THE COMMISSIONERS.

BY DR. DELANY.

ONE evening, about the beginning of July, our old friends, Heigarth and Flummery, were seated together and talking over the best way of spending a week or two in the country during the dog-days, when Swipes joined them, and settled the discussion by propounding a plan of his own.

"I have just this day," said he, "received a commission from an old gentleman named Campbell, to investigate his claim as heir to the Ochilgottle estates in the Highlands. The last chief died lately, leaving no legitimate issue. A host of claimants have appeared; in fact, the 'Campbells are coming' from all quarters to assert their rights, and amongst them my client, who, between ourselves, is an old fool, and has no chance as far as I can see in the mean time. Now, since you are bent upon an excursion somewhere, suppose you join me in a ramble through the Highlands. My business is not of such a pressing nature as to interfere with fun and frolic."

"Good!" said Heigarth; "I like the idea very much, and, while you look to business, Flummery and I shall consider ourselves commissioners appointed to inquire into the character of the scenery and the morals of the people."

"And suppose," said Flummery, "I take the office of clerk to the commission, and keep a faithful narrative of our proceedings."

66

Agreed," said Swipes. "And now let us resolve ourselves into a committee of ways and means, and settle all preliminary matters."

A few days afterwards our friends started, and one fine morning found themselves in the ancient and romantic town of Stirling. As they passed along the streets looking for a quiet snug inn where they might breakfast, any person with half an eye could see that they were not sham tourists. They were not equipped, as is frequently the case with English travellers, in clan tartans and Glengarry bonnets, neither were they encumbered with a mass of useless luggage. Our friends had no affectation of the Highlandman about them, and were too well acquainted with pedestrian tours to burden themselves with anything else than a change of linen and stockings, which they easily managed to stow away in the pockets of their frock-coats. To these articles Swipes added a flask, capable of holding a pint of "mountain dew," an indispensable companion for all who journey in the Highlands, where inns are few and landlords greedy.

After breakfasting in one of those old-fashioned places, which are fast growing out of repute since the introduction of railway hotels, they visited a friend who was established as a surgeon and doing well, at least he was making money, and curing fully fifty per cent. of his patients. Dr. PillDox received our commissioners with great warmth, and introduced them into his sanctum—the back shop-a snug sort of place, although its furniture was of a dingy character. In the middle of the apartment stood a large consulting table, upon which all kinds of medical instruments were carelessly scattered, and mixed up with decayed teeth and fragments of bones. A bookcase in one corner contained a goodly array of professional and classical works. An old sofa beside it did duty chiefly as a litter for

newspapers, pamphlets, and the miscellaneous articles belonging to the sons of Esculapius. Place half-a-dozen cane-bottomed chairs here and there, and you have the room completely furnished. Upon the mantelpiece, among lotion bottles, lay a quantity of tobacco and several long pipes, one of which Pillbox lighted, and desired his visitors to follow his example.

How

"I'm glad to find, doctor, you have succeeded here," said Heigarth; "I always thought it difficult to establish oneself in a small town. the deuce did you manage it?"

"Faith, it was uphill work at first. For a long time I had scarcely a patient, although I tried every scheme to attract attention. I arranged my shop as neatly as possible, put strong lights in my windows, advertised 'Lately from Paris,' Advice to the poor gratis.' Then I dressed better than any man in town, superfine black, white choker, Parisian hat, and silver mounted ebony cane. It would not do, sir. In despair, I thought of emigrating, or doing something equally desperate, when one day it suddenly occurred to me that I should make myself a public man. Well, I commenced by attending all respectable meetings, spoke frequently, got elected upon committees, and now and then formed one of a deputation. By-and-by, I came boldly forth as a man of progress, talked of sanitary reform, the education of the masses, public baths and recreations for the million, wrote letters to Lord Ashley, published his answers, and threw off newspaper articles full of the spirit of the age and social progress. I now found business flowing in. Whenever there was a difficult case it was, 'Send for Pillbox ;' Pillbox is the only man.' Finding I was now on the right track, I extended my exertions by lecturing on chemistry, electricity, and galvanism; and when the potato blight appeared, I gave three lectures on the pathology of the disease, and had for an audience half the farmers in the county. But the grandest stroke of all was opening that back door, which introduced a tremendous practice. I don't care now who opposes me, for my reputation is thoroughly established."

"You deserve great credit, doctor," said Swipes; "had I been in your place I would have given up in despair, and taken to drinking." "Much good that would have done you," answered Pillbox. "I might have succeeded in another way, but the path was too slimy for me." "What mean you?" asked Flummery.

"Oh, simply by attending church constantly, and wrapping myself in a mantle of religion. There is a good deal of cant here, as well as in other Scotch towns; and if you bow to it, you are certain of rising in the estimation of a large section of the people, who would employ you because you were evangelical, forsooth.'

Here Flummery took out his note-book, and was making an entry, when Heigarth asked him what he was recording.

"Only the fact that there is a large amount of cant in Stirling, because I think it of importance, that in a tour conducted by intelligent men, the feelings and opinions of the people should be attended to, as well as the sublime and beautiful in scenery.'

As the doctor had a little leisure he proposed a walk in the town, to which the commissioners readily assented.

"Where shall we turn to?" inquired Swipes. "I vote for the castle, though it should be for no other purpose than to visit the canteen, and see if the ale is as good as it was of yore."

to a

To the castle they accordingly directed their steps, and soon found themselves within the inner gateway. The doctor led the way battery which commands, perhaps, one of the most magnificent views in Scotland.

"Look away to the right," said he, with enthusiasm, "and tell me if you have seen anything more beautiful. These are the famous links of Forth. See how gracefully they sweep through that rich alluvial plain, studded with farm-steadings, noble woods, and waving with corn. Your eye cannot follow their tortuous course. There they are concealed at that bold curve by a cluster of trees, and further on how gloriously they reappear again, like a great sheet of silver."

"What lofty masses are these in front, rising above that broad tract of fine arable land?" inquired Flummery.

"These form the beginning of the long range of the Ochil Hills, and here to the left you have the beautiful valleys of the Teith and the Allan. Further in the distance you see towering high in air, and black with shade, the immense chain of eminences constituting the Highland line; and yon great black objects rising proudly even above them, and still half enveloped in mist, are the summits of Benledi, Benvenue, and Benlomond."

It was with no little satisfaction that the doctor pointed out the places most attractive, either on account of their picturesque beauty, or the historical and romantic incidents connected with them. The battles of Sauchie and Bannockburn were fought over again; and as he led the way through the royal apartments of the old palace, the barrack rooms, once the parliament house, and the armoury, once a magnificent chapel, he told many a legend of that "jolly beggar" James V., and many a tale of gay rejoicing, of feats of arms, of bloodshed and murder, which had their origin in those days, when, in Stirling,

"Scotia's kings of other years,

Fam'd heroes, had their royal home."

When at length all worthy of interest had been looked at, our commissioners, oppressed with heat and thirst, turned their steps towards the canteen, before which a sentry was pacing his rounds. He was a tall, thin, soldier-like youth, fully equipped in the "garb of old Gaul;" and though there was nothing extraordinary about his appearance, the moment Swipes observed him he made a dead halt, and commenced a close scrutiny of his features, which seemed satisfactory, for in a few minutes he surprised his friends by arresting the sentry in his walk, and shouting out, "Good God! Campbell, is this you?" A cordial shaking of hands ensued, and various rapid inquiries passed between them.

"What a pity," said Swipes, "you are on duty. I should like much to have a glass with you, for 'auld lang syne."

"I'll be relieved in about a quarter of an hour. going to ?"

"The canteen," answered Swipes.

Where are you

"Well, I'll join you there, if you can wait for twenty minutes."

On entering the canteen Swipes informed his friends that the sentry was an old acquaintance whom he had not seen for many years, and whose fate he had often wished to learn. "Gad!" exclaimed the worthy lawyer, "I consider it a good omen of success in our journey, that I

should have met Willie Campbell on the starting ground. Here's to him in this beautiful ale."

And beautiful ale it was; and it looked all the better on account of being placed on the table by the fair hands of a sprightly lass, whose smart appearance and pretty face won the tender heart of Flummery. Pipes were soon lighted, and the party took their ease amidst a cloud of smoke, and discoursed convivially. Indeed, had their talk been overheard by the vulgar crowd, who look upon travellers that chronicle their adventures as grave, steady men, with note and sketch books always in their hands, they would have been set down as common people, addicted to common pursuits, instead of the scientific and observant commissioners they actually were.

In due time Campbell appeared, and was heartily welcomed. Scarcely had he partaken of a modest quencher of ale, when Swipes abruptly asked him "How the devil he came to enlist?"

"Oh, the old story," answered Campbell; "money all gone, no friends to assist me, and no employment to be had."

"But enlarge a bit-give us an outline of your career; we have half an hour to spend. Come, Flummery, out with your note-book, and prepare to record the eventful life of a vagrant."

"It's hardly worth while, for I have little to tell," said Campbell; "but since you wish it, I'll give you a sketch of my wanderings. When I found my native town too hot for me, as you know well, Mr. Swipes, on account of debt and dissipation, I thought it best to go to America, and start again in the race of life with a new character. I did so, and landed in New York with a few pounds in my pocket, and without a single letter of introduction. I soon found that things there were not in such a bright state as emigrant guide books represent. Not a decent situation was to be had; and when my last shilling was gone, I was only too happy to become porter in a general store. How I cursed my unlucky stars. My master was a tyrannical wretch, and never done abusing me; so one day, in a fit of rage, I knocked him down, and kicked him so dreadfully, that I was glad to flee the place to escape certain punishment. For months afterwards I rambled about the states, leading a wild and unsettled life, and just working now and then when obliged by necessity. I visited Canada, and found employment as a hand in one of the steamers on Lake Ontario. I soon got tired of the drudgery, and engaged myself to a farmer in the backwoods, who kept me for a month or two cutting and felling timber. I might have wintered with him, but the fellow found out I was over-intimate with his daughter, and was glad to get rid of me. I then returned to Montreal, and, after idling awhile, joined a homeward-bound ship, and worked my passage to Liverpool. When I landed I had only a few shillings, and, of course, no prospect of a situation. I knocked about the country for some months, living God knows how, for I had not a coin. As a last resource, I joined a company of strolling players, with whom I had scraped acquaintance. I had always a sneaking fondness for the stage-my recitation was tolerable, and I sung and danced well, so the manager readily engaged me for 'walking gentleman and general utility,' at fourteen shillings a week. With that corps I travelled the greater part of England, and experienced many ups and downs of life; but as I got accustomed to my vagrant situation, I thought little of the rebuffs of fortune. Indeed, although I

seldom had money, I never wanted, for actors, as well as soldiers, always find friends willing to treat them. At last, as ill-luck would have it, I quarrelled with the manager, and left him in Swansea. There I remained for a month or two, pretty comfortable considering all things. From the landlord of a tavern I got board and lodging, on condition of presiding every night over a sort of free-and-easy, where I was regarded as a prodigy of talent. I entertained them with recitations from Shakspeare, sung songs, made mock speeches, decided bets, and laid down the law on all questions, moral, religious, and political. Tired at length of this roistering life, I joined another company of strolling players, on the route to attend the Scottish fairs. Such killing work as I had with that company! We frequently had seventeen houses in one day, playing each time the same piece, and receiving just about as much pay as would keep the bones green. In the course of that season I played many parts; sometimes I led the heavy business; sometimes figured as clown, to the great risk of my neck, and sometimes did little else for days than howl outside to a standing mob to be in time.' One week I have played a fourth-rate character with Macready, or Miss Faucit, and the next perhaps, strutted the stage as the noblest Roman of them all.' But to end my story. We had been playing in Ayr for several nights without success; our company was then a sharing one, and at the end of a week's hard work there was only a couple of shillings for each of us. Dissatisfied with this statement of affairs we went in a body to the manager, and taxed him with appropriating all the money. He promised to look into the matter next day; but during the night the scoundrel fled, and left us in the lurch. Here was a precious situation. I was in debt, and had not a sixpence. My available property consisted of a wig, a pair of skin-tights, and a sword. To procure a dinner I sold them for a trifle. In the evening I had a good stiff glass, and while roving about met a recruiting sergeant. 'Damn it,' I said to myself, it must come to that at last; I may as well enlist now.' I did so; and taking it all in all, the queen's service is not the worst I have been in. Gentlemen, my respects to you; Mr. Swipes, your health in particular."

have

Thank ye, Willie," answered Swipes. "It's a queer life you led, and a precious end you have made of it; but I dare say, for a reckless fellow like you, the army is the best place."

"I have high hopes of leaving it soon," said Campbell; "you mind long ago, how you used to laugh at me when I spoke of being a Highland chieftain before closing my career."

"Well, and have you attained the height of your ambition? You've got the garb, at any rate; and, upon the whole, are as savage-looking as any Highland thief, or chief, could desire to be."

"I'm quite serious, Mr. Swipes; Old Duncan Campbell, of Ochilgottle, is dead, and my father is heir beyond doubt."

"The devil he is!" said Swipes. "How do you make that out?" "Gad, I'm not very good at explaining my ancestral tree. My father, it seems, is descended from Dougall, the thirtieth chief, who was beheaded in 1715. I can't explain the connexion, but he says he is nearest claimant."

"Dougall had three sons and a daughter," said Swipes; "from which of them is your father descended?"

"The daughter," answered Campbell.