceased from sooty mouths to teem Never was simple man more glad than thou, Pleased to see pleas'd crowds round thy pompons bow, Along Thames bank thy blooms stood brave and bold, And if thy flowers were flowers of gold, ISN'T IT, UNCLE So innocent none grew from Temple mould, How oft, when Autumn daylight in the West Pale cheeks and aching brows thy flowers have blest, Farewell to thee, kind, honest, old SAM BROOME, GETTING ON. "Church of St. Paul, Lorrimore Square, Walworth. Dedication Festival. The REV. A. H. MACHONOCHIE will preach this (Monday) Evening, at eight o'clock. Procession after the Sermon." INCUMBENTS of Scenic Churches must be careful what they are doing, and how they advertise "Processions" and such like spectacles, or the LORD CHAMBERLAIN may treat them as Theatrical Managers, and exercise supervision over their little arrangements. They have so long been unaccustomed to any control, Episcopal or otherwise, that even the mild authority of the LORD CHAMBERLAIN might be felt disagreeably oppressive. A VULGAR ERROR CORRECTED.-The assertion so frequently made, that it is impossible to arrest the flight of time, is altogether erroneous, for who is there that cannot stop a minute? THE BILL OF FARE. MR. GLADSTONE (THE "CHEF"). "IRISH STEW FIRST, MRS. B., AND THEN-" MRS. BRIGHT (THE COOK). "LOR BLESS YOU, MR. G., THE IRISH STEW'S QUITE AS MUCH AS THEY'LL GET THROUGH, I'LL BE BOUND!" EVENINGS FROM HOME. BRAVO, MONSIEUR HERVÉ! and also bravo MESSIEURS MANSELL! A most plucky attempt to show London what an opéra bouffe is like without SCHNEIDER and DUPUIS to sing and play, and M. JACQUES OFFENBACH to compose the music. And, Gentlemen, take it on the whole, a success, but an exceptional success, which is no precedent for the future, mind you; for the introduction of Le Petit Faust, which is in contemplation, we believe, will require great care and caution on the part of the management. Much will be excused M. HERVÉ at present, because the British Public (we knew a horrid, unpatriotic cynic who chose to substitute u for i in the first syllable of" British" when talking of these matters) doesn't as yet quite understand what it all means; but if Chilpéric had been an English work, it wouldn't, with its present libretto, with its absence of plot, and acted as it now is, have stood a week's chance with aforesaid playgoing British Public. Chilpéric is admirably mounted, and is certainly the nearest approach to the genuine opéra bouffe of Paris that we have yet seen done into English. La Grande Duchesse, in English, at Covent Garden was a mistake: it was Tom Thumb in Blunderbore's hall; but Chilpéric at the Lyceum is the right play in the right place. The mise-en-scène is admirable. The whole thing is brilliant throughout, as far as scenery and costumes go; but the music-"la musique avant tout," as M. HERVÉ, we are sure, would say-is not, to our thinking, up to that of L'Eil Crévé, which still remains, from a catchy-tuneful point (the essence of this class of entertainment), the chief of M. HERVÉ's works. Until you reach the grand finale of the opera-that is, until you have heard it almost up to the end-there is not one air which, on a first hearing ("Then hear it twice," MESSES. MANSELL will reply) makes the public head wag, the hand beat time, and the foot irresistibly move to the "go" of the music. This is reserved for the finale, which is, simply, a very effective waltz, and which, by the way, was some years since arranged by MR. MUSGRAVE, and rendered more funnily and effectively than in Chilpéric, as the finale to the burlesque of Paris at the Strand. Commend us to MONSIEUR MARIUS. Now, here is one of those singing young gentlemen of whom we have not the like in England, and whose place in burlesque is invariably filled by some vivacious actress. We haven't got a young man on the stage who can take either M. HERVÉ's place or that of M. MARIUS-that is, a fair tenor who is also a comic actor-more of a "droll" than a comedian. The counter part of M. MARIUS is common in France and Italy: he has no existence here except disguised as the "The Great VANCE," or some other distinguished "Champion Comic." We trust that, as MR. TOм TAYLOR'S play of Axe and Crown at the Queen's may inaugurate the Historical at the expense of the Hysterical Drama, so Chilpéric at the Lyceum may incite some of our mute, inglorious Offenbachs and Hervés to come to the front, and that the example set in this new venture of doing things well may be sufficiently successful, commercially, to "encourage the performance" in the future. One word as to the Orchestra. Capital: and conducted by MR. MUSGRAVE, himself a composer of two successful English opéras bouffes, of no great pretension, it is true, but full of tune, musical fun, and the true spirit of burlesque. The ballet is pretty and intelligent: they can not only dance in time, but sing well in tune. By "the ballet" specially mean King Chilpéric's Pages. we on We subjoin, as is our wont, our own peculiar dramatic notice of " and off" the stage; and we could not help noticing that many a hint came from amateurs and dilletanti, which M. HERVÉ might perhaps have heard without pleasure, but on which he would, probably, have acted after calm reflection. Wishing the enterprise all success, we take our seat in the stalls. IN THE THEATRE. SCENE.-Entrance to Stalls; then the Stalls. Officious Stall-keeper (hands programme, which Cheerful Gentleman, who has come in late, accepts). Take your coat, Sir? (Takes his coat, Sir, and gives him numbered ticket, Sir)-and hat, Sir? Cheerful Gentleman (as if he'd rather part with his life than this, answers fiercely). No. [Is about to enter Stalls, under the impression that he can walk at once to his. Suddenly finds himself between the Opéra bouffe in full sing, which has just commenced, and crowded Stalls, all intent on the performance-Foresees a difficulty. Officious Boxkeeper (pointing out the Stall, middle of middle row, which Cheerful Gentleman has selected a week ago as the best place in the house.) There it is, Sir. Take for the programme, Sir? Cheerful Gentleman (with unobtrusive humour, as the question is put to him in this form) No, thank you. [Stall-keeper nonplussed, offers book of the piece, which is politely refused. Cheerful man begins to fly from Stall-keeper over toes, and amid the somethings, not loud but deep, to his Stall in the middle. As he goes along sideways, like a crab, he mutters to gentlemen and ladies-Beg pardon-(toes)-beg pardon-(kicks a hat. This is an awful outrage, and leaves its owner, looking after the destroyer of his nap, scowling and caressing the hat with his elbow, and growling out something about "He wishes people would, &c., &c.")-pardon-(catches in lady's dress)—a thousand pardons-(to a lady's cloak which, being caught in the buttons of his tails by its fringe, he has dragged along with him—owner, an elderly lady, four stalls off, is under the impression it's a new dodge of the Swell Mob.) At last he arrives, and sits down with a satisfied air, as much as to say, Now then, we'll see what's going on," which he can't, because he suddenly discovers that he's dropped his bill. Says bother!" to himself, and tries to look over his neighbour's programme. Neighbour surly. Cheerful man recognises friends and nods, as if assuring them of his own safety, and of the gratification that they must feel on having been seen by him. 66 Lounger (to a Friend, after hearing M. Marius for some time). What's he say? Cynical Friend. Don't know. Lounger (after hearing M. Hervé in the Second Act). What's he say? of the libretto, one doesn't lose anything. Cynical Friend. Don't know. But judging from what we have heard Lounger (smiles with a vague feeling that something deep is meant). Ah! What's it all about? (He asks this in the First Scene of Act III.) Cynical Friend (referring to Programme). Chilpéric, I believe. Lounger (under the impression he is being chaffed). Thank you. Judicious Person (behind Cheerful one). HERVÉ's like what FECHTER Imust have been in his first stage of English, eh? Cheerful Friend. Yes. FECHTER thinned, and set to music. Judicious Person. If HERVÉ and MARIUS would only speak slower, one could understand them. Amateur (to Critic). They manage their voices well, don't they? Critic (sarcastically). Their what? (Amateur is abashed. Critic dogmatises graciously) MISS MUIR is a very good contralto for this theatre. The little lady from the Conservatoire sings very nicely, and so does the Druidess. loightful. Irish Lady (to two of her party). Be my faith_now, I think it de(Applauds vehemently with her fan.) I could see it every night in the week, and oftener. What do you think, SIR THOMAS ? Sir Thomas. Well-yes-I-the ballet's good. (The Cançan is now going on, end of Act II., in which all join.) the Cançan, and finds them.) Sure I think it classic and volupshus. Irish Lady. Good!!! (Pauses for words to express the admiration of (Settles SIR THOMAS.) End of Act II. Vociferous applause for the dance. [N.B. Cançan spiritedly danced; no vulgarity. M. HERVÉ is a wonderful man, author, composer, actor, singer, dancer.] Calls for "HARVEY, HERVY, MARRY'US," &c. Enter before the Curtain all the principal Characters. Calls continued. Enter before the curtain THE ENTIRE BALLET. Calls continued. Enter all the "EXTRA LADIES rently. Roars of laughter. Calls discontinued. (Fact.) Lounger (who has been an habitué of the Theatres for years). Well, I never saw that before in any theatre. If they'd gone on calling, I suppose we'd have had out the " supers" next, and then the carpenters, and then the stage-door keeper. What a pity they forgot the Chorus. Inane Person (coming out of his Stall). Charming! isn't it? So Parisian! Lounger. H'm! Have you seen this in Paris, eh? appa Inane Person. In Paris? No-at least-that is-(makes up his mind to tell the truth and escape.) No. (Escapes.) Country Visitor (in Pit). So that's MARIUS, is it? Well, I've often heard talk of him singing at Covent Garden, and I'm glad I've seen him, though he don't look his age. I s'pose that's Italian he's talking. (Lives for the rest of his life under the firm conviction that he has heard the great MARIO in "Chilpéric.") Last Act. Charming Finale. Lounger (to Friend in Lobby). Yes: something novel about it. Cheerful Friend. There are no tunes that one can take away, except the last. [Begins humming it. Cynical Person (stopping him). And for goodness' sake don't rob them of that. Critic. I've got a notion for a serious opera. I'd cast it with FECHTER, BANDMANN, HERR FORMES, MARIUS, HERVÉ, MADAME CELESTE, and STELLA COLAS, and if I could only get SCHNEIDER to go in for a course of English before breakfast, wouldn't it draw? Allons to PADDY's and high art. [Exeunt omnes. A Stronger Way of Putting It. WRITING from Rome, a Correspondent states that"The principle of the POPE's temporal power is to be asserted by a canon." This may be very well, but it strikes us that the principle of any temporal power might be far more forcibly asserted by a cannon. |