gular gifts and graces, and not know of it; and it is almost impossible to know it, and not be puffed up in a greater or less degree. O what a degree of humility should the spiritual worthy pray for, lest at any time he be puffed up! Should the servant of Jesus take it ill that hearers flock more after others than himself, seeing it is, at least should be, still Christ they are running after? can it vex him, if he speak in sincerity, because some are masters of more eloquence than he?

O for that noble disposition of minding the things of others as well as mine own, and blessing God with cheerfulness for the singular gifts of others whereby he is glorified, which should be my whole aim, as well as for mine own! Let others excel in setting thee upon high, though thou shouldst always refuse my service. Let the spiritual temple be built,though I should never lay one stone in the edifice. Give liberally, very liberally, to all thy saints and servants, and mine eye shall never be evil because thine is good. It is enough to be a cup in thy house, though others be bowls and flaggons. Surely the loyal subject will give his joyful acclamation at the coronation of his king, though not permitted to place the crown on his head, or perform any of the ceremonies. Is there any dissonance among the stars (nor should there be among the saints)because one star excelleth another in glory? Such and such gifts, or such and such degrees in these gifts, which I emulate for, might hurt me. Fire may be kept in a brasen vessel, which would burn a wooden one. Boiling water might crack a glass bottle, but not a stone bowl: so these qualifications which I think would make me all vigour and spirit, might hurt my spirit in more spiritual things. Few, like Moses, could carry a command so vastly great, with a vastly greater meekness; or have the humility to cover his

face when it shines, and reflect the glory God-ward. Though I could pray like an apostle, and speak like an angel, yet, if the least pride spring from the per formance, it were better to speak like a babbler, and pray like a babe in grace. I should press after grace continually, and grace in the highest degree, without which the noblest gifts will be but sound and smoke, without heat; while the weakest gifts, with true grace, may edify both myself and others. I should rest satisfied in the all-wise disposal of Providence, who giveth to all as he pleaseth, since, though there be diversities of gifts, it is the same Spirit who knows best how to divide, and to whom; and if God be exalted, though I should exert myself, and would choose to excel, yet I should not take it amiss, that in that excellent work every one excels me, and out-does my utmost. Finally, though my capacity may be weak, and my faculties shallow, yet hereby may all my wants be made up, if I be rich in faith, to draw out of his fulness for my exigence; in humility and gratitude, to disclaim any thing in myself, and give him all the praise; and in love to God, to pour out my whole soul on him, while he kindly dwells in my heart, and replen ishes every power with his presence.

Bb 2

MEDITATION CXIII.

BIRTH-DAY.

S. Latitude 26°, May 30, 1761.

WHEN I dropped some thoughts last birth-day, I was uncertain that I should see another, but now may be quite certain that this day I shall never see again; therefore I am another year nearer to the unseen world, were my years never so many. Surely my years, like figures in arithmetic, rise in their value as their numbers increase, and the last redoubles the whole. Why? so much experience of the vanity of all things, so many providences ever working for me, such fatherly chastisements, such rich displays of grace, such divine admonitions, so many tender mercies, and such sweet, sweet outlettings of love, leaves a heavy charge at my door, if I walk not answerably to them all.

Though I am still alive, and O that I could live to bim in whom I live, yet several families both of my friends and acquaintance have wept and wrung their hands for their expiring friends, in the short period of a year; and O how soon must I feel the mortal dart fixed in my heart, and every sickening pulse proclaim the approach of my last moments!

Then only thus shall I be before-hand with my wasting years, and get my heart fenced against the terrors of death, by having my life hid with Christ in God, and my conversation in heaven; so should I antedate my future happiness, begin eternity in time, and, like Enoch, walking with God, would get my soul filled with such an ardent flame of heavenly love, that I would have a desire to be dissolved, and to be

with him. What a happy state were this; for death would drop his sting, the grave would cease to gloom, and awful eternity excite a song of triumph! Thus, while unprepared mortals tremble at the thoughts of death, I, longing for perfect freedom from sin, and eternal communion with God, in a kind of holy impatience, would cry out, Why is his chariot so long in coming? why tarry the wheels of his chariot ?

MEDITATION CXIV.

THOUGH WE WALK ON EARTH, OUR CONVERSATION SHOULD BE IN HEAVEN.

S. Latitude 10°, July 7, 1761.

THE way-faring man has little on the fatiguing road but his weary feet; his heart being set on his family, his friends,his home; his affections on his native country, and his desires terminating on his journey's end. Then, am not I a traveller heaven-ward, a pilgrim, and a sojourner on earth? What then have I here, or whom have I here, to captivate my affections, and hinder them from being set on high? If I have any treasure, it must be in heaven, for nothing on earth is worthy of the name, seeing all terrene things take wings, and fly away; or if they remain, it is but to be consumed in the general conflagration. Nothing sure of mine should dwell in this world, but the body of my mortality. My inner man should be an inhabitant of the better country: and it is highly reasonable it should be so, for my hope, my joy, my all are there. 1. The Father of my spirit is there, the beloved of my soul, and the husband of mine espousals; the sanctifier of mine affections, and the kindler of my love, is there.

2. All my friends in a spiritual respect are there, even the whole family of my heavenly Father, angels, archangels, cherubims, seraphims, and the spirits of just men made perfect. Who would not then dwell in such an assembly, and love such a divine society? 3. My house and home are there, and it must be an estranged heart indeed that never thinks on his own house, and never longs for home. 4. Mine inheritance is there, and a goodly portion it is, and pleasant lines they are, that are fallen to me. The heirs of this world only farm from father to son, and death determines the lease; but there every one inherits for himself, and that for eternity. 5. The objects of my faith, the subjects of my song, and the darling excellencies of my love, are all there; and what soul would not dwell among such divine delights, walk in such a paradise, and breathe in the very air of sanctity and bliss?

O what a loss do I sustain by my ignorance of the divine life, and by the carnality of my mind! But is such an happiness attainable below? Yes; the Christian, even here, may have his conversation in heaven, or (as the word signifies) his civil life. Then, 1. He that lives a civil life any where, must buy and sell, and do business with the men of his place; so may I in heaven even buy the merchandise of bliss without money, and without price; and carry on the noblest business with the highest One in the most interesting concerns of my soul, 2. Where one lives he necessarily walks and talks, eats and drinks, sleeps and wakes; so may my soul by faith walk over the fields of light, and talk with the Author of my bliss, the fountain of my joy, and the centre of my love: there I may eat of the hidden manna, pluck off the drop-ripe apples of the tree of life, and drink of those rivers of pleasures that eternally overflow in his presence; yea, and fall asleep