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Such, however, is the fact. The Advocates of secret voting have their humanity to know that the opium which we supply to China is of the triumph at last. The friend of a candidate will be able to sing- finest sort, and prepared in the most artistic manner; and it must “I speak not, I trace not, I breathe not thy name !"

be clear to every moralist that it is the duty of a Chinaman to avoid

taking more than is good for him. because he will not even have to trace it. He is to be presented with We own that we think a more elegant way out of the difficulty was a paper, like a cheque (bitter mockery of those who have been accus- open. A resolution should have been carried to the effect, that it tomed to receive, on such occasions, real cheques) on which are printed would be disrespectful to the greatest of living novelists to enter into the names of the candidates. He is privately to strike out all the the opium question at all until the Mystery of Edwin Drood, so far as it names except that of his Man, and then is to deposit the paper in a affects Mr. Jasper, should be solved. But the House of Commons, box. There will, as in the case of a cheque, be a counterfoil, with the often described as elephantine in its power over oaks and pins, hath same number on it as on the voter's paper. This will enable us to somewhat of elephantine gracefulness. detect fraud._Quite right, but not absolute secresy, LORD HARTING- MR. GLADSTONE nominated the Committee on Monastic InstituTON, as MR. HENRY JAMEs justly remarked.

tions. It is a highly respectable one, and is not at all likely to behave There is more in this Bill

. Nomination day, with all its riot rudely to anybody. In fact, there are gentlemen on it who would and ruffianism, is to be done away, and future historians must make a point of saying pleasant things to any Lady who should be study Pickwick if they want to do Macaulification. This is an unmixed asked to give evidence. This will be satisfactory, we trust, to many a good. Nomination is to be made by a paper, to be signed by Ten Catholic Électors, and delivered to an official, either by the candidate per

“Who looks, not lovingly, at that Divan." sonally, or by his proposer or seconder. This has to be done within two specified hours, and within those a candidate may “bolt;” i.e.,

Wednesday. A meritorious Bill for doing away with a Church withdraw his notice, if he is frightened.

scandal, on which Mr. Punch's batteries have often and damagingly Public-houses are not to be used as Committee-rooms, and

opened, was read a Second Time. It is for prohibiting the sale of Lastly, and, perhaps, bestly, Any expenditure made by a Candidate, Next Presentations to Livings. and not declared in the account he has to give in, shall be deemed a

It is not wonderful that a Bill on the subject of payment to Irish Corrupt Payment.

Coroners should be introduced, considering the increase those gentleThe Bill' is not to affect the Universities, which will vote as at men have had in business by reason of the means resorted to by present, in a silent and dignified manner; in fact, through the institu- sundry, agitators for getting at the land. But this Bill was rejected. tion under LORD HARTINGTON's care, if Members so please. This is

Dwellers in towns will be happy to hear that, though the Bill for the worst part of the arrangement for the

great numbers of University preserving Suburban Commons was opposed, it was not thrown out, votes sent from a distance are given by gentlemen whose academical but was sent-Mr. Punch thinks on good grounds-to a Select Combrilliance has been dulled by provincial isolation. Punch "loves to mittee. LORD BYRON, scoffing at a small poet, says, express himself delicately, but you know what he means," as a gentle

"No Common be inclosed without an Ode;" man says in one of FIELDING's graceless comedies.

This evening Scotland had a small innings, and the House decided but, if for "ode” we substitute “row," and also enact that the row be that North Britain does not want any change in its system of Public kicked up before the Inclosure, and in prevention thereof, his LordProsecutions.

ship's verses—thus slightly, not to say prosaically, manipulatedThen came a very odd debate indeed. “Odd,” which is derived might "stand part of the Bill.” from the Swedish udda (bless you, Punch knows everything, and more), Thursday. LORD HARTINGTON says that the Telegraph System is being describes the business better than any other word could do. Arrange extended as rapidly as possible. The difficulty seems to be the stupidity criticism in Rabelaisian fashion, and we might say that the elements of of the telegraphist staff

, but it is improving. Why are not Persons, this discussion-it was about Opium and China-were

females, women, the Fair Sex, almost exclusively employed in work Bigotry

Evasion
Cant

which they could do so adroitly? It is not only this stupidity, howBenevolence Philistinism

ever, that hinders the general use of the telegraph. Mr. Punch has

Circumbendibus Self-righteousness Off-handedness

heard of people in a small locality successfully objecting to having the Humbug.

wire, because they do not like the post-master to know their secrets ! But, as Mr. Punch (as he has often observed) never likes to give A meeting of sympathy with the French Republicans had been offence, he has no intention of assigning to each speech its share of the announced. The place, of course, Hyde Park. The day, of course, above articles. Sufficeth, that SIR WILFRID LAWSON, the great Sunday. There was not the least reason for it-the pretext that the enemy of Potables, proposed that the House should condemn the French Government had asked for a certain extradition, was declared system which raises a large portion of the revenue of India (Six Mil- by MR. BRUCE to be false. He said that every care should be taken lions) from Opium. He urged that it was a demoralising drug, and to preserve order, but this was only half an answer, We are for no that the Chinese authorities were opposed to its consumption by the violence, but the police have as much right to walk, in bodies, through people. There was much talk, and there was one attempt to get away the Park, as any other persons ; and if the police happened to walk, in from the topic by a Count-Out, but it could not be escaped 80. bodies, through and through such a meeting, we do not see that any.

MR. GRANT DUFF, in a very clever speech, argued that we must body could complain--and we do see that a good many persons would have the opium money, or the Indian or English public must provide be pleased at the peripatetic performance. However, the meeting was the amount, or that public works in India must be stopped. Also, given up. that the traffic was not mischievous. Opium was deleterious only if On the Land Bill, MR. GLADSTONE administered a terrible wigging taken in excess. Also, the Chinese would have it; and if we did not to MR. BRODRICK for something he had said about certain inferior sell it to them somebody else would. Hum! Touching this latter Judges in Ireland ; and he may have been incautious. But when he plea, does MR. GRANT DUFF recollect a certain poem by one WILLIAM described the “little local attorneys” of Ireland as the curse of the COWPER (not MR. COW PER-TEMPLE), wherein the Slave Trade is nation, we fancy that some gentlemen who remonstrated did so rather defended by one of its advocates. We might abstain from the trade, of perfunctorily. "MR. BERNAL OSBORNE's courageous description of course

these persons was much to the same effect as that of MR. BRODRICK. " But then if we do, the French, Dutch, and Danes,

Readers may observe that this Essence is something long. They Will heartily thank us, no doubt, for our pains:

may be-doubtless are grateful. We are aware that it is absolute If we do not buy the poor Creechers, they will,

perfection". (as an enlightened correspondent judiciously remarks), So tortures and groans will be multiplied still."

whether it be long or short. But we claim no merit for the quantity MR. GLADSTONE perceived that his able friend wanted backing up,

this time. The fact is, that we have been spinning it out to postpone, for all his ability, and Ajax flung his seven-fold shield over the light as long as we could, the appalling and saddened revelation to which we armed Teacer. We have handed the management of the Indian have now come. But when a pill has to be swallowed, don't bite itrevenue to the Indian Council, and the House has no right to deprive down with it. Here goes ! the People of India of this £6,000,000, and throw their finances into

On the motion of MR. BOUVERTE, the Bill (MR. JACOB BRIGHT'S) confusion. But, if it were done, the House mụst make up the deficiency, for giving Votes to Women, was Rejected! By 220 to 94 the House and he must request SIR W. LAWSON to begin by taking MR. Lowe's refused to go into Committee. MR. GLADSTONE was in the majority. surplus, on account.

[Here Mr. Punch, deeply agitated, withdraws for refreshment. The Downright Shippen" of the day is the downright HENLEY. Returning, and throwing away a small brown fragment, of savoury We have no right to ask the Indians to give up this revenue, untii odour, he resumes.] our own Government has given up the income it derives from Gin, on Friday. No. He is unequal to further effort. The shock has been which "quite as many people made beasts of themselves as on opium." too severe. He must try a few more cigars. He believes that the

Finally, brethren, this edifying and suggestive debate was got rid of Commons talked about the ill-conditions of vagrants, and the ill-usage - yes, got rid of— for the House escaped, after all. The Previous of MR. EDWARD BARRY, the distinguished architect, and that on this Question, which means that it is not expedient to go into the Present latter point MR. AYRTON came to moral though not numerical grief. Question, was carried by 150 to 46. We were going to laugh, but But the public must respect Mr. Punch's emotion, and permit him a prefer to add, demurely, that it must be satisfactory to all friends of brief sojourn in Cloud-land. A light, there, Ho!

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A SPRING SONG ON THE ARRIVAL OF A

WARBLER. “Her delivery . . . is singing and speaking blended, in such wise as to make the hearer believe that music is her natural language, and that what she has to say would naturally be best understood if she were only to sing it.”—Times, May 9th.

O, How I love thy song to hear,

Sweet ADELINA PATTI,
What joy thou bringest to mine ear,

When warbling "Batti, batti !
I love thy face, thy artless grace,

With artful skill that blendeth :
And, better still, I love the thrill

Thy sweet voice through me sendeth.
I love thy pretty pouts and pets,

Thy rustic lovers teasing;
I love to see thee love thy work,

And pleased that thou art pleasing.
How rarely on the stage I've heard

A voice more pure, or sweeter :
Small wonder Faust to love were stirred

By such a Margherita.
'Tis said when young thy vocal tongue

In song its wants would utter;
How nice to hear thee sing for beer,

Or warble“ bread-and-butter!”
O,

had my wife a voice as sweet,
There's naught I could deny her:
With each behest and least request

I'd be a swift complier.
Let her but squall "I want a shawl,

A bracelet, or a bonnet,"
I at her beck would get a cheque,

And sign my name upon it.
How sweet to hear a voice like thine

Sing, “Let me sew that button!”
What

husband could complain of it,
E'en tbough it said “Cold mutton!”
Ab, PATTI, if our wives like

thou Could warble " Batti, batti !.We'd haply feel more oft than now

Our hearts go pit-a-Parti !

WHAT WE MUST EXPECT IF ANY MORE ALLIGATORS GET LOOSE IN THE THAMES.

in the face of facts like these. Nor do I see anything in the conduct of TO MR. GEORGE ODGER.

"the working-man” in the Hyde Park riots, or Trafalgar Square

demonstrations, of last year, in which you and other of his soi-disant (From Punch's own Correspondence.)

leaders and organs took a prominent part, greatly calculated to win MY DEAR MR. ODGER,

back the confidence of the middle class. Nor are such demonstrations In your speech to the “Birmingham Labour Representation as you propose, by way of showing your sympathy with the men who League "--whatever that League may be, for I have known Leagues are making the cause of Republicanism contemptible and odious in shrunk to inches on close inspection-you are reported to have said France, or for the purpose of protesting against a demand of extra" that the middle-class party must do something substantial, if they dition which has never been made, of a kind to conciliate middle-class would win back the confidence of the working-man, which they had confidence. now entirely lost.”

"The middle-class party,” you go on to say, “cannot afford to lose Now," the confidence of the working-man" is, I doubt not, a very the support of the great mass of the nation.” valuable thing; but before I accept your word for who has it, and who Here, again, suppose I reverse the sentence. “What becomes of has it not, I should like to ask you who is “the working-man" you the great mass of the nation” without the support of the middleare talking about? And what is "the middle class ” which has lost class party ?.". “the working-man's confidence”?

What is "the middle-class party,” in fact, but "the great mass of The middle class, according to my notion of it, includes a good many the nation" under another name? working-men, though I regret to find "the" working-man”-your It seems to me, my dear MR. ODGER, that of all conceivable mischief. working-man, that is—is not among them.

makers at this moment there is none so mischievous as the man who But, waiving these points for a moment, let me ask you who has the goes about with these invidious distinctions of classes, and these sepaconfidence of “the working-man"? Have you? If you had, I rations of class-interests, for ever in his mouth. So long as you come should have expected to see you in Parliament before this. I fancy forward as "the working-man candidate,” I sincerely trust you will “tbe working-man,” in whose name you speak, is not apt to give his be beaten as decidedly as you have been beaten wherever you have confidence at all easily; and I can't wonder at it, considering how yet appeared. Not a speech you have made but has proved the narmany humbugs have been in the habit of asking for it, and how often, rowness of your political views, and the shallowness of your political when he has “ given his confidence," he has had reason to repent knowledge; and I need no other gauge of you than that you have of it.

yourself supplied me with. I have no faith in sayings you can twist right round. Suppose The middle class” is a fact, and it includes three parts, say, of the I twisted yours, and propounded “that the working-man must do adult males of a population of thirty millions. That being so, it is something to win back the confidence of the middle classes, which he rather wild to speak of it as a single political entity. But '' the has now entirely lost.", I think I could make out quite as good a case working man is not even a fact,—but an unreal abstraction. The in support of this reading. What, if I quoted BROADHEAD, and the working population of England includes some millions of men, of all Sheffield Revelations? Or the case of MR. JOHNSON, of Manchester, ages, characters, and habits ; some thoughtful, more thoughtless ; some at this very time, compelled to hide the place he sleeps in, to ride industrious, more idle; some thrifty, more improvident; some sober, armed, to crave special protection of the police, to secure him from more intemperate; some sensible and comprehensive in their views, assassination, and his house and its inmates from destruction ? of life, duties, and politics, more rash, headstrong, and short-sighted.

I am afraid that “the working-man" must do sometbing very But if there be one characteristic which can safely be extended to "substantial” indeed, to win back the confidence of the middle class, working-men as a body, it is imperfect education, and unfitness for

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any position of which trained minds and extensive knowledge are leading requirements. Those who profess to represent "the working

AYRTONUS EXULTANS ! may, perhaps, consider that they show, at least, one claim to

“MR. A. SEYMOUR, who had a notice on the paper to ask the Prime Minister do so, when they prove that they resemble him in shallowness, shortsightedness, and self-satisfaction.

a question on the decoration of the Houses of Parliament, began: I have to

ask the indulgence of the House for putting this question to the right hon. That you have this claim, my dear MR. ODGER, I readily admit. But gentleman, but the fact is, that want of courtesy on the part of the right hon. I have read your speeches, and watched your career in vain for proof Member for the Tower Hamlets- his habitual evasion and official nonchalance, that you possess any other. I have the honour to be, my dear MR. (Cries of Order.) ** ODGER,

Yours faithfully,

“LORD ELCHÓ: After the question which has just been asked, perhaps I PUNCH.

may penture to put a question to the First Commissioner of Works - (laughter)
—and that is, when the model of the Thames Embankment, which he pro-
mised before the Easter holidays, will be on view to the Members of both

Houses within the precincts of this building ?
THE MISJUDGMENT OF JUDGES.

“MR. AYRTON : If the noble lord who has put that question had only used

his faculties, he would have discovered that the model has already been placed HE Times, a few days ago, pub- in the room he suggested, and has been waiting for seven days to be exlished a rather extraordinary amined. (Laughter.)" letter. It expressed a thoughtful

I am a British Beadle: I'm not a Roman Ædile, sense of a legal wrong, and was

I laugh Architecture, Painting, and Sculpture all to scorn: signed “A BARRISTER.” Our learned and morally sentient

For raising Artists' danders, dealing "men-of-taste” back-handers,

And giving crooked answers to cross questions I was born. friend says: “ Three years ago I was counsel

I really don't imagine, since Bumbledom its badge in for the plaintiff in an action for

High-places Parliamentary was favoured to display, false imprisonment brought by a That there ever was a “party,” who such detestation hearty poor man against a rich man, a Had the pleasure of enjoying, as I enjoy to-day! Magistrate and a Barrister. The plaintiff had a verdict for £100. I'm the hedgehog of officials, so fenced about with bristles, The defendant moved for a new None touch me that can help it: and none touch me but to rue : trial; rule refused. He appealed There is pungency in nettles : there is prickliness in thistles :

to the Exchequer Chamber; judg- But hedgehog, nettle, thistle, in my sole self I outdo. Www

ment for the plaintiff. The defen-
dant then took the case to the That in my Whitehall Office I'm a Bear's the merest trifle ;

House of Lords, and yesterday the Noli-me-tangere" written o'er the entrance to my den: decisions of the Exchequer Chamber, the Court of Exchequer, and the LORD

With a paw to claw at artists, a hug their strength to stifle, CHIEF BARON, who tried the cause, were overruled by the LORD CHANCELLOR,

A tongue to vent my rheum on men of pencil and of pen. two ex-Chancellors, and a Scotch Judge. The costs are enormous, and the question arises, how would it have been had the defendant been a poor man?” 'Twas more to have made the Commons dread my length and strength

of jawing, He would have had to pay a hundred pounds unduly, or to be made

To have owed pay and promotion to my power of bites and barks, a bankrupt. So much for answer to the question of "A BARRISTER.' But there is another view of the case to be taken than that which he

Than in my triple toughness of hide and love of clawing, suggests. His client, a poor man, will be unable to pay“ enormous

To be tyrannous to artists and terrible to clerks. costs. Somebody must. They will come out of the rich defendant's 'Twas prouder still the Treasury to have made too hot to hold me, pocket. He will be saddled

with them through the erroneous ruling To have riled Lowe past endurance, and caused STANSFELD curse which was overruled by the Law Lords. Ought he not to ha

his day; remedy against the Judge or Judges through whose mistake he has to Yet have rendered it so terrible a piece of work to scold me, bear all that expense ? "In humbler spheres than the judicial, people That they were fain, for quiet life, to raise my place and pay. have to pay for the damage occasioned by their professional oversight or nescience. But that is very hard; as when a surgeon has done his

But

now, at last, the summit of offensiveness I've got to, best to set a bone, for example, and it has gone wrong. Mishap or

Capp'd bearishness's climax-at which e'en I must stop,misapprehension entails no such hardship on learned Judges. It is

Till Members who have questions to ask me are fain not to, agreeable to see any of our fellow-men, though a favoured few, exempt

So "nasty" are the answers with which into them I drop. from a severely rigorous liability. There is nothing like taking, if

Then crown me King of Nuisances, with crown of the wild aloe, possible, as it is with regard to the case put as above by “A BAR

For barrenness, and bitterness, and prickliness in one: RISTER," a bright and cheerful view of every question.

If you want to have Art crippled, Invention made lie fallow,

In public works, 'tis I'm the man to get that duty done!
A Thought at Willis's.
THERE is one toast which you are sure to hear at all Public Dinners.

An Afternoon Tea.
It is not the Queen, nor the Rest of the Royal Family, nor the Army,

(A Fragment.) Navy, and Volunteers, nor yet the Ladies, but it is the toast of the evening.

“DR. SMOOTHMAN is quite a ladies' doctor," so observed MRS.

FAINTAWAY. Why this partiality? Why is one division of the day constantly selected for distinction in exclusion of all the rest ? Perhaps some

“ So nice!” said one lady. Steward (sixth time) will clear up the mystery.

"So chatty!” said another.
"Never prescribes nasty things," said a third.

“Oh! he's a duck!” cried an enthusiastic young matron.
Song on the Situation.

"You mean a quack," growled her husband, who had just seen the

doctor's bill for one year's attendance.
LARGE towns, many ?
Few, if any.
Some slight row.

Departmental Jockeyship.
Plebiscitum ;

It has been suggested that the Jockey Club should hold an extra-
Scratch and bite 'em :

ordinary meeting, to consider the way in which GENERAL BOXER, Bow, wuf, wow !

contriver of cartridges, has been jockeyed by the War Office, and the nature and extent of the jockeyship which is wont to be practised upon

inventors generally who have deserved remuneration, by all governParliamentary Incident.

ments whether Conservative or Liberal. In the Opium debate, MR. GLADSTONE challenged SIR WILFRID Lawson to find a substitute for the tax. I can find a substitute for the drug," called out Mr. Punch from the gallery. “What?" shouted ment-Mosaic decoration of the House of Commons.

Two NAMES FOR ONE THING.-Admission of the Jews to Parliathe delighted House, “Hansard !shrieked Mr. Punch, bolting from the Sergeant.

A PLUM FOR AYRTON.—What are the worst represented parts in FOR THE SUMMER Season.-A Nice Man-GUNTER. | London ?-Tower Hamlets,

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RACY OF THE SOIL." Enamoured Briton. “IT MUST BE AWFULLY JOLLY KNOCKING ABOUT LIKE THIS ALL OVER EUROPE WITH YOUR MOTHER AND SISTER. BUT WHY DIDN'T YOUR FATAER COME WITH YOU ?"

American Belle (with vivacity). OH! PA' DON'T Voy'GE-HE'S Too FLESHY!!"

OUR LITERARY PROSPECTS.

HIGH, LOW, BROAD, OR NARROW ? By the aid of a clairvoyant we can state with some authority, that a A CHARITY is in existence for "Poor Widows” and “Orthodox goodly crop of novels and other works of fiction will shortly be forth- Divines," and a scheme for its government has lately been established coming. Some persons are in literature pretty well as readily attracted by the Charity Commission. Not an easy task, we imagine, at least by a title as in Society in general are plebeian millionnaires. So we as regards “Orthodox Divines." In these days of perplexity and cannot be surprised that successes are succeeded by titles somewhat ecclesiastical suits, when there is so much difference of opinion as similar to those which have gained success. Here are a few samples to who is and who is not a sound divine, it would be useful to know of the batch we may expect :

how the Commissioners settled this difficult question, and what doc

trine test they propose to apply to those clergymen who may desire A Race from a Widow: a Tale of Real Life, by the Author of A to become recipients of the REV. JAMES PALMER's Charity.

Race for a Wife.
Will He ear a Wig? a Sensation Story, by the Author of The Heir
Expectant.

Birds of a Feather.
Strong Lungs and Hard Liders : by the Writer of Strong Hands and
Steadfast Hearts.

WHEN HILARY OVINGTON went home from the “Disabled DustAnd Quite Enough Troo: a Sequel to the Story of One Maiden Only. men's” dinner last Saturday, he rather astonished his wife by telling Let go the Painter : a Tale of Artist Lise, written by the Author of her that one of the dishes of which he had partaken consisted of an Stern Necessity.

article of dress in vogue in the time of QUEEN ELIZABETH, and revived Wheels within Wheels : a Novel, by the Author of So Runs the World in our own day, and a celebrated public singer. She was alarmed for his Away.

intellect, but dismissed her fears when Hilary explained that he A Fellow in a Funk : being a Companion Story to that of A Brade meant “Ruffs and Reeves."

Lady.
Big Hubbie: a Domestic Story by the writer of Wee Wifie.

Additional.
The Knock and the Newspaper : à Tale founded on the Poem of The
Ring and the Book.

A TURBULENT demagogue was the other day described as "a burning and a shining light." It ought to have been added, that he was a lamp

that burnt up, flared, smoked, and smelt. Such a one ought to be He is an Edile !

dealt with as the bad boys were at Eton who were "turned down." MR. AYRTON said he was not an edile, and his proposed operations

FORCE OF HABIT. have been noticed in the Architect. He also said he was no gardener, and he is about to direct some ornamental gardening in Hyde Park. A Man who always dog's-eared a page of a book in order to remember When he said he was not an edile, nor yet a gardener, he was joking. a passage, invariably used to turn down a street so as to fix it in his He is both an edile and a gardener also, and he is likewise a wag. memory.

Printed by Joseph Smith, of No. 24, Holford
Square, in the Parish of St. James, Clerkenwell, in the County of Middlesex,

at the Printing Offices of Messrs. Bradbury, Evans, & Co., Lombard Street, in the Precinct of Whitefriars, in the City of London, and Published by him at No. 85, Fleet Street, in the Parish of St. Bride, City of London. --SATURDAY, May 21, 1870,

THE CHARITY OF THE STAGE.
“ The Dramatic College Benefit was in every respect a great
success....

This admirable charity is in urgent need of funds."
KIND reader, have you any knowledge
Of the famed Dramatic College ?
Poor players here a shelter find,
When blows ill fortune's wintry-wind.
Here they may live, by cares unruffled,
When off their stage coil they have shuffled.

Macbeth, acquitted of his crimes,
May read the murders in the Times :
Malvolio with Sweet Anne Page
A warfare in bézique may wage;
And Bobadil with Celia chat,
While Rosalind learns how to tat.

By daylight here the Ghost may stalk,
Launce take his dog a country walk;
Pistol and Poins their thefts may cease,
And talk of brigandage in Greece;
Wbile haply Shylock finds in Tony
Lumpkin a most delightful crony.

The Hunchback here may doff his hunch,
And serious Mawworm laugh o'er Punch ;
Here Catharine may rest from strife,
Petruchio lead a quiet life;
Falstoff aside his fat may Aling,
Sad Jaques be happy as a king :
Rotund with ease while Slender grows,
And Bardolf paints no more his nose.

One thing alone, your help, they need :
For this not vainly Punch may plead.

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A Minister of Great Horse-Power. Do they manage everything better in France ? The question is asked with timidity by us poor blundering Englishmen, because it appears that, up to the present, time, the Imperial Stables have been under the control of the Ministry of Fine Arts ! Rather an odd association, was it not? But we forget. In Paris, Art claims every Muse; and so the Royal Mews was not allowed to remain an exception.

CRUELTY TO ANIMALS."
IRRITATED BEYOND ENDURANCE AT THE PATIENCE AND FORTITUDE WITH
WHICH HIS BALD-READED FRIEND HAD BORNE THE ATTACKS OF A DEMONIACAL
BLUE-BOTTLE ALL THE AFTERNOON SERVICE, THE IRASCIBLE CHURCHWARDEN
JUMPS UP AND DISPATCHES THE INSECT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SERMON !

COUPLET AND CHRONICLE.

PLEBISCITUM,
Repetitum.

DRAMATIC ORIGIN OF SPECIES.

play-going portion of the British Public are in a transition state, reverting, if the Darwinian theory of development is true, degenerating

whether or no, to the level of apes. HEAR MR. BUCKSTONE speaking to the toast, "Prosperity to the General Theatrical Fund,” coupled with his name at the anniversary dinner of that Charity, by the PRINCE OF WALES :

A JOVIAL “ READING” PARTY. “It was remarked a little while ago, that in the twenty-four theatres now open in London on SHAKSPEARE's birthday, not one of his plays was repre- land is in a rapid decline-that hospitality is fast becoming one of the

ARE there not desponding spirits who say that conviviality in Engpreferred to any of his immortal works; this may be attributed to the multi- lost arts in this poor, decaying State? Good news awaits them. plicity of theatres now allowed to be erected in almost every street, where the There is one county, certainly, on which this reproach cannot be cast, insane passion for burlesque is in the ascendant. A short time since a mana- where the good old doings of the good old days appear to be reprogerial authority informed us that SHAKSPEARE means ruin and bankruptcy.” duced with a very fair approach to a successful imitation—and that

county the Royal one, Berkshire. One would think, however, that the multiplicity of theatres would On Friday last, Mr. Punch read (in the agreeable Daily News) with simply afford ample accommodation in the way of entertainment to audible delight, and openly expressed wishes that he had been born a even all the fools in London, leaving SHAKSPEARE possible at one, if Berkshire grandee, the following cheering paragraphs, which satisfied only one, house for an intelligent public. That the multiplicity of him that conviviality, like trade, is at last reviving in this country :theatres is not anyhow the sole reason why the idiotic drama has ousted the Shakspearian, MR. BUCKSTONE himself

will perhaps discern, Wednesday night at the Town Hall, Reading. ... The Banquet lasted until

“ SHERIFFS' BANQUET AT READING.–The Mayor's Banquet was held on on consideration of what he himself went on to say :

four o'clock yesterday morning." “It was not always so. I remember MR. CHARLES KEMBLE once saying to me, * MR. BUCKSTONE, when I was at Covent Garden Theatre, with my Reading, to lay a foundation-stone. Wherever they go, they find a

The PRINCE and PRINCESS OF WALES are expected soon to visit brother John and my sister SARAH, and we could not procure attractive

novelty, hearty welcome; but Mr. Punch is sure, after what he has read and we always put up SCHAKSPER-80 he pronounced the name and SCHAKSPER always pulled us through.'

quoted, that in the capital of Berkshire, they will meet with a particu

larly jolly reception. Yes ; but who were they whom SCHAKSPER always pulled through ? They who put him up and played his principal characters; “I, and my brother John, and my sister SARAH !” Were there now at the head

Slang Explained. of a company at any theatre in London such a constellation as JOHN "KING ARTHUR and his pals," would hardly sound respectful, cerand CHARLES KEMBLE and SARAH SIDDON, is it not likely enough tainly not romantic; and yet the expression, when examined, turns out that SH KSPEARE would still pull them through, and not mean ruin to be nothing worse than an abbreviation of “KING ARTHUR and his and bankruptcy ? Let us think so, and not rather suppose that the paladins.”

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