« PreviousContinue »
A Unique Selection
MOST ADMIRED AND POPULAR
DRAMATIC SCENES, TALES, ODES, ORATIONS,
INFINITE VARIETY OF WIT, HUMOUR, AND FUN;
THE GENERAL RECITER.
THE YORKSHIREMAN AND HIS FAMILY. SEATED one day inside the Leeds Mail, a Yorkshireman came up and saluted the guard of the coach, with “I say, Mr. Guard, have you a gentleman for Lunnun in coach ? How should Í know?' said the guard. Well,' said he, 'I am ganging about four miles whoam, and I'll gang inside if you please, and then I can find him out mysen.' On being admitted into the coach, when seated, he addressed himself to the gentleman opposite, and said, “Pray Sir, arn't you for Lunnun? “Yes,' said the gentleman. "Pray Sir, arn't you summut at singing line ? What makes you ask ? said the gentleman. 'I hope no defence,' said he, ‘only, Sir, you mun know I'm building a mill, and in about three weeks I wants to have a sort of a house warming; and, as we are very musical in our parts—I plays the fiddle at church mysen, and my brother plays on a great long thing like a horse's leg painted, with a bit of brass crook stuck in the end, and puffs away like a pig in a fit; and as we have a vast of music meetings in our parts, I should like to open my mill with a rory tory, and wanted to ax you to come and sing at it.'
He then related a family anecdote :-you mun know, Sir, that my feyther died all on a sudden like, and never give any body notice he wur going to die, but he left his family in complete profusion; and when I found he wur dead, as I wur the eldest son, I thought I'd a right to all the money. I told neighbour so, but he said, that tho’ I wur the eldest son, I had no right to all the brass ; but I said I wur not only the eldest, but that I wur the handsomest into the bargain, for you never seed five such ugly, carrotty-headed devils among any litter of pigs, as my five brothers and sisters. So when I found they wanted to diddle me out of my intarnel estate, I determined to take the law at the top of the regicides.' 'And you applied to council no doubt,' said the gentleman. "Na, I didn't,' said he 'for I don't know him, I went to one Lawyer Lattitat and paid him six and eight-pence, all in good half-pence, and he wrote me down my destructions.' The gentleman read his destructions, as he called them, which