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SCENE I-Windsor. Before Page's house.
Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, and Sir1 Hugh


Eva. It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments' in that.

Shal. Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.

Eva. It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it: and there is also another device in my prain, which, peradventure, prings goot discretions

SIR Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-with it: there is Anne Page, which is daughter to

chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.

Slen. In the county of Gloster, justice of peace,

and coram.

master George Page, which is pretty virginity. Slen. Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair and speaks small like a woman.

Eva. It is that fery person for all the 'orld, as just as you will desire; and seven hundred pounds Shal. Ay, cousin Slender, and cust-alorum.2 Sten. Ay, and ratolorum too; and a gentleman upon his death's-bed (Got deliver to a joyful resur of monies, and gold, and silver, is her grandsire, born, master parson; who writes himself armigero; rections!) give, when she is able to overtake sevenin any bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, ar-teen years old: it were a goot motion, if we leave migero. between master Abraham, and mistress Anne our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage

Shal. Ay, that we do; and have done any time these three hundred years.

Slen. All his successors, gone before him, have done't; and all his ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen white luces in their


Shal. It is an old coat.

Eva. The dozen white louses do become an old
coat well; it agrees well, passant: it is a familiar
beast to man, and signifies-love.
Shal. The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is
an old coat.

Slen. I may quarter, coz?
Shal. You may, by marrying.

Eva. It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Shal. Not a whit.

Eva. Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures: but that is all one: if Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence, to make atonements and compromises between you.

Shal. The council shall hear it; it is a riot.

(1) A title formerly appropriated to chaplains. (2) Custos rotulorum.


Shal. Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred
Eva. Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
Shal. I know the young gentlewoman; she has
good gifts.

Eva. Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.

Shal. Well, let us see honest master Page: is Falstaff there?

Eva. Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar, as I do despise one that is false; or, as I despise one that is not true. The knight, sir John, is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. What, hoa! Got pless your house here! will peat the door [knocks] for master Page.


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der; that, peradventures, shall tell you another tale, understand: that is, master Page, fidelicet, master if matters grow to your likings. Page; and there is myself, fidelicet, myself; and the three party is, lastly and finally, me host of

Page. I am glad to see your worships well: I thank you for my venison, master Shallow.

Shal. Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart! I wished your venison better; it was ill killed:-how doth good mistress Page-and I love you always with my heart, la ; with my heart.

Page. Sir, I thank you.

Shal. Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. Page. I am glad to see you, good master Slender.

Slen. How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say, he was outrun on Cotsale.1

Page. It could not be judg'd, sir.

Slen. You'll not confess, you'll not confess. Shal. That he will not ;-tis your fault, 'tis your fault:-'tis a good dog.

Page. A cur, sir.

Shal. Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is good, and fair.-Is sir John Falstaff here?

Page. Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office between you.

the Garter.

Page. We three, to hear it, and end it between them.

Eva. Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will afterwards 'ork upon the cause, with as great discreetly as we can. Fal. Pistol,

Pist. He hears with ears.

Eva. The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, He hears with ear? Why, it is affectatious. Fal. Pistol, did you pick master Slender's purse? Slen. Ay, by these gloves, did he (or I would 1 might never come in mine own great chamber again else,) of seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards," that cost me two shilling and two pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.


Fal. Is this true, Pistol?

Eva. No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
Pist. Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!-Sir John,
and master mine,

combat challenge of this latten bilbo :
Word of denial in thy labras here;
Word of denial; froth and scum, thou liest.
Slen. By these gloves, then 'twas he.

Eva. It is spoke as a christians ought to speak. Shal. He hath wrong'd me, master Page. Page. Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. Shal. If it be confess'd, it is not redress'd; is not that so, master Page? he hath wrong'd me; in- I deed, he hath ;-at a word, he hath;-believe me;-nuthook'sio humour on me; that is the very note of it. Robert Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wrong'd. Page. Here comes Sir John.

Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol.

Fal. Now, master Shallow; you'll complain me to the king?


Shal. Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my lodge.

Fal. But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter. Shal. Tut, a pin! this shall be answer'd. Fal. I will answer it straight;-I have done all this: that is now answer'd.

Shal. The council shall know this. Fal. "Twere better for you, if it were known in counsel: you'll be laugh'd at.

Eva. Pauca verba, Sir John, good worts. Fal. Good worts !2 good cabbage.-Slender, I broke your head; what matter have you against me?

Slen. Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your coney-catching3 rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.

Bar. You Banbury cheese!4

Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Pist. How now, Mephostophilus ?"
Slen. Ay, it is no matter.

Nym. Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! that's my humour.

'Slen. Where's Simple, my man?-can you tell, cousin?

Nym. Be advised, sir, and pass good humours will say, marry trap, with you, if you run the

Slen. By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. Fal. What say you, Scarlet and John?

Bard. Why, sir, for my part, I say, the gentleman had drunk himself out of his five sentences. Eva. It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance


Bard. And being fap sir, was as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions pass'd the careires.1

Slen. Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick: if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.

Eva. So Got 'udge me, that is a virtuous mind. Fal. You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.

Enter Mistress Anne Page with wine; Mistress Ford and Mistress Page following.

Page. Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within. [Exit Anne Page. Slen. O heaven! this is mistress Anne Page. Page. How now, mistress Ford? Fal. Mistress Ford, by my treth, you are very well met: by your leave, good mistress.

[kissing her.

Page. Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome :Come, we have a hot venison pasty to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.

[Exeunt all but Shal. Slend. and Evans. Eva. Peace, I pray you! Now let us under- Slen. I had rather than forty shillings, I had my stand: there is three umpires in this matter, as I book of songs and sonnets here:

(7) King Edward's shillings, used in the game (2) Cotswold in Gloucestershire of all the cab-ofhuing Edu bage kind. (3) Sharpers. 5) The name of an ugly spirit. (6) Few words.

(4) Nothing but paring.

(9) Lips. (11) Drunk.

(8) Blade as thin as a lath. (10) If you say I am a thief. (12) The bounds of good behaviour.

Enter Simple.

Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, šit
Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am
Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.

How now, Simple! where have you been? I must very well.
wait on myself, must I? You have not The Book
of Riddles about you, have you?

Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth Sim. Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon it to Alice Shortcake, upon Allhallowmas last, a my cousin Shallow: (Exit Simple. A justice o fortnight afore Michaelmas ?1 peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man:-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.

Shal. Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz: marry, this, coz; there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by sir Hugh here;-do you understand me? Slen. Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be 50, I shall do that that is reason. Shal. Nay, but understand me. Slen. So I do, sir.

Era. Give ear to his motions, master Slender: I will description the matter to you, if you be capa

city of it.

Sen. Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.

Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.

Slen. Piaith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.

Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.

Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you! I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three vcneys' for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the

Era. But that is not the question; the question town? is concerning your marriage.

Shal. Ay, there's the point, sir.

Era. Marry, is it; the very point of it; to mistress Anne Page.

Slen. Why, if it be so, I will marry her, upon any reasonable demands.

Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.

Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England:-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.

Era. But can you affection the 'oman? Let us Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have command to know that of your mouth, or of your seen Sackerson loose, twenty times; and have lips; for divers philosophers hold, that the lips is taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the parcel of the mouth; therefore, precisely, can you women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it carry your good will to the maid? pass'd:4-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough things.

Shal. Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? Slen. I hope, sir,-I will do, as it shall become one that would do reason.

Eta, Nay, Go's lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable, if you can carry her your desires towards her.

Shal. That you must: will you, upon good dowry, marry her?

Slea. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.

Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz ; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz; Can you love the maid?

Re-enter Page.

Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; wo stay for you.

Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: come, come.

Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.

Page. Come on, sir.

Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.

Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not do you that wrong;

Anne. I pray you, sir.

Slen. I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaten may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than trouble. know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will some: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.

Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul' is in the 'ort dissolutely: the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely;-his meaning is good. Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well. Slen. Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la.

Re-enter Anne Page.

Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne:-Would
I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne!
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father
desires your worships' company.

Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.

Exeunt Shal. and Sir H. Evans.

(1) An intended blunder.
(2) Three set-to's, bouts or hits.


SCENE II.-The same. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.

Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.

Sim. Well, sir.

Eva. Nay, it is petter yet:give her this let ter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquain tance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Ann Page: I pray you, be gone; I will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins [Exeunt.

and cheese to come.

(3. The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Gar den, in Southwark.

(4) Surpassed all expression.

SCENE III-A room in the Garter Inn. Enter gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and

Fal. Mine host of the Garter,—

Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.

Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.

Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.

Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.

Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and
Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall
draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.

Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
Nym. I thank thee for that humour.

Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer, take all! the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reNym. I will run no base humour; here, take putation. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a wither-Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.ed serving-man, a fresh tapster: go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will Trudge, plod, away, o' the hoof; seck shelter, Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hail-stones, go; [Exit Bard. Pist. O base Gongarian1 wight! wilt thou the Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, pack! spigot wield? French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page. [Exeunt Falstaff and Robin. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,

Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.


Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.

Fal. I am glad, am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.

Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's


Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a fico2 for the phrase!

Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Pist. Why then let kibes ensue.

Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch;

I must shift.

Pist. Young ravens must have food.

Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.

Pist. Two yards, and more.

Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed, I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.

Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass?

Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels.

Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say I.

Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels.

Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view

(1) For Hungarian. (2) Fig. (3) Gold coin.
(4) Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
(5) Cleverly. (6) False dice.

Fal. Hold, strah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightly;

And high and low beguile the rich and poor:
Tester I'll have in pouch," when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk!

Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.

Pist. Wilt thou revenge?

By welkin, and her star!

Pist. With wit, or steel?

I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
Pist. And I to Ford shall eke unfold,

With both the humours, I,

How Falstaff, varlet vile,

His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
And his soft couch defile.

Nym. My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison; will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mien is dangerous : that is my true humour.


Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents: I second thee; troop on. [Exeunt.

SCENE IV.-A room in Dr. Caius' house. Enter
Mrs. Quickly, Simple, and Rugby.

to the casement, and see if you can see my master,
Quick. What: John Rugby!-I pray thee, go
find any body in the house, here will be an old
master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i'faith, and
abusing of God's patience, and the king's English.
Rug. I'll go watch.
[Exit Rugby.

Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate: 10 his worst fault is, that way; but nobody but has his fault ;-but let that he is given to prayer; he is something peevishi that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick. And master Slender's your master?

(7) Sixpence I'll have in pocket.
(8) Instigate. (9) Jealousy.
(11) Foolish.

(10) Strife.

Sim. Ay, forsooth.

Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, | like a glover's paring-knife?

for my master, in the way of marriage. Quick. This is all, indeed, la; but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire, and need not. Sim. No forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, Caius. Sir Hugh send-a you?-Rugby, baillez with a little yellow beard; a Cain-coloured beard. me some paper:-Tarry you a little-a while. Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not? [writes. Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of Quick. I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been his hands, as any is between this and his head: he thoroughly moved, you should have heard him so hath fought with a warrener.2 loud, and so melancholy ;-but notwithstanding, Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember man, I'll do your master what good I can: and, him; does he not hold up his head, as it were ? and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my strut in his gait ? master,-I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself; —

Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.

Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl, and wish

Re-enter Rugby.


Sim. 'Tis a great charge, to come under one bod: 's hand.

Quick. Are you advis'd o' that? you shall find 't a great charge: and to be up early, and down late ;but notwithstanding (to tell you in your ear; I would have no words of it;) my master himself is in love with mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,-that's neither here nor there.

Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master. Quick. We shall all be shent: run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts Simple in the closet. He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say!-Go, John, go Caius. You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to sir inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I vill cut his troat that he comes not home :-and down, down, in de park; and I vill teach a scurvy jack-a-nape adown-a, &c. [Sings. priest to meddle or make:-you may be gone; it is not good you tarry here:-by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to trow at his dog. [Exit Simple. Quick. Alas, he speaks but for his friend. Caius. It is no matter-a for dat:-do not you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? --by gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have ap pointed mine host of de Jarterre to measure our weapon:-by gar, I vill myself have Anne Page.

Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a green-a box; do intend vat I speak ? a green-a box.

Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad. [Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la cour,-la grand afaire.

Quick. Is it this, sir?

Cai is. Ouy; mette le au mon pocket; depeche,
quickly:-Vere is dat knave Rugby!
Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
Rug. Here, sir.

Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.

Rug. 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

Calus. By my trot, I tarry too long:-Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublié ? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.

Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.

Caius. O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?— Villany! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] Rugby,| my rapier.

Quick. Good master, be content.

Caius. Verefore shall I be content-a? Quick. The young man is an honest man. Caius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet. Quick. I beseech you, be not so flegmatic; hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to me from parson Hugh.

Caius. Vell.

Sim. Ay, forsooth, to desire her to-
Quick. Peace, I pray you.

Caius. Peace-a your tongue:-Speak-a your tale.
Sim. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your
maid, to speak a good word to mistress Anne Page,
(1) Brave. (2) The keeper of a warren.
(3) Scolded, reprimanded.

Quick. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well: we must give folks leave to prate: What, the good-jer!4

Caius. Rugby, come to the court vit me;-by gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my door:-Follow my heels, Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby.

Quick. You shall have An fools-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.

Fent. [Within.] Who's within there, ho? Quick. Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.

Enter Fenton.

Fent. How now, good woman; how dost thou ? Quick. The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.

Fent. What news? how does pretty mistress Anne?

Quick. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it. Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

Quick. Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but notwithstanding, master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you:-Have not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale ;—good faith,

(4) The goujere, what the pox!

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