# * * serve me from every thing, secret or public, which is offensive to thee. 2. As I will, through thy good providence, have arrived at majority at the commencement of the ensuing summer, enable me to recollect with lively gratitude thy past care of me, and prosper me in what I propose at Carnwath, that it may be subservient to my main design. 3. • 4. Deal with me as it pleases thee, in respect of riches and all other temporal good things; only grant me a place amongst thy sanctified ones, and I am content, 5. I most earnestly request that I may be honoured to serve thee in the gospel, preaching the words of truth and eternal life to my fellowsinners all the days of my life. Hear me, I pray thee, and answer me in thy time." The other paper, which contains a confession of sins, and a dedication of himself anew to God, is dated Dec. 15. 1750, and contains this petition: "I seek thy di rection in my business, and in my present views. O grant thy blessing, while I give the glory of all to thee!" from which it is conjectured, that he had begun business as a surgeon, while his views were still directed to the ministry as his great aim in life. The reference which has just now been made to these papers suggests the propriety of remarking, that it was Mr Meikle's custom occasionally to set apart a day, or a part of a day, to solemn meditation, self-examination, and prayer; and that on such occasions he wrote down, as a means of fixing his mind, the heads of what at the time principally engaged his thoughts. This he did not merely when at home, but as often as he could find opportunity, with sufficient secrecy, when abroad. Thus, during the years he was at sea, we find him repeatedly engaged in this manner, in the fields near Plymouth, or a retired part of the rock of Gibraltar, in a forest between Leghorn and Pisa in Italy, and in a solitary spot of the island of St Helena. Many of these loose papers have been found, which it would swell this account of him too much to transcribe. Part of one of them, however, is here subjoined as a specimen, and because, after those which have been referred to, it is the first distinct notice of him, after his removal from Edinburgh to Carnwath. It runs thus: "Under a sense of my sins and unmerited mercies, I desire through grace, in sincerity and humility of soul, to approach to the Author of all my mercies, and to lay before thee, O merciful Father! all my designs, desiring thy divine direction. "And, in the first place, I confess mine own sins, the sins of my family and people, the sins of church and state. I desire to be humbled under my natural proneness to evil and aversion from good; for my many sinful thoughts, which thou, O Lord, knowest; for my wrong conceptions of the great Jehovah, and the smallness of my holy fear when in his presence, calling on him before whom all the earth should tremble. I also desire to be humbled for my limiting God, as if he were not Almighty; for not placing all my faith and hope on him alone, but on appearances and probabilities; for my ingratitude to God for his many matchless mercies to me in feeding and clothing me, and giving me favour in the eyes of men with whom I had to do. Providence has never failed me, but ay supplied me; yet in the time of prosperity I sinned, and joined with sinners in their follies, which now I lament, and desire to be humbled for; as also un der the stroke of my younger sister's death. O to learn the language of thy rod! " O Lord! I lament my detention from thy ordinances; and O that thou wouldst cast ny lot so (not that I prescribe to God) that I may serve thee in thy temple day and night! I desire to be humbled for all my prevailing lusts and passions; for my spiritual pride, ignorance of the things of God, barrenness under the gospel, lukewarmmess about the things of Christ; and for my carelessness about religious duties, so that while the love of Christ should constrain me, custom leads me. Ah! that ever I should doubt the good-will of him that dwelt in the bush, and forget the day when he heard my cry, and delivered me out of the hand of my fierce afflictions, manifesting his mighty power. I desire to be humbled for my earthlymindedness, and my desires after temporal things, riches, honour, and glory, which perish and pass away. I desire to be humbled for my breach of former engagements, and for that great mountain of sins accumulated on me since the last time I was before thee in this manner." * * "And now I desire to lay before thee my petitions. And first of all, O to be daily getting nearer and nearer thee; to be growing more and more acquainted with lovely Jesus, the light of the higher house, increasing more and more in grace, becoming more and more, like thee, * Carnwath is at a great distance from Davie's Dyke in the parish of Cambusnethan, where Mr Meikle then attended public worship; and the necessary calls of business often prevented his attendance, even when the distance and weather would not have done it. He had lately before been dangerously ill; and besides, had laboured under great dejection of soul. and daily less comformed to the world; to be delighting more and more in spiritual things, given more and more to meditation on the glory to be revealed, loving him more and more who loved me! O to be delighting in God all the day long, living in his fear as before him always, learning more and more submission to his disposals in providence, and more and more persuaded of the rectitude of his will, the equity of his law, the longness of his patience, and his care of his own. 0 to get the better of prevailing sin, and that which easily besets me! "O Lord! I lay another petition before thee, and beg thou wilt hear it. O let me come into thy service, (in the ministry), and breathe my last under thy colours, a volunteer; and to this end I beg a blessing on all my studies. O Lord! hear me. "Also, I lay before thee my design of courtship with M. R. If she be thine, one in whom the fear of God is, may she be mine, if for thy glory and my good. Grant me direction in this matter, and give me favour in her eyes *. "O prosper me in my business! Thy blessing be on my endeavours for the health and cure of thy creatures. Let never the greed of money get a hold of my heart; keep me from covetousness, and all wrong ends in following my business. Bless, Lord, the work of my hands. "May thy bounty so provide for me, as that I may not harm the world, or die in their debt. I hope thou wilt hear. "Never let any apprentice or servant dwell in my house, who shall never dwell with thee; and *The death of this young woman some time after gave him great distress. He speaks afterwards with the fullest confidence of her piety. let not the love of money make me chuse the workers of iniquity to be with me. "O look on Zion, Zion that is thine own! Remember thy promise, O God! and do her good. Heal her great breach for thy name's sake. * "Cause peace, concord, and love, to be in my family like a little river, and thy fear like a mighty stream. "Now, O Lord, in the hope that thou wilt hear, I lay all my petitions before thee. Chuse what thou wilt, cast away what thou wilt, I will be con tent. I commit myself to thee. I take thee as before, for my God and Father, for my Saviour, for my Sanctifier for ever. To all To all my former engage. ments I again subscribe, begging that thou wouldst provide for me, so that I may attend thine ordinances. O hear! And I desire in truth, O terrible Jehovah! to call these heavens over my head, the hills and mountains about me, the growing grass and corn, to be witnesses, that I this day subscribe with my hand to be, through good report and bad report, thine, even thine. Amen, amen. So be it. It is evident from this paper, that a year and a half after he had begun business as a surgeon, his original resolution of employing his business only as a temporary expedient to help him forward to the ministry, remained unaltered. Nor did he finally abandon this design till the year 1763, some time after his return from the navy. This was the constant subject of his prayers; this excited him to application to his business; to this his *The division which had lately before taken place in the Secession. |