you shall have a sermon whether there be or not."-"That is what I expect," | returned she; "but I think, my dear, we ought to appear there as decently as possible, for who knows what may happen?" "Your precautions," replied I, are highly commendable. A decent behaviour and appearance in church is what charms me. We should be devout and humble, cheerful and serene."-"Yes," cried she, "I know that; but I mean we should go there in as proper a manner as possible; not altogether like the scrubs about us." "You are quite right, my dear," returned I, "and I was going to make the very same proposal. The proper manner of going is to go there as early as possible, to have time for meditation before the service begins."" Phoo, Charles," interrupted she, "all that is very true; but not what I would be at: I mean, we should go there genteelly. You know the church is two miles off, and I protest I don't like to see my daughters trudging up to their pew all blowzed and red with walking, and looking for all the world as if they had been winners at a smock race. Now, my dear, my proposal is this: there are our two plough horses, the colt that has been in our family these nine years, and his companion Blackberry, that has scarcely done an earthly thing for this month past. They are both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do something as well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a little, they will cut a very tolerable figure."

To this proposal I objected that walking would be twenty times more genteel than such a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the colt wanted a tail; that they had never been broke to the rein, but had a hundred vicious tricks; and that we had but one saddle and pillion in the whole house. All these objections, however, were overruled; so that I was obliged to comply. The next morning I perceived them not a little busy in collecting such materials as might be necessary for the expedition; but, as I found it would be a business of time, I walked on to the church before, and they promised speedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading desk for their arrival; but not

finding them come as I expected, I obliged to begin, and went through... service, not without some uneasiness finding them absent. This was increzz when all was finished, and no appear of the family. I therefore walked back the horse-way, which was five miles re though the footway was but two, and, wi got about half-way home, perceived: procession marching slowly forward wards the church; my son, my wife, the two little ones exalted on one h and my two daughters upon the other demanded the cause of their delay: I soon found by their looks they hadr with a thousand misfortunes on the The horses had at first refused to from the door, till Mr. Burchell was k enough to beat them forward for two hundred yards with his cudgel. Y! the straps of my wife's pillion broke d and they were obliged to stop to r them before they could proceed. A that, one of the horses took it into head to stand still, and neither blows: entreaties could prevail with him to ceed. He was just recovering from: dismal situation when I found them; perceiving everything safe, I own present mortification did not much please me, as it would give me many portunities of future triumph, and t my daughters more humility.

CHAPTER XI.

Mr. Burchell, who was of the party, as always fond of seeing some innocent nusement going forward, and set the ys and girls to blind man's buff. My fe, too, was persuaded to join in the version, and it gave me pleasure to think e was not yet too old. In the meantime, y neighbour and I looked on, laughed every feat, and praised our own dexterity Then we were young. Hot cockles suceded next, questions and commands folwed that, and, last of all, they sat down hunt the slipper. As every person may t be acquainted with this primeval pasne, it may be necessary to observe, that e company in this play plant themselves a ring upon the ground, all except one, no stands in the middle, whose business is to catch a shoe, which the company ove about under their hams from one to other, something like a weaver's shuttle. s it is impossible, in this case, for the dy who is up to face all the company at ice, the great beauty of the play lies in tting her a thump with the heel of the oe on that side least capable of making defence. It was in this manner that y eldest daughter was hemmed in, and umped about, all blowzed, in spirits, and wling for "fair play" with a voice that ight deafen a ballad-singer; when, consion on confusion! who should enter e room but our two great acquaintices from town, Lady Blarney and Miss arolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs! escription would but beggar, therefore is unnecessary to describe, this new ortification. Death! To be seen by ladies such high breeding in such vulgar attides! Nothing better could ensue from ach a vulgar play of Mr. Flamborough's oposing. We seemed stuck to the round for some time, as if actually etrified with amazement.

The two ladies had been at our house see us, and finding us from home, came ter us hither, as they were uneasy to now what accident could have kept us om church the day before. Olivia dertook to be our prolocutor, and dewered the whole in a summary way, only ying, "We were thrown from our rses.' At which account the ladies ere greatly concerned; but being told

the family received no hurt, they were extremely glad; but being informed that we were almost killed by the fright, they were vastly sorry; but hearing that we had a very good night, they were extremely glad again. Nothing could exceed their complaisance to my daughters: their professions the last evening were warm, but now they were ardent. They protested a desire of having a more lasting acquaintance. Lady Blarney was particularly attached to Olivia; Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs (I love to give the whole name) took a greater fancy to her sister. They supported the conversation between themselves, while my daughters sat silent, admiring their exalted breeding. But as every reader, however beggarly himself, is fond of high-lived dialogues, with anecdotes of lords, ladies, and knights of the Garter, I must beg leave to give him the concluding part of the present conversation.

"All that I know of the matter," cried Miss Skeggs, "is this, that it may be true or may not be true; but this I can assure your Ladyship, that the whole rout was in

amaze : his Lordship turned all manner of colours, my Lady fell into a sound, but Sir Tomkyn drawing his sword, swore he was hers to the last drop of his blood."

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'Well," replied our Peeress, "this I can say, that the Duchess never told me a syllable of the matter, and I believe her Grace would keep nothing a secret from me. This you may depend upon as fact, that the next morning my Lord Duke cried out three times to his valet-dechambre, Jernigan! Jernigan! Jernigan! bring me my garters.'

But previously I should have mentioned the very impolite behaviour of Mr. Burchell, who, during this discourse, sat with his face turned to the fire, and, at the conclusion of every sentence, would cry out "Fudge !" an expression which displeased us all, and, in some measure, damped the rising spirit of the conversation.

"Besides, my dear Skeggs," continued our Peeress, "there is nothing of this in the copy of verses that Dr. Burdock made upon the occasion."-"Fudge !"

"I am surprised at that," cried Miss

Skeggs; "for he seldom leaves anything out, as he writes only for his own amusement. But can your Ladyship favour me with a sight of them?"-"Fudge!" "My dear creature," replied our Peeress, "do you think I carry such things about me? Though they are very fine, to be sure, and I think myself something of a judge-at least I know what pleases my self. Indeed, I was ever an admirer of all Dr. Burdock's little pieces; for, except what he does, and our dear Countess at Hanover Square, there's nothing comes out but the most lowest stuff in nature; not a bit of high life among them.""Fudge!"

"Your Ladyship should except," says the other, "your own things in the Lady's Magazine. I hope you'll say there's nothing low-lived there? But I suppose we are to have no more from that quarter?"-"Fudge!"

'Why, my dear," says the lady, "you know my reader and companion has left me, to be married to Captain Roach, and as my poor eyes won't suffer me to write myself, I have been for some time looking out for another. A proper person is no easy matter to find; and, to be sure, thirty pounds a year is a small stipend for a well bred girl of character, that can read, write, and behave in company: as for the chits about town, there is no bearing them about one."-" Fudge !

"That I know," cried Miss Skeggs, "by experience. For of the three companions I had this last half year, one of them refused to do plain work an hour in the day; another thought twenty-five guineas a year too small a salary; and I was obliged to send away the third, because I suspected an intrigue with the chaplain. Virtue, my dear Lady Blarney, virtue is worth any price; but where is that to be found?""Fudge!"

My wife had been, for a long time, all attention to this discourse, but was particularly struck with the latter part of it. Thirty pounds and twenty-five guineas a year, made fifty-six pounds five shillings English money, all which was in a manner going a begging, and might easily be secured in the family. She for a moment studied my looks for approbation; and, to

own a truth, I was of opinion, that t such places would fit our two daught exactly. Besides, if the Squire had real affection for my eldest daughter, : would be the way to make her every qualified for her fortune. My wife, the fore, was resolved that we should not deprived of such advantages for want assurance, and undertook to harangue the family. "I hope," cried she, ladyships will pardon my present presu tion. It is true, we have no right to p tend to such favours; but yet it is nat for me to wish putting my children forw in the world. And, I will be bold to s my two girls have had a pretty good eda tion and capacity; at least the coun can't show better. They can read, wr and cast accompts; they understa their needle, broadstitch, cross and char and all manner of plain work; they pink, point, and frill, and know someth of music; they can do up small cloth and work upon catgut; my eldest car paper, and my youngest has a very pro manner of telling fortunes upon the cards -“Fudge!"

When she had delivered this pretty pi of eloquence, the two ladies looked at ca other a few minutes in silence, with an of doubt and importance. At last M Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs, descended to observe, that the young lady from the opinion she could form of the from so slight an acquaintance, seen very fit for such employments. thing of this kind, madam,” cried addressing my spouse, "requires a rough examination into characters, and more perfect knowledge of each othe Not, madam," continued she, "that I the least suspect the young ladies' virt prudence, and discretion; but there is form in these things, madam-there is form."

My wife approved her suspicions much, observing that she was very ap be suspicious herself, but referred her all the neighbours for a character; this our Peeress declined as unnecessa alleging that our cousin Thornhill's recur mendation would be sufficient; and up this we rested our petition.

2

CHAPTER XII.

Fortune seems resolved to humble the Family of Wakefield. Mortifications are often more painful than real Calamities.

WHEN We were returned home, the night was dedicated to schemes of future conquest. Deborah exerted much sagacity in conjecturing which of the two girls was likely to have the best place, and most opportunities of seeing good company. The only obstacle to our preferment was in obtaining the Squire's recommendation; but he had already shown us too many instances of his friendship to doubt of it now. Even in bed, my wife kept up the asual theme: "Well, faith, my dear Charles, between ourselves, I think we nave made an excellent day's work of it." "Pretty well!" cried I, not knowing what to say. "What, only pretty well!" returned she: "I think it is very well. Suppose the girls should come to make acquaintances of taste in town! This I am assured of, that London is the only place in the world for all manner of husbands. Besides, my dear, stranger things happen every day: and as ladies of quality are so taken with my daughters, what will not men of quality be? Entre nous, I protest I like my Lady Blarney vastly so very obliging. However, Miss Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Skeggs has my warm heart. But yet, when they came to talk of places in town, you saw at once how I nailed them. Tell me, my dear, don't you think I did for my children there?" Ay," returned I, not knowing well what to think of the matter; "Heaven grant they may be both the better for it this day three months!" This was one of those observations I usually made to impress my wife with an opinion of my sagacity for if the girls succeeded, then it was a pious wish fulfilled; but if any thing unfortunate ensued, then it might be looked upon as a prophecy. All this conversation, however, was only preparatory to another scheme; and indeed I dreaded as much. This was nothing less than that, as we were now to hold up our heads a little higher in the world, it would be proper to sell the colt, which was grown old, at a neighbouring fair, and buy us a horse

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As I had some opinion of my son's prudence, I was willing enough to entrust him with this commission: and the next morning I perceived his sisters mighty busy in fitting out Moses for the fair; trimming his hair, brushing his buckles, and cocking his hat with pins. The business of the toilet being over, we had at last the satisfaction of seeing him mounted upon the colt, with a deal box before him to bring home groceries in. He had on a

coat made of that cloth they call thunderand-lightning, which, though grown too short, was much too good to be thrown away. His waistcoat was of gosling green, and his sisters had tied his hair with a broad black riband. We all followed him several paces from the door, bawling after him, "Good luck! good luck!" till we could see him no longer.

He was scarce gone, when Mr. Thornhill's butler came to congratulate us upon our good fortune, saying that he overheard his young master mention our names with great commendation.

Good fortune seemed resolved not to come alone. Another footman from the same family followed, with a card for my daughters, importing that the two ladies had received such pleasing accounts from Mr. Thornhill of us all, that after a few previous inquiries they hoped to be perfectly satisfied. "Ay," cried my wife, "I now see it is no easy matter to get into the families of the great; but when one once gets in, then, as Moses says, one may go

to sleep." To this piece of humour, for she intended it for wit, my daughters assented with a loud laugh of pleasure. In short, such was her satisfaction at this message, that she actually put her hand in her pocket, and gave the messenger sevenpence halfpenny.

This was to be our visiting day. The next that came was Mr. Burchell, who had been at the fair. He brought my little ones a pennyworth of gingerbread each, which my wife undertook to keep for them, and give them by letters at a time. He brought my daughters also a couple of boxes, in which they might keep wafers, snuff, patches, or even money, when they got it. My wife was usually fond of a weasel-skin purse, as being the most lucky; but this by the by. We had still a regard for Mr. Burchell, though his late rude behaviour was in some measure displeasing; nor could we now avoid communicating our happiness to him, and asking his advice: although we seldom followed advice, we were all ready enough to ask it. When he read the note from the two ladies, he shook his head, and observed, that an affair of this sort demanded the utmost circumspection. This air of diffidence highly displeased my wife. "I never doubted, sir," cried she, "your readiness to be against my daughters and me. You have more circumspection than is wanted. However, I fancy when we come to ask advice, we will apply to persons who seem to have made use of it themselves.""Whatever my own conduct may have been, madam," replied he, "is not the present question: though, as I have made no use of advice myself, I should in conscience give it to those that will." As I was apprehensive this answer might draw on a repartee, making up by abuse what it wanted in wit, I changed the subject, by seeming to wonder what could keep our son so long at the fair, as it was now almost nightfall. Never mind our son,' cried my wife; "depend upon it he knows what he is about. I'll warrant we'll never see him sell his hen of a rainy day. I have seen him buy such bargains as would amaze one. I'll tell you a good story about that, that will make you split your sides with laughing. But, as I live,

yonder comes Moses, without a hors and the box at his back."

As she spoke, Moses came slowly foot, and sweating under the deal b which he had strapt round his shoulde like a pedlar. Welcome, welcom Moses! well, my boy, what have y brought us from the fair?"-"I h brought you myself," cried Moses, wi sly look, and resting the box on dresser. Ay, Moses," cried my "that we know; but where is the horse

"I have sold him," cried Moses, three pounds five shillings and pence.' "Well done, my good be returned she; "I knew you would to them off. Between ourselves, th pounds five shillings and twopence is bad day's work. Come, let us have then."-"I have brought back no mone cried Moses again. "I have laid it out in a bargain, and here it is," pul out a bundle from his breast : “here th are; a gross of green spectacles, silver rims and shagreen cases.' Ag of green spectacles!" repeated my w in a faint voice. "And you have part with the colt, and brought us b nothing but a gross of green paltry sp tacles!"-" Dear mother," cried the b 'why won't you listen to reason? I them a dead bargain, or I should have brought them. The silver ri alone will sell for double the money.

A fig for the silver rims," cried wife, in a passion: "I dare swear the won't sell for above half the money at thi rate of broken silver, five shillings i ounce."-"You need be under no uneasi ness," cried I, "about selling the ri for they are not worth sixpence; for perceive they are only copper varnish "What!" cried my wife, "

over.

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silver! the rims not silver?"-"No cried I, no more silver than your sauc pan.' "And so," returned she, have parted with the colt, and have on got a gross of green spectacles, copper rims and shagreen cases? A mu rain take such trumpery! The blockhea has been imposed upon, and should ha known his company better.”—“Ther my dear," cried I, you are wrong; should not have known them at all."