But first let vs hearken the gentlemans wise talke. 25 T. TRUSTY. I pray you marke if euer ye sawe crane so stalke. ACTUS V. SCENA VI [Enter at a distance] R. Roister [and] M. Merygreeke. C. Custance, G. Goodlucke, Ꭲ . Trustie [remain]. D. Doughtie [and] Harpax [enter later]. R. ROYSTER. May I then be bolde? R. ROYSTER. Thei wer not angry, then? And therewith had commended you accordingly, 5 M. MERY. Why so? better nay. Wherfore? M. MERY. When tooke he gaine of money to any mans harmes? C. CUSTANCE. Yes, a fowle vsurer he is, ye shall see els, R. ROYSTER. Didst not thou promise she would picke no mo quarels? 25 C. CUSTANCE. He will lende no blowes but he haue in recompence Fiftene for one: whiche is to muche, of conscience! R. ROYSTER. Ah, dame, by the auncient lawe of armes, a man Hath no honour to foile1 his handes on a woman. C. CUSTANCE. And, where other vsurers take their gaines yerely, 30 This man is angry but he haue his byand-by. GA. GOODL. Sir, doe not for hir sake beare me your displeasure. M. MERY. Well, he shall with you talke therof more at leasure. Vpon your good vsage, he will now shake your hande. R. ROYSTER. And much heartily welcome from a straunge lande! 35 M. MERY. Be not afearde, Gawyn, to let him shake your fyst! GA. GOODL. Oh, the moste honeste gentleman that ere I wist! 2 He may stablishe and maintaine through to the ende. M. MERY. God graunt hir, as she doth, the Gospell to protect, Learning and vertue to aduaunce, and vice to correct. R. ROYSTER. God graunt hir louyng subiects both the minde and grace Hir most godly procedyngs worthily to imbrace. 55 HARPAX. Hir Highnesse most worthy counsellers God prosper With honour and loue of all men to minister. OMNES. God graunt the Nobilitie hir to serue and loue, With all the whole Commontie,' as doth them behoué. Amen. 1 Commons. FINIS. A RYGHT PITHY, PLEASAUNT AND MERIE COMEDIE: INTYTULED GAMMER GURTONS NEDLE1 PLAYED ON STage, not longe AGO in Christes Colledge Made by MR. S. MR. of Art Imprented at London in Fleetestreat beneth the Conduit at the signe 1 Professor Henry Bradley has presented evidence rendering it highly probable that this play was written by William Stevenson, Fellow of Christ's College, Cambridge, and acted by the students in Christ's College in 1553-54, and revived in 1559-60, possibly with the assistance of John Bridges. The play was entered by Thomas Colwell in the Stationers' Registers, 1563, as Dyccon of Bedlam, etc., and he may then, or shortly after, have issued an edition. The only edition of which we know, however, bears the date 1575. I have based the present text on the copy of the 1575 edition (A.) in the British Museum. In modernizing the punctuation and stage directions, as well as in other details, I have derived some assistance from the editions by Manly, Specimens, 1896, and Bradley, in Representative English Comedies, 1903. A discharged patient from the Bethlehem Hospital for the insane, who was licensed to travel about the country as a beggar. * A. Docke. Manly's scribe in error reads Scapethryk. 1 THE PROLOGUE As Gammer Gurton with manye a wyde styche 4 Dame Chat, her deare gossyp, this needle had found. Yet knew shee no more of this matter, alas, Then knoeth Tom, our clarke, what the priest saith at masse! Mas Doctor was sent for these gossyps to staye, When all thinges were tombled and cleane out of fassion, And drew it out of his bottocke where he felt it stickynge. 6 With a pot of good nale they stroake vp theyr plauditie. 1 Mending. THE FYRST ACTE THE FYRST SCEANE [A village street in perspective. Gammer Gurton's house on one side, Dame Chat's ale-house on the other. The time, Saturday evening after sun-down.] [Enter] Diccon [out of Gammer Gurton's house]. DICCON. Many a myle haue I walked diuers and sundry waies, And many a good mans house haue I bin at in my daies, Many a gossips cup in my tyme haue I tasted, And many a broche and spyt haue I both turned and basted, Many a peece of bacon haue I had out of thir balkes 1 5 In ronnyng ouer the countrey with long and were walkes Yet came my foote neuer within those doore-cheekes, To seeke flesh, or fysh, garlyke, onyons, or leekes, 1 Tic-beams in houses. 3 Time. • Ale. 15 20 But the next remedye in such a case and hap Is to plaunche' on a piece as brode as thy cap. HODGE. Gogs soule, man, tis not yet two dayes fully ended Synce my dame Gurton, chem sure, these breches amended! But cham made such a drudge, to trudge at euery neede, 15 Chwold rend it though it were stitched wath sturdy pacthreede. 1 The N.E.D. defines as " an appetizer." It possibly means here that Diccon will exchange the bacon for two pots of ale. 2 The southern dialect (ich = I, icham cham = I am, chave I have, etc.) early became the conventional stage dialect for rustics. * Spoiled. 4 Clap. A suce, possibly intentionally. • A. what. DICCON. Hoge, let thy breeches go, and speake and tell mee soone What deuil ayleth Gammer Gurton and 20 They coure so ouer the coles theyr eyes be bleard with smooke. DICCON. Nay, by the masse! I perfectly perceiued, as I came hether, That eyther Tib and her dame hath ben by the eares together, Or els as great a matter as thou shalt shortly see. HODGE. NOW iche beseeche our Lord they neuer better agree! DICCON. By Gogs soule, there they syt as still as stones in the streite, 25 As though they had ben taken 2 with fairies, or els with some il sprite. HODGE. Gogs hart! I durst haue layd my cap to a crowne Chwould lerne of some prancome as sone as ich came to town! 3 And flynging about his halfe-aker, fysking with her taile, As though there had ben in her ars a swarme of bees And chad not cryed, "Tphrowh, hoore!" shead lept out of his lees.5 DICCON. Why, Hodg! lies the connyng in Tom Tankards cowes taile? 35 HODGE. Well, ich chaue hard some say such tokens do not fayle. But ca[n]st thou not tell," in faith, Diccon, why she frownes, or wher-at? Hath no man stolne her ducks, or henes, or gelded Gyb, her cat? DICCON. What deuyll can I tell, man? I cold not haue one word; They gaue no more hede to my talk then thou woldst to a lorde. 40 |