Which would be great impeachment1 to his age, Whereon this month I have been hammering. And perfected by the swift course of time: Ant. I know it well. Pant. 'Twere good, I think, your lordship sent him thither: There shall he practise tilts and tournaments, Hear sweet discourse, converse with noblemen; And be in eye of every exercise, Worthy his youth and nobleness of birth. Ant. I like thy counsel; well hast thou advis'd: And, that thou may'st perceive how well I like it, The execution of it shall make known; Even with the speediest execution I will despatch him to the emperor's court. Come on, Panthino; you shall be employ'd [Exeunt Ant. and Pant. Pro. Thus have I shunn'd the fire, for fear of burning; And drench'd me in the sea, where I am drown'd: The uncertain glory of an April day; Pant. To-morrow, may it please you, Don Al- SCENE I.-Milan. An apartment in the Duke's phonso, With other gentlemen of good esteem, Are journeying to salute the emperor, And to commend their service to his will. Ant. Good company: with them shall Proteus go: And, in good time,-now will we break with him. How happily he lives, how well belov'd, And not depending on his friendly wish. Ant. My will is something sorted with his wish: Muse not that I thus suddenly proceed; For what I will, I will, and there an end. I am resolv'd, that thou shalt spend some time With Valentinus in the emperor's court; What maintenance he from his friends receives, Like exhibition thou shalt have from me. To-morrow be in readiness to go: Excuse it not, for I am peremptory. Pro. My lord, I cannot be so soon provided; Please you, deliberate a day or two. Ant. Look, what thou want'st, shall be sent after thee: No more of stay; to-morrow thou must go. (1) Reproach. (2) Break the matter to him. palace. Enter Valentine and Speed. Speed. Sir, your glove. Val. Not mine; my gloves are on. Speed. Why then this may be yours, for this is but one. Val. Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it's mine :- Speed. Madam Silvia! madam Silvia! Speed. She is not within hearing, sir. slow. Val. Go to, sir; tell me, do you know madam Silvia? Speed. She that your worship loves ? Val. Why, how know you that I am in love? Speed. Marry, by these special marks: First, you have learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreath your arms like a male-content; to relish a love-song, like a robin-red-breast; to walk alone, like one that had the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had lost his A. B. C.; to weep, like a young wench that had buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes diet; to watch, like one that fears robbing; to speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. were wont, when you laugh'd, to crow like a cock; when you walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look on you, I can hardly think you my master. Val. Are all these things perceived in me? You Speed. Without you? nay, that's certain, for, without you were so simple, none else would: but you are so without these follies, that these follies are within you, and shine through you like the water in a urinal; that not an eye, that sees you, but is a physician to comment on your malady. Val. Hast thou observ'd that? even she I mean. Val. Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'st her not? Speed. Is she not hard-favour'd, sir? Speed. That she is not so fair, as (of you) well favoured. Val. I mean, that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite. Speed. That's because the one is painted, and the other out of all count. Val. How painted? and how out of count? Speed. Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no man counts of her beauty. Fal. How esteemest thou me? I account of her beauty. Speed. You never saw her since she was deformed. Val. How long hath she been deformed? Val. I have loved her ever since I saw her, and still I see her beautiful. Speed. If you love her, you cannot see her. Val. Why? pains? Val. No, madam; so it stead you, I will write, Sil. A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel; Val. What means your ladyship? do you not Sil. Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ: Val. Madam, they are for you. Sil. Ay, ay; you writ them, sir, at my request: But I will none of them; they are for you: Val. Please you, I'll write your ladyship another. And, if it please you, so; if not, why, so. Val. If it please me, madam! what then? Sil. Why, if it please you, take it for your labour: [Exit Silvia. Speed. Because love is blind. O, that you had And so good morrow, servant. mine eyes; or your own had the lights they were Speed. O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible, wont to have, when you chid at Sir Proteus for As a nose on a man's face, or a weathercock on a going ungartered! Val. What should I see then? steeple! My master sues to her; and she hath taught her suitor, Speed. Your own present folly, and her passing deformity: for he, being in love, could not see to He being her pupil, to become her tutor. garter his hose; and you, being in love, cannot see O excellent device! was there ever heard a better? to put on your hose. Val. Belike, boy, then you are in love; for last morning you could not see to wipe my shoes. Speed. True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you, you swinged me for my love, which makes me the bolder to chide you for yours. Val. In conclusion, I stand affected to her. Speed. I would you were set; so, your affection would cease. That my master, being scribe, to himself should write the letter? Act II. Or fearing else some messenger, that might her so. Now come I to my father; Father, your blessmind discover, ing; now should not the shoe speak a word for Herself hath taught her love himself to write weeping; now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on:-now come I to my mother, (O, that she could speak now!) like a wood woman; well, I up and down: now come I to my sister; mark the moan she makes: now the dog all this while sheds unto her lover. All this I speak in print; for in print I found it. - kiss her; -why there 'tis; here's my mother's breath Speed. Ay, but hearken, sir: though the came-not a tear, nor speaks a word; but see how I lay leon, Love, can feed on the air, I am one that aim the dust with my tears. nourished by my victuals, and would fain have meat: O, be not like your mistress; be moved, be moved. [Exeunt. Enter Panthino. Pan. Launce, away, away, aboard; the master is shipped, and thou art to post after with oars. What's the matter? why weepest thou, man? Away, ass; you will lose the tide, if you tarry any longer. Laun. It is no matter if the ty'd were lost; for it is the unkindest ty'd that ever any man ty'd. Pan. What's the unkindest tide? Laun. Why, he that's ty'd here; Crab, my dog. Pan. Tut, man, I mean thoul't lose the flood; and, in losing the flood, lose thy voyage; and, in losing thy voyage, lose thy master; and, in losing thy master, lose thy service; and, in losing thy service, Why dost thou stop my mouth! Laun. For fear thou should'st lose thy tongue. Laun. Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the service? The tide!-why, man, if the river were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs. Pan. Come, come away, man; I was sent to call thee. Laun. Sir, call me what thou darest. Laun. Well, I will go. [Exeunt. SCENE IV. -Milan. An apartment in the Duke's palace. Enter Valentine, Silvia, Thurio, and Speed. Sil. Servant Val. Mistress? Speed. Master, Sir Thurio frowns on you. Val. Of my mistress then. Val. Indeed, madam, I seem so. Haply, I do. Thu. So do counterfeits. Thu. What instance of the contrary? Launce, Nay, 'twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the kind of the Launces have this very fault: I have received my proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir Proteus to the Imperial's court. I think, Crab my dog be the sourest-natured dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father wailing, my sister crying, our maid howl-Fal. ing, our cat wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity, yet did not this cruel-hearted, cur shed one tear: he is a stone, a very pebblestone, and has no more pity in him than a dog: a Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why, my grandam having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at my parting. Nay, I'll show you the manner of it: This shoe is my father; -no, this left shoe is my father; -no, no, this left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so neither; -yes, it is so, it is so: it hath the worser sole: this shoc, with the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father: al vengeance on't! there'tis: now, sir, this staff is my sister; for, look you, she is as white as a lily, and as small as a wand: this hat is Nan, our maid; I am the dog:-no, the dog is himself, and I am the dog.-0, the dog is me, and I am myself; ay, so, (2) Crazy, distracted. (1) Kindred. Thu. And how quotes you my folly ? Thu. How? Sil. What, angry, sir Thurio? do you change colour? Val. Give him leave, madam; he is a kind of cameleon. Thu. That hath more mind to feed on your blood, than live in your air. (3) Serious. (4) Perhaps. (5) Observe. Val. You have said, sir. Thu. Ay, sir, and done too, for this time. Val. I know it well, sir; you always end ere you Upon some other pawn for fealty. begin. Sil. A fine volley of words, gentlemen, and quickly shot off. Val. 'Tis indeed, madam; we thank the giver. Sil. Who is that, servant? Val. Yourself, sweet lady; for you gave the fire: Sir Thurio borrows his wit from your ladyship's looks, and spends what he borrows, kindly in your company. Thu. Sir, if you spend word for word with me, I shall make your wit bankrupt. Val. I know it well, sir: you have an exchequer of words, and, I think, no other treasure to give your followers; for it appears by their bare liveries, that they live by your bare words. Sil. No more, gentlemen, no more; here comes my father. fancy We have convers'd, and spent our hours together: To clothe mine age with angel-like perfection; Dake. Beshrew1 me, sir, but, if he make this good, He is as worthy for an empress' love, he. Val. Should I have wish'd a thing, it had been Duke. Welcome him then according to his worth; Silvia, I speak to you; and you, Sir Thurio:- Had come along with me, but that his mistress (1) III betide. (2) Incite. Val. Nay, sure, I think, she holds them priso ners still. Sil. Have done, have done; here comes the gentleman. Val. Welcome, dear Proteus!-Mistress, I beseech you, Confirm his welcome with some special favour. Sil. His worth is warrant for his welcome hither, If this be he you oft have wish'd to hear from. Val. Mistress, it is: sweet lady, entertain him To be my fellow-servant to your ladyship. Sil. Too low a mistress for so high a servant. Pro. Not so, sweet lady; but too mean a servant To have a look of such a worthy mistress. Val. Leave off discourse of disability:Sweet lady, entertain him for your servant. Pro. My duty will I boast of, nothing else. Sil. And duty never yet did want his meed; Servant, you are welcome to a worthless mistress. Pro. I'll die on him that says so, but yourself. Sil. That you are welcome? Pro. No; that you are worthless. Enter Servant. Ser. Madam, my lord your father would speak with you. Sil. I'll wait upon his pleasure. [Exit Servant. Come, Sir Thurio, Go with me:-Once more, new servant, welcome: I'll leave you to confer of home affairs; When you have done, we look to hear from you. Pro. We'll both attend upon your ladyship. [Exeunt Silvia, Thurio, and Speed. Val. Now, tell me, how do all from whence you came? Pro. Your friends are well, and have them much commended. Val. And how do yours? I left them all in health. Val. How does your lady? and how thrives your love? Pro. My tales of love were wont to weary you.. I know, you joy not in a love-discourse. Val. Ay, Proteus, but that life is alter'd now: I have done penance for contemning love; Whose high imperious thoughts have punish'd me With bitter fasts, with penitential groans, With nightly tears, and daily heart-sore sighs; For, in revenge of my contempt of love, Love hath chas'd sleep from my enthralled eves, And made them watchers of mine own heart's sor row. O, gentle Proteus, love's a mighty lord; Pro. Enough; I read vour fortune in your eye. Was this the idol that you worship so? Pro. I will not flatter her. Val. O, flatter me; for love delights in praises. Pro. When I was sick, you gave me bitter pills; And I must minister the like to you. Val. Then speak the truth by her; if not divine, Yet let her be a principality, Sovereign to all the creatures on the earth. Pro. Except my mistress. Val. Sweet, except not any; Except thou wilt except against my love. Pro. Have I not reason to prefer mine own? Val. And I will help thee to prefer her too: She shall be dignified with this high honour, To bear my lady's train: lest the base earth Should from her vesture chance to steal a kiss, And, of so great a favour growing proud, Disdain to root the summer-swelling flower, And make rough winter everlasting. Pro. Why, Valentine, what braggardism is this? Val. Pardon me, Proteus: all I can, is nothing To her, whose worth makes other worthies nothing; She is alone. Pro. Then let her alone. But when I look on her perfections, There is no reason but I shall be blind. If I can check my erring love, I will; If not, to compass her I'll use my skill. [Exit. SCENE V.-The same. A street. Enter Speed and Launce. Speed. Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan. Laun. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth; for I am not welcome. I reckon this always-that a man is never undone, till he be hanged; nor never welcome to a place, till some certain shot be paid, and the hostess say, welcome. Speed. Come on, you mad-cap, I'll to the alehouse with you presently; where for one shot of five pence, thou shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master part with madam Julia. Laun. Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very fairly in jest. Speed. But shall she marry him? Speed. How then? shall he marry her? Val. Not for the world: why, man, she is mine Speed. What, are they broken? own; And I as rich in having such a jewel, As twenty seas, if all their sana were pearl, The water nectar, and the rocks pure gold. Forgive me, that I do not dream on thee, Because thou seest me dote upon my love. My foolish rival, that her father likes, Only for his possessions are so huge, Is gone with her along; and I must after, For love, thou know'st, is full of jealousy. Pro. But she loves you? Val. Ay, and we are betroth'd; Nay, more, our marriage hour, Pro. Go on before; I shall inquire you forth: And then I'll presently attend you. Val. Will you make haste? Laun. No, they are both as whole as a fish. Speed. Why then, how stands the matter with them? Laun. Marry, thus; when it stands well with him, it stands well with her. Speed. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. Laun. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff understands me. Speed. What thou say'st? Laun. Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I'II but lean, and my staff understands me. Speed. It stands under thee, indeed. Laun. Why, stand under and understand is all one. Speed. But tell me true, will't be a match? Laun. Ask my dog: if he say, ay, it will; if he say, no, it will; if he shake his tail, and say nothing, it will. Speed. The conclusion is then, that it will. Laun. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me, but by a parable. Speed. 'Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say'st thou, that my master is become a nota [Exit Val. ble lover? Even as one heat another heat expels, (1) On further knowledge. Laun. I never knew him otherwise. Laun. A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. |